


Flight

by DeminiSSS



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Collars, Daddy Kink, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Choking, Force Sensitivity, Forced, Master/Servant, Past Torture, Physical Abuse, Spanking, Submissive Character, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 23:21:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 110,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeminiSSS/pseuds/DeminiSSS
Summary: Septa Kardell  was the personal pilot of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Her past tries to fight it's way forward, but with the eventual help of Kylo Ren, they can conquer her past and quite possibly bring an end to the war that has ravaged the galaxy.  But will she accept his help and will she submit to his will? Her past screams no, but her future says yes.





	1. Chapter 1

I was a pilot for the First Order Navy. Graduating at the top of my class with full honors, I was given the opportunity to pilot the Finalizer, lead ship of the Navy. Many of my fellow cadets dreamed to be a lead pilot of one of the destroyers. But that never really appealed to me. It was too many meetings and interaction with others. I would have to interact constantly with the many people on the bridge, commanding officers yelling out orders and contradicting each other. Plus, there wasn’t much in the way of piloting a ship like that. Being so big, you couldn’t maneuver quickly.   
The small ships held maybe three officers at most and I knew my talents would be best put to good use on one of them. The Upsilon-class shuttle were known to be very reliable, fast, and best of all, small crew. Being chosen for this assignment was a high point in the beginning of my career, but my excitement was cut short when it was revealed to be Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s personal shuttle. Commanding the best, and with his last pilot permanently removed, he searched for a younger, more skilled pilot. But he was unpredictable and anything could set him off. I almost considered declining the offer, but there was no declining that position. My teacher beamed with pride when he found out his star pupil was going to fly for the Supreme Leader and he made it well known throughout the academy..  
So now, here I was, taking a transport to my new destination. The Finalizer. This was going to be my home port where the ship was always docked. Never having seen the Finalizer in person, just the smaller star destroyers, their simple grey design paled in comparison on what this ship was. The high polished, black exterior made it seem to blend into the darkness of space. A thin, light blue light wrapped around the center ship, the only thing breaking it’s invisibility. And it was massive. It must have held at least a hundred thousand crewmen.  
After landing, I waited for the higher officers to depart and my fellow pilot's who were assigned here as well to leave. The hanger was fairly empty as the tie fighters and other ships were neatly tucked away in a conveyor style strip. Some stormtroopers were stationed next to a few of the ships that were being worked on while more were marching around in formation, doing their daily security rounds and checkups. A handful of the troopers were there to greet us. As I stepped off the ramp, one with a red leather sash on his right shoulder stepped forward, “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren requests your presence in meeting room three f seven hundred at 2000 hours.”   
I had a quick glance at the time before leaving the shuttle and it had read 1950. Crap, I don’t even know where my room was. “Where is the room?”  
He motioned over a lower level trooper and instructed him to show me where to go. My things would be delivered to my room he also indicated before marching off  
I tried to converse with the trooper leading me but he only gave me a yes or no answer. Trying to take my mind off of the upcoming meeting, I looked around, taking in my surroundings. All the hallways were the same. Polished, dark grey floors reflected what ever was walking or rolling on top of it. Lighter grey panels lined the hall while closed blaster doors, all the same design, were spaced several feet apart. Slender panels were lining the top and bottom of the walls emitting a bright white light. The elevators at the end of the hallway were attached to a track and I watched in awe as one zipped past our floor and kept going to its destination. Stepping inside, the trooper taped a few buttons, the door closed, and we were dashed toward our destination  
Before long, we were standing in front of the required door with about two minutes left to spare. The trooper pushed a green light and stood at attention next to it and there was no more movement from him. It seemed like forever but the door finally opened and what I could observe from the outside, the room was basked in darkness. Little light bars lined the floor a few feet but that did nothing to illuminate the room. With a nervous breath I walked in a few feet and the door closed quickly behind me. Jumping at the sudden closure, I barely had time to register a light coming on in the middle of the room, illuminating a single stool in the middle of the room. Taking a few uneasy steps forward, trying to look around but darkness was everywhere. “Sit,” a deep masculine voice commanded and it felt like it was coming from everywhere.  
With my heart pounding, I quickly made it over to the seat, sitting at attention, my heels resting on the bottom rung. I kept my eyes forward and tried to keep no expression on my face, but inside, I was shaking. Something about the sound and tone of his voice made me shake and fear for my life.   
“Have you heard of what happened on Crait not long ago?” the voice asked moving from my right side around to the left, not so close that it was in my ear but in the room.  
“Yes, Sir.” I responded.  
“Then you know what happened to the pilot that was assigned to my ship?”  
The death of any prestigious pilot in the fleet was always big news in the academy. A lot of the teachers would either cancel the class or let us all go early. Usually we were told how they died, but the death the Supreme Leader was asking me about was withheld from us. “No, Sir.”   
Silence filled the area again. Not knowing where he was or not being able to hear the sounds of footsteps was becoming unnerving. Suddenly, a voice came from the front. He was circling me like a predator staked its prey, “Do you know why you were chosen?”   
Not knowing how to answer that without trying to sound egotistical, “I would guess my transcripts and letters of recommendations my teachers have sent, Sir”  
“You were the top of your class. You broke many records the academy held. Everything that was given to you were returned with flawless results,” He stepped forward into the light but his height blocked out part of it, “I demand perfection. I chose every personnel that is stationed on my ship,” He then leaned down down to my eye level, inches apart and just stared, the light above me shined into my eyes and I couldn’t make out his face that well. Instinct told me to lean back but training forbade it. I knew he was a very powerful man and seeing his unreadable face this close made my insides flip. He took in a deep breath, “You will make sure my shuttle is prepared at all times. You will take orders from me and report to me and only me,” his finger touching his chest each time, “Do you understand?”  
“Yes, Sir,” replying with a slight shake to my voice.  
He stared at me for a few moments, “Good. The information about my ship will be in your com terminal. You are dismissed.”  
“Yes, Sir,” I slid off the side of the stool and began to walk to the door, thankful for this meeting to be over.  
“Oh, and Captain Kardell,” I stopped, but fear prevented me from turning around, “Do not disappoint me.”  
The door opened and I stepped out into the light again and the door shut. Leaning against the door, it took me a moment for my body to stop shaking and a small droplet of sweat went down the right side of my face. Before my time at the academy, I had faced down some pretty large and look so tough men, but the one on the other side of the door, I just knew I had to stay away from. He may be my direct supervisor but I knew I had to spend most of my time under his radar or I am going to end up like the last pilot. Taking a deep, steadying breath, I pushed off of the wall and turned to the awaiting trooper, “So where are my quarters please?”  
The pilot's quarters were stationed on the hanger bay level for easier access to their ships. After the trooper entered in the code to the restricted access door, we walked in and passed by several large rooms with rows and rows of bunk beds. They were for the regular tie fighter pilot's. At the end of the hallway you could turn left and enter into the common room where a lot of the pilot's were already in there relaxing and playing games. Turning right, there were small rooms with bunk beds to the left for more of the heavy duty pilot's. Reaching another intersection, we made another right. These were small, personal rooms for higher ranking pilot's, shuttle crews, and the pilot's for this destroyer, all assigned with their own rooms. Reaching the end of the hallway, my room was to the left, “Why didn’t we just go through that door?” I asked, pointing to the glass door, looking at the hanger bay..  
“It will only open from the inside. Your belongings are inside along with other parcels.” he flatly replied and marched, out of the door and into the hanger.  
Putting my thumb on the dim red button next to the door and it opened with a quite swoosh. Stepping inside, the lights automatically came on and I entered a simple living room that was the main area. A small kitchen was to the left as was a table for at most two people. To the right was another door that I assumed was to my room. Everything was in a grey scale. The walls were a gun metal color and the couch was just black. The dining table, side table next to the couch and coffee table was a lighter grey. The floor was a polished plain grey. Next to the door was a table with two com monitors and a simple rolling chair. A few data disks were laid neatly in front of it.   
Heading to the bedroom door, I stepped inside and the auto lights sprang to life. A simple queen bed was on the right, half way under a window where metal shades were closed. A grey, metal foot locker with several other smaller boxes were placed at the foot of the bed. Positioned under the other half of the window was a desk with a cylindrical lamp at the corner next to the bed and another com monitor on it and a regular, chair scooted underneath. Opening the shades, I was met with the sight of the ship I would be piloting. I never got to see the ship in person but I was awestruck on the size of it. Kylo Ren's shuttle was placed right in front of my window. It was sitting where it’s engines faced me and I could see the ramp that was lowered. It’s flight wings reached high and I could not see them from where I stood.   
Backing up a few steps I turned to another set of doors. The right led to a bathroom with a tub and shower combo. A small wall shielded the metal toilet and a simple sink and cabinet sat across the shower. More grey scale.   
To the left was a double door closet which was presently opened, showing the ample clothing storage inside as well as a chest of drawers along one side. Going back over to the locker, I took off the boxes and opened my trunk. I didn’t have much. Several sets of uniforms, a couple pairs of shoes, and my awards were the main things inside. Lifting the clothes out to put away, I saw a small, wrapped box underneath. Placing my clothes on the floor, I picked up the box and sat at the edge of my bed. There was a card tucked into the ribbon. It read, “Congratulations on your successful and impressive completion of your schooling at the academy. It has been a pleasure and an honor for me to be able to teach such a strong, fine student. I hope your future commissions will bring you to worlds that you have never seen. Inside is a gift that I hope you will use to remember your adventures. Signed, Commander Valox”  
Giving a small smile at the card, I placed it to the side and began to unwrap the gift. Pulling out and opening a brown leather pouch, I took out a camera. He knew I loved to take pictures with my data pad back at school. Placing the gift gently on to the desk, I went about putting away my clothes. After hanging up the uniforms and white undershirts, I retrieved a set of casual clothes, relaxation clothes, and workout clothes I had used at school. All were long pants and long sleeved, with a few black hoodies. First Order issue white bras, underwear, and socks were the last to go into the drawers.   
Coming back, I took my trunk and put that away into the closet, then looked at the other sets of boxes that came with my shipment. The first felt light. Opening the metal top, I sighed as there was more data disks similar to the ones that were at the com in the living room. Putting them on the desk, I opened the next. There was a note on top of more clothing. It read, ‘Inside are the required uniforms that you will wear while piloting. If there are more needed or any alterations, contact the laundry facility. At the bottom are the data disks that will tell you everything you need to know about my ship’ The end. Getting to the last, there were more clothes. But these were more of the training type. I was delighted to find that these also also were long sleeved and long pants. A little too form fitting to my taste but if this is what is required, then I would have to make do. There was a gym and flight simulators on board as all pilot's were expected to stay in peak physical conditions, operating conditions, and skills.   
Deciding that I had enough for the day, I closed the blinds and put the rest clothes away. Coming back I picked up the disks. One read, Schedule. The others, Locations and Regulations respectively. Deciding to look at scheduled first, I sat and placed my palm on the reader and it immediately sprang to life. Inserting the disk, I began to read. Roll call was at 0700 hours and mess was at 0800 hours. Since I wasn’t part of the normal group and was new, I had a slightly different schedule. After breakfast I was to report to the medic to have a full medical evaluation. That would take most of the morning. Lunch was served at 1200 hours. After I was to report to General Hux as I was to be part of a meeting. Dinner was served at 1800 hours and after was free time. It showed today's date so I guess my schedule would change every day. Deciding that I would just go to bed, I closed the shades and grabbed my sleep wear.   
As I was finishing brushing my teeth, I finally looked at myself in the mirror. It’s been a while since I did so. Dark brown hair that reached to the middle of my back and matching eyes. Skin was pale because of the time I had spent inside flight simulators and the school itself. My height only reaching about five foot three inches. Being so short compared to the other cadets, I always made a point to sit at the front of every class I was assigned or I would never had been able to see the board. All of the uniforms had to be altered because of my short stature and the only asset that I was kind of proud to have. My breasts were a little on the larger side than my fellow female cadets. At home they would be a D at least, but in this place, it seemed that the smaller the better. It didn’t matter. The only time I had any type of relationship was when I first started. And that ended in disaster.   
Pulling up my collar more to hide a scar that was peeking out, I exited the bathroom and headed straight for bed. It was going to be a long day, I could feel it.

After my morning shower, the ever boring roll call and the breakfast, I headed to the med bay. I woke up early just to study the map and where I was supposed to report to that day. I arrived right on time for my appointment and the med bay was a whirl with medical droids attending to personnel with various wounds. A humanoid droid approached and talked with a distorted voice, “Captain Kardell?”  
“Yes.”  
“This way, please” and I followed it down a more quiet corridor into a polished white room with a slab in the middle and a chair in the corner. The door closed behind me, “Please, remove your clothes and lay on your back on the table.” It turned to a panel in the wall and pressed a blue button.  
I froze. At the school, we had to shower communally with the same sex. Every time I went to shower, I would get stares and whispers about how my body looked. From the scars, to the bigger breasts, they all quietly mocked me. It came to a point where I had to beg every day to be able to shower after everyone had left. “Is that really necessary?”  
“Yes. This is a through exam.” It said but didn’t turn around.  
With shaking hands, I began to unbutton my uniform. There wasn’t many buttons. The gray overcoat, which showed my rank and credentials, were draped over the back while I slid the highly polished black shoes underneath with my socks tucked neatly inside. The white undershirt I folded and as quickly as I could, unbuckled my belt and took off my pants, folding as well and setting it on top of the shirt. Keeping my eyes fixed to the ceiling, I removed the bra and underwear.   
Laying back, I was surprised that the metal table was quite warm. The bot finally came over, “How long ago did you receive those marks?” It asked whiling motioning over a droid that hovered in the air.   
“Long time ago. Just, please, get it over with.” I huffed, wanting not to talk about it.  
It took the entire three hours for the exam to be done. The bot took several samples of blood, prodded every part of my body, and extracted other bodily fluids that I was getting embarrassed about. Thankfully, there was no other mention about the scars, but I did get a little worried when the android told me that the results will be delivered to the Supreme Leader. I just hoped that he would overlook certain things.  
Lunch was an uneventful fare. As usual, I would get my food and find a table that was well far away from anyone and the lack of people in the mess hall helped that out. Some were still out on med leave and others, well the others are needing replacement.  
Deciding to get my data pad before the meeting, I rushed back to my room. Having already loaded the data pad with the map of the ship, I arrived about two minutes before it the meeting started  
The room had a fairly large rectangle table with high ranking officers and lead pilot's sitting around. General Hux was sitting more toward the middle, talking to his second in command. There were only two seats available and they were to the left to the General. Walking around I claimed one that was the furthest away and waited for the meeting to start. As soon as I settled, a cold feeling flowed through me and a few seconds later, a hidden door my right opened and every one stood as the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren stepped though. My nervousness grew and I began to think about the meeting I had with this man last night. His face held no expression as he stalked around my side of the table. His black cloak was billowing out with every step. I swear I could feel anger radiating off of him, like he really didn’t want to be here. I also realized that he took the last seat which as right next to me and only after he sat were we able to take our seats. Kylo Ren sat back and put his right ankle on his left knee and stared at the table, his fingers folded neatly on his lap.  
“Good evening gentleman,” General Hux started, “and lady,” he turned to me. Looking down at my lap, I began to blush as the sudden attention and at that moment, I could feel a heat starting to grow at the base of my skull and I knew that Ren was staring at me. The General began to go over highlights of the last meeting everyone had and I began to notice that the other pilot's were looking through their data pads. Deciding to follow their lead, I turned mine on and began to familiarize with the ship I was assigned to pilot.   
About an hour in, Hux was talking with another fleet commander. I was looking at the different compartments that was in the instrument cluster when I suddenly got a cold chill down my back. Not daring to turn my head, I knew it was Ren staring at me again. Trying to think of reasons that I might have done to deserve this attention, I was thankful when we were interrupted.  
“There is a rumor that the rebels have regrouped on Skako,” Hux said, “It is unconfirmed but after the fiasco on Crait,” he glanced at the man seated next to me. I could feel the tension growing in the room, “We need to regroup our forces and material. We will need to have a spy or two to get more information.” He turned to Kylo, “What do you think, Supreme Leader?”  
He turned his head to Hux, “Send the spies” he said in an aggravated tone.  
I could tell Hux rolled his eyes, “Very well. Captain Forspal, get together a few of your elite and find out what you can. If there isn’t anything else,” He turned to Kylo, giving him a stare, “You all are dismissed.”   
I filed out with the others but not before glancing back. Another cold chill went down my spine as I saw Kylo Ren staring at me. Quickly, I made my way out of the room and free of his gaze.  
Stopping outside, I stood for a moment to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. The feeling of foreboding came over me as the meeting room doors closed and I filed into the last elevator, that was empty, which would take me to the hanger. Leaning against the wall as the pod took off, I took my hat off and wiped my face with my hand still trying to figure out why he was just staring at me.   
My past taught me to be a warrior, to have a tough outside and an even tougher inside. No emotion were to be shown. No emotion to be given. No one was supposed to crack our shell. So why was this man able to get through the layers my past training instilled in me? All it took was one look that knocked down all of my defenses. Knowing I had to do something to bring them back up, I rested my head against the wall and waited for the pod to stop. After calming down, I looked over at my schedule.   
Since there was a couple of hours before dinner, I headed to the shuttle. Walking out to the hanger, there were a couple of mechanics out and about, fixing various repairs and maintenance to other ships and stormtroopers marching around. Reaching the ship, there were two mechanics under one of the wing panels and two troopers standing guard at the base of the ramps. They said and did nothing as I stepped into the ship. It was dark with just the backup lights running. But there was enough lights to be able to see. Two rows of seats lined both sides of the surprisingly large cargo hold, all with their own seat belts. At the end of the hold was a slender staircase that led to bridge. At the top of the stairs, I was met with a single seat in the middle of this large space and two other seats in front of the red windshield. My uniform boots echoed with each step as I walked around the chair. Looking at it, I could see several deep, burnt cuts from what I could only assume was his weapon. I’ve heard stories about the light saber through extra reading at school. Now that I have seen what it can do, I could only hope that the weapon would never be used against me.  
Heading over to the chair on the right, I sat, bringing my hands up and gently touching the hand controls, getting a feel for the handles. The main power were off line because the mechanics were currently doing maintenance on the engines. The other controls were of a touch style that stretched across the front, with just a few dials and flip switches. I was just starting to get comfortable when an sudden rush of coldness ran through me, the same coldness that I felt only twice before in the short time I have been here. It wasn’t a change in temperature in the bridge, it was an internal coldness. Snapping my head up in recognition, I stood quickly, smoothed down my uniform and stood with my hands resting at the small of my back. Not a second later, Kylo Ren stepped in. There was no audible indication of his arrival, his shoes must have been custom made to make no noise. He stopped and stared at me, looking up and down at my still form, a small look of confusion going across his face. Slowly he walked to the co pilot's chair, turned the chair so it faced me and sat, his ankle crossing over his knee again and stared. “What kind of engines are on here?” his sudden voice echoing through the area.  
I thought for a moment, “SJFS, Sir.”  
“Weapons?”  
“Heavy laser cannons, Sir.”  
There was a long pause before he spoke again, “I was looking more in depth in your back ground. You place of birth is missing. Why is that?”  
I didn’t know how to respond. At the academy they just skimmed over that saying that it’s a not an essential part of the application and the First Order doesn't care where their personnel came from, “I would like an answer today.” his voice dropped a little bit deeper and colder if that was at all possible.  
“I don’t know how to answer that, Sir” I had faced men bigger than I was. Nothing about them scared me and I have taken down a few of them, even killed one once before. But he was different. Something about Kylo Ren’s demeanor that makes everything that I have learned and trained for, become unraveled.  
“How about answering the question!” His voice went from a normal tone to almost shouting as he pushed himself off the chair and in two steps were standing to my right, so close but not touching. I could hear his heavy breathing from above be since he was at least a foot taller than me. Through gritted teeth but with the same authority, “Look at me!”  
Quickly I turned and snapped my head up. I stared into his dark eyes as he bent down so we were eye to eye and the same distance apart. When I first encountered the Supreme Leader last night, I couldn’t see his face clearly as I could now. His skin was pale from what I could only guess was from the amount of clothing that was covering his body and from the lack of sunlight anywhere on this ship. A scar ran from the top of his right eye and ended below his collar on the same side. His hair was black as coal but looked soft and it slightly bounced as he moved. A few spots of dark freckles or moles were scattered and if didn’t look so deadly as he did now, I would have considered him handsome. He gave out a disgruntled sigh and I could feel anger filling the room. Raising his right arm “Just because you are female, doesn’t mean I will not treat you any different than anyone else here,” he slowly closed his hand and I could feel invisible fingers close around my throat. It wasn’t much but my eyes grew wide. “Now answer my question,”  
My voice started to come out in a wheeze, “I... I’m not from a planet you know of, Sir.”  
The constriction around my throat squeezed a bit more and instinctively, I brought my hands up, clawing at nothing there, “That is quite obvious,” he began to stand and I seemingly floated upward with him, my feet dangling, “That is why I am asking. Now, answer the question.”   
“I... I’m... from another... galaxy,” I choked out, and I began to see my vision closing in from the pressure of my neck.  
He glared at me for a few more moments before dropping his arm. I came crashing down onto my hands and knees, gasping for breath. He stepped back. Coughing and wheezing, I was trying to catch my breath and he squatted down, his forearms resting on his knees. I didn’t want to look at him. I could hear the leather of his gloves creak as he clenched his fists, inches away from my head, “You will not last long here if you do not answer any question I ask of you. Am I regretting choosing you?”  
Coughing again, I stared at the floor, “No.. Sir,” my voice a little weaker and a tad higher.  
“Good. I want my chair reupholstered by tomorrow morning. Get my ship fixed.” He stood and walked out as quietly as he walked in.  
I waited till I couldn’t feel the coldness anymore before I let out a sob. It was small but enough for a tear to fall from my eye. Sitting back, I rested against the chair, wiping away the tear that had escaped and trying to calm my heart. I heard he was temperamental and kind of an ass hole but I didn’t know he was that dangerous to be around. Without even touching me, I felt like he was choking me. Waiting for my breath to even out and color to come, I stood, smoothed down my uniform, and made my way out of the ship .  
Walking over to where a mechanic was packing up his tools, “I want the Supreme Leaders chair fixed and returned by tomorrow.” I ordered.  
He wiped off a bit of grease from his hands and gave out a little chuckle, “Yeah. We know. That’s on the bottom of the list.”  
“I don’t care where on that list of yours it is, it needs to be done now.” I stared up at him. This mechanic was not going to blow me off and I could feel my anger beginning to rise.  
He looked over at his companion who was sitting on a box, snickering “I know that you are new around here sweetheart, but...” he was cut off when I pulled out a knife that was clipped to my belt. It was about 4 inches long but very sharp and aimed at his belly button.  
“Listen to me and listen good, grunt, don’t ever call me sweetheart or talk to an officer that way, you got me?” he stared at the knife then back at me, his face now filled with surprise and a bit of fear before nodding his head, “The Supreme Leader wants his chair fixed ASAP so if you have a problem with that, you can tell him.” I put my knife away, “Now, when will his seat be fixed?” I glared at him.  
“Tomorrow, Ma’am.” he shakily said.  
“Good. Carry on” and I walked away to the pilot's barracks, putting the knife back.  
Deciding to find out who was my co pilot, I went about trying to find who I was going to be flying with.  
I walked into the common area where is was pretty much all guys and they all stopped what they were doing and stared at me, “Second Lieutenant Ardak!” I called out. Everyone turned their heads to where he was sitting.  
“That’s my name!” he replied.  
“A word, if you please?” He looked around to the others and laid down his cards. Shrugging he got up and followed me into the hallway. He was tall, broad at the shoulders, blond hair, and a very charismatic smile. After the doors closed I turned to talk but he was first.  
“I will say that it will be my pleasure to work with such a strong and competent pilot. I heard you broke every record set in training school. Congratulations.” He gave me a toothy smile and leaned against the wall on his forearm. I had read on his record that he had several run ins with female coworkers when they were on leave.  
“Hmm, yes,” I looked at him up and down, “Since you have flown for the Supreme Leader, could you provide me with the names of all the crew that maintains the shuttle?”  
He pushed off of the wall, “Sure. How about we meet up at chow and I can give you the whole rundown of everything?”   
I sighed, “As much as that sounds delightful, I will have to pass. So if you will, send me that information tonight so I may review it.” I walked past him and straight to my room.  
As soon as my door closed, my back hit the door and I slid down, and with my emotions running as high as they were I started to cry. I stared at the ceiling, tears streaming down my face. Catching myself before I turned into a puddle of glue, I clenched my fists and let out a loud scream as I punched the floor, pain flaring up through my knuckles. Gritting my teeth, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push the feelings back down into the pit of my soul. It was bad. I wasn’t allowed to show emotions. Emotions were for the week and I was not weak, I was better than that. My training had forced me to harden my emotions. If Kylo Ren could get under my defenses like that, I knew I was going to be in trouble.  
Deciding that my appetite for dinner was ruined, I decided to just head up to the training rooms since everyone was going to be eating. Grabbing my workout gear, I threw them all onto the counter next to my sink. I began to peel off my jacket threw it on the ground and grabbed my white long sleeve under shirt till I saw my neck. Purple bruises were beginning to form where the unseen hands choked me. Touching them gently, they were a stark contrast against the scars that were there before. Not wanting to stare at the imperfections anymore, I turned my back to the mirror and changed.   
Making sure I grabbed my credentials badge, I waited until most of the pilot's and storm troopers were off eating dinner before slipping out of my rooms and down the hanger. The elevator took no time getting me to the training room floor. It was a hallway filled with doors with two sets of lights above them and from what I had read, if there was a red light above the door, that was occupied. Green was alright. There was a glass window next to the door, showing what was going on inside and what the equipment that room was equipped for. There was one black door at the end of the hall with no window and no light above it. Thinking nothing more of it, I ended up halfway down the hall when I looked inside a green room that had the equipment I was looking for. There was a couple treadmills in the back, simple weight sets to the right, punching bags to the left and an open space in the middle. Pushing the button and entering, the green light turned to red as the door closed behind me. Slipping out a thin black box and a pair of headphones, I spun through my music, found what I was looking for and headed for the treadmills.   
An hour flew by and the treadmill whirred with the speed I was making it go. My focus was squarely on the wall ahead of me, music blaring in my ears, and beads of sweat cascading down my face. I knew it was reaching the end since because my breathing was more ragged and strained, but I always pushed myself past my limits. It was the only way to keep any feelings or emotions down and gone. Slamming my hand on the red stop button, the belt stopped, and I hunched over, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.  
Getting off, I eyed the punching bags in the far corner and deciding to imagine Kylo Ren’s face planted in the center, I hiked my hoodie up, and began to hammer blows. My rage and aggression that should have bubbled to the front the first time I saw that man fueled my rage. How he made me feel, how weak my defenses were, and just the pure presence of this man was all coming out. I cursed his name loudly as I was throwing punches at the helpless bag. I also cursed when I hit the bag at just the right angle, that the pain on my hand flared up, reminding me of how that pain began in the first place. Looking down, I could see a fresh bruise starting to form and in a few places, blood began to flow.  
As I left the room to head to the medical ward, I felt a now familiar coldness run through me, and I looked down the hallway both left and right but I didn’t see him. Another pulse of coldness and I had barely enough time to rip off my ear phones, tuck them into my hoodie, bring the hood down a bit more to hide my face, before putting my hands behind my back standing at attention against the wall.  
Then the sounds of muffled footsteps echoed through the hall from the elevators, and I tried my best to stay motionless as Kylo Ren walked by. He never said a word or stopped but I did notice that he slowed down a tad, walking by me. He wasn’t wearing his usual cloak and robes, but was still wearing all black. The sound of my heart drowned out any other senses and as I felt that it was safe to look, I turned to watch him stop at the all black door and enter the darkened room. I let out the breath I had been holding after the doors securely shut behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

One thing I was glad about, was that over the next several months, as we flew the Supreme Leader and the General to different star destroyers, is that my meetings with Kylo Ren had been extremely minimum. I had seen him several times in the halls of the training rooms, but I always tried to stay well out of his way. But he always had a small look of surprise every time the crew was ready for him to board and go wherever his little heart wanted to. I don’t know why, but I kind of knew anytime he wanted to leave. It would come on as the familiar cold feeling backed with a sense of urgency. I would then gather the crew and tell them to be ready as I got out to the ship to make sure it was completely fueled. It had come to the point where, after we had landed on the main ship, I would order the ship be topped off and everything checked over, not wanting to be caught off guard. Only a couple of times I had missed my feelings and my com began to beep. It was when I was in the training rooms getting a workout in or if I was sleeping, and then, he would have a smirk when I finally showed up. I wanted to wipe that silly grin off of his face.  
We were leaving one of the star destroyers when Kylo Ren redirected our course to the blue planet we were above. He and General Hux argued about this recent change until I heard a familiar choking behind me. “We will land,” hearing through gritted teeth, “It’s been months and I need a certain kind of release, and unless you are willing to provide that release to me, you will stand down.” My face scrunched a little at the thought of what type of release he was talking about, “Go to landing forty five c.” He barked at me. I quickly sent the request to the appropriate site and followed the onscreen flight path.  
The planet was mostly covered in water. There were spots of land but nothing large enough to sustain life, and I steered us toward the only large rocky outcrop for miles. Several landing strips and pads were all around the outside edge and a small town in the center with a waterfall coming from the highest most point and it’s river meandering through the city and out into the vast ocean. Landing on one of the private landing pads, I saw through the red windshield, a two story, clay colored building with a black awning over top a set of doors. There was a heavy set man sitting on a stool outside with a girl dressed in white standing next to him wearing a collar and leash. To the left of the building was an open corridor heading into the main town and the right was a small alley. The name of the place was above in simple electronic screen flashing the name through many different languages. When it came around to basic it said The Black Velvet. As soon as the landing skids touched the ground, Kylo Ren stood up, “Consider this as leave. Be back here in four hours.” and he left.  
“We don’t need this right now. The resistance is building their numbers by the minute,” I heard the general grumble behind me before leaving, the sounds of storm troopers boot steps quickly followed Hux’s.  
“Every time it’s a different girl,” Ardak said as he powered down his side of the controls. I looked over to where Kylo Ren was walking toward and the heavy set man shook his hand before giving the other end of the leash to him. The girl kept her head down as they disappeared inside the building. The entrance also disappeared, leaving a smooth, clay building behind, “Our Supreme Leader has an interesting taste when it comes to sex.”  
“Oh my God,” I cupped my face with my hands, “Please stop. I don’t care about his sex life, nor do I want to imagine what he is doing.”  
He snickered, “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.” unbuckled his lap belt, he stood to leave.  
Should I go and leave the ship by itself, I thought? The storm troopers were out there standing guard and General Hux took a few of them with him into the town. Deciding that the ship would be safe, I powered down the engines and set the system to stand by.  
The town was quite busy even though it stood on a rock in the middle of nowhere. Creatures from all over the galaxy were there with selling crafts and food that lined a large circle in the middle of the town. More tan colored clay buildings were all about, and I had stopped just in time to see a few children run by, screaming happily as they chased each other. Following Ardak into a small room off to the side of the large courtyard, he led me to a small table in the back where a small alcove was. A waitress came by and he ordered some alcoholic drink I couldn’t pronounce if I tried and I just requested water, “Water? You can live a little you know.”  
“I like to have my wits about me when I fly.” I barked back at him, idling playing with the faded edges of the table in front of me.  
He crossed his arms and sat back, “You should relax sometime.”  
I huffed a little, also crossed my arms and sat back, “I do relax.”  
“Yeah, in your room. You need to come out to the common room.” he leaned forward, elbows resting on the table.  
I looked away, “I don’t like other people.” I flatly said.  
“That’s obvious,” he rolled his eyes, “But it would be nice if you came out to visit every once in a while. Some of the others keep asking about who you are, like I knew all the answers,” he quickly changed the subject, “So, how did you become the personal pilot for our Supreme Leader?”  
“Personal pilot? I just fly his shuttle.” I said, cocking my eyebrow at him, my arms still crossed in front of me.  
“You fly for him and just him right? I nodded, “He told you that you report only to him?” I nodded again, “You are his personal pilot,” he pointed his finger at me and sat back, “It doesn’t have to be that shuttle. If he feels like taking another shuttle, guess who pilot's that? I tilted my head back and let it hit the wall behind me, “So, how did you get selected? I know older and more experienced pilots who would almost kill to have a job like yours, but you got it fresh out of the academy”  
“I don’t know really. If I had to guess, I would say it’s because it my abilities and proven track record at school. Flying, shooting, navigating, even hand to hand combat,” I put my hands on the table, “I guess he was just impressed.”  
“Hmm,” he replied, leaning back as the waitress brought our drinks. He waved her off when she asked if they were eating, “So, are you with someone?” I gave him a quizzical look, “Like, are you together with someone?”  
“Like in a relationship?” he nodded, “No. Never had the interest or time.”  
“What do you mean?” he looked at me surprised and took a sip of his drink, “We have all the time in the world. Our mission run three, four hours at most then nothing. Most of our time is spent just either waiting or hanging around.”  
“Maybe I just don't find the guys I am around that attractive.” I shook my head, trying to redirect the conversation, “Where do you think the resistance is hiding?”  
He squinted his eyes at me, “Who knows. They are scattered throughout the galaxy.”  
The waitress came back with two glasses of brownish liquid, “Did you order?” I asked him.  
He was about to answer when two men stepped out from behind the waitress, their blasters fixed upon both of us, “Just our luck. Two First Order officers without their body guards.” They casually sat across from us, their guns still pointed at us.  
“Wow, they just let anyone in here,” Ardak said, squinting his eyes, “Even rebel scum like you. What a classy joint,”  
They just shrugged it off, “What ship did you to crawl out of? I didn’t see any official shuttles besides Rens.”  
“Then that mean he’s here.” the other man perked up, seemingly to realize that observation, “We could finish this war right here and right now. We would be heroes!” he looked at his partner excitedly.  
“With just the two of you?” I asked sarcastically, “You would be dead in seconds.”  
The man on the right chuckled “Who said it was just us, honey?” My face dropped at that remark, “We just arrived here with about a hundred of us. Being chased get’s kind of old so we all decided to take a small break and come here,” he looked to his partner, ”So let's see here,” I picked up one of the glasses with the brownish liquid in it as he continued, “It’s you two and Kylo Ren. He usually has several stormtroopers inside of that heap.”  
The other man began to look around “If he’s here then probably that Hux guy is here as well. He can’t go anywhere without his dog of a General. So you would have to add more troopers for his sorry ass as well.”  
They both looked back at us,“So at most ten of you here?”  
“Wow, you can count,” I leaned forward and motioned to the man on the left, “Come here,” I said leaning forward, crooking my finger, the glass still in my hand. He leaned forward, “You seem to be two smart men. Do you really think that Supreme Leader Kylo Ren would fall to a bunch of little bitches?” he looked confused, “Oops!” I said in a higher pitched voice. Dropping the glass the two rebels quickly looked down as the glass shattered on the table and lowered their guard. Before they could register what happened, I reared back and hit the one closest to me on his nose, the sound of it breaking brought a smile to my face. Ardak, taking the hint, took that time to grab our side of the table and flipped it blocking the two men, letting us have just enough time to run around and away from the table.  
We reached outside in time to see a large group of rebels rushing toward the tavern. On an instinct, I ran left. I didn’t see which way my partner went but all I knew was that I needed to get back to the ship. Running all the while dodging different merchants and jumping over small obstacles, I was determined to get back to the ship, hoping that Kylo Ren heard about what was going on and already boarded. I cursed as my flat bottomed uniform shoes slid as I took corner after corner. I was about to take one corner when a blaster bolt whizzed past my head and hit the wall next to me. Taking a quick glance back, I and saw about five of them chasing after me and I raced down a small set of stairs. A few seconds later and several missed blaster bolts, one of their shots hit their mark. I gave out a small scream when it sliced into the upper part of my right arm and the smell of burning clothes and a bit of flesh infiltrated my nostrils. Taking another turn, I pressed my self against the wall. Breathing quite heavily, I looked down and saw blood seeping into my uniform. Whispering out a curse word and clutching my arm, I had to run again because the noise of the crew was getting louder and louder  
Taking off at a sprint , my com on my wrist began to beep. General Hux’s voice came through the air, “Captain Kardell, where are you?” I could hear blasters going off in the distance.  
“Sir,” I shouted through labored breathing while running, “I got caught up with some rebels.”  
I could hear exasperation in his voice “Well, we are cut off from the shuttle. The Supreme Leader isn’t here and he isn’t answering his com. Lieutenant Ardak is here and we have commandeered another ship. You need to get the Supreme Leader back to the Finalizer. There is a rebel fleet there and they are attacking my ship!”  
“Yes, Sir. I’ll find him.” Another blaster bolt shot next to my foot. Picking up the pace a bit, I saw a small wall coming up. I never slowed down as I reached the wall and leaped over it, but as I was expecting another road, I was met with a one story fall into a river. As soon as I hit, I almost inhaled water because shock of the cold water was almost too much. I resurfaced just in time to see the group looking over the edge before I disappear under a stone bridge.  
Sputtering and treaded water for a few moments, I began to swim toward the edge. Climbing up, I noticed that I was in a small alley and at the end I could see a small glimpse of the shuttle. The pain from my arm was starting to throb, and I clutched it as I went into a job. I had to find an entrance to whatever type of establishment, he was in, silently praying that when I do find him, that he had his clothes on.  
Small little doors and windows lined and I dodged a few people coming in and out of various buildings. After saying sorry to one old looking lady that I knocked over, I turned to help her up when at the other end of the alley, a group of people shouted, “There she is!” I cursed and left the fallen woman. Turning to my right, I quickly stopped just inside another hallway pressing my back against the wall, trying to calm my breathing. As I heard them coming closer, I scooted along the wall, my hand feeling out for any place I could hide. Just then, I fell backwards.Bracing myself for a fall, I hit the ground, After taking a few breaths, I opened my eyes. It seemed like another tavern but darker, with less people and a few doors beside the bar. The bartender and the two people sitting at the bar stopped and looked over at me.  
“Hey!” a gruff voice called out from my right, “You can’t be here!” Sitting up on my elbows, I looked up saw a slug type of creature staring down at me, “How did you get in here?”  
Picking myself up, clutching my arm and hearing my shoes squish from the water, I never letting the slug thing leave my gaze “I am Captain Septa Kardell, an officer in the Imperial Navy. I need to find Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and get him out of this town,” I looked around, ”Where am I any way?” I looked over at the bar again and this time, a girl dressed all in white was standing off to the side, with a collar on and it was tied with a leash at the end of the bar, ”Oh no,” I whispered. I found the brothel.  
“We can’t disclose who is here or who isn’t. Now leave,” he started to slime his way over to me.  
Quickly, I turned my head back to him, “You will tell me where he is. Or would you like to explain why you didn’t warn him that rebels are outside, almost knocking at your door? Is that something you would be willing to do?” I could see his eyes go wide, “Now, just point to where he is. Now!” He pointed to the black door at the end, “Thank you.” I became well aware of me being soaked because the atmosphere inside was set to cold and the water into my uniform was starting to chill. Marching toward the door, I was stopped when there was a commotion going on down a hallway. I could tell it was the men who were chasing me so I made a mad dash to the door. Reaching the door handle as soon as they poured out into the main room, I looked behind me as I burst into the room. Slamming the door and locking it, I took a few calming breaths while leaning against the door. Turning around, my breath caught in my throat.  
There in the middle of the well lit room sat Kylo Ren. But that wasn’t the most shocking. The slave girl he led inside had her hands tied together in front and was laying face down across his lap. His hand was still raised high in the air, frozen, his gloves were off and her perfect smooth skin of her buttock were a bright red. Perfect skin. I was entranced on this slave girls skin. Not a mark on her as women should always have perfect skin. A voice in the back of my mind from years ago started to talk. I don’t have perfect skin that meant I was not a woman. Tools and weapons have marks. I was just a tool. That was all I could think of as the pair stared at me, her eyes filled with tears. It wasn’t the fact that he was spanking the naked girl so hard, making her cry, it was the perfect smooth skin. That was all I could focus on.  
A banging on the door brought me out of my trance and I knew I looked like a wet rat with blood going down my arm. I stood at attention and decided that the ceiling was now the most interesting thing in the room, “Sir,” I firmly stated, settling my nerves “This town has become overrun with rebels. General Hux and the others were cut off from the shuttle and they have evacuated with another ship. A fleet is outside of the Finalizer and is in full attack mode. We need to leave.”  
Shouts just outside of the door could be heard as I waited for his response. I heard muffled whimpers and clothing being moved before he spoke up, “How many?” I looked back to where he was down and thank goodness the girl was dressed again. He had just put on his cloak and stood.  
“The two that I had encountered said that there about a hundred of them here.” The other side of the door grew quiet.  
He stepped closer to me and looked at my sorry state, “What happened to you?”  
“I went for a swim,, Sir,” I turned and unlocked the door. Slowly opening it, I peeked out and saw that the place was deserted. I began to walk toward where I had fallen in, but my arm was grabbed.  
Kylo Ren held me back, “This way,” he said. I followed him past the room we were just in and down a small hallway. Reaching the end, he slowly opened the door and cautiously looked outside. Motioning me to follow, we ventured back outside and the door led us out to some sort of courtyard. With long purposeful strides, he began to walk to the other side, and I had to go into a slow jog to keep up. He turned a few corners and we were suddenly in front of the shuttle. Putting on more speed, we quickly began to jog to the shuttle.  
That is when everything started to go downhill. A large explosion went off just feet in front of us and it sent both us and rocks flying backwards. When I came around a few minutes later, the first thing I heard was a loud ringing in my ears from the explosion. I slowly opened my eyes and could see the dust settling around me. Laying on my right side, looking at the sand color buildings that were around the landing pad, I wiggled my fingers and toes a bit and was relieved that I wasn’t paralyzed. A drop of something went past my eye and landed on my nose. Looking at it, I realize that it was red. Great. Another place where I was bleeding. Thinking about the blast to my arm, I could now feel the pain of it creeping in and the ringing was slowly morphing into the sound of water splashing. There was no screaming or blaster shots that would indicate anyone else around.  
I agonizingly lifted myself up till I was in a kneeling position, my hands resting on my knees. With my left hand I brought it up and checked where the blood came from. There was a deep cut in my hair that was slowly oozing blood. Looking down, pieces of my uniform was torn and some places had blood soaking in. Then it hit me. The rebels. The Shuttle. Kylo Ren. My eyes widen and looked around and even though he was currently the bane of my existence, I had a job and a duty to the First Order. He was laying on his stomach about three feet to the left of me, not moving. I crawled over to where he was, putting my hand on his back and thank goodness, I could feel his back moving with every breath he was taking. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he had died. Sitting back again, I looked over to where the shuttle was. It was still there, the ramp still lowered but there were a few sparks coming from the back of it. I wonder what type of damage those assholes made.  
I tried to shake him away but it was no use. Turning him on to his back, I could tell that he too was bleeding from his head and rivers of blood had dripped down his face. “OK, big guy,” I whispered to him, “We need to get out of here,” Hooking both of my arms under his pits and on shaking legs, I began to stand. A lot of my energy had been zapped away but I had the ability to muster up the energy to stand and I began to drag him toward the ship, slowly. I managed to drag him all the way to the ramp and reaching out with my foot, hit the hidden button that would raise the platform. As soon as it hissed closed, I fell backwards, the Supreme Leader’s head resting on my stomach. With a push, I managed to roll him off of my legs onto his side. I laid back for a minute, just trying to catch my breath and take stock of the situation.  
Kylo Ren was knocked unconscious and bleeding. The Finalizer was coming under attack. We were attacked. The shuttle was damaged but I don’t know in what way.  
Sitting up, crawled a few feet to my right where I knew a small medical kit was. Getting the bacta gel and a few gauze pads, I went back to Ren’s form, pushed him onto his back, and dressed the wound on his head. Smearing the bluish gel into his hair, I looked at his face. Despite some dirt smudges and dried specks of blood, he really did have a handsome face when it was relaxed. But most of the time, it was in a sneer or angry scowl, mostly directed at me. Shaking away those thoughts, I gathered myself up and headed toward the bridge. Finally getting into my seat, I could see the on board com blinking furiously at me. Hitting the button, “Captain Kardell,” I croaked out.  
General Hux’s figured appeared, “Where the hell have you been? The Supreme Leader should have been back by now!”  
“Sorry, Sir. We were just about to leave when part of the landing pad exploded. I am preparing to leave now.” I flicked a few buttons and touched the smooth glass in front of me, starting the engines.  
“No time. We are about to jump into hyperspace. I will send you the coordinates of where we are going.” and he cut out. Great. The co pilot's side sprang to life, receiving the ordered from Hux. Getting up, I went over and hit a few touch screen buttons before going back and with the engines coming online I wasted no time on lifting off and heading off of the platform and up. I had just cleared the atmosphere to see a full blown battle going on and I saw one of the small star destroyers exploding before the Finalizer glowing a brite white and disappearing. A few seconds later the rebel fleet did the same but in a different direction. Touching the right buttons on the glass to send us off to where the fleet was going, the stars began to elongate and I sat back to relax while the ship automatically went into auto pilot.  
Then a few warnings lights came onscreen and the stars went back to the original specks in the sky. I could also hear the engines giving out a whining sound before a loud knocking could be heard. “What the hell!” I shouted, trying to figure out what happened and how to fix it. The whole ship suddenly started to list to the left and grabbing the controls, I wrestled with them to keep the ship upright. Knowing I had to land this stupid thing and figure out what the hell happened, I looked out and luckily with the small jump the ship did, there was a planet right beneath us. It was a small red planet with streaks of green and blue. The shuttle started to shake as I entered the atmosphere.  
I landed the ship at the edge of a forest with a lake in the middle with the red terrain surrounding us. After the landing skids made their adjustments on the uneven forest floor, I turned off almost everything except for the back up power, and sat back in my seat, my breath starting to even out. Touching a symbol on the glass, the red windshield melted away to a clear view of what was outside. I wiped my hand down my face when I felt something dried and crusty covering on my forehead. The blood must have coagulated and dried. Looking down at my still wet and torn uniform jacket, I unbuttoned the stupid thing and let it fall onto the ground, hissing as the sleeve moved against the wound in my arm. My white long sleeved undershirt was soaking wet with small rips, diluted blood stains, and dirt. Pressing my hand against my arm, I tried not to think about it as I went down below.  
Going down the steps, I saw that Kylo Ren was still in the same position I had left him. Carefully, I stepped around his prone form, hit the red blinking button next to the door, and the ramp lowered. I was met with a pleasant breeze burst of fresh air hit me. Cautiously I stepped out, making sure that there wasn’t a murderous creature out. Making my way to the back of the shuttle, I saw a panel that was hanging down. Looking in, there was a large cavity and I could see sparks reflecting from somewhere inside. Putting my hands on the edge of the cavity, I hoisted myself up where my torso was just inside and my legs were dangling out and was met with a mess of unplugged wires. I sighed and got to work untangling the mess.  
I don’t know how long I was in there. Trying to get the mass of wires untangled seemed to take forever and I had started to finally plug them into their color coded ports when, “What happened?” a questionable but stern voice said behind me.  
I let out a small yelp and looked over my shoulder. Kylo Ren was there, his chest almost touching my rear as he looked at me, “Uhm,” I started, “We had an incident and we couldn’t go into hyper drive. It seems as though something was in here just unplugging things. I’m just trying to put everything back,” I answered, turning back to the task at hand.  
He looked around at the jumbled mess then back to me, “OK. Don’t be too long. A sandstorm is approaching,”  
“What?” turning around, but he was gone. I began to work faster this time, wanting to leave and not get caught in this sand storm.  
I had just plugged in the last wire and the whole ship gave out a solid hum. Pushing backwards I lowered myself and hopped own. Unfortunately, the time I spent in that cavity made my legs weak so when I let go, my legs gave out and I landed in a heap. Getting up in a sitting position, I was met with the sight of a big, red could that was just feet away. Scrambling to my fee, I tried my best to run for the ramp. My legs felt like jello and I had just stepped onto the platform when the sandstorm hit. It felt like I was getting hit my a thousand shards of glass at once and I stumbled the few feet up the ramp and hit the button, saving me from the storm. Knowing my limits of my energy, I knew I didn’t have much longer so I somehow made it to the stair that led to the bridge. Hurrying over to the console, I powered up the engines.  
The storm was so bad that I couldn’t see the beautiful trees or lake anymore. I piloted the craft up and made our way through the storm. The wind rocked the ship back and forth and it was so large that when I finally cleared it, I was leaving the atmosphere. Setting up the main computer to take over and send us to our destination, I noticed Kylo was sitting in the co pilot's chair, seeming to be looking over some things. Feeling myself starting to slip into darkness, my shaking hands touched the go for it button and the stars began to make their familiar tube shape before the ship launched into hyper drive. I smiled at the blue swirling tube and sat back, my head resting against the back of my chair. My Adrenalin faded and I became hyper aware of the pain in my arm. Clutching the wound, I vaguely heard the Supreme Leader talking to me. I turned my head and he was staring at me, his mouth was moving but no words were coming out of his mouth. The last thing I saw was me falling sideways and Kylo Ren standing up before I let the darkness take me away.


	3. Chapter 3

When I finally awoke, I was in a dimly lit room with a faint and consistent beeping next to my right ear. I went to bring my hand up to rub my eyes, but was met with some resistance and a dull thunk. Blinking to get my eye sight in focus, I stared at myself in the reflection. Squinting to read the lines of information, I realized I was in a dome that the med bay uses to monitor patients. The lower right showed my vital signs while the left just stated the time and date. It read the next day but it was 0210. Letting out a small sigh, I lifted my arms to move the bubble and cringed when I felt pain going through my right arm. The events of yesterday coming to the forefront of my mind. So using my left, I shoved the piece out of the way and took my time sitting up. Every muscle screamed in protest as I swung my legs around to dangle on the side of the bed. Gently, I slid off the bed and placed my bare feet on the cold metal floor. Looking down, I was thankful that someone or android dressed me in long sleeved white medical gown..  
Not wanting to be in here any longer, I limped my way over to the only door and opened it. But before I could leave, a rolling droid unit blocked my way, “Please, get back in your bed,” the metallic male voice said, “You need to finish healing.” It began to bump into me, corralling me back inside.  
“No way. I need to get back.” I quickly stepped around it and back out into the hallway. Very annoyed beeps were coming from behind me now, but I didn’t care. I just limped down the hall, my bare feet padding toward the exit door. No time to rest and heal, I had to get back to work.  
Exiting the medical ward, I leaned against the wall for support as I made my way to the elevators and entering the next empty vessel. Hitting the button, I placed a hand on the wall and bent slightly forward. The effort it took to walk the distance from the room to the elevator took a lot out of me. Thankfully the elevator took me directly to the doors where we pilot's were housed. Not bothering to look around, as I knew most of the crew was sleeping, I padded to the main entrance and entered. It was eerily quiet. Usually I could have heard the shouts of the others coming from the common room but as I passed by, it was empty.   
Finally making it to my room, I leaned against the door frame as it opened. When it finally closed, I leaned against the door, I closed my eyes, and brought my left hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose. A headache was starting to form and hoping that a shower would cure it, I headed toward my bedroom door. I only took a few steps when, “I hope your reason for being out of the infirmary will be a good one?” My heart raced about a million times a minute when I heard a cold, familiar voice coming from my left. I slowly turned and my eyes grew wide at what I saw. Kylo Ren was sitting at my small table, his arms crossed in front of his chest and staring right at me. At that moment, I felt like a child and I looked at the ground. I hugged my stomach trying to hide my shaking hands, “Well? I do expect an answer.” this time his voice was more demanding.  
I reached up and moved some hair from out of my face, “I...” stammering, “I felt that I am ready to get back to work,” answering.  
“Back to work? Less than twenty four hours after what had happened?” He stood, arms still crossed and slowly taking steps toward me, “You’re a bad liar.” He rounded the corner of the couch and I involuntarily took a step back. Apparently that was a mistake, “Don’t step away from me. Only cowards do that. Are you a coward?”  
I immediately looked up and he was about two feet away from me, arms still crossed, “No, Sir.” I replied, weakly.  
“I didn’t hear you.” he said in a lower tone.  
“No, Sir,” I said a bit louder. That seemed to please him.  
Kylo Ren stood in front of me and I couldn’t help but let a shiver run through my body. It felt like forever before he spoke, “We can do this one of two ways,” he said softly, “You can turn around and go back to the medical ward and back into bed or I will personally take you there,” he leaned down to my eye level and his voice dropped in volume but the same intensity was still there, “If I take you, I will strap you to the bed and will be released when the doctor says you are healed. Your choice.”  
My breathing started to pick up and a slight dizziness started to creep in. Do I even have enough energy to make it back? Was he serious about strapping me to the bed? Picking, “I’ll.. I’ll walk back, Sir,” My voice came out more of a whisper than what I had intended. He stepped aside to let me walk by and I only made it one step before my legs decided to fold under me. Bringing up my hands, I closed my eyes, bracing for impact but was stopped by an arm around my stomach and another across the upper part of my chest.  
“Looks like I’ll be carrying you,” and a few moments later, I was being cradled, bridal style, by the Supreme Leader.  
“Sir, you can just call a droid,” I exclaimed, going stiff.  
“I carried you off the shuttle and onto that bed, I can do it again.” Then we were out into the hanger area. A few stormtroopers were marching by but none stopped to see me being carried.  
In my mind, I was having a small panic attack. My body was shaking as he made great strides to get to the elevator. Internally, I was battling my demons and training. Anytime someone touched me for too long, I would lash out and want to kill. But I couldn’t do it. This man would destroy me instantly before I could do anything. I wiggled a bit more, “Relax,” he whispered in my ear as he stepped into the elevator.  
It was a quiet ride and I was breathing slowly, trying to calm my heart and my body. I could feel warmth seeping from his chest. A calming warmth. Opening my eyes, I looked at the mass of black cloth I was leaning against and felt how soft the folds of his uniform were. My body began to calm and my eyes were beginning to droop. Relaxing more, I felt him holding my body tighter and before I knew it, I rested my head fully on his chest and fell asleep.

About three days later, the doctor gave me a full discharge and before I left, I changed into my uniform someone left in a chair next to the bed. Walking down the hallway, I circled my shoulder a few times, trying to work out the muscle kink that I had received on the uncomfortable hospital bed. The elevator opened and I saw Kylo Ren there. He looked down at me, with his hands clasped in front of him. He stepped aside and I stepped in, hitting the hanger button. The doors closed and I stood there, motionless, my face going slightly red from the memory of him carrying me like a child. “I trust you were released in full health?” he asked.  
“Yes, Sir. He wants me back in a few days to make sure the wound is healing properly.”  
“Good. I need to discuss with you some changes I would like to see and get your opinion on them,” he asked.  
The doors opened and we entered the bay. Normally I would have jog to keep up with his pace but realized that he slowed down to my speed. We got to the shuttle and up the ramp when he began to talk about the different additions and parts that he would like to see gone. We discussed about adding supplies to the ship, different weapon upgrades, and shield upgrades. I was also astonished when he mentioned that he designed the shuttle.  
We didn’t talk for that long so when I said I’ll get the work going immediately, I was slightly surprised when he turned around and gave me a tiniest hint of a smile. As he passed by to leave, he patted my right shoulder, said good, and left. His hand felt heavy when he did that and a small, warm feeling began to grow in the pit of my stomach but quickly, I squashed it down.   
After giving the orders to the mechanics, I began to head to my room in order to order the more specialty items needed.   
It was the first Kylo Ren ever spoken to me without contempt dripping from his voice He never made mention about the what happened over a few days ago, or about the explosion, or me fainting after I got the engines working. The thought of how I ran into the room to inform him about the attack came to the forefront of my mind. A perfect skin female, small breasts and hips, laying across his lap and her perfect rear, her rear in the air as he spanked her. The only blemish on her skin was the redness and hand prints. I shook my head to clear it but it only helped to bring forth another memory.   
It was the night I left the medical ward early and he caught me in my room. I felt embarrassed that he saw me in my weakest moment, and the way he talked to me made me feel like a chastised child. Then when he said that if he had to carry me and tie me to the bed, my eye twitched a little. For a moment, it felt like he actually cared. That warm feeling began to creep up again. I stopped, clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes, trying to get that feeling to go away. No one cares about you, that inner voice from my training spoke to me. You are just a tool. A weapon. You will never know that feeling or even the feeling of love. No one ever loves a thing.  
I was woken from my inner ranting when my co pilot called out my name, “Kardell!” I turned around and he was walking quickly toward me, “You’re finally out! How are you feeling?” he looked at me up and down.  
“My shoulder is a little sore but it’s alright.” I shrugged.  
“I’m glad you were able to make it out of there. I got worried when you didn’t show up after us and Hux told us we couldn’t wait and had to get out of there.”  
“When did we get back?”  
“It was about three hours after us. We all came out to see what happened. Uhm, I have to ask,” he lowered his voice into a whisper, “Why was Kylo Ren carrying you and what happened to make you bleed all over the place and soaking wet?”  
My face began to get red at that night he carried me back, “Well, after we split up, I was chased by a group of them. I went to and leap over a short wall but the other side was a small river. After getting out, I was chased again but they shot me in my arm. I found our Supreme Leader, told him what was happening and we ran to the ship,” I began to walk, Ardak falling in line with me, “That’s when the ground exploded in front of us.” I stopped for a moment to think about it, “He was still unconscious when I got up so I dragged him back to the shuttle and we left. That’s when General Hux sent us the coordinates of where they were going. The problem was that the shuttle jumped for a second before failing. After I landed the stupid thing, I fixed wires that were pulled loose, we launched and the next thing I knew, I passed out,”   
“Wow,” he said, stopping at the common room, “But that doesn't explain why he carried you. The medical personnel were waiting with a stretcher but he wouldn't let anyone near.”  
I blushed again, “Yeah, I don't know about that one. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get started on the modifications,” he nodded and I passed by to go straight to my room.

It took about a month before the necessary modifications were completed. After triple checking, making sure everything was installed correctly and in working order, I stopped a droid and asked where the Supreme Leader was. It informed me that he was on the bridge before beeping away. I haven’t seen him since our talk about the ship a month ago and a part of me kind of missed the small but pleasant interaction we had.  
The elevator took me quickly to where the bridge was and before it stopped, I stood up straight, ran my hands down my uniform to make sure it was smooth and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. It opened and I stepped out in the massive bridge. Two black clad stormtroopers stood at the entrance and didn’t move as I stepped by. The entire area was massive. A smooth black reflective walkway stretched out from the sides and went around to the front. Several officers were walking along, stopping to talk to a worker who was below the floor level. The massive viewing glass went all off the 180 degree space of the semi circle room. In front was another walkway but it was twice as wide as the others. In the middle, between the glass and myself, General Hux and Kylo Ren were standing side by side.   
Taking a deep breath, I walked forward, with a purposeful step and some of the workers glanced up as they had never seen me before. It wasn’t surprising. It’s such a big ship and everyone was mostly separated. I stopped a few feet behind the pair and Hux turned his head. That make Kylo Ren also turn. “Yes, Captain Kardell?” Hux said in a slightly annoyed tone, not turning his body around.  
“I came to inform the Supreme Leader that his shuttle’s modifications have been completed and is ready for the final inspection,” I flatly said.  
He almost waved me away until Kylo interrupted him, “Very good. I am anxious to see what has been completed. We will talk later General,” and walked back to the elevator. Hux gave me a sneer before I excused myself and jogged to catch up. We entered in the elevator and when the doors closed he turned fully to me, “Are you alright?”  
“Sir?” I looked up at him.  
“Are you fully healed?”  
“Oh. Yes. I have full rotation of my arm again, Sir” I moved my arm a bit.  
“Good. I need my pilot to be in her best health.” The doors opened as we both walked out.   
It didn’t take long for the final inspection. Five minutes at most. I felt that he didn’t spend enough time but after telling me good job and leaving, I didn’t want to bring it up.

There wasn’t much going on over the next few months. We were back with small missions to to the other star destroyers, meeting with other planet leaders to make sure their loyalty lies with the First Order and squashing a few attempts by the rebels to attack us. All of those time, I still felt the coldness wash over me whenever he wanted to leave. But the deadliness about it had faded away. The coldness would intensify if there was an urgency or just be a passing when it was casual.  
We were docked on a star destroyer for a routine check and as I was sitting in my seat on the shuttle looking through the viewer with my copilot looking at his data pad and laughing when the whole ship took a violent shake began to list to the left. He dropped his pad and I quickly braced myself, not hitting the ground. Outside, workers, storm troopers and officers were getting up from the ground and an alarm noise began to blare through the main ship, echoing through our sitting area, “What the hell was that?” he asked. I shrugged. Just then, a fleet of tie fighter pilot's began flooding the hanger and one by one, they all launched out into space. One in particular was a modified tie, its side wings elongated in front of it coming to a point. That was Kylo Ren's tie, the Silencer. I didn’t even know it was docked at this particular ship and I watch with a bit of sadness as he left and joined the battle that was going on outside.  
We both sprang into action, powering on the main engines, preparing for launch, and waited for the go ahead from the main bridge. I called repeatedly but there was no answer. Switching through the com links Kylo Ren’s voice crackled through the speaker, “Captain, as soon as Hux gets on board, leave for the Finalizer.” I didn’t have the chance to respond when his com cut off.  
Just then Hux and the officers that were aboard earlier came running through the hanger and toward the ship, “Get ready when they board. We need to leave.” He nodded and began his preps for take off.  
General Hux burst into the cockpit, huffing for breath, “Leave now!” He screamed. I didn’t hesitate and flew the ship out. Immediately, we were fired upon. The shields deflected but it was enough to knock the general to the ground.  
I tapped a few lit up screen in front of me then grabbed the controls to do a small dive to avoid another blast. All around, ships were firing and exploding around us, the General was shouting to get back to the ship, and I was concentrating on not getting hit by flying debris.  
It was then that I had a strange feeling. I knew the feeling of coldness but this was neither cold or warm. It felt like danger. Imminent and urgent danger. It swirled inside of me, a sense of something or someone in jeopardy. Looking all around me, ships were exploding, their remains made flight troublesome, and the Finalizer seemed so far off. Then it hit me.That feeling I was getting intensified when I spotted his ship, Kylo Ren’s, being ambushed by a part of the rebel fleet. Conflict ensued. One one hand, he directly ordered me to take the shuttle back to the ship. But the other was that I knew he was in danger. Not seeing any other tie’s around him to provide cover, I knew what I had to do. Adrenalin began to flood my body, “General, If you please, take a seat and strap in.” I touched more buttons in front of me.  
“What are you doing,” me co pilot whispered as he saw his controls go dark.  
“Saving the First Order and our Supreme Leader. Please, you strap in as well.” I flicked a switch to my right and I gained full control of the shuttle.  
Beginning to bank away from our destination, “What are you doing? Get back to the Finalizer. That’s an order!” Hux barked at me, his head next to mine.  
“Sorry, Sir, I take orders and report to Kylo Ren. So please, for your safety, hold on.” and jerked the controls to where I had last seen his ship. As I jerked, pulled, and shot my way through, my heart was beating faster and faster and the he blood pumping through the vessels in my ears drowned out the the protesting shouts of the General. Dogging a few stray blaster bolts and debris, I fired upon a an x-wing, disabling their engines and continued, the feeling inside growing and growing as I got closer. As soon as I cleared one of their cargo shuttles, I saw him. The Supreme Leader had about five x-wings on his tail and was trying to shake them off through other tie fighters and debris. I clenched my teeth and began shooting at the trailing fighter, it exploding and I flew through the rubble ready to attack the next one.   
It was an exhilarating experience, chasing and shooting these ships out of my way. I thought back to the simulators back at the academy and everything felt so natural. Every single shot I took, hit it’s mark and I flew right through the explosion and on to the next until there was one left. He must have noticed me as he suddenly broke off and flew under the Silencer, trying to get away. Pouring on the speed, I passed Kylo Ren a few feet above him and pursued the escaping ship. Nothing else seemed to matter at this point.   
He tried to shake me but I was closing in on him. In and out of space debris we flew and I vaguely heard my copilot and Hux shouting at me. “WHAT!” I screamed at them, angry that they were interrupting the chase I was on.  
“The Supreme Leader is calling you!” they both shouted back.   
That shook myself out of the trance I was in. Pulling back, I let the fighter go and watched as he joined his others, landed in one of their main ships and disappear as they jumped to hyperspace. The rush was gone and all that was left was the silence in the cabin and a consistent buzzing coming from the console in front of me. I breathed a few times to calm myself and touched the com button, “Yes, Sir?”   
“Captain. The Finalizer. NOW!” he bellowed before turning off.  
I sighed and was about to turn back when Hux grabbed my upper arm and pulled me to my feet. Out of instinct, I took off my knife and had it hovering at his stomach. Time stood still as we stood there and he looked down at the knife and back to me, anger in his eyes. It was then I realized what I had done. Pulling the knife back, he still had a grip on my upper arm, “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean to..”  
I was cut off, “Give that to me,” he said through his teeth and held out his other hand. Placing my weapon on his palm, he called for a trooper, “You dare to threaten a superior officer?” A stormtrooper appeared behind him, “First, you disobey a direct order and put everyone's life on this ship in danger. Then you pull a weapon on me,” he turned his head to address the soldier, “Cuff her and take her below,” Hux turned back to me, “You will be dealt with severely when we get back. Consider your career to be over,” The trooper stepped forward and Hux threw me toward him. The cuffs were then placed behind my back and was roughly led down the stairs and almost thrown into an empty seat. He then stood in front of me, and moved no more.   
The flight back didn’t take too long and I sat there, staring at the floor. It gave me a chance to think about what had happened. Yes, I ignored an order but I couldn’t ignore my gut feeling I couldn’t just leave him out there. And now, as I sat there contemplating, I figured I’ll be court martial, sent off the ship and away from flying to live my days out at a prison camp or killed. I smirked as I thought it was worth it.  
I felt us land and Hux came down, glared at me and stepped toward the lowering ramp. The trooper hauled me to my feet and marched me directly behind the General. Taking a quick glance around and noticed that the Silencer had already landed and the hatch was open. Hux was walking quickly and the trooper next to me was almost dragging me to keep up but then abruptly stopped, “Your little pilot nearly got us killed and she threatened me with a knife” he nearly yelled. I kept my head high and tried to glare a hole in his back.  
“Where is she?” I heard the response and I clenched my fists, trying to fight the slight lining of tears that were forming in my eyes.  
“What does it matter? She will be dealt with swiftly. I don’t really care if you are the Supreme Leader. Threatening a superior officer with a weapon and defying orders are punishable by death. Now if you excuse me, Ren, I have paperwork to fill out,” I had to admire the man a little. He did have balls when it came to speaking with Kylo Ren.  
“She reports directly to me and I will deal with what she did. Now where is she?” Kylo Ren said with a more demanding voice, one that commands attention.  
Hux huffed for a second before turning around, grabbing my upper arm and flung me at him. Kylo quickly grabbed my shoulder as I was about to crash into him and squeeze tightly, “Fine, Ren. I trust that she will be properly disciplined and handled,” he said and before walking away, Hux gave Kylo the knife, and stormed off, troopers following after him. It took me a moment before I cautiously looked up and he was staring back at me, fury evident in his eyes. In a swift movement, he had me by my upper arm and was and dragged me off to an awaiting elevator. He yanked me into an the pod and the door slammed shut. He punched a button and we were off. I strained my hands a bit, trying to figure out of there was a way I could escape them but it was useless. He stood sideways in front of me, head bowed, a curtain of sweat drenched hair covering part of his face. The leather of his gloves creaked as he clenched and unclenched his fists and his breathing was ragged. Then he slowly turned his face toward me. “Tell me one thing,” he harshly whispered. My eyes grew wide as I saw the displeasure in his face, “How?”  
Stunned, I choked on my words, “What... do you mean?”  
Fully turning toward me and I almost stepped back before his words of not backing away a few months ago popped up, “How did you know exactly where I was? How do you know exactly when I want to leave?” He was all but yelling.  
At this point, I was shaking, “I.. don’t know, Sir.” I said but it sounded like a whimper, “I just get a feeling that’s all.”  
“A feeling.” he half mocked, “OK. Then why did you feel that you needed to disobey a direct order?” he put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back against the wall, “You decided to put a shuttle full of people in danger. Yourself in danger. And then, pull a knife on another officer?” he stepped closer, and I was mere inches away from his chest. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the look of disappointment across his face. He put a lot of trust in me and I let him down, “Look at me.” he said firmly. Slowly, I raised my head and I held my breath as I saw him giving me a very harsh look, “You like to fight? Like to show off..,”  
“I don’t show off!” I shouted, interrupting him and the pod grew deathly quiet. I clamored to apologize, “Sir, I’m so sorry..:”  
“Shut Up.” he said softly. Then he put his finger in my face, his other hand still on my arm in what felt like a death grip, “Don’t ever interrupt me,” I bit my lower lip and nodded, “You like to fight and show off. You seemed very adept in fighting at the academy. I’m curious on how well your fighting skills are,” The elevator stopped and the doors opened to the training level. He grabbed my arm again and we walked, a little slower this time, down to the end of the hall. Punching in a code, the black door opened up to a large black room. There was a red eerie glow that came from lights that were on the ground around the perimeter. Ren then shoved me inside and I tripped over my own feet. I tried to twist a little just so I wouldn’t hit my face and I winced in pain as my right shoulder connected the floor. He came over and helped me up, noticing that he was a bit more gentle. He shut the door and the light turned from a red to a white, gradually.   
I got a good look at the room. It was in a large square. No windows and only one door. Next to the door was some vertical rack filled with different lengths of what looked like rods. Coming back over to me, Ren grabbed onto the cuffs and jerked it up a little, causing me to lean forward a bit, “Now let’s see what you got,” He took the cuffs off and I didn’t get a chance to even rub my wrists before a rod was thrown at me. I caught it and that was then I felt that it was made of wood and was thin. He picked up a similar one, twirling it around a bit, and before I knew it, he was charging at me, his weapon raised to strike. Instinctively, I brought mine up to block and pivoted away.  
He did this for a while. Ren would charged and I blocked, our violent dance going around the entire room. The sound of wood being hit and grunts echoed through the area and we were both sweating bullets and breathing heavy. I knew I had to try to get the upper hand if I’m going to at least get a little break. Then he came down hard which made me bend a bit but that gave me the opportunity to swipe my foot around and catch his ankle, sending him to the floor. Taking this as a small break, I had my weapon held in front as I backed away, breathing heavy and wiping the sweat from my face. It was getting more and more difficult to fight with my uniform on, but I couldn’t take it off.  
I kept my eyes on him the entire time as he got to his feet, shaking his head to get hair away from his eyes, “I’m impressed,” he said, walking back over to the rack. I stayed where I was. I didn’t know if he was going to turn and charge again. Putting his weapon back I began to walk toward him, thinking we were done. But it wasn’t so. Ren picked up another longer rod and turned toward me, “Come on then,” he said with outstretched arms.  
He wanted me to attack. But I couldn’t. He was our leader and the most powerful man in this galaxy, “I can’t, Sir.” I responded but still having my own weapon at the ready.  
“Are you kidding?” he snickered, walking around me. I side stepped, keeping him in my full sights, “You had no problem flying, in my ship, attacking those rebel fighters, and almost attacking Hux. So, attack me!” I shook my head. There was no way. All my training screamed at me that I couldn’t. I can’t attack my owner. I must protect my owner, not kill. Owner? But he isn’t my owner. In the brief second that I had let my guard down, Ren took advantage, came around me and whacked his weapon across the mid part of my back. I cried out in pain and dropped to my hands and knees. I stared at the floor, panting as the pain from the hit went through my body, “Get up.” he said above me. I looked to my right and could see his shoes a foot away. I sat back on my knees arching my back because of the pain and that’s when he brought his weapon down and it contacted diagonally across my chest. Curling inward, I nearly dropped my weapon as I hunched over, clutching my chest. It hurt, bad. He crouched down in front of me, “I guess you’re not as strong as I thought you would be. You are just as weak and pathetic as...” he was cut off by my fist contacting the left side of his face. He landed backward on his rear and I quickly stood up and brought down my own weapon. He dodge just as the rod hit the floor right next to his face.  
I didn’t know what came over me. I attacked with fury, every swing trying to reach its mark but was blocked. I could only think of destroying my opponent. I no longer saw Kylo Ren. I saw an enemy as I had been taught to do and needed to be eradicated. But in the end, I did make one fatal mistake. As I went to make an upswing, he anticipated the move, dodged around me and swung his weapon, making contact from the top of my left butt down across to my right thigh. I arched my back and I tried to swing my weapon around to catch something, but his rod came down across the top part of my right hand. Screaming, I dropped the weapon and clutching said hand, it was too late to notice that he took another swing of his weapon, this time across my chest again, higher than the last one. I fell onto my back, writing in pain and before I knew it, he had jumped on top of me, straddling my waist and held his weapon at my throat with both hands, putting pressure down almost blocking my airway. Sweat dripping off of his hair as he leaned over me. I could see a red mark where my first contacted his cheek, bleeding slightly.  
With almost no energy left, all I could do was make sure this stick didn’t crush my larynx. His teeth were bared and he leaned further in, putting more pressure down. My legs were kicking behind him, my breathing becoming blocked, and my vision closing in.   
He finally relieved pressure from my neck and sat up, tossing his weapon off to the side. I tried to use this opportunity to finally get him off by punching again, but instead grabbed my wrists with his hands and slammed them next to my head. That made him get even get closer to my face. I struggled to get free, yanking against his iron like grasp but he squeezed harder and I cried out in pain. I looked up and he was glaring at me, breathing heavily through his teeth, “I wonder who trained you.” was said but I had a feeling it was more for him and not for me, “I hope you take this opportunity,” he said through ragged breaths, “To learn what type of punishment awaits you if you defy my orders again,” Ren let go and sat up, hands on his hips, his weight almost fully on my stomach. I kept my hands where they were and looked up at him through half lidded eyes from pain and exhaustion. My chest was heaving trying to suck in air, “Don’t pull a knife out on Hux again, understand?” I nodded, “Make sure my shuttle is ready in 24 hours.”  
I coughed, “Yes, Sir,”  
He brought his hand down, one placed next to my head as the other came down and patted my head, “Good girl.” I gave a small shudder when he said that before he stood up. I sat up on my elbows and watched as he gathered the weapons, put them back, and before he left the room, he placed my knife on a shelf next to the door. Confusion ran through my head on what had just happened, touched my neck, and I could tell that it was going to be bruised.  
Somehow I made it back to my room without being seen. My hair was a mess, my uniform jacket was being held on with one button, and I was walking with a slight limp. I headed into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. A bruise was starting to form on the left side of my jaw bone where the butt of his rod contacted. I pulled the pins out that were holding back my hair and lifting my neck, I saw yet another bruise forming, this time above my collar where he pressed his weapon against it hard. Another was forming at the top of my right hand. I’m surprised that it wasn’t broken but it hurt when I was taking off my uniform jacket so I let it drop to the floor. My undershirt had a few small blotches of blood and was soaked in sweat. Taking a deep breath, I pulled that off and forced myself to look at myself in the mirror. I ignored the scars and looked at the two lines across my chest. The one running across the top of my chest had a couple of spots where the skin was broken and had a small amount of blood seeping through. A slight purple was starting to form around them. The other now fully bruised line was mostly hidden through my bra. I reached around and removed the clothing. It started from the top of my left breast, a pause in the middle, and ended at the bottom of the right. I turned around and saw the one going across the middle of my back. Dropping my pants a little, I saw the top of the last line just above my underwear. Not wanting to see more of my own body, I looked away and got into the shower.  
I almost literally crawled into my bed after a hot shower and laid on my side for that was the least painful, curled up, and staring at the wall. Coming to the sudden realization that I liked the bruises, as it took the eyes away from the ugly scars. I fell asleep with a small smile on my face.


	4. Chapter 4

Standing at attention next to our chairs, we awaited for the arrival of the Supreme Leader. Making no effort to hide the marks I had received last night, I ignored the questions my co pilot kept asking about and smiled a bit when Ren stepped inside. It was just him and about ten troopers. He looked at me for a second, glancing at my neck and hand then back to my eyes, before sitting. I sat and began the take off procedures.   
We were going to the world below, with several other trooper shuttles because the intel the we were provided with had rumored that they were harboring rebels, but still claimed loyalty to the First Order. So, Ren decided to pay them a personal visit. Landing next to what looked like ancient ruins, Kylo Ren disembarked and I watched as the other shuttles that had landed, lower their ramps. The troopers poured out of them and stood in formation while the troopers from our ship accompanied the Supreme Leader. The sun was high in the sky and steam was rising from the stone as they disappeared around the back side of the ruins.   
The quietness of the cabin was broken with Ardak turning sharply toward me, “You need to tell me how you got those bruises and why you pulled a stunt like that yesterday. I mean, sure, some of us may have had a thought or two, but to actually pull a knife out on the guy? You could have gotten killed. I'm surprised you're still alive after seeing Kylo Ren drag you off like that.”  
I sighed and sat back, looking at my bruised right hand, “He was going to get killed. You saw how many fighters were on his tail.”  
“That doesn't mean you take all of us into the battle.” I could tell he was angry but I didn't care. I protected who I come to feel that I had to, “We all have certain jobs and our job is not fighter pilot's.”  
“He she dragged me to one of the training rooms,” I said, trying to change the subject.  
His face scrunched, “Training room?”   
“Yeah. It's the one at the end of the hallway. The black door,” Ardak nodded, “He yelled at me for a bit then said that if I had the desire to fight that he wanted to see my fighting skills were.” I crossed my arms and cringed a little at the soreness of my chest, “I didn't want to but I had to. So he threw me a wooden stick and fought until he smashed my hand,” I showed him my bruised right hand.  
“Physical discipline isn't allowed.” he whispered.  
I gave him a deadpanned look, “Who am I going to tell? Hux? He hates me enough as it is. Besides, it doesn't matter. I'm still here and alive.”  
“You know, you can get higher collars and gloves to cover the bruises.” he huffed.  
I looked down at my hand again and saw the slight purple on my wrist peeking out from under my sleeve, “Why do I need to cover them? I got them fighting. Nothing to be ashamed of.” I stood up, “I'm going outside for a bit. I have a feeling we are going to be here for a while.” and left.  
As I stepped off the ship, I felt how hot and sticky the air was. It wasn't surprising as we landed almost in a swamp. I felt a little bad for the troopers who were still in formation. It can't be that comfortable to be standing in the full sun with full uniforms on. Deciding to take a small walk behind the shuttle, I saw small pool covered over with trees, shading parts of the pond and various shades of blue and purple flowers surrounding it.   
I stood at the edge of the water, watching purple and orange fish swim and play below. A few times they surfaced to gulp in air or to eat a bug that just so happened to jump across. They swam away eventually and I was left staring at my own reflection. The reflection of a woman. But no. Not a woman. A girl. Not even that. A tool, a weapon, a thing to train and be used. Never a smile can be on my face, no emotion can ever be shown. I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the past, the voices slowly retreating until there was nothing. Opening my eyes, I looked up and walked away from the reflection. Heading to another part of the pond where flowers were growing, I squatted down and gently held the pedals in my hand. They were so delicate and soft. They were pretty. Long blue pedals of a flower got my attention. My thumb felt the upturned pedal and I kind of enjoyed its velvety feel. I was enjoying the simplicity of this flower when a shadow came over me and I froze, “That color matches your hand,” Ren said above me.  
“It's a nice blue.” I replied  
“Your color?” I just nodded. I did like that color. It was calming, “I am waiting for their King to come back from a day long hunt. We will be here for a while,” I stood. “Be on the lookout. We don't know if the resistance are here or not.”  
“Yes, Sir. Did they say when their King will return?” I asked, walking with him back to the shuttle.  
“Sundown. In the meantime, there will be a perimeter set. Do not leave that perimeter.” I knew that he meant no matter what that I stay with the ship. “Go back in the cockpit,” he said as we reached the ramp and walked up. Ren pushed the button and the ramp closed, “I will be mediating here. If you see anything interesting, come get me.” I nodded and went back to my seat.  
My copilot looked up from his data pad at me, “Told you we are here for the long haul.”  
It was about an hour after sunset, I had my chin resting on my folded arms on the console when I saw a blaster bolt that came somewhere in the forest hit the ground next to one of the patrolling troopers. A second later, the area erupted with blasters being fired and off in the distance, I saw a blue lightsaber come to life and swinging. Launching out of my seat, I scrambled down the stairs and landed just as Kylo Ren was standing, “Sir, the rebels are here, and there is someone else here that has a lightsaber.” He paused and unclipped his from his belt.  
The ramp lowered and just before he left the ship he turned back to me, “Remember, do not leave.” he pointed a finger at me, “You better be here when I get back.” and he ran out.  
I stood there, watching the fighting that was going outside. Inside, I was itching to take out my blaster and join the fray, but he commanded that I stayed. Just yesterday I was being punished for disobeying an order so what would the punishment be if I did it again? Reluctantly, I went back up the stairs as the ramp closed again. Watching the battle through the viewing port was agonizing. Troopers and rebels being flown through the air as they were hit and I couldn't sit down. I was trying to see where Kylo Ren went to. Just ahead, I saw flashes of blue and red hitting each other sending out purple sparks. The sabers suddenly disappeared and I scanned frantically trying to see where they had gone. Then I saw a girl with three buns and a grey outfit come running toward the shuttle and pass right by heading off into the woods to the right. Kylo Ren, several feet behind, his lightsaber clutched in is hand had a look of determination on his face as he chased after the girl. I leaned forward on the terminal looking to where they were going when I saw him. The traitor. He too was running in their direction, slower but wanting to join another battle. I made to move but my copilot grabbed me by my forearm, “Where are you going?”  
“I have to help. It’s going to be two against one.” I jerked my arm out from his grasp and ran down the stairs. Damn with the order, there were two of them one one of him and I couldn’t let the resistance get the upper hand. Not bothering to reach the end of the ramp, I jumped over the side and took off in the direction they went to. I turned just in time to see the traitor go between two trees before disappearing.  
I leapt over over several fallen trees and pushed away low lying branches as I followed the sounds of running and shouting in front of me. But before I knew it, I was in the middle of a very quiet forest. I stood still, trying to hear for any movement then I felt both mentally and physically, a cold burst coming from my right then an explosion. Turning, I ran in the direction where I last heard the noise.   
A clearing is where I had ended up with only the light of the full moon lit up the area. To my right, I heard a males voice cry out and I could see one figure reaching for another and cradling them in their arms. Then I looked left. Kylo Ren was lying on his side motionless. I scrambled over, dropped to my knees, and gently pulled him to where he was laying on his back, his head rolling over further toward me. Gently I reached out to touch his temple and I felt warm sticky fluid. Pulling back, I saw that my hand was covered in blood and something inside me started to click. Someone hurt him and I wasn’t there to protect. My fault he was injured. My fault. Must protect. Protect who? Master. Must protect Master.   
That mantra was repeating itself over and over again and at that moment, it felt as though I was having an out of body experience. I could see and hear everything that was going on but inside, someone or something else took over. Glancing down, I saw that his hand was just barely holding onto his lightsaber and reaching out, I took it and held it in my hands. It was heavy and in a T shape, it’s metal exterior still warm. I flipped over and over again in my hands before clutching it in my right hand and looking over to the couple.  
“I’ll finish this Ray. I’ll kill him and we can bring peace to the galaxy again.” I slowly stood as he did and planted both feet on either side of Kylo Ren’s hips in a protective stance. I felt my breath becoming more and more deeper and the pounding in my ears was getting louder.  
The figure ignited the blue saber and I could see his face now. It was the ex stormtrooper. My hand clenched tighter at the sight, “It will be alright. It’s almost over,” he said before turning around. He began to walk toward us and that was when I ignited mine. He stopped in his tracks, “Who... who are you?” I didn’t answer, “Look, I don’t want to kill you, just him. Just step aside,” I brought the saber up into attack position, “You’re going to get...,” I cut him off with a guttural scream and ran full force at him.  
I saw him move back a few feet before I brought the saber down. He blocked and leaned back and I sneered at him before launching back and moving forward again. Swinging over and over again and he blocked as best as he could while walking backwards. The thought of him turning his back on the First Order, the attack on my Master, and the traitor wanting to kill him flooded my mind and took over my actions.  
But as I went to side step an attacking blow, the loose rocks below my feet gave way and I slid which led the way for the saber to slice into my left forearm. It went through my clothes, flesh and burned the meat bellow. I cried out and stepped back while holding my forearm to my stomach. He stood up panting, “I don’t want to kill you. Let me finish this war,” I was at this time between Kylo Ren and this ex trooper. Standing I put my saber out to block his way. “Move you stupid...” not letting him finish as I went at him again this time with more fury and I managed to slice his front. It wasn’t deep enough to kill but enough to bleed. He dropped the saber and fell, crawling backwards toward the base of a tree in the middle, clutching his chest and staring with wide eyes straight at me. I brought the saber up, pointing right at his chest. Pulling back, I was ready to impale this traitor and heard muffled screaming until one brook through the fog, “Septa, Stop!” At the same time, the girl had thrown herself between me and him. Standing there frozen, the red saber pointing directly at his chest as my breathing starting to calm.  
Then I felt a hand touching my left shoulder a breath in my ear, “It’s OK.” It was Ren’s. His voice had a calming tone to it as he spoke into my ear, “It’s OK,” he said over and over again while his other hand slid down my extended arm and covered my hand that was clutching the weapon. I let him coax my finger over to the off button and with his over mine he pressed, and the saber disappeared back into the base, leaving all of us in the moonlight again, “Let go,” he whispered. Obediently, I loosen my grip and it fell into his hand. His other hand stayed on my other shoulder and I stared at the ground, lost in my own thoughts, “I suggest you get him medical help.” he told the girl who was now kneeling next to the fallen fighter.  
“You have to stop this Ben,” she said, pleading, “I know you don’t want this anymore. I can feel the light inside of you,”  
Kylo was about turn but stopped at the name, “Ben is dead and so is the light you speak of. You will have to accept that,” he paused for a moment before squeezing my shoulder, “But yes, this does have to stop.” he turned away and I moved with him as his hand was still on my shoulder. Guiding me out of the clearing and back into the forest we stopped. Ren came around to my front and grasped both of my shoulder as he leaned down, “Septa,” he said softly. I was still staring at the ground, lost in my mind, “Septa,” he said a bit louder. I brought my eyes up to meet his, a vacant look upon my face, “Septa.” He said even louder. I just stared. He shook me and began to yell until he let go and a sharp pain on my left cheek and my head snapping to the side made me wake up from my trance. I began to breathe heavy as my eyes darted back and forth trying to comprehend where I was at. He grabbed my shoulders again and looked back into his eyes.   
Then it hit me. I left the ship and perimeter, “I’m sorry, Sir. I disobey a direct order. I shouldn't have left the ship and ran after you.” I began to ramble on and on about leaving till he shook me again.  
“I don’t care about that. Are you okay?” he looked me over then down. He let go of my shoulders and picked up my wounded arm, “You need to go to the med bay when we get back or this is going to scar.”  
Scar? Scars don't mean anything to me. Just another addition another mark to an already ugly body. I felt myself slipping backwards in my mind. Everything started to blur around me and I got a blank expression on my face, “Whatever you feel is necessary, Sir,” I said in a monotone fashion.  
“Septa? Septa!” he said shaking my shoulders.  
“Not Septa. Number thirteen, Sir.” In my mind I was transported back about five years and to my training.  
He got a quizzical look on his face, “Numbers? What?” He slapped my face again but I wouldn’t respond, “What is wrong with you?” he asked but it was more of a whisper. I just stood there looking off into the forest but not really at anything, “Come on. We need to get you to the ship.” He took hold of my shoulder again and he walked me back to where the shuttle was. I let myself be guided quickly, being tucked close to his side, as we tracked through the forest.   
We made it back to the clearing and my co pilot was pacing at the bottom of the ramp. He saw us and Ren yelled to him, “We need to leave, now.” He then led me up to the bridge and sat me in his seat before bringing the strap around and securing it around my lap. He gently touched my face before taking the pilot's seat and finishing the take off procedures.  
After landing on the Finalizer, Ren led me back to the pilot's hanger, still holding onto my shoulder and tucked close to side. My eyelids were starting to grow heavy and with my energy levels already gone from the previous battle and the battle that was going on in my mind, all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt him clench my shoulder harder when I slouched a little from tiredness.   
I remember his taking me to my room and sitting me on my bed. He reached down and unbutton my jacket, sliding it from my shoulders and he laid it on the the back of the chair, “Lay down,” he ordered and I did, laying flat on my back and staring at the ceiling. He picked up one leg at a time, took off my shoes off before taking a blanket I had folded across the bottom, and covering me. I vaguely remember him uncovering my damaged arm before I slipping off into sleep.

I awoke with a splitting headache. Groaning, I slowly began to sit up and noticed that my right arm was stiff. Looking down, I saw that it was perfectly bandaged. Studying it closely, I tried to remember why it was this way and why I was still in bed still with my uniform on. A beeping in the corner startled me. It was a humanoid droid, one from the medical ward, “You are awake. I have been informed to tell you that you are required to stay in your room until further notice. I will have your meals brought here.”  
Baffled, “Under whose orders? I have a job to do.” I began to get out of bed.  
“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.” I stopped what I was doing. Why would he order me to stay in my room?  
Stumbling around, trying to gain my bearings, I made it into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had dirt all over my face and down my neck where it met with the purpleness of the bruise that was still there. Not wanting to look anymore, I turned around and began to take off my clothes. I wanted and needed a shower.  
I closed my eyes as the water hit my skin trying to think back to what happened the night before. Bits and pieces popped up. Seeing Ren’s body there, bleeding then waking up in bed, I had to remember what happened.   
“You’ve been in there for one hour,” a metallic voice interrupted my thoughts.  
I just glared at it as it left the room and began to wash myself quickly.  
Stepping out, I saw that the robot had put some clothes on the sink. Drying off, began to get dressed but stopped. The bruises were still there from a couple days ago. I gently touched the ones going across my chest. That’s when it hit me. After seeing him lying on the ground, my mind slipped to my past. I was no longer on another planet, I was in a training room fighting with my opponent getting drilled into my head that no matter what, I was to protect the one that will finally own me. I covered my mouth when I gasped. I had vowed to never bring those pieces of my past into my future when I finally was able to break free of those chains and had only stopped my attack when a faint voice told me to. It was Ren’s voice that said broke through.   
Finishing getting dressed in my long sleeved black shirt and black pants and pulled my hair back into a wet ponytail, I walked back out into my bedroom. I had almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Ren, sitting on my chair that was next to the bed, arms crossed and staring at me. He didn’t speak for a moment but did motion for me to sit down on the bed. I crossed my arms protectively in front of my chest and obediently did as he asked. He turned himself and the chair to face me once again before speaking, “You left the ship and perimeter.” he said flatly. I went to respond but he held up his hand, “But I am glad you did. What I want to know is what happened.”  
“Sir?” I asked, but I knew what he wanted. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.  
“You weren't yourself. I want to know who you were down there. You rambled on about numbers.”  
“Please, Sir. I really can’t talk about it,” I said slightly shaking.  
Ren studied me for a moment, “I sent a request for your records prior to your time at the academy.” I nodded, knowing that he wouldn’t find anything prior to my admittance. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, “I will find out what is going on in your head and when I do, we will deal with it. I can’t have you blacking out on me. You are much too valuable to me not be in sound mind. Understand?” I nodded again. “Good,” he stood and I did as well, “You are grounded...,”  
“Grounded?” I said raising my voice. He couldn’t ground me like a child.  
Ren stopped and rounded on me, his finger pointed at me, “What have I told you about interrupting me?”  
“I’m sorry, Sir,” I looked down again, ashamed that I had forgotten.  
“It was only supposed to be one but, but you are restricted from flying or entering any ships for two weeks,” I opened my mouth to voice protest, “Under mine and doctors orders. This is not up for negotiations, understand?”  
“Yes, Sir,” I said defeated.  
He looked at me and gave a small half smile, “Good girl,” he said in a lower voice and left the bedroom and out of my rooms.  
I put my head in my hands and groaned. Two weeks. Two weeks restricted from even touching a ship. Sure there were time we wouldn’t fly for more than that but to know that I couldn’t was going to be torture.  
Standing, I walked out into my living room where I found Ardak sitting on the couch. “Can I help you?” I sort of snapped at him, walking past and into the small kitchen.  
“I want to know what you did to our Supreme Leader.” he said.  
“What do you mean?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.  
He smirked and sat back, “You can’t see it can you? He likes you.”  
“Have you been drinking? He doesn’t like anyone.” I grabbed a purple fruit from the plate that was there.  
“While that is true, you did something. Last night, he personally brought you here and put you to bed. Does that sound like anything he would do someone?” My face blushed a bit at the thought of Ren putting me to bed and I didn’t know how to respond to that, “I came in here to talk to you and the android told me I had to wait here because you were in the shower. Kylo Ren strides and in just walked into your room, closing the door behind him. Do you think he just visits personnel in their personal rooms?”  
“I can’t tell you what he thinking. I do my best to avoid him at all costs but it’s kind of hard being his pilot.” I sat down across from him.  
“Do you remember anything about last night?”  
“Some of it, only that I saw the Supreme Leader on the ground bleeding from his head and not moving. I have missing points in my memory. Like I have a picture in my mind of holding his saber. Then of me standing in the middle of the forest. After that, I only remember waking up this morning in bed.” I hugged my chest.  
He then proceeded to tell me everything that he saw. Ren holding me tightly close to his side, walking me up the stairs and strapping me to his chair. I never talked the entire trip back and then we landed, he walked me back to my room. “What happened to you?”   
I sat quietly, taking in what I had just heard. I truly did have a relapse after seeing him on the ground. All my training came to the forefront of my mind and it took over. It didn’t care that I was just a pilot and was told to stay. Somewhere my brain had connected Kylo Ren with being my owner. “I, I don’t know.” I blankly said, “Everything is blank. I just don’t know.”  
He leaned back and huffed, “I think you do.”  
“Just drop it, please,” I leaned my head back on the sofa.  
There was a pause, “Please be careful,” he said.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, with the Supreme Leader. It’s quite obvious that he likes or even cares about you. I don’t want to hear that he killed you for something.” I could see the concern in his eyes and in his voice.  
I just glared at him, “Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.” It’s not going to happen because I am definitely not his type. Or anyone's type for that matter.  
He let the subject drop, “Oh thanks by the way.” he stood up.  
“Thanks for what?” I also stood.  
“Well, since you are out of commission for a while, guess who gets to be the main pilot.” he walked to the door, “You know, I never wanted that.”  
I was puzzled. I thought it was every copilots dream to be the actual pilot, “What?”  
“I’ve only just wanted to be co. I’ve got to go. We are leaving in about thirty minutes.”  
“You’re leaving? Where?” I stepped up next to him.  
“His fighter is at the tie training academy to have some components worked on and other upgrades,”  
I dropped my shoulders, “How long for?”  
“I don’t know. All I know is that we will be orbiting the planet for at least two weeks. Take care.” he said and left.  
The tie fighter training academy, something I had always wanted to go and see. Tie’s were much smaller and dispensable but the agility was something I had always wanted to try. The school had simulators but I knew that paled in comparison to what the real thing felt like.  
Going back into my bedroom, I sat at the edge of the mattress and just stared at the floor thinking about the conversation I just had with Ardak and with Ren. First, I had been grounded for two weeks from flying and I knew I would miss out on visiting the training facility below. That in of itself was depressing. The one thing I had always wanted to go, just within my grasp, but gone, all because my past decided to rear its ugly head.  
Second, there was no way the our Supreme Leader had even the remote kindness toward me. There are thousands of women out there that are better suited for whatever he is looking for and that was quite obvious months ago. I felt the same warm feeling coming back this time a little bit stronger and I clenched my fist, trying to squash feelings that were trying to come forth. I wasn’t allowed to have those feelings. Those feeling had always lead to weakness and I don’t have any weaknesses. I couldn’t.   
Then I felt it. The cold feeling that I always get when Kylo Ren is wanting his shuttle ready and is about to leave. Steeling myself, I got up and went over to the window. Opening the shades, saw him walking toward the ramp. Our eyes met and he stopped for a second. There was now a fluttering feeling deep in the bottom of my gut. He then disappeared into the shuttle and I watched as the ship left the hanger and out. I knew right there, I am in big trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a week into my punishment that I was in one of the training rooms. My arm had healed enough and the android that was assigned to my room removed my bandage. A thin scar ran down the length and it was just slightly red at the seam. It was in this time that a new order came through and the bot informed me that Ren was allowing me to leave my rooms only to see the medical ward or the training rooms.  
So here I was, sweat dripping to the floor as I stared at my forearm in a solid plank position. Music was blaring in my ears as I held my form for what seemed like forever. I had been in this room for about two hours, running on the treadmill, doing various modes of strength training. I hadn't seen Kylo Ren for the past week and that I was glad about. What my copilot said was still in my mind and I tried everyday to quash it. Be it though meditation or working out, I couldn’t let anything blossom that will never be. It was for the weak. And I was not weak. My mistakes in my training showed me that if I even had the slightest bit of hope or even love, it will always come crashing down. But why does that feeling still want to be revealed? Why is he making sure I was being taken care of? Why is he singling me out? Why is he making me believe something is there when it clearly isn't?   
I was holding my position as songs played and I was too busy singing to one of them to see or hear the door open and softly close. “Chances thrown, nothing's free, longing for what used to be, still it's hard, hard to see, fragile lives, shattered dreams” For some reason, I looked up from the floor and saw a pair of black boots about two feet away. Dropping my knees and getting up on my hands, my hoodie covering one eye as I looked up. Kylo Ren was sitting at a bench with his arms crossed. I gasped a little, sitting back on my knees and yanking my ear buds out, stuffing them inside of my shirt, “Sir?” I said, a little out of breath.  
“What were you singing?”  
“Just a song from my home,” I could hear the music still blaring from in my chest.  
“Interesting words. I got some reports back in about you. It’s quite unusual. There is no record of you anywhere prior to the academy. There is a strict background check on every cadet that applies but yours was left blank. Now, I also found out that you yourself didn't sign the acceptance papers. It was Divine Strasse, an intergalactic tradesman.” I stiffened at the sound of that name, clenching my hands together to hide the shaking. He glanced down and gave a small quizzical look, “I know of his reputation so I may have a small idea what might have happened to you. We will get into this later. Now,” he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “How are you feeling?”  
I was taken back by his calm question. “My wounds have healed and the bruises are all but gone.”  
“That’s not what I meant.” Leaning forward more, he stretched out harm and tapped his finger on my forehead, “In here.”  
“Oh. I haven’t had a repeat of what happened if that is what you are asking, Sir”   
He nodded and sat back again, and he looked up at the ceiling for a bit, tapping his right foot before looking down at me again. I forgot that I was still on my knees and I had to crane my neck just to look at him as he stood, “Prepare my ship. We will leave in the morning to check on the improvements on my fighter,” he turned to go.  
“Sir? I’ve still got another week left before I can fly again.” I was confused.  
He turned his head back to me, “So you don’t want to fly again?”  
“Yes, I do Sir. I just thought,” I was cut off.  
“I gave out that punishment. It’s up to me to cut it short. In the morning then?” I nodded, He gave a tiny smile, “Good.” and he left.

The next morning, I hid my pride as I once again stood next to my chair, my copilot giving me side glances. Inside, my stomach was doing flips after not being able to fly for entire week. I wouldn’t admit that it was also being bothered by seeing Ren again. He stepped onto the bridge and gave us the go ahead to leave.  
We landed at the tie academy below. Dozens of the tiny fighters were in the air. Some were practising landings, take offs, and hovering maneuvers. Others were further higher, shooting at a captured x-wing. The bolts were simulators and lit up a panel when it was hit. After Ren stepped off the shuttle, my copilot and myself went inside to the rec room. After being informed that we will be here for the rest of the day, there wasn’t anything else for us to do.  
About three hours after lunch, I was outside watching the ties continue to do their practice maneuvers while my copilot decided to take a nap on one of the couches in one of the officers quarters. I was leaning on a rock wall when a black figure came and stood beside me, “Those are the pilot's that are close to graduating.” I nodded, still watching, “Have you flown one before?”  
“No, Sir. All we had were the bigger shuttles”  
“Then where did you learn how to fly like you did?” He turned around, leaned his back against the wall and crossed his arms. I wished he would stop doing that.  
“Simulators. After dinner was our free time so I would just go to the simulator and log hours. They eventually had to get a new program for me because the one we had I beat over and over again.” I was kind of proud of that.  
There was a pause before he leaned in closer to me, “Would you like to fly one?”  
I turned my head to face him, “Yes, Sir. Very much so.”  
He pushed off of the wall and faced me, “Good. How about after dinner, we take a couple out and you can show me what you have learned?”  
I wanted to smile and hug him but I settled for a, “Yes, Sir. I would be honored,”   
“Then let's go eat’" he motioned with his hand to let me go ahead of him to the mess hall.  
As we entered the mess hall, I made to go left to eat with the other pilot's but Ren gently touched the right arm and indicated that I was to eat with him.  
During dinner, I could feel eyes staring at me. Ren asked me why I'm always in the training area and not lounging with the rest of the pilot's. “I really don't like being around other people. Solitude helps me to clear my mind.”  
He just gave a satisfied humming noise and nod and we ate the rest of the meal in silence.  
We entered the mostly empty hanger where two tie fighters were in the middle with their hatches open and two recruits standing by its side with some equipment in their hands, “These have simulated bolts and the panels have receptors to record a hit,” Ren began to explain, “You will get a notice on your screen where you are hit an if a fatal hit. Also, to be fair, I will also use a regular fighter.”  
“To be fair, Sir?” I asked questionably.  
“When I kill you multiple times, I don't want you think I had a better advantage had I used my personal fighter,” he smirked down at me.  
I stopped, “With all due respect, Sir, it will be you who will be destroyed. Multiple times.”  
He turned back to me, “Care to make a wager?”  
It was my turn to cross my arms, “And what would that be, Sir?”  
He stepped closer, “If I win, and I will, you will have to spar with me whenever I choose. You have proven to be a very competent fighter,”  
“And if I win?” I looked up at him. I don't think I'll ever get over how tall he is.  
“Well we won't have to worry about that because you wont,” he held up his hand to pause my protest, “but if you do, you can ask me for one thing and one thing only.”  
“What thing can I ask you?”  
He was already walking to the left tie, answering me over his shoulder, “Anything you want.”  
Shaking my head, I walked over the right and gave my hat to the recruit while putting on the flight vest.  
“This should be the same way as a simulator is as in the start up, ma'am,” the recruit told me. I turned away the helmet for a simple headset before climbing in the front and sitting down. My heart was racing a mile a minute just by being in an actual fighter. I plugged in the necessary controls from my jacket and finally the audio port from my head set.  
“You there?” Ren asked.  
“Yes, Sir,” my legs bouncing with anticipation, hands getting the feel of the real controls.  
“We'll start out just flying. I will let you know when you start shooting,” I heard him power up his fighter and watched it hover. Doing the same, I took several deep breaths, trying to calm my excitement, “Be careful leaving the hanger. There is a reason for the low ceiling. Now follow...” I cut him off by launching the fighter forward and out of the hanger.  
It was an exhilarating feeling being able to fly a real fighter. A rush of excitement ran through me as I pushed the controls forward to go faster and headed toward the simulator rocks. I flew through a small hole while spinning the fighter just enough to fit and started to climb as a sheer rock wall was right in front of me. Without knowing it, a smile started to creep across my face. I reached the top and two blaster bolts landed directly across from me.  
I was startled then Ren came across my com, “You really don't like following orders, do you? You were supposed to wait and follow me,” I could hear the sternness of his voice but felt no malice behind it.  
“Sorry, Sir.” I was still smiling.  
“Good. Now like I was saying, follow me. We are going in the forest,” I looked over to the right and there was indeed a wooded area there. He shot ahead of me and I quickly caught up. Getting to the edge he went straight, but I sneaky fully went to the right, still keeping him in my sights. I dodged multiple trees, spun through several more and went through a hole in a massive rock mound, “Where did you go?” His voice cracked over the com.  
“Why, Sir?” I almost giggled as he didn't know where I was.  
“We are starting, that's why,” I turned a corner from around a huge boulder and ended up almost running into his craft. Instinctively, I shot, and the left panel of his ship lit red as I passed. A beeping on a side panel showed a confirmed kill and a number underneath, “You sneaky..,” he didn't finished but I kind of knew what he was about to say. I turned and started to book it across the forest. It was too open out here and I wanted to get back to the rocks. I saw a few bolts pass by me as made a quick turn. He was right behind me. I turned several times but could not shake him. Then a bright flash lit up the cabin and another panel said that I had died, “That was a lucky shot back there,”  
Luck had nothing to do with it, I thought to myself as I dipped down a bit and put the brakes on, letting him fly by just above me. I hit the controls and gained speed again, trying to get him in my sights. But then he disappeared. Back down the cliff face. Cursing myself on remembering that, I looped back around and followed but by this time I had lost him. I curved in and out of rock holes and pillars, trying to find the other fighter and trying to hide as well, “Where are you, little girl?” He taunted me over the com. I paused for a second at what he called me and a shiver ran down my spine. The warm feeling started to creep back up. I was so distracted by it that I didn't notice that he popped up out of nowhere and shot me again, “Found you,” he said. Shaking my head, trying to get the feeling to go away, I slammed the controls forward, one to get away and two, to turn the tables around. It worked and he ended up back in front again. I took a few shot but they missed. He turned up but I kept going straight, hoping that this was a shortcut to wherever he hoped he was going. It took several minutes but I found him again. “Little girl, where did you go?”  
I wished that he would stop calling me that “I'm right here, Sir,” I shot and it hit the mark, another confirmed kill as I sped past him. We were tied. I doubled back, hoping that he didn't see where I went to and after a few minutes, I hadn't heard from him. A slight worry and concern came across my mind and I began to head back. As I got closer to the hanger, another fighter flew out of the hanger. It was the Silencer, “No no no,” I whispered, immediately turning around and heading back to where I came from.  
“Oh yes, yes, yes. You better run.”  
“Sir, you said that you wouldn't use your ship,” I said, diving into a tunnel.  
“Time to see how good you really are,” he shot a few bolts but missed as I dodged around underground pillars, “You can't escape. If you yield now, I won't shoot.” His fighter wasn’t equipped with the practice bolts and if I wasn’t careful, I could easily be destroyed. I frantically looked around and saw and exit to the left. Diving that way, I exited just in time before more blaster bolts shot by. I turned up but stopped, making Kylo Ren fly past, inches away from where I was. I quickly followed and began to shoot but none hit. He had dodged every one. I gained more ground but saw the rear guns raising.  
Upon seeing that, “Okay, you win. I yield.” I admitted defeat, but even though I had lost, I still had a smile on my face.  
“Good girl,” he said. More warm feelings gathered in my stomach but at this point I didn't care. I was out here flying and it felt great. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt free. He told me to head back to the hanger but I was okay with that. The natural high of flying was still in me as we flew back.  
Landing across from where Ren was,my hatch opened and stood, with the biggest smile on my face. I took a deep breath and stepped down walking over to where Kylo was getting out of his, “What is on your face?” he asked pushing a piece of sweat drenched hair from out of his face.  
I was puzzled, “What do you mean, Sir?”  
“You're smiling,” Then it hit me. I let myself to enjoy something and be happy and I immediately dropped it, “It looks good on you,” he said, “Our first sparring practice will be tomorrow after lunch. Let's get back,” he patted my shoulder and left. I handed over the equipment over to the recruit, took my hat and jogged over to where the shuttle was, my copilot waiting outside.  
He had his arms crossed and a smug look on his face, “How was your date with the Supreme Leader?” he asked as I got to the bottom of the ramp.   
“What date?” we walked inside and headed to the bridge.  
Sitting we began the procedure to lift off, “Don’t play it off. You ate together, went flying together, and when you got back from flying, you were smiling,” he sat and did his work.  
“It wasn’t a date,” I insisted, “He wanted to talk to me and just let me have a chance at flying a tie fighter.” I huffed. Then I saw Ren walking to the shuttle, the leader of the school talking with him.   
Ren nodded to the man and begun to walk up the ramp, “Be careful. He is the most unpredictable and harshest person you have and will have ever met. I don’t want to see you hurt.” I didn’t get a chance to reply because Ren walked onto the bridge and sat down.  
The flight back was quiet. The beeping of the control panel was the only sound and as we made our way back home, I got back to thinking what my copilot said. Was I really on a date with the Supreme Leader? And why was I smiling when I lost? I put those thoughts to the back of my mind to dwell on it at a later date.  
We landed and General Hux was waiting with a couple of higher officers with him. Ren left without saying a word and walked with the other officers out of the hanger and into a larger elevator.  
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “In seriousness though, how was flying one of those tie?” Ardak asked.  
“You’ve never flown one in the simulator?” I asked, turning off the shuttle.  
“I might have once or twice. I was too busy learning navigation and call signs.” I nodded. Copilots jobs were just that. Navigational maps and radio calls.  
“I flew in a simulator many many times at the academy. After my studies, I would just go and fly. The speed was what I loved. So actually getting into one was the most exciting feeling I have had in a very long time. The haptic feedback it gave with a real fighter was awesome. Computer programs can’t give you the same feeling as turning a corner at full speed. I loved it.” He stood up and I did as well to get off the ship.  
“You know, this is the first time since you came here that you’ve talked that much let alone smile.” I realized I was smiling again and lowered it, “What are you doing tonight?”  
“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. It’s been a long day for me.” we walked to the pilot's area.  
“Yeah. It has. I think I’m going to find this mechanic chick I’ve been trying to see.” he smiled   
“Really? Is there someone who has finally caught your eye?” I said, walking through the pilot's door door as he stopped.  
“I don’t know. Every time I talk to her though, I get a warm feeling in my stomach. I’m going to go see how it plays out. Have fun!” He said and walked away. I stood there staring at the now closed door. The exact feelings he had been having for this girl was the same feeling I was getting whenever I saw Ren. At that moment, I knew I was well and truly fucked.  
The next day, after lunch, I went back to my room and changed. Putting on my black pants, shirt, hoodie and shoes, I headed to the training rooms. He never told me which room but I had a feeling it was the one at the end. Getting to the solid white door I pressed the button to enter. It opened and when I stepped in, I wasn’t expecting the lights to be turned down low. I thought that we needed more light to spar, “I’m glad to see that you are here on time,” Kylo said walking away from the wall next to the door. He had on his normal black attire except his top was now a black tank top and he had taken off his shoes and pads by me in his socks. His muscles and pale body clearly on display and I started a bit too long at his body. Even without his normal robes on, he was still huge, “We will start out with a bit of meditation.” He walked to the center of the room and sat down crossing his legs. He motioned me to sit across from him and I also took my socks off and sat across from him, about a foot away. “You mentioned that you had also meditated,” I nodded, “Good. I won’t have to show you then,” He then closed his eyes and gently placed his still gloved hands on his knees. Still slightly confused as why we are starting this way, but not wanting to complain about it, I placed my hands in the little cove my legs made and also closed my eyes.  
The first thing I saw was a creek. A simple creek in a forest. I concentrated on what the water sounded like as it ran over the rocks. The flow of the water over the rocks was consistent and methotic. I let my mind follow the creek, bouncing over rocks and though grass before calming into a river. The flow was still there but not as many obstacles. Concentrating on that water, taking the many twists and turns the river took, I let myself rise further above the river, seeing the banks on either side and the trees swaying with the breeze. I don’t know how long I was sitting there but I was losing myself with the water and the forest to the point that I didn’t want to leave. But I had a feeling of coldness. It was trying to pull me away from the river and I fought for a second but the coldness was persistent that I leave this place.  
Slowly I opened my eyes and Kylo Ren was still sitting there, but staring at me, “I was wondering when you would come back,” I clenched my hands together, “Let’s get started then,” Ren stood, walked over to the rack, and he tossed me one of the wooden rods that I caught with ease, “We’ll start out slow,” And we did. Every swing he sent me was slow but I blocked it. Over and over again this happened. We were walking all around the room, eventually our pace becoming faster and faster and his blows a bit more powerful where I could feel it vibrating through the handle. We stopped and he told me it’s my turn and to come and attack him. He skillfully blocked every blow and returned his own and I was still nervous about charging at him. We were like this for about an hour before the door opened and a stormtrooper entered.  
“What?” he screamed, his chest heaving and I could tell that Ren was pissed. I had to look away because those feeling were coming back.  
“Sir, General Hux requests a meeting. He said it’s important.” The trooper said, a bit of shaking in his voice.  
“It better be,” Ren said, seething. Looking back at me, “We will have to cut this short. I will inform you the next time I need you,” I nodded and walked over with him to the rack to put my weapon away. “Good job,” he said before leaving.  
“Thank you, Sir,” I replied and walked down the hallway to the elevator.  
On the trip back I had to admit that I did have a little fun sparring with him. I reached the hanger to get back to my room when I saw a group of stormtroopers standing around a shuttle that had just landed. I walked over to where I saw my copilot, standing next to a tie, talking to a female mechanic. This must be the one he was talking about, “What is happening?” I asked.  
“Oh. Two resistance officers were captured and they are waiting for General Hux and the Supreme Leader to come.” he said.  
They arrived and went straight into the shuttle. After a moment, General Hux came out alone and walked back to where the elevator would take him back up to the bridge. After he left, Ren came back out and a couple of stormtroopers were dragging two men with them, as they were unconscious, following him. After Ren disappeared, the troopers in the hanger began to disperse.  
I continued my walk back to my room. After dinner and a shower, I changed into my more lounge outfit and sat at my desk. Pulling out a tablet from my home and began to look through the different pictures I had saved. I looked back at my younger self, days of smiling with friends, visiting different places, and looking so innocent. So much has changed since then. I was pulled out of my reminiscing a few hours later when I spotted troopers loading a few large cargo boxes into the shuttle. I was confused. I never gave an order to load the shuttle. Ren must be planning something. Trusting that he knew what he was doing, I went back to my tablet.

The next few days were pretty uneventful. I never got the feeling that Ren wanted to leave, no meetings were scheduled, only leaving to eat and workout. Even though we’ve had periods of of time where we wouldn’t go anywhere for weeks, this felt different. There was something in the air like a shift of some sort. Ardak said that the rest of the pilot's were getting anxious as we never heard about what happened to the two captives. Usually we would be briefed about the information that was taken from any captives but nothing came from the higher officials. The two rebels must have been killed. I had no empathy for them. They were on the wrong side of the war and I felt that we were winning.  
I got back to my rooms one night, completely exhausted. It was late and I had been in and out the training rooms using the treadmill, lifting weights, and adding some punching routines with the hang bags they had. It was one way I could stave off boredom. I missed dinner but ignored the protest of my stomach, eating only after a hot shower.  
Two hours later, I was awoken by a shaking on my shoulder. I had completely curled myself into my blanket so I was only able to see out of one eye. It was completely dark so I was confused on what was happening, “Wake up,” I could tell now that it was Ren shaking me. I gave a small, tired moan and stretched out and my eyes were immediately blinded by my lights being turned on. I groaned in protest, “You have fifteen minutes to get ready. I don’t know how long we will be gone for so pack for that,” and he sat at my desk, a bundle of cloth in his hands, “Don’t bother dressing in your uniform, yet.” Ren said  
I groaned again and threw back the sheets and slipped my feet into a pair of black sandals I always had next to the bed. I just wanted to sleep. What did he need that needed me to pack and leave in the middle of the night? Stumbling, I went over to my closet, still rubbing my eyes, and dropped to my knees. Pulling out a duffel bag and backpack from my trunk, I began to throw clothes and shoes into it, not caring if they landed in a wrinkled heap in my duffel, and I also made it a point to toss in my music player and headphones. In the bathroom, I dumped most of what was on my sink before tossing what ever I could grab from the shower into my sack. Finally zipping up my bags, I groggily stood and looked at him, exiting the refresher.   
“Ready?” Ren asked. I just nodded, not having the energy to make a verbal response, “Good,” he came over and thrust the bundle of cloth at me. Grabbing the cloth, he bent down and picked up my bags, “Let’s go and be quiet,”  
I followed him blindly into the brightly lit hanger. Not a whole lot of people were there. A few troopers were doing their normal patrol but most of the ship was asleep. We entered the ship and he closed the door as I walked up into the bridge and sat, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and turning on the console, “You’ll be able to sleep again soon,” he said sitting at the copilots chair.  
“Where are the others,” I asked, slurring my words.  
“It’s only us. It’s what some would call it a secret mission. No one else knows about this,” he flicked a few of the buttons on the panel, “Ready?”  
I yawned and nodded. Taking the controls, we lifted off and left the safety of the ship. Ren punched in a destination and I saw the stars become elongated again before we went into hyperspace. He stood and told me to come and I did, shuffling to him. Ren took the cloth from my hands and shook it out. It was a simple black cloak with a hood on it and as he twirled it around my shoulders and clasped it at my neck, I noticed that it was full length and that it hid my body. He also produce a trip of leather, “Where we are stopping first, you will need to wear this,” he held out a collar that was attached to a leash. I looked at him confused, “It’s not a safe place and I need certain things. We should only be there for a few hours. While we are waiting, we will come back to the ship and you can sleep again, okay?” I could hear the concern in his voice. Nodding I held my head up so he could attach the collar around my neck. The feeling of a collar around my neck wasn’t foreign to me. During my training, I was forced to have a metal one on and I hated every minute of it, but this, it wasn’t a bad feeling. The soft leather felt good on my flesh, like a lingering touch of safety. Also, knowing who had the other side of the leash was kind of a calming factor.   
Ren pulled the hood up and it partially obstructed my view, “Don’t talk and do everything that I say. Will leave as soon as I get what I need.” I nodded again.   
The ship came out of hyperspace and orbited a small orange planet. He sat in my seat and piloted the vessel down to a cleared landing pad. After everything stabilized, he stood back up and took hold of the other side of the leash, “Look at me,” I tilted my head. He also pulled a hood over his head but left his face exposed, “Remember, don’t talk and just do everything that I tell you. Follow closely behind me,” He brought his gloved hand up and touched my cheek. It was warm and his thumb brushed against me. Without knowing, I leaned into it, “We’ll be gone soon,” I saw it in his eyes. It was a caring look he gave me. For a second, I believed that Ren truly didn’t want anything to happen to me, “Lets go,”  
I followed him closely as we went down the ramp.   
The town we were at was quiet but it radiated something that i couldn’t put my hands on. Orange buildings were all around us and a few creatures and people were walking around. All of them leading someone or something else on a leash just like I was. I glanced over and saw a naked man on his knees in front of woman with purple skin as she talked to someone else. I clasped my hands together and squeezed them nervously.  
He led me to a plain door and entered, following closely behind him, “Ah, Supreme Leader Ren, welcome,” I heard. I couldn’t see because Ren was blocking my path, “I see you had finally gained a slave. Good on you,” I furred my eyebrows at the sound of slave.   
He tugged my leash sharply to his side and I walked up to stand next to him, “Kneel,” he ordered in a harsh voice, pointing to the floor. Remembering what he said, I immediately dropped to my knees and stared at the ground.  
“New?” the man asked.  
“Yes. She is currently in training.” he patted my head, “But very eager to learn,”  
The man laughed a bit, “So what can I help you with?”  
“I need a communicator that is untraceable.” Untraceable? I knew plenty of engineers back on the ship that could make one. Why were we here for something simple like that?  
“I think I can round one up for you. It will take a few hours to put the pieces together, but I’ll personally deliver it to your ship. Will you be staying at the inn while you wait?”  
“No. I will be back at my ship.” I heard a few beeps above me indicating that they had finalized the transaction. My leash was tugged upwards and I rose to my feet, “I’ll be waiting,” he turned to leave and I did the same but stopped when I bumped into someone. It was the purple skinned woman from outside.  
I felt pain flaring up on my cheek. This bitch had slapped me, “How dare you,” she said through her teeth.  
Ren stepped in between us, “May I help you?” a hint of annoyance in his voice. I didn’t know if it was directed at me or this woman.  
“Yours?” she said, “You need to teach it some manners. We don’t need animals running around here.”  
“My apologizes. She is in training and it won’t happen again,” I could feel something rising inside of me. She had hit me and all I wanted to do was rip out her throat. The sound of choking interrupted my thoughts, “And you will never touch anything that belongs to me again. You need to learn to keep your hands off of someone else's toys,” I could tell he was choking the woman without actually touching her. He tugged once again and we left.   
I could feel something dripping down the side of my face that she had hit, but I didn’t want to reach up and touch it. After reaching the ship and waiting for the ramp to close, he quickly took off my hood and tilted my head to where he could see where I had been hit, “It’s just a small scratch,” Ren wiped off the bit of blood that was there, “I didn’t expect to see someone else in that shop,” He took off my cloak and I followed him back up to the bridge, Ren still holding onto the leash. He spread the cloak out onto the floor and took off his own, “Lay down and sleep for a while. I’ll let you know when we are getting ready to leave,” Without making a sound, I complied, lying down and gathered a portion of the cloak to use as a pillow. Sleep quickly came to me and I saw him tuck his own cloak around me to use as a blanket. I took a big inhale of his scent that was still on it and I fell asleep with a small smile on my face.  
It was truly a few hours later that I was awoken to someone shaking me. This time I was more awake and alert, “Come on. They are coming.” I stood and leaned down to grab my cloak. Once again, he fasten it around me and took up my leash again, “Remember what I said.” I nodded and he led me back down. Ren sat at one of the bench chairs, “Kneel down between my legs, hug my waist, and keep still,” my heart began to pound and I leaned forward and hugged him. He felt firm. Not a whole lot of give like some men had, but it also wasn’t awful. Ren’s midsection was comfortable to lean against as I settled down, turning my face so where my cheek was resting against his stomach. This wasn’t a bad feeling. I felt comfortable and strangely safe being on my knees in this position. Conflict began in my mind as I felt him pat my head before hearing the ramp being lowered.  
The sounds of footsteps up the ramp stopped, “Well, I'm sorry if I interrupted anything,” the same man from the shop said.  
“You didn’t interrupt anything,” I felt his hand come down and touch my cheek for a moment, before disappearing, “I was just making sure that she knew who she belongs to and that my cock is the only one that she will ever suck,” I felt my face getting red after what he had said. They were under the impression that I had his penis inside my mouth. His hand came back and I felt him pretending to tuck himself back in. Another pat on my head and Ren pushed me back a bit. I undid my arms around his waist and sat back on my heels. He stood up and walked around me and I felt the leash being moved toward my back but no tugging., “Thank you for completing this. We must be on our way,”  
“Good luck. Hopefully we’ll see you again with her more trained,”  
“Maybe. It’s going to be a while.” Ren said.   
I waited to hear for the ramp to fully close before snapping my head up at him, giving him a hard glare. Ren had his hands on his hips and let out a sigh of relief before turning and looking down at me. His eyes grew a tad wide at the look I was giving him, “Look, I am sorry. Like I said,” he waved his hand at the closed floor, This is not a nice place,” He knelt down next to me and undid the cloak. As it fell away he also reached up and undid the collar around my neck. A small part of me becoming disappointed at the loss of that feeling.  
“You couldn’t think of anything else to say like, Oh she’s just asleep?” I knew he was my superior, but that was humiliating. He helped me to my feet, “Why did you have to come here for an untraceable communicator? The engineers on the Finalizer would be more than happy to make one for you.”  
Ren sighed, looking down, “Yes, they could. It doesn’t matter now. On to our next destination, okay?” He place his hand on my cheek again and gave me another one of his small smiles.  
My stomach flipping upside down, all I could do was nod. Yep, truly fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

The ship came out of hyperspace a few hours later, above a large green and blue planet. We haven’t spoken since we left what I called the slave planet and before Ren disappeared to the cargo hold, he instructed me to just to land somewhere as he was going to mess around with the contraption. After flying above the dense treeline for a few minutes, we finally broke through to a fairly large clearing. A small lake was to the left with a dual waterfall at the edge and a small, flat mound covered in moss a few feet away from the lake was where I decided to land. As soon as the ship settled and turned off most of the power, I headed downstairs where Ren was on his knees, turning what looked to be dials and I saw sparks jumping out of the small machine, “Since we have landed, can you please answer why we are here?” Respect be damned. I wanted answers and I wanted them now.  
He grunted as a large flash came from the machine and he sat back, “There has been a new revelation and we came out here so I can contact the appropriate people. I have a plan.” he looked at me up and down, “You didn’t call me sir.”  
I wanted to roll my eyes at him but settled for a blank face. “Sir.”  
He gave another one of his small smiles, satisfied with my response. He stood with the gadget in his hand, “I’ll be back. Stay here,” He turned to leave as the ramp lowered.  
“Wait!” I walked after him, “How long are we going to stay here, Sir?” I asked, now crossing my arms.  
“I don’t know. An hour, a day, a week, until someone answers me. We might be here for a while.” and he left, trudging through the forest.  
I huffed as he walked away and I went over to where Ren had placed my duffel bag. Still being in my lounge outfit, I took this chance to change as no one else was around. Changing into my workout clothes, damned if I’m going to wear my normal uniform, I put my hair back into a braid before looking around the cargo hold. There were about six large crates tucked away in the corner and opening one, it was filled with food, all in refresher bags. Those bags made food be able to stay fresh for a long period of time until opened. Not bothering to open the others, I walked outside into the sun and looked around. I walked over to where the small lake was and looking down, it was a crystal clear blue. A couple of rocks were in the middle that were big enough to sit on then I looked over to where Ren disappeared into the forest. Tall trees surrounded us and heavy underbrush blocked the view further into the woods. I turned back, heading straight to the ship with my stomach growling, and I believed it was breakfast time.  
It was well past lunch and I was laying on a soft patch of moss that was under one of the shuttles wings. It provided the perfect shade as I listened to music. Deciding on something more low key, I was tapping my foot to a Garth Brooks song. That’s when I noticed movement coming from the forest in front of me. Sitting up, I was relieved that it was Ren walking back from wherever he went to and he was missing the machine he went out with. He walked right past me and up the ramp and I stood and followed, wondering what was going on. He was rummaging through the food crate before taking out a small white box. Ren turned and saw that I was standing at the bottom of the ramp, “I’m hungry,” was all he said before sitting down on one of the benches and opened the box.  
Wringing my hands a bit, “May I ask you something, Sir?” I walked forward a few steps.  
He motioned with one hand to continue.  
Swallowing, “Why me?”  
Ren stopped eating a piece of fruit he held out and looked at me. Immediately I felt a little self conscious. Swallowing the bit of food, “What do you mean?”  
“I mean,” I sat on the bench across from him, “You could have taken the ship yourself and flown to where ever you needed to go. Why bring me along?”  
He sat back and put the box in the seat next to him, “That is a very good question. I feel as though you needed to get out and it’s nice having your own personal pilot.”  
“That is true, but why did you choose me?” I tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear, “Ardak could have taken you anywhere.”  
He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at the floor, “I think it’s because you’re the only one I can trust. The others wouldn’t hesitate to run and tell Hux of any plans or be in complete protest on what we are doing. You,” he loosely shook his finger at me, “You have a loyalty that I can appreciate.”  
I looked outside for a bit, the warm feeling gathering in my stomach again. This time, there was no escaping where I could be far away from this man, “I’m just doing as you ordered, Sir,” I said looking back at him.  
“Hmmm. Sometimes, that is questionable,” Ren cocked an eyebrow at me while sitting back and crossing his arms.  
Irritated, “It is my duty to make sure my Supreme Leader is safely delivered to where he may want to go. Even if that means fighting,” looking at him dead in the eyes.  
He was the first to break eye contact, looking back outside, “It’s going to get dark soon. We should get some firewood,” he stood. I did as well and he motioned with his arm, “Ladies first,” My shoulders fell a little. Why is he being so damn nice, I thought as we walked into the forest. Ren took out his saber and began to slice some of the dead trees down as I picked up some of smaller logs and started to drag them back to the ship. We worked for a good hour gathering wood and bringing it back and he had sliced all the logs into smaller pieces. Before long, we had a fire going. We had gone inside and as I gathered a few pieces of food to cook, Ren opened a different tote because he walked outside with two chairs. He set one next to where I was sitting next to the fire and sat in his about a foot away. Sitting in the chair, I continued to eat my dinner. After we had finished eating, he decided to break the silence, “So,” he said, sitting his box on the ground, “Tell me something, why were you associated with Divine Strasse?”  
I froze, the sound of his name freezing my blood, “Uhm, it’s something that I would rather not talk about, Sir,”  
“I’ll get my answers out of you one way or another,” he said before standing up, “I’ll be back.” then he turned and disappeared into the forest again.  
Sighing, I picked up his discarded dinner box before going back inside to put them away. I peeked into the other box he had opened and saw different pieces of what looked to be furniture. Off to the side, there were two tightly rolled blankets. I took out one and opened it. It was a bed roll with a pillow. Taking the bundle back outside, I put a few more pieces of wood on the fire and laid out the bed roll. Settling back, I had a nice view of the night sky. Not knowing which direction my home was,I decided just settled on just looking at one of the stars, hoping what the one I was looking at was home.  
I woke the next morning, curled up in something warm, enjoying the smell that was coming off of it. Then I remember where I last smelled that scent. It was last night, on that planet. My eyes shot open. I was lying on my side and the horizon gave off a faint orange glow, indicating an upcoming sunrise. The fire was low but enough to give off a soft light. I felt a presence right next to my head and slowly, I tilted my head and saw a mass of black hair, inches away from my face. I knew right then and there it was Ren. Moving slightly, I felt a familiar, soft cloth. He must have covered me with his cape when he got back and saw that I was sleeping. Not knowing what to say or do, I curled back into the warm the cloak. I fell back to sleep wrapped in warmth and listening to him breath while he slept.  
The next time I awoke, it much brighter. The sun hadn't fully come out yet but there was enough light to see. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and looked back down. Ren was still sleeping, this time on his side and his hand was almost touching mine. I carefully took off his cloak and after I stood, I draped it over his chair. Going back inside, I brought some things to make for breakfast. As I waited for the fire to come back to life, I took this moment to actually look at him. His face had a calm look to at it as he slept. His jet black hair looked very soft to the touch and begged to have a hand raked through it. I looked at his face and actually studied it. The scar stood out from his pale skin and at that moment, I wished I had the power to not care about showing scars like most people, especially Ren. More warmth had gathered in my stomach and I realized that it was too late to squash them down. I was starting to like our Supreme Leader, the most powerful man in the galaxy. I tore my eyes away from his sleeping body and clenched my fists tightly, wetness lining my eyes. This isn’t happening, this can’t happen. I am not relationship material and I began to breathe deeply, trying desperately to calm myself. Ardak’s voice came back to the forefront about us going on a date and that our Supreme Leader liking me. It’s not fair, I told myself. It’s not fair that I am getting these feelings and there will never be anything that comes from it. I tried and tried my best to train myself to get rid of these feelings and I thought I had taken care of it but those feelings decided to rear its ugly head. Sighing with defeat, I would just have to deal with it if it ever comes to light.  
A groggy voice came from behind me, “What’s for breakfast?”  
“Eggs and bacon,” I said flipping over the food.  
“Hmmm. Smells good.” I watched as he stood, his arms going above his head in a big, morning stretch. My heart pounding again. He just sat down on his chair as I handed him a plate.  
I got up and slid into my own seat, eating.  
We sat in silence as we ate breakfast, my mind trying to make any sense of what my heart was trying to do. Even though I may have started to see him in an all new light, there was no way he was doing the same to me. After seeing what type of woman he was into, I needed to keep my feelings to myself and just suffer internally.  
Ren finished first and disappeared into the ship for a few moments before coming back out, wearing new pants and this time a black tank top. I stopped moving for a bit as I watched the muscles in his arms move as he moved them in large circles. “I’m leaving again. Don’t know when I’ll be back.”  
I swallowed the last bit of eggs and set my plate down, “Could I possibly leave the ship, Sir? It gets kind of boring just sitting here.”  
He looked at me for a moment, “Yes. Just never follow me, understand?” I nodded, “Good girl” Ren said with a smirk and left.  
Every time. Every time he regards me in that manner, I could feel a heat coming up my body. Not knowing if he was just trying to get under my skin, I hated how those simple words and gestures made me feel. It only served to reinforce my affections toward him. I decided to take a long walk to try and forget about it all.  
I had gotten back shortly after lunch because where I ended up at, was at a cliff overlooking a small valley. Not too tall but tall enough that if you fell, you would either be seriously injured or killed. I was just sitting at the edge, looking through my camera of all the pictures I had taken on my walk up here, when I heard a distant rumble. Looking up, I could see dark clouds approaching. When I finally reached the shuttle, the thunder had gotten louder and a few raindrops were falling around me. Not seeing Ren there, I thought that if didn’t want to get caught in a storm, he better make it back quickly or find some place to ride it out.  
“It’s about time you came back,” I heard his voice coming from inside of the shuttle.  
Stepping up the ramp, I looked around and he was sitting on the bench, scrolling through a data pad. The rain had now begun to come down harder and the thunder echoed through the ship. Closing the ramp to shut out the noise, I went over to my duffel bag and took out my tablet. Settling myself on the floor with my back against the bench, we sat there, listening to the rain and thunder going on outside, engrossed in our own activities. I reached over to my backpack and took out my music player. Only putting one ear bud in as to listen to see if he would talk again, I pressed play to whatever playlist was first and began to transfer the pictures that were on my camera to the tablet.  
Completely engrossed by looking through my pictures that I never noticed Ren standing and changing seats. I did notice when I felt his pant covered legs slide down both my shoulders and I froze, not know what to do. I now was sitting on the floor, between his legs. Feeling him bend down, “What are you looking at?” he asked above me.  
Taking the earbud out, “Just pictures of my home planet before I, left,” I swiped the screen left and another picture came into view, this time of Niagara Falls.  
“What’s that?” he asked.  
“It was when my family went on vacation and we took a boat out to Niagara Falls.”  
I swiped it again, “What about that?”  
So I began to talk about all the pictures I swiped through, where they were taken and who were in the pictures. I began to relax again and leaned further back into his legs, while stretching out mine, crossing them at the ankles. Eventually, I felt a weight on the top of my head as he had placed both of his hands then rested his head on them, looking through the pictures with me.  
I don’t know how long we sat there looking at pictures and me talking but eventually our stomachs started to give a little grumble. Turning off the tablet, I set it aside but he didn’t remove his head or hands from the top of my head, “Do you wish to go back to your mysterious planet?” he asked in a slight whisper.  
Thinking about it for a moment, “I don’t know. I doubt my family even misses me anymore. I’ve been gone for so long but I do miss the landscape.” He sat up and I took this opportunity to lean my head to the side, resting it against the inside of his thigh. Ren brought a hand down and started to smooth down my hair over and over again. I was getting lost in the calming sensation. Something about sitting at this mans feet while he gently patted my head was bringing back those warm feelings in my gut. Letting them take over a bit, I decided to indulge them, if only for a little while. Hopefully they would be sedated and retreat back into the pit of where I had shoved them. Giving out a big sigh, I brought my legs back up so I could hug my knees and leaned further into his thigh.  
I knew I shouldn’t be enjoying this but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this is what I wanted. Being forced to do ‘services’ and fighting and being chained all the time, I should be repulsed at the thought of doing it all over again, but this was different. The thought of sitting at someone's feet felt kind of right and a part of me wanted to be here. Closing my eyes, I still felt coldness coming from Ren, but this time, it was like a gentle, cool breeze directed at me. It was confusing. He had the ability of breaking down every defense I had up with just one look and it was maddening. I was brought out of my thoughts when Ren spoke up, “We should get some food in us,” I hummed, and nodded agreeing with him. My stomach was starting to hurt because the lack of food completely forgetting about lunch. He tucked a piece of hair back behind my hair, before patting my head and standing up. I was slightly disappointed when he stood.  
He lowered the ramp and it was still raining out but no thunder. The fire pit we made was completely dry because of its position under the shuttle as was the wood, so when he went to go relight the fire, I dug into the food tote, looking for something good for dinner. I took out what looked to be like steaks and a pouch that said vegetables and went outside. He was standing there, looking at the fire, hands on his hips. Walking over, he held his hand out and I gave him the steaks. I sat back down in my chair, watching him rig something out of sticks so the meat could cook properly and I looked at the vegetable bag in my hand, reading the direction on how to heat them up.  
Dinner was a quiet affair, the rain quieting down to a drizzle. We both ate our respective foods then just sat in silence, looking at the fire, deep in our own thoughts. My past demons battling inside my head, the things that I had to do and was forced to do kept appearing. Those thoughts were fighting my current emotions on what was currently happening to me. The mere hint of any type of relationship with anyone was frightening. I had tried to be in one once before, but it ended badly.  
I eventually went back inside to grab my bedding and I looked over and saw Ren’s on one of the benches. Walking back out, I gave him his bed roll and before I could turn to go, he grabbed my hand and held it for a moment, “Thank you,” he said and let go. I walked back over to the other side of the fire, staring at the hand he touched, feeling little tingles go through the tips.  
“You're welcome, Sir,” I responded, laying out my bed.  
As I got settled, I watched as he laid his out in the same place as last night. Inches from my head but sat back down, poking the fire looking over at me. I cuddled further into my blanket, the sound of the rain was slowly starting to lull me to sleep and as my eyes grew heavier and heavier, he was still staring at me as I slipped into sleep.  
Pain and exhaustion flowed through me as I ran. My lungs screamed for a break but I couldn’t stop. I was running, running for my life. My bare feet hitting some sort of ground but nothing there as blackness surrounded me. Voices were shouting around me, calling me worthless, nothing, less than nothing. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried to get away but I heard steady footsteps behind me, catching up. I screamed as hands grabbed my arms as I was forcefully stopped and made to kneel. My arms were stretched out to the side, being pulled by even more hands, “You're dirt, aren't you?” A harsh voice said, cutting through the darkness. By this time, I was sobbing, tears streaming down my face. “What are you?” The faceless voice said all around me.  
I whispered, “Dirt.”  
It laughed and the other voices joined in, “Louder!”  
“I'm dirt,” I said louder.  
The hands started to pull harder, “Louder!” It screamed.  
I used every ounce of energy I had left, “I'm dirt!” I screamed. The hands were relentless and I could feel my arms starting to pry out of it sockets. Crying out, I begged the voices to let me go, that I would be good, but they just pulled even harder. Through the screaming I could hear my name being called. It was faint but it was there. Screaming as my arm popped out of the socket, I heard my name being called louder now and I could feel a heat on my right cheek building. As I was feeling my other arm about to go, my name was screamed so loud everything started to get muffled. Then, the vision swirled, like it was being flushed down the drain before darkness again..  
Gasping, my eyes shot open wide. It was still dark and I tried to sit up but was held back. Breathing heavily, I tried to fight and flee but arms were circling my body, holding my arms down but also against something stiff. I panicked, thinking that they had come back and this wasn't a dream anymore, but then, “Septa,” a voice said behind me. I couldn’t see who it was but the voice was warm, “It’s okay,” it said. My breathing became more calmer as I started to become aware of my surroundings. A reddish glow from the burned down fire that was right in front of me and I could see the reflection of the glow on the panels of the shuttle. I blinked a few times and swallowed deeply, trying to moisten my dry mouth, “Nothing is going to hurt you. It’s okay,” the voice whispered into my ear. I tilted my head back and it came to a stop on something, “Damn girl,” I heard the voice say, “What happened to you?” I couldn’t respond, I was too busy trying to calm my heart from the night terror I had just had. I’ve had them before but most of the time, I would awake as soon as I saw a knife being thrust deeply into my midsection.  
It took me a few minutes before I calmed down and recognized who was whispering in my ear and holding me. There was a stinging on my face where I assumed he hit me several times to draw me out of my nightmare, “What happened?” I asked but it came out as a hoarse whisper as all the screaming had left my throat raw.  
“I don’t know. You were screaming and I couldn’t wake you,” Ren held me tighter, “What happened in your life that make you think you are dirt?”  
My face began to get red. Of all the people, I had to have that dream in front of him. It wasn’t just a dream, but of a memory, “I.. can’t talk about that now.” I replied, completely submitting and falling back on him.  
Ren held me a little tighter, “You are going to have to tell me, but I’ll leave that for a later time. Ren reached up and grabbed his blanket, covering both of us, “Do you want to talk about your dream?”  
I blinked back a few tears and shook my head, “No. Too tired,”  
I rubbed my face against his bare bicep for he hadn’t changed tops since earlier and I brought my hands up, cupped his arm and snuggled further in. “Sleep,” he said in my ear, while spooning behind me and petting my head again. Sleep quickly took me again.  
I sighed and stretched, waking up from a dreamless sleep. Last night did not leave my mind and I blushed a little at the thought of being woken up by Kylo Ren. He now knew a little part of my past, something that I had hoped no one else would know and he let me sleep on his arm while he held me through the rest of the night. I looked around since I didn’t feel his presences behind me again, and there was no sign of him. Sighing with relief, I got up and went into the shuttle, wanting to change clothes.  
The day before's rain made today a bit muggy with the sun shining brightly overhead and after grabbing something small to eat, I left the shuttle area and began my very long and mind clearing walk.  
The hike did nothing to clear my mind. In fact, all it did was make me think. During the five years of the training I had to endure, I thought it would have killed any feelings I had for anyone. I was trained to be and object. No thoughts of my own. Just orders. I was made to follow orders. The fighting skills I had acquired before hand came in useful when someone needed to be killed. That was also ingrained in me to protect who ever had ownership of me, even if it meant being killed for it.  
I stopped and leaned against a tree as I thought about Ren. My heart strained inside my rib cage as I thought about him. His smiles, his warmth, his smell, the way it he seemed to care about me was baffling. The way he held me last night after my nightmare was soothing and somewhere deep inside, I craved for that feeling again. Even when I sat at his feet as he patted my head, I knew I needed that again. But the mere thought of someone coming that close to me again was frightening. When he found out what exactly happened to me, he would turn tail and run. They all did. It’s just a matter of time that he would find out. And when he does, I had a feeling that my heart would be so crushed that I would instantly die.  
I had clearly lost all track of time because by the time I got back, it was getting dark and after clearing the tree line, I could see the glow of a fire coming from the other side of the shuttle. Walking closer and around the lake, I couldn’t hear or see Ren around but as soon as I got to the base of the ramp, “And where were you today?” his voice having a stern undertone with it.  
Looking up the ramp, I could see him sitting on the bench inside, “Out for a walk,” I replied.  
“All day?”  
“Yes, Sir. I thought that was okay,” I started to ring my hands together, looking down.  
Hearing a sigh, Ren got up and started to make his way back down the walkway, “Yes, it is alright. I just thought with your episode last night, you would want to stay close by,” he walked over to the fire, putting a box on top.  
I sat in my chair, “Oh. Well, I had to clear my mind.”  
“What do you do when something like that happened?” he asked, squatting by the pit, poking the fire with a stick.  
Confused, I looked at him, “What do you mean?”  
“What are your coping mechanisms for when you have a night terror? Or any time you feel like you are slipping from reality?”  
Thinking for a moment, “I don’t know. I usually just let it come and go on its own,”  
Ren gave me a concern look, “Everyone has some way to cope when something traumatic comes forward and takes control. A thought, gesture, stuffed animal perhaps?”  
Looking down at my folded hands in my lap, clasping them together with more force, “Then I don’t have one, Sir,” I said,  
“Yes, you do. We’ll just have to find one that works,” He stood and went back into the shuttle, this time returning with a bottle with a clear purple fluid sloshing around in it and two cups. He poured the fluid in both cup and gave one to me, “We’ll figure it out so we won’t have to worry about having another episode again,” he sat in his own chair.  
I examined the fluid for a moment, letting it swirl around in my cup. Ren was slowly nursing his own cup, taking small sips at a time. Alcohol, I thought, looking back down to my own. I mimicked his move by sipping the fluid first. It didn’t burn as I thought it was going to be. It had a fruity and warm taste to it and I let the liquid linger in my mouth before swallowing it. The warmth from the drink going through out my body.  
“I think you awoke the dead by your screams last night,” he finally said after we ate our dinner. My face began to blush again, “It must have been a terrifying dream that you didn’t even awake when I slapped you several times. My apologies about that. I wouldn’t hit you,” he gave me a look, “Unless you asked me.” Giving a him a very confused look, he just waved it off, “I do expect an explanation. But only when you are ready to talk.”  
I fell asleep that night, without being in the arms of the man sitting across from me.


	7. Chapter 7

A week went by and I had hardly seen Ren since that night. I would wake up in the morning, just in time to see him just disappearing off into the forest and at night, right before I fell asleep, he would return. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to stay away. My issues were always too much for people to deal with, so many would just cast me aside. My heart ached at this thought but I knew it was for the best. It was my punishment for having a hint of hope of someone caring about me for once.   
I found myself standing at the bank of the lake one day after lunch, looking at the waterfalls at the edge of the lake. Bending down, I dipped my hand in the water and found that it was a comfortable temperature. Looking at my hands, they were starting to become grimy and gritty and a dirt was forming under my nails. I had to clean up. Most of the days were spent walking so I knew I wasn’t going to smell good for too much longer.   
Gathering the necessary supplies and finding a couple of towels in another tote, I again stood by the bank of the lake and looked around nervously, trying to make sure that no one or anything was looking at me. Ren had been leaving first thing in the morning and coming back late at night, so taking a soak and washing up now, I wouldn’t wouldn’t be caught without clothes on. Exposed. Skin for all to see. Ugly, scared skin. Taking a deep breath, I began to take off my clothes and gently placed them on a rock nearby. Wadding into the water, toiletries in one arm and carrying the bottle with the purple liquid in the other, I walked over to where a small outcrop of rocks were a few feet away from the waterfall. It looked like a natural bench big enough for three people. It sat, facing the waterfall, and low enough that the water would be up to my neck, and a large rock behind it made a natural backrest. I put the bottle on top of the rock and stepped toward the waterfall. There was no bottom to the lake after the bench, so I just took to swimming the few yards to the waterfall.  
The pool under the fall was about two feet deep and it felt quite warm. Much different than what was in the lake. I hauled myself over the little rock wall that held the warmer water and stuck my hand into the fall. There must be a natural hot spring because this was was much warmer than the pool I was standing in. I let the water flow over top of my head and down my body, just enjoying the feeling. Sighing, I placed my hand against the rock wall behind it and closed my eyes. In this brief moment in time, I temporally felt all my troubles wash away and allowed myself to feel just the water as it hit my skin. Smiling a bit, I began to wash away the dirt and grime from the week that we were here, still not looking at where I was scrubbing because of the scars.  
After thoroughly rinsing my body and hair, I made my way back to the bench, sat sideways, knees tucked under my chin, the water covering my body. Reaching up, I took the bottle down, opened the lid and took a swig, letting the sweet tasting liquid sit in my mouth for a bit before swallowing. I leaned my head against the rock and just watched as little waves lap up against the gray stone. My mouth was beneath the water but nose was cleared so I started to make little bubbles, trying to think of nothing and enjoying the water.   
I didn’t know how long I sat there. The sun was now behind the rock and the light was starting to hit the waterfall, a rainbow forming in the small mist. Only moving every once in a while to take a sip of the liquid inside of the bottle, I had my eyes closed, immersed in the sounds of nature.   
“The water is quite comfortable,” a voice came from beside me.  
It was so shocking that I gasped, inadvertently inhaling water and splashed a bit. Coughing I looked over and all I could see was Ren, head floating above the water a few feet away, his hair was wetted down, a few strands covering his eyes, and I could see a grin starting to form. I scrambled to the farthest corner, my back hitting another stone and I curled my arms around my body, covering what I did not want to be shown. Still sputtering water, “What... what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be back till tonight.”  
He swam over and sat at the opposite side of the bench his chest clearing the water some, “I decided to come back early. I’m still waiting for a response from my contact. What are you doing out here,” he looked at me then below the water, “Naked?”  
Nudity never bothered me. Being paraded around with no clothes on didn’t bother me. The scars are what distressed me. At the academy, we had to shower together as a group, but after the sneers and side looks got to be too much, I convinced the officers to let me shower after, when there was no one else around. The memory of that made me curl up, “There is a lack of a shower on the ship and since we’ve been here for about a week, I decided to take a shower under the falls.”   
Ren looked at me then leaned forward. I shrunk back not knowing what he may do but he just raised his arm out of the water and grabbed the bottle that was above my head. He took a drink from it before capping it and looked at me, “Why do you always wear everything so long? No matter if you are working out or even out here where it’s hot, it’s always long sleeved shirts and pants.” Ducking my mouth into the water, I let out a few bubbles and noises that sounded like a response., “I don’t speak fish.” he flatly said.  
“Scars.” I replied.  
“Scars? What about scars?” he took another drink and offered it back to me. I shook my head and he placed the bottle back where it was and turned to side to better look at me giving me a view of his broad chest.   
Looking away as to not show the pain in my eyes, “I have scars.”  
“Is that it?” he snickered and sat up straighter, pointing to a few on his chest and the one that came from his face, “I have scars. Yours can’t be that bad. Besides, there isn’t anything wrong with them.”  
Sighing, “There is. Women are supposed to have perfect skin. I’m just a thing, a weapon. Weapons have scars,” I looked away back to the falls, a vacant expression on my face.  
I heard water movement and felt him move closer, snapping fingers getting my attention “Hey,” Ren said a little loudly. Looking back over to him, he had moved closer, this time about a foot away, “Stay with me here, OK?” I nodded, “Who told you that women are supposed to have perfect skin?” I couldn’t respond with an answer. He sighed, dropping the subject for a moment, “Can I see them?” I looked at him puzzled, “Your scars, may I see them?”  
No one had ever asked to see them and I was not sure if I was ready to let anyone see but something inside said it was okay, said it was alright to let him see. Biting my bottom lip, I slowly lifted my right arm out of the water. I looked away, not wanting to see the expression on his face for it would truly crush me if I did. Gentle fingers cradled my forearm and another began to trace each scar line that was on there. The fingers made their way up my arm and to my tricep area where a depression of the skin showed where a chunk of skin was town off years ago and healed differently, “These look like shackle marks,” he remarked, his hand holding mine as fingers traced around my wrist. I went to pull away but the fingers circling the wrist tighten, keeping my arm in place, “It’s not an insult. Just an observation. May I see more?” he let go. Lifting my other arm, he took it and traced the marks there as he did with the other one. This one had various burn scars, “You do realize what scars are?”  
I looked at him as he inspected my arm, “Damage?”  
“Surviving,” Ren looked at me before gently placing my arm back into the water, “You were strong enough not to let these kill you.” I sighed, trying to digest what he was saying, “Any more?” Lifting my right calf out of the water I looked away, “Are they further up your leg?” I nodded, “Hopefully, you will let me see those as well.”  
Snapping my head toward him, “Why do you care?” I said, distress evident in my voice.  
“What do you mean?” Ren looked thrown off.   
I lifted my arm up and swiped it around, “I mean, just everything. When I left the infirmary and you were there in my rooms scolding me, making me feel like a child. I don’t believe for one second that you would do that for any one on your staff. Or when you escorted me back to my room after, that incident..,”  
“Which I still expect an explanation,” he interrupted but I ignored that.  
“When you called me good girl, or little girl, patting my head, or when you held me after my nightmare. Why do you care so much about me? Why would you want to? I’m a broken individual. Just a weapon.”  
I ran my hands across my face, trying to make sense of the whole situation and hiding the tears that were starting to fall. Hands grasped my own made and I looked up. Ren stared into my eyes, a concern look on his face as he held my hands, “I don’t know. There is something about you that I am drawn to. You are an enigma, Septa,” he brushed a hair away from my face and I felt tingles in my cheek as he brushed against it, “There something inside of me that cries out to protect you, to care for you, to make sure your well being is ensured, and to provide everything that you would need. I’ve never felt that before, in anyone.” he dipped his head lower and leaned in further.  
My lower lip started to quiver. With the fear of what might be happening, I made a weak, last ditch effort to stop him, “But I’m not your type. The women I saw you with..,”  
“She was a paid whore,” he cut me off, “She gets paid to look that way. To provide a service to a variety of men. You, are nothing like that.” he moved closer.  
I looked down to see that he had moved his hands down to gently circle my wrists. Was there a possibility that someone actually cared about me and not when I could do for them? Taking a deep breath, I looked up into his eyes and relaxed a bit. “Will you allow me to take care of you?”  
I bit my lip again, trying to figure out if I could trust someone again. My heart was beating harder than I have ever felt before and the butterflies in my stomach were screaming to be let out. Ren leaned even closer to me, taking my wrists and slowly bringing behind my back, my chest sticking out but still below the water, before gathering them both in one hand and holding them there. He brought his free hand up and cupped the side of my face, tilting it up. I leaned into his touch and a forgotten feeling of desire began to rise. He finally closed the gap and brought his lips down to meet mine. It was a gentle kiss but I could feel his lips tingling against mine and without knowing, I let out a small moan. Ren brought free hand up and traveled into my hair. He gripped some of it, not enough to pull hair but enough to have control of my head and pressed his mouth further into mine. My doubts and worries immediately fell away as the warm sensation of his lips on mine spread throughout my body.  
I felt his tough peeking through, asking for entry and I obliged, letting the appendage inside, exploring and running against my own tongue. Giving out a little whimper of disappointment when he pulled away, I panted as I fought to catch my breath. He rested his forehead against mine and I could also hear his heavy breathing, his hand still holding my wrists behind my back and hand in my hair, but I didn’t mind. It felt nice. Opening my eyes, I looked into his and I could see a fire building behind them, “I won't do anything you don’t want me to do,” he whispered, “At least not yet,” he gave me a smirk. Nodding, I began to relax and stretch out my legs.  
Kylo brought his hand down and maneuvered me to where I was straddling his lap, his hands still holding mine behind my back, my breasts now out of the water. Letting go, he brought both arms to encircle my body and I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer, before kissing me again. My breasts were pressed into his chest as he hugged my tightly. Ren eventually broke away from my mouth but his lips started to move down my jawline before gently sucking on the skin below my ear. I groaned, tensing up a bit at the new sensation. He began to make his way down to my neck before I pulled back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, covering my neck with both hands and looking away. He brought his hands up and gently pried mine away, revealing scars that surrounded my neck.  
“There is nothing to be ashamed about,” he said, bringing my hands around to my back again, fully exposing my neck, “It was cruel who ever put a metal shackle around it,” again, his free hand came up and traced the marks that were there. Ren pulled me closer and whispered in my ear, “I would have put a soft leather collar around on you,” and he began to kiss all the way around my neck, enticing a moan from my throat. I should have been appalled at the mere mention of anything that would tie me down, to restrict me, but the thought of Ren doing that to me was exciting. I felt a coil being wound deep within me as he continued to explore the disfigurement around my neck and nibble on my ear. Knowing exactly what was starting inside my body, I had to stop before we went any further. As much as I wanted to copulate right here and now, deep down I wanted to wait.  
“Please,” I moaned out, “We... we have to stop,”  
He paused, “What’s wrong?” he whispered.  
I panted, “I.. I want to wait.”  
He released my hands and maneuvered me to as to where I was sitting sideways on his lap, his evident hardness poking into my hip and his arms circling around me holding me close, “Mine,” he growled, and for once, I didn’t mind.  
Ren began to run his fingers through my wet hair as I snuggled into his chest and we sat there for a while, watching the changing of the colors in the sky from the sunset. I was perfectly happy just staying here, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his warmth. The feeling that I had been trying to keep down was out and for once, I didn’t fight it. He brought one hand up, touched below my chin and raised it before kissing me again. It felt like heaven.   
Separating, he whispered, “I need to wash up. Are you going to stay here?” I nodded, “Good girl,” and he pressed a kiss to my forehead as he shifted me off of his lap.  
I smiled and blushed a little at the remark as he swam over to the pool. As Ren hauled himself up, I got a nice view of his backside before looking away, not wanting to see anymore than I needed to. Reaching up, I grabbed the bottle and caught a glimpse of my arm. It’s been a while since I did that. The lines and burns were all over the place but this time, I wasn’t repelled by them. Still appalled by how they came to be, they started to not look that bad to me. I opened the bottle and took another drink, letting the high of earlier continue to flow.   
It didn’t take him long before he swam back over, “Let’s get back to the ship. It’s about dinner time,”  
Getting back to the bank, I walked over to where I placed the towels, first handing Ren one and then taking another for myself. As I started to dry, my towel was ripped away from me and I instinctively covered my midsection, blocking the view of other disfigurements. He stood there, a towel wrapped around his waist and a smirk on his lips before coming over and began to pat my arm with the towel, slowly drying me, before getting to my back. Here, he paused and traced his finger down many of the lines down my back and over my backside. I shivered at the touch and he brought the towel up to wrap around my hair. Walking around, Ren then picked up a shirt I had brought over. He opened the bottom and I slid my arms into the arm holes and he shoved the opening for the head over mine before pulling the hem down. Next, he held out the pants, and with a smile, I stepped in one pant leg at a time until I had both legs in. I bit my lip as he slowly slid them up, his thumb dragging against my skin, and button the top. Ren cupped my head in both of his hands, leaned down and kisses me again, this time a lighter one, “Let’s go find something to eat,” he whispered against my lips.  
He turned around and grabbed his own discarded clothes before walking up the small moss covered hill, still only wearing the towel. Picking up my own shoes and dirty clothes, I followed. Placing them at the base of the ramp, I let him have a little privacy while changing before heading over to the pit and gathering the necessary items to start a fire.  
Ren came back out shortly, this time in a pair of black shorts and another black tank top, his hair starting to dry a bit and water droplets clinging onto the ends. He also had two boxes in his hand. “I think these are some sort of bird,” he said walking over. Taking out his lightsaber, he ignited it and touched it to one of the logs. It immediately caught fire and he put the weapon back down. He then placed the boxes next to me before facing away from the fire, looking around. I saw him place his hand out and made an up gesture. Rumbling came from behind me and I saw him walking backwards a bit, still having his hand out. A large boulder with a flat side came into our area, floating, and heading in my direction, and I quickly gathered the food boxes and moved off to the side before he gently placed the rock a few feet away from the fire.  
Astonished, I stood there with the boxes in my hand, mouth agape, “How did you do that?”  
Ignoring me, Ren placed several more logs on the fire before coming over to me, taking a box, then sat at the base of the rock. “Come,” he said, holding out his hand.  
I shook my head for a moment before taking my own box and sitting next to him. We ate in silence but it was a comfortable silence. The only sound was that of the fire crackling in front of us and the argument going through my head. On the bench, he had asked if I would let him take care of me. I am perfectly capable of taking care of my self. Have been doing it for most of my life. So why did that statement appeal to me? Deep down, I had wanted someone to take away all the stress, all the anxiety. To make decisions for me. Sure, I had that once with Divine Strasse, but that was forced slavery, never to have my own voice and cast aside when my use was not needed. Was Ren really letting on that he had wanted to pursue something between us even after seeing my defective skin? Wondering what he would do and say if he heard about what happened in the past, I was brought out of my mussing with a tug on my arm. I was pulled until I was sitting comfortably between his legs and his arms wrapped around me, folding my hands together and letting them rest on my lap. His chin rested on my head and we sat staring into the fire. There was a comfort in this hold that I felt. Like, if the world came crashing down all around me, I would be safe right here.   
It was now or never, before we took this too far, that I began to explain my background. There were things that he needed to know, and for me to finally tell, “I was young when I was first introduced into a cult, about thirteen. They had this thought that the world was going to end and needed people to defend their compound, so after talking to a few of the adults there, they took me and several others to start training in combat instead of assigning me on house duties, and was pushed to my limits so hard during training that sometimes I passed out,”  
“Where were your parents?” he asked, holding me a little closer.  
“I was raised by my grandparents. My parents left me there when I was a baby and I never got to see them in person. The training got more and more intense as the years went on and eventually I would go on to beat the boys in almost everything. Fighting, shooting, and in stamina. I was growing up to be formidable fighter and a ruthless killer. The leader of our group was pleased and said that we needed people like me around to defend our compound no matter what,  
“When I turned 18, it was when the more intense training started. It was also the time I lost my innocence. The older fighters and leaders said that no virgin could be allowed to fight next to them as they considered them children. Only losing my virginity would I be considered an adult and would be able to do adult things. So that night, one of them came into my room and took it away from me. He wasn’t harsh, except, he wanted to rush through it.”  
I paused, thinking back on those days, “Was that your only time ever being with a man?” Ren ask.  
Shaking my head and snickered a bit, “No, he was the first though. But then it all went down hill for me about a year later. We were in the courtyard just walking around, doing our patrol when a large ship suddenly appeared out of the sky and landed. A lot of people ran screaming into their homes with their children while a few men came out to approach the craft. I walked with them but stopped when a ramp came down. A large slug thing came slithering down, with a few other creatures with guns I had never seen before. Our leader stepped forward and asked what it wanted. The thing said a few things and one of his partners interpreted. They were looking for a skilled fighter take take with them and we had about sixty seconds to make our choice before they lay waste to our entire planet. It never occurred to me that the statement was an all out lie. So without thinking, I stepped forward. My training made me place the well being of others before myself,” I brought my knees up, “They told me to gather anything I needed and I had five minutes,”  
“Was it the Divine ?” he said.  
Nodding, “Yeah. So I got my stuff and ran back. I was shoved into the ship, and as the ramp was being raised, my things were taken away and I was striped. They attached metal cuffs to my wrists and a matching collar before shoving me into a room. There were twelve others just like me, a mix of girls and boys, most cowering in a corner. That’s when my other training began. Not only was I stripped of clothing, I was also stripped of my name and I still don’t remember what is was prior to leaving. We were only known by a number and had spent several months getting beaten and broken, brainwashed until we would only answer to that. We were taught that dirt held more value then our own lives and specifically told me that no man would want me so all I was good for was a killer. It was their intention that I was to be sold as a protector and a slave to who ever I would call master,”  
His thumbs began to rub my upper arms, “So, how did you get to be at the academy?”  
I sighed, “None of us were supposed to be seen as we were not registered and had no recorded past. It was about five years after I was taken that they stopped at the academy because one of the officers had ordered something off galaxy. The group had left but they left the ramp down. At this point, I earned the right to have clothes so being curious, I wandered off of the ship and stepped out into the sunlight. It was the first time in a long while that I felt the warmth of a sun and I stood there, watching the various ships land and take off repeatedly. They were something that was much different than I had ever seen where I came from. It was then that one of the officers saw me and questioned Divine on who I was. I was given a dark look by Deni, one of his men with blasters before the trader told him something. He waved me over as the man went back inside of the ship for a moment. Obediently, I walked over and was told that he was bringing a new recruit for the academy. After a small discussion, he was given a data pad, signed something and I think money was passed between the two. My things that I had thought were long gone, were dropped off next to me and before they left, Deni took hold of my arm and told me that they would always be watching. He warned me not to forget my training and to make sure I was doing as I was told. A few years went by, I graduated, and was stationed on the Finalizer, as your pilot.” I leaned against his arm.  
There was silence after that, the words sinking in to both of our thoughts, “Remind me to rip out his heart the next time I see him,” he squeezed harder, making his intentions known that he wasn’t going to let go any time soon.  
The sun had long set and a cool breeze came though our camp, the glow of the fire lighting just what was around us. My eyes were growing heavy as bringing up those old memories took a lot of energy. Being wrapped up in strong, warm arms were also not helping and pretty soon, I was nodding off. I jerked my head back and made contact with something hard, “That was my nose,” Ren said, bringing his hand around to rub it.  
“Sorry,” I replied, a small smirk on my face.  
“It’s OK,” he patted my arm, “I think it’s time for you to go to sleep. Sitting like this, for the entire night will be uncomfortable,”   
I brought my hands up to rub my eyes, “I’ll go get the bedding,” getting up.   
Walking back to the fire with both bundles in my hand, I saw that Ren had placed more wood on the fire. He held his hand out for his bundle, I gave him his, then mine after being requested for it. He then rolled them both out, side by side and motioned for me to lay down. Kicking my shows off, I laid down and he did the same. We soon fell asleep, legs and arms entwined.

The sound of the rain awoke me the next morning. The pillow I was laying face down on was soft and warm with a heartbeat thumping inside. Opening my eyes just a crack, I realized I was laying on someone's chest. It was Ren’s. I laid there for a minute, enjoying the contact, and thinking about what had happened the day before. Never wanting to reveal what my past was like, I knew I had to in order for him to understand what he might be getting himself into. Others before had drawn back in disgust at the mentions of what tortures I had to endure, but not the Supreme Leader. There was a blanket of safety that radiated from him. Even when I first saw Ren, thought he was being an ass, I felt kind of safe.  
I began to stretch and wiggle to sit up, but his arm came around my back and held me tighter, “No,” he sleepily said.  
Deciding to settle back down, I brought my hand up and touched his cloth covered chest before kissing the exposed skin next to it. A deep groan came from deep within his chest and I tilted my head up to that his eyes were still closed but his brow was furled. My hand started to rub across to the other side and the arm that was around my back traveled up past my shoulders and a hand went into my hair, massaging the scalp.  
“I'm going to look for some breakfast,” I told him, placing my hand on his chest and pushed upwards. His arm fell away, allowing me to get up and stand. I stretched again before putting my shoes on and making a quickly walking to the shuttle. Coming back, Ren was still laying down but he had his hands behind his head and looking at me. Getting to the fire pit, I frowned that it was completely out.  
“Use my saber,’ he said, pointed with his foot over to where it was sitting next to his shoes. Carefully, I picked up the weapon as I sat on my knees. It was heavier than I thought it was going to be. “How do I turn it on?” I looked over to him  
Kylo sat up on his elbows with a puzzled look on his face, “You’ve used it before.”  
“When?”  
He fully sat up, “You don’t remember?” I shook my head, “It was about a month ago when that traitor tried to slay me down.”  
“I only remember seeing you on the ground then waking up the next morning.” I tried to think back to that night.  
He crawled over to me the few steps and took my hand that had the weapon in it, kneeling next to me, “The black button,” and he guided my finger over to it and pressed. The saber came to life in my hands. I could feel the hum of the blade going through the hilt and the crackling, red blade was magnificent. He guided my hand down so that the tip just touched the top of the wood, setting it alight. We turned it off and I let it go into his hands, “You seemed to have disconnected yourself that night.” he started to explain, “When I woke, I saw you, ready to run my saber straight through That former troopers chest.” he stood, wiping his hands on his shorts “You only halted when I said stop,” Ren grabbed my hand and dragged me back over to the rock. He then settled back against it and maneuvered me to sit between his legs. I was trying to remember, “When I finally got you to give me my weapon back, you kept repeating that you had to protect your master, and talking about numbers” I tensed and started to struggle. I may have already told him about my past but hearing it come from someone else's mouth was something much different. Trying to push away, he tightened his grip, keeping me in his arms, “Calm down,” he said in my ear, “It’s okay. I had to forcefully make you walk back with me to the ship and back to your room. Your eyes didn’t show any emotion. Now I know why.” It was the first time in a long while that I wanted to cry.   
“No no no,” I whispered out, my face getting red, “You weren't supposed see that. No one was,” I struggled again but he held on tighter.  
“Settle down,” he said, time with more authority behind his voice, “Do not be embarrassed about what has happened in the past. It’s just that, the past.” I was trying to calm my breathing as he continued to speak, “I want to know what you are thinking. You may have explained to me last night what had happened to you, but I have a feeling there is more behind it,” I began to cry. Something that was possibly going to happen between us was about to get squashed and thrown away and I didn’t know if I could live after that, “Will you let me into your mind?”   
That statement stilled my movements, “How?” I whispered, confused.  
“Will you let me?” he insisted. I had heard about Ren having the ability to extract anything from anyone by ripping through their minds as they were being tortured. Was this going to be the same? Trusting that he knew what he was doing, I just nodded. He brought his hand up to my forehead and just lightly touched it before I felt myself being sucked backwards, flashes of memory popping up everywhere. The intrusion became a surprise to me and I inadvertently dropped my mental guards. Memories of my time with Divine came up. The torture and pain I endured at their hands. The unspeakable acts I was forced to suffer through shown and this time, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Ren was now able to see my past like an open book, but then it switched. It became my time at the academy. The lessons being taught and my flying skills honed. It served to calm me if only for a moment before the memory of the night where I defended Ren. The acts of that night now becoming clear and where my mind had taken me. I started to feel panicked and exposed, my whole world crashing down on me, and I felt weak and helpless. Then suddenly, I was back, sitting in front of the fire, wrapped up in his arms. “I will tell you this over and over again until you get it through your thick skull. You are not weak. Everything that you have been through has proven that you are not weak. Never think that.” he said, growling in my ear.  
Nodding, “Okay.” I whispered, my breathing starting to calm as he held me tight.   
We sat there like that, breakfast forgotten as the rain kept coming down. I eventually let my head roll back to rest on his chest and his hands started to rub up and down my upper arm over and over again. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of being touched by another individual. It was something that I had thought would never happen. The hands eventually went to my forearm where when he reached my wrists and gave them a small squeeze, I gave small intake of breath, tilted my head back a bit more, and gave a small moan. I knew I shouldn’t have like it, but deep down I did. “Don’t play,” he growled in my ear.  
Before I could even think about what I was saying, “I’m not,” I replied, my eyes closed. Then everything happened in one quick motion and I was laying on the ground, on my back, with both hands pinned beside my head by one of his. Ren had a very serious look on his face as he hovered above me, straddling my waist as my eyes grew wide.  
“Do not go down a path you can not come back from,” he leaned forward, “Given your past, I can cease many things that I like to see that you are safe and of sound mind.”  
His grip on my wrists were tight but not hurtful as I gave them a little tug. What was he really willing to give up for me? I’ve had only one snippet of what he was interested in and the innuendos that was directed toward me for reference. Deep inside, I had a feeling of what that was and it made me shiver with anticipation. But, I knew I could trust him, “I have so much doubt and anxiety. Can you deal with my baggage?” I looked at him square in the eye.  
“No, I can not,” I began to look away in understanding. Ren passed both of my captured wrist to one of his hands and he grasped my chin, tilting it back up to meet his eyes, “But together we can.”  
“Then, I think, together, we can walk that path,” The next thing I knew, his lips crashed into mine and I arched my back, giving into the feelings that were starting to boil inside. It was a most glorious feeling I had ever had. Everything that had happened to me was laid out in my mind and for once, someone was not repulsed by it. This might actually work out.  
With a panting breath, he broke away, “I’m not a nice man, Septa. But I won’t do anything that would hurt you, mentally or emotionally,”  
Nodding, I asked, “What about physical?”  
He grinned, “No, I can not promise you that, but we will get to that when the time comes,” and he bent down and kissed me again, his hand still grasping my chin.   
A few minutes past and we laid there, panting, Ren still having a strong grip on my wrist and chin. I whimpered a little as he pulled away and let go of my wrists, sitting up on my stomach “The rain stopped,” he said looking down at me.  
Nodding, I placed my hands on his knees, “I noticed. Are you leaving?”  
He slowly rolled off of me, “Sadly, yes. But big plans are starting to form.”  
“What are your plans?” I sat up.  
He took his shoes and leaned on the edge of the rock, putting each one on, “I’m going to stop this war.”  
Cocking my eyebrows, “And how exactly are you going to do that?”  
He walked past me and back into the shuttle. Coming out, Ren had changed his shirt into one of his longer sleeved ones, “I can’t tell you. Not yet at least,” he walked over, “Stay safe. I’ll be back as soon as I can,”  
“Yes, Sir,” I said, a slight tease in my voice.  
He growled again and bent down to ravish my mouth, “Just you wait,” he said before leaving again.  
I watched as he made his was over to the forest and disappear behind the same the tree line he had taken many times before. Sitting back against the rock, I was once again alone with my thoughts. But this time, it wasn’t as bad. Could I have finally found someone that didn’t turn away when they found out about my past? It didn’t really bother me knowing that he was the most powerful man in the galaxy. Ren was very difficult to read. He promised not to hurt me but couldn’t promise anything in the physical part. Sure, being hurt physically wasn’t a new thing for me. I had been beaten and abused many times before but I had a feeling that any physical pain I would endure from him, wouldn’t have the same malice behind it as I had felt before. My heart was screaming that it was time to let someone into my life, while my brain was a bit more reserved. It wanted to know if this was the right decision. There was still more that I had to talk to Ren about so, with a small smile, I decided to go out for a walk. After changing, I went along a path I had forged from my previous journeys, with a little bit more spring in my step.

I came back around lunchtime and found Ren, sitting with his back to the rock and head rolled back, napping. Creeping closer, I admired how peaceful he looked when in slumber. Even thought I had seen it a few times before, this time I looked at it in a different light. The worry and concern gone from his brow and the peace of sleep resting there. Carefully, I stood over him, feet on either side of his knees before lowering and straddling his thighs. He gave a sharp intake of breath before leaning his head to the side, exposing his neck. Deciding to give him a dose of his own medicine, I leaned in and started to place small, open mouthed kisses from the adam's apple up toward his exposed ear. I felt him starting to move under me and I leaned further in to suckle on his ear lobe. Hands gently landed high on my outer thighs and began to massage the cloth covered skin there. Hearing and feeling a deep moan come from him, I made my way back down his jawline and down the throat. The hands then grabbed my legs firmly and he pushed his pelvis up. Then, I felt a harness pressing into my crotch and that made me pause and pull back a moment. The feeling wasn’t foreign to me, but the fact that something else had touched down there that was not myself was startled me, “What’s wrong?” he asked as I pulled away.  
“It’s nothing,” I said, sitting still and looking away.  
Ren placed his hand on my cheek, forcing me back to look into his eyes, “Tell me,”  
I blushed, “It’s... it’s been a while.”   
“A while?”  
“Since I’ve been, touched,” he raised his eyebrows, “There. By something that wasn’t me,”  
He dropped his hand back to my thigh, “Define a while.”  
I sighed, hugging my stomach, “A while as in I was still in the academy.”  
Ren shifted his hands to rest on my hips and his legs up to brace against my back, “So, it probably won’t take much, will it?”  
Giving him my own questionable look, “What are you planing?”  
“Not anything that you are not comfortable with, yet. You said to wait, so wait I will,” I could tell something was forming in his head.  
Biting my lip, I leaned forward and pressed my chest against his, “Thank you,” I said before kissing his lips.  
His hands traveled up my back and one hand threaded through my hair before breaking the kiss, “It’s okay.” he pulled my head away gently, “It will be even more delicious when I get to deflower you,”  
“I’ve had sex.” giving him a blunt look.  
He smirked, “Careless frotting doesn’t count. When it comes time, I’ll show you how it’s supposed to feel,” he growled at the end before harshly kissing me again.  
Over the next few days, Ren would leave for where ever he took his device but would be back right after lunch. He would then accompany me on my walks and usually I take these strolls at a brisker pace but, walking with him, I went slower, enjoying his company.  
One night, we were laying on the moss surrounding the shuttle, away from the light pollution of the fire, my head resting on his bicep, “Where are you from?” he inquired as we looked up at the stars.  
Thinking, “I can’t tell you exactly. When I was taken, I never got to look outside any window. But it’s a planet that we called Earth.”  
“Earth? Like soil?”  
“Yeah. This galaxy has such unique names. Our solar system has just eight plants. We also didn’t have space travel.”  
“How primitive,” he remarked.   
I gently hit his chest, “Hey. I came from there.”  
“And I’m glad you did.” he took my hand and kissed it. “What was your galaxy's name?”  
“Milky way. It was named that way because it looked like someone spilled milk across the sky.”  
“Do you miss it?” he held me tighter.  
I thought about that for a second. Did I really miss earth? “I would have to say yes and no.”  
“Would you like to go back someday?” he held me closer. I twisted and rested my head in the crook of his arm.  
“I wouldn’t mind. There were so many pretty places to visit.”  
He just hummed a response and we laid there in silence again as he rubbed my back.

Ren left one day after lunch, dressed in his uniform that he usually wore back on the Finalizer. He usually went in the morning but this time was different. He told me that he had finally came in contact with someone who could help make his plan happen and he would be back as soon as possible. I sat on the bridge, watching the sky turn different colors as the sun set, and the most eerie feeling started to lurk inside, like something was about to happen. Getting worried, I went outside, just to wait for Ren. The warm breeze came through the camp and I felt the uneasiness increase as more of the sun rays disappeared and the planets double full moon came up from the horizon. Eventually the wind died down and with the stillness, the trees didn’t move and area was quiet.  
Eventually, the only light in the sky was the twin moons and I stood at the bottom of the ramp, looking off into the direction Kylo took every day. That awful feeling was coming from that area and I began to pace, wringing my hands in worry, hoping that he would walk through any moment. I knew Ren told me to never to go in the direction, but there were many things that he told me not to do and I did them anyway. Going against direct orders, and following my instinct, I walked and entered, following a path he had trodden down. I had only gone on a few hundred feet when I heard shouts, then blaster noises.  
My heart skipped a beat, and I took off running in the direction of the comotion. The thoughts of a few weeks came about and I panicked, knowing that Ren was in the same situation as before. I had just come across a small valley and stopped at the edge, clutching to a boulder. Ren was down there, fighting against the same three bun girl and deflecting blaster bolts from another near the resistance landing craft. There was an older lady shouting to the others to stop and I could only stop and stare at the carnage below me. Ren was so concentrated that he never saw another sneaking around the back. But I did. It was the traitor. I watched as he came around the back side of the craft, no one paying any attention, and a blaster in his hand. He was creeping around and trying to find the right shot. I knew I had to find a way to get Kylo’s attention while not distracting him from the fight. I was about to scramble down the small hill when the traitor raised his blaster. My heart started to pound faster and faster, the only thing I could concentrate on was the weapon. Tunnel vision began to creep around and before I knew it, he fired.  
“No!” I screamed, holding out my hand, praying that Ren would notice and come out unharmed.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything was at a standstill. Nothing moved and the only sound was the cracking of lightsabers and my heavy breathing. A strange, flowy feeling was running out of my palm and toward the single shot that was fired that was stopped, mere inches away from Ren’s head. I began to shake as I saw him look at the stopped bolt, his face illuminated with a bluish glow, and back at me, eyes wide. Turning to his side, he took a step back, away from the killer shot and away from the girl. She mirrored his movements and I saw that everyone had stood upright and was staring at me. My arm shook and I could feel my hand start to tingle. But when Ren took a step towards my direction, lightsaber still turned on, I quickly withdrew, the bolt being released, and exploded a small rock nearby. Everyone covered their faces and ducked as small shards of stone went scattering around. Ren looked back up to me again and I turned around and ran.  
I faintly heard my name being shouted but I knew I had to leave. Panic filled me as my feet flew like never before. I leapt over fallen trees and ducked under branches as I ran back in the direction where I knew our ship was. Tears started to form in my eyes, clouding my vision. I didn’t know what to do. I disobeyed an order again and I knew that Master was angry at me. My mind began to slip backwards again as I raced out of the trees and along the bank of the lake. Before those thoughts could fully envelop me, my foot caught an exposed root and I tumbled, a sharp rock slicing into my calf as I fell forward into the lake. I coughed water that had gotten into my lungs, on my hands and knees, as I sat there a moment, catching my breath.   
Then I heard a faint commotion and feet sliding on rocks behind me. The crackle of a lightsaber was also there and I slowly turned over to see Ren standing, staring at me, the glow of his weapon reflecting off of his face, giving him an eerie glow.  
He looked angry and I fell again, on my rear, and I began to crabwalk back, further into the water. I was the first to speak, “I... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have followed, Master. I am sorry,” my mind, slipping again.  
I vaguely heard several other footsteps running up as Ren looked down at me, “Shit,” I heard him say before turning off is weapon, clipping it to his belt, and coming over to me, dropping to his knees beside me in the water, “Septa,” he shouted, his arm supporting my back as he tilted my face toward him, “Come back to me.” I was still shaking while looking into his eyes, “Come on. Where are you?”  
“Mas.. sir...” I stammered.  
“Where are you?” he shook me a little.  
“I.. Ky..” I could feel my past ebbing away.  
“Yes, yes. Who am I?” he tapped my face a bit.  
“Master...” there was a sharp intake of breath behind him, “Not... master. Ky... Ren. Kylo Ren.”  
He exhaled and pulled me into a hug, “Yes. I’m here.”  
“I’m.. I shouldn’t have gone that way. You told me not to but I did,” I squeezed my eyes tight.  
“You never do what you are told,” he pulled away, “But you did save my life,” He brought his hand back up and touched my temple. Pulling his sleeve so that it was now covering his hand, he dipped it into the water and began to dab at a wound that I didn’t know of.  
As I went to move my leg to get into a better position, pain shot though it and I hissed, grabbing at the wound. We both looked down and saw my pant leg ripped from the knee down as well as a deep gash on the calf, “Fuck,” I shouted out loud grabbing at it.  
“I need to stop the bleeding,” He went to fumble for his wide belt clasp when a hand appeared out of nowhere, holding onto a cream colored cloth.  
Ren slowly looked up. The older lady was holding out her scarf, standing in the water next to us. He cautiously took the cloth out of her hands then began to wrap my calf to try to stop the bleeding, “I need to get you back to the ship. You’re going to bleed out,” I was then lifted, cradled in his arms, and carried back to the shuttle. The older lady was following behind us as were the three very surprised resistance fighters.  
His long strides made quick work of the distance to the craft and as Ren walked up the ramp, some of the lights flickered on and he sat me down on one of the benches. He then went over to one of the boxes, flung off the lid and rummaged through the contents.  
Spilling some objects on the floor, he dropped to his knees and gently lifted my leg. Ripping off the bottom part of my pant leg, he took off the scarf and began to clean my wound. He put some bacta on the wound and I hissed through my teeth as it stung. Ren stopped and looked up at me, “It’s okay. It’s going to stop the bleeding” The older lady came walking into the ship and sat down on the bench across from us. She put her cane out in front of her and rested her chin on the handle just watching.  
After he finished bandaging, he raised up on his knees and leaned toward me, “Thank you,” he said, taking my head in his hands again and kissing me gently, “Are you okay now?” he whispered.  
Placing my hands over his, “Yeah, I think so,”  
“I am sorry Ben,” the lady said, “Poe was the only one that was supposed to come. I didn’t know they snuck aboard,”  
“Ben?” I inquired, not knowing it was said out loud.  
I saw Ren close his eyes for a moment, “Ben is gone. It’s only Kylo Ren now.”  
“No. Kylo Ren would never be this caring for any one. But Ben Solo would,” she remarked.  
Ren sat back on his heels and looked at me. Placing his hands on my knees, he gave them a small squeeze and looked me straight in the eyes, “Because Kylo Ren has never met anyone he found worth caring for.”  
Standing, he turned towards the older lady, “Shall we discuss what we all came here for?”  
She nodded, “Yes. I’ll go outside and tell them to calm down and let us talk.” she looked at me, gave a small but warm smile and left the ship.  
When Ren turned back around, I gave out a shiver and clutched my arms closer to by body for warmth, “Are you cold?” he asked, bending down and placing a hand on my arm.  
“Yeah.” The water had soaked my clothes and with my adrenaline gone, the cold of the night began to seep in. He went back over to the boxes and opened one. Pulling out something large and black, he unfurled it and I saw that it was his cloak. The last time I had seen it, it was when we departed the last planet we were on. Ren then placed the black mass around my shoulder, making sure that it covered my front.  
Placing the hood over my head, he tilted my head up, “We are going to go back out there. I’ll start a fire so you can get warm.” Trying to lift myself up, I was stopped by his hand on my shoulder. In a quick maneuver, I was again cradled in his arms as he walked outside and over to his chair that was the closest to the fire.  
After the fire was started, I could see the three on the other side, standing, looking ready for a fight and the older lady sitting in my chair. Ren made sure that his cloak was tightly around me before regarding the guests, “General Organa, I wish to discuss plans to stopping this war,” hushed murmeres came from the other three.  
She nodded, “Yes, I agree. It’s been going on long enough. What do you propose?”  
“A union of some sorts. A joining of the faces of the First order and the Resistance. They would work together in bringing order and civility back to this galaxy.” he stood behind me, hands gently placed on my shoulders. I watched as the three in the background, hurriedly talking to each other.  
The General looked over her shoulder at the trio, “What type of union are you proposing?”  
“Marriage.” he flatly said.  
“Marriage?” we all said in unison.   
Ren sighed and rubbed my shoulders, “Yes. Between one of the most recognized faces of both factions. They would bring both sides together as one again, before Emperor Palpatine plagued us with this cancer and Snoke driving the wedge even deeper,”  
She leaned back in the chair, “And who do you propose would get married?” she asked.  
“Besides yourself, who is the face of the Resistance?” Was this his whole plan to end the war? The two sides, married into each other?  
“Well that would be Ray,” I could see the girl glaring at Ren now.  
I looked up and saw that he placed a palm on his chest, “Then she would marry...,” he was cut off by the girl tromping closer to the fire. My breathing stopped. Was Ren really proposing the he would marry the girl.  
“If you think for a second I would marry you...,” It was his turn now.  
“Not me you fool.” she straightened and I let out a breath, heartbeat returning to normal, “My General. Hux. I have no interest in marrying someone like you.” he sneered.  
She looked offended, “And what is wrong with marrying someone like me?”  
“There was a time where I thought that could happen. That if we joined together, the force would more stronger than ever, and we would rule the galaxy together,” his voice rose and the hand that was left on my shoulder squeezed harder ,then released, “But you are far too headstrong.” he glared at her.  
Rey huffed, “So you like your women as slaves?” she waved her hand toward me, “To bend at your will? I heard her call you master,” her face scrunched in disgust, “That is sick, even for you, picking on the weak and frail.”  
My head snapped up and this time, I was glaring daggers at this girl. “I am not weak,” I said through gritted teeth.  
“Calm down,” I heard Ren say above me, moving his hand so that it was at the base of my neck and squeezed, “Do not speak of things you know nothing about,” anger rising in his voice.  
Organa spoke up, trying to diffuse the situation, “Does Hux know about this?”   
“No. He will try to fight it.”  
The ex trooper finally spoke, standing next to Ray and Poe walked forward with him, “What about the rest of the First Order?”   
“There will be some confusion, but the other officers feel that it is time to end this. Too many people have died trying to prove a point they don’t even know.” his hand left my neck as he stood next to me.  
“Do I not get a say in this?” Ray spoke up again, “We are talking about marriage between myself and Hux.”  
The older lady spoke first, “Of course you do. But just remember, to end wars, there must be some sort of sacrifice. On both ends.” she looked at her.  
She threw her hands in the air, “I feel that I’m getting the wrong end of this deal. If I marry him, what am I going to be then? Some floor mat that he could walk across. I would have no say in anything.”  
“No,” Kylo spoke out, “Did you not listen to anything I said,” his voice raised as he stepped toward her, “You and Hux would rule over this galaxy. You would both have shared responsibility.”  
Poe spoke, with confusion evident in his voice, “So, they would have the only say of what happens in the galaxy?”  
“No. There are finer details that would have to be worked out. But, we will bring back the senate so that every system has a voice. What ever rule,” Ren waved his hand at her, “Hux and Ray make, would have to go through some sort of committee,” Ren walked back around and placed a hand on my shoulder, making little circles with his thumb.  
“What about you? You’re named Supreme Leader.” Poe said again.  
“My role is not of importance. But General Organa and myself would be there to provide counsel and advice to the two, should they need it.”  
Silence once again washed over the camp. Each person, deep within their own thoughts about the proposed truce and union. Inside, my stomach was growling. It’s been a while since we’ve had lunch and dinner time was long ago. His hand moved to the top of my head and was massaging my scalp.  
“When would this happen?” Ray spoke up as she waved her hand, silencing the protests of her friends.  
“I have to break the news to Hux first. You would also have to meet him. The date can be arranged at a later date.” Tension began to disintegrate between the six of us. The end of the war was heavy on everyone's minds.  
I could see Rey really thinking about it as she looked off over to where the lake was. General Organa turned in her seat to regard the girl, “Ray, it’s your decision,”  
She turned to Ren, “It would end the war?”  
“Yes,” he replied.  
“Why now?” Poe asked.  
Ren started to pet the top of my head and I looked up. He was staring at me, his face relaxed and soft, “Too much pain. If it doesn't end now, I fear all the death and carnage will cause the end of our galaxy.”  
“When do I meet him?” Rey spoke.  
He only moved his eyes to look at her, “Are you agreeing?”  
She sighed and crossed her arms, “If it means that no one else has to die, then yes.” She stood straight.   
“Good,” he replied, a smile forming on his face. Taking a step away from me and to the general, Ren asked if he could speak with her for a moment. I watched as they disappeared into the shuttle, for a little privacy and I was left alone in front of the fire, with the three. Staring into the fire, I generally ignored their talking and whispering, and snuggled deeper into the cloak that still had his smell still on it. When he first talked about marriage, I really felt as though he was talking about himself and the girl. The events that transpired between us the last few days came crashing down all around me. All the talking he had done, all the revealing I had done, I felt was a lie. That was until Ren said it would be between Rey and Hux.   
I could feel eyes staring at me. Unasked question begging to be let out, “Will you please stop staring at me?” I told them, my eyes still fixed to the fire.  
The ex trooper spoke first, “You’re the one that almost killed me.”   
“You shouldn’t have tried to kill the Supreme Leader. Traitor.” I glared at him through the hoodie.  
“Well, at least I’m not Kylo Ren's slave,” he retorted.  
I abruptly stood, letting the cloak pool at my feet, “I am no one’s slave,” I shouted, my voice echoing through the area, “Why do you people keep thinking that? Is it because I had a momentary lapse of judgement?” I threw my hands around, “You fucking cunts need stop asking questions about things you don’t know or need to know about,” I had limped around the fire and stood in front of them, “So will you kindly, fuck off,” I yelled.  
Just then, I felt hands land on my shoulders and they began to pull me away. I knew it was Ren and he guided me back to my seat. He picked up the cloak that had pooled on the ground and wrapped it around me again before coming in front and tilting my head back to look at him, “Stay seated,” he gently, but with authority, said. I nodded.  
Ren turned to regard the General, “I will contact you in a few days to discuss the plans and future meetings.”  
She stepped forward and took his hand, “I look forward to it. It was nice to see you again, Ben,” she had a smile on her face.  
“You too... mother,” he replied and the four left, heading out. Into the clearing, and back to their ship.  
Ren watched them go, then after they disappeared through the tree line, he turned back to me.  
I pulled the cloak closer around me, “Why are you trying to end the war? I thought the objective was to eliminate the resistance.”  
He dropped to his knees in front of me and took my hands, “After what happened to you on that planet several weeks ago, I couldn’t stand seeing you being in pain anymore. If you have any shadow of a doubt about my intentions toward you, I am stopping an ongoing intergalactic war, just to see you safe.”   
Reaching out with my hand, I cupped his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. “Thank you,” I whispered. Ren opened his eyes and gave me a genuine smile.

The next morning, we left to get back to the Finalizer. Ren said we had to get back soon so he could call a meeting and get the plans started. I sat in the pilot's seat again, in my official uniform, as he sat in the co pilot's seat, studying a data pad, occasionally flicking through different screens. Keeping an eye on the instrumentation, I had an ear bud in, watching the stars streak by, every once in a while singing out a verse or two, “Are those song from you world?” Ren asked, not looking up from his data pad.  
“Yeah. I made a deal with one of the traders. I would pay him for his time circling the earth, collect a variety of music and bring it back. I get a new shipment sent to me every six months,” I was nodding my head to the beat.  
He looked over, “What is playing?”  
Looking at my old player, “It just changed. The playlist is on country music right now.”  
“May I listen?” he was looking over at me. Pulling off the bud, I handed over the player. He brought the piece up to his ear and began to listen. After a few seconds he looked at me, “What’s a tee top camaro?”  
I smiled, “It’s a type of car that people used to drive. We didn’t have hovercrafts.”  
“Are there more?” he studied the box. I leaned over and showed him where the next button is.  
“I have other types of music on there.”  
He pressed next, “These are very, peculiar,” I went to reach for it to take it back but he gave me a look and moved my player out of reach, “I’m listening to them. Go back to flying.” he made a shooting motion, as he propped his feet on the console and going back to the data pad.  
My shoulders dropped, “It’s on autopilot. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”  
He still made a dismissive motion with his hand and kept looking at his pad.   
Huffing, I sat back into my seat, the quiet hum of the engine the only noise. I wanted my music back but he wouldn’t give it. An idea popped into my head. Looking over, he was still scrolling through the data pad, not paying attention to what was around him. I slid out of my seat and slowly limped around to the back of his chair. The wound on my leg was still fresh and hurt slightly to walk on it. Stepping up, his head touched my stomach and I softly ran my fingers through his hair. He stopped scrolling and sat still. I then raked my nails against his scalp and he let out a moan, relaxing his entire head against me. Massaging his head, I looked around to see where my player was. It was just resting on his lap, the single earbud still in his ear. Leaning down, I moved some of his hair away and began to suckle on the top of his lobe, causing a deeper moan to come from his throat. With my teeth I carefully pulled the wire out and continued to lick the edge of his ear. I let my hands travel down his arms and with one quick movement, I grabbed my player and leapt away.  
I snickered a little and ducked as fast I could with a wounded leg, around his main chair, keeping the piece of furniture between us. Ren quickly stood up and turned to face me, a dark look came across his features, “It’s not nice to take something away from your Supreme Leader,” he said in a deeper voice, sending chills down my spine. Stepping toward me slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on mine and hands clasped behind his back, “There are fierce punishments involved for stealing from me,” I kept the chair between us as Kylo leisurely made his way around, “Now, be a good girl, and give me that back.”  
Shaking my head, I matched his pace, keeping what I knew was a weak barrier between us, “What makes you think I am a good girl?” Tingling sensations were working their way through my core.   
“Because you are my good girl. My little, good girl. You wouldn’t do anything to upset me. Also, you don’t want to know what I do to bad little girls who don’t do as they are told,” he had made the circle smaller.  
The tingling was getting stronger. He was calling me his little girl. “Maybe I do want to find out what happens to bad little girls.”  
He stopped and fully turned to me, his pupils were dilated, “You know I can force you.”  
I smiled, “But where is the fun in that?”  
Kylo stood straighter and crossed his arms, “You're smiling,” he remarked.  
I couldn't help but blush a little and look away. Big mistake. He took advantage of my distraction and came around the chair and gripped the wrist was holding the player and I gasped, feeling him press against my back was giving me a fluttery feeling inside, “Caught you,” he whispered in my ear before kissing the skin below it. I bent my head to the side, allowing more room, “Give me the player, pet,” I opened my palm and let it drop into his hand. He walked around me and sat at his chair, his hand on my hip guiding me to sit on his lap, facing the windshield in front of us.   
Ren wrapped his arms around me, hand still holding on to the box, and we sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the contact. “Ren?,” I said questioningly. I heard him hum, “What... what are we going to tell them, about us, when we get back?” I didn't know what to call what type of relationship we had.   
“Well,” he moved his arms and maneuvered me into a sideways sit on his lap, his arm behind me, bracing my back and his other draped across my thighs, giving them a squeeze. I looked at him, “For now, we should keep this to ourselves. With the upcoming news, we are going to be busy. I will try to find a way we can be together even if it's for a brief amount of time. We will eventually let us be known. Can you handle that?”  
As much as I really just wanted to forgo everything to be by his side always, Ren was right. We both had jobs to do. The commotion this news was going to already, there was a possibility that if we revealed our relationship, it would unravel all of the planning Ren was trying to set forth. Sighing, I settled with leaning my side into him, my head resting on his shoulder, and idly rubbing my free hand on his covered chest.   
A beeping made me open my eyes and I must have fallen asleep because my eyes felt heavy, “You look so peaceful when you sleep,” Ren said above me, brushing his palm on my cheek.   
Groggily, I began to sit up, but leaned in again to give him a deep kiss. Breaking away, “We're almost there,” he said and reluctantly, I slid off of his lap.   
He held onto my hand for a moment, preventing me from stepping away, “Don't forget, you're not alone anymore. If you need anything, contact me,” he kissed my knuckles before letting go.   
“I will.” Getting back into my seat, I pulled the ship out of hyperdrive,The Finalizer in full view.  
The full garrison was on the hanger when I brought the ship in to dock. The usual spot where the ship sat was empty and I gently sat the craft down and proceeded to power it down. I heard Ren sigh behind me before standing, “Are you good at keeping secrets?”  
I turned my head, “Am I good? I kept my past from people this long. I think I am capable of keeping us a secret for a little while.” I smirked while standing.  
“Good. I'll be in contact,” I stepped forward, out of the view of the front panel and he bent down and gently kissed my lips.  
We broke away, my heart fluttering again, “Good luck,” I said. He looked back at me, “at keeping us a secret,” He looked at me with a heated look then disappeared through the door. I turned around and hit the ramp button, letting him descend and join a most angry general. He'll be even angrier when he finds out what Ren had done.  
Descending down the stairs, I was about to leave when I noticed a bundle of cloth in the corner. Inspecting the bundle, I saw that it was the cloak, collar, and leash I had first worn when we started this journey. Taking the black leather collar in my hands, I rubbed my thumb over it. It was heavy but soft and the clasp was a simple, black, and self adjusting. Hearing the troopers coming up the ramp, I quickly stuffed the pile into my duffel before standing straight. Giving orders out to get the boxes sorted and back to there they needed to go, I grabbed my bags and with a noticeable limp, made my way back to where my room was.  
After entering the pilot's area, I was accosted by Ardak, “Where the hell did you two go for this long? General Hux has been on a warpath since you two left in the middle of the night. And what happened to your leg?”  
As much as I wanted to tell him what happened, I had to wait, “He said it was a top secret mission. I stayed on the ship as we went.” and I continued to hobble down the hall. Ren told me that when we landed that I was to go to the medbay to get my leg patched up. After dropping my stuff off to my room, that was what I was going to do next.  
“I don't believe you,” he walked beside me.  
I huffed, “I don't care what you believe.”  
“I think you knew exactly what this top mission is about.” I shrugged, “Are you two...” he left the question mark off at the end.  
“What? Together?” He nodded, “No. Like I said, I am only his pilot. Nothing more.” We ended at my door, “Now if you will excuse me, I need to get settled back in and to the medbay. I took a nasty fall yesterday and it needs to be checked out,” and I entered, leaving a skeptical copilot at the door.

The next few days could only be described as chaos. It was announced, the day after we got back that there will be a truce on both sides and an agreement had been made to finally end it. General Hux took the agreement better than expected, but I had heard that, at first, he was upset and at one point, wanted to physically fight Ren but soon warmed up to the idea when the other officers had their say. At night, it felt empty and cold in my bed and I had begun to miss Ren’s presence.   
I was headed to a meeting with the other pilot's. Reaching the door, it opened and several pilot captains were there talking amongst themselves and General Hux was already there, talking to another officer. A couple of seats were open next to him. I had assumed that one was for Kylo Ren so I chose one about five seats down and across, away from where I had wanted to sit. Then, everyone got quiet and stood. Kylo Ren strode in from a hidden door. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach and my heart started to beat rapidly at the sight of him. His face was set in his regular scowl as he took a seat next to Hux.  
The discussion was to which ship had which role in the upcoming meetings between the resistance and First order. As the talks were going on, I idly played with my data pad, bringing up information about the shuttle and the progress status of the upgrades. Then a message box popped up. Tapping on the box, the message read, ‘Shouldn't you be paying attention?’ I looked up. Several other pilot's were looking at their pads so anyone of them could have sent the message. Until I looked at Ren. He had a pad on his lap, pretending to look at something interesting. He cast a quick glance at me then looked back at the pad.  
Hiding I smile, I replied, ‘They aren't talking about me yet, Sir. Besides, shouldn’t you be the one paying attention? Everyone is looking at you.’ He looked up and indeed the room was looking.  
General Hux spoke up again, with a faint hint of annoyance, “Supreme Leader? The plans for your ship?”  
He placed the pad on the table, face down, “Yes. My shuttle will be used to take General Hux and my self to each meeting. We will be leaving in three days with two other transportation vessels with the necessary officers to accompany us to our first of many. That is all. You have your orders, you are dismissed,” and he got up and left the room.  
We all filed out one by one and I was one of the last along with the General.  
“Captain Kardell, a word please?” He was standing near the door.  
“Yes, Sir?” Holding my pad in front of me.  
“I have several questions I would like to ask you but this isn't the time or the place,” he looked around, “You were with the Supreme Leader when this discussion came about, yes?” He placed his hands behind his back.  
“Yes, Sir,”  
He nodded, “And how was the suggestion received?”  
“Received, Sir?”  
“How did the girl, Ray, take to the suggestion?”  
I was contemplating whether or not to deluge all that was said but concluded, “A bit apprehensive, but agreeable at the end, Sir”  
He nodded, “What do you think about this possible end to the war?”  
Why would he care about what my opinion was, “Well, the stories I hear from other pilot's is that, even though their loyalty is with the First Order, they are getting tired of hearing their comrades being killed, Sir. If this is a true means to ending unneeded blood shed and bring the galaxy back into harmony and order, then it's a good way to end a war.”  
I could tell he was mulling over what I said, “Good. Three days then?”  
“Yes, Sir,” and he left. I was just about follow, but the door suddenly closed in front of me and I could hear the locking mechanism engage. My breathing became more rapid as I heard another door open.  
“You distracted me,” I heard him say.  
“Well, Sir, I wasn't the one who decided to send messages over their data pad.” turning, he was slowly approaching my side of the table. I started to walk around the other, trying to keep the table between us.  
“But it is your fault for being so distracting,” he stopped his his back at the door and faced me, “No matter what, you will always be a distraction to me.” He placed his hands on the table, his face softening, “How have you been feeling?”  
“Good, I guess. I do miss you though,” I looked away, “I'm sorry. I don't want to sound needy,” Fear and doubt started to rear its head inside of me.   
Hearing movement, I saw him hastily crawl over the table, grabbed me and held me close to his chest, “You sound perfect. You will never be needy to me. Anything you want and I will get it for you.” I wrapped my arms around him and inhaled his sweet scent, “If you want someone's heart still beating on a silver platter, let me know who, and it will be delivered to you within the hour,” I giggled a little at the idea. He pulled away and held me at arms length, “I'm not joking. Anything you need, anything, just ask, and I will provide it for you.”  
“Right now, all I want is you,” He gave a genuine smile and his lips met mine. It wasn't an overly passionate kiss but one of assurance.   
“I've missed you too. We'll be able to be together soon.” He placed his forehead against mine. “When we leave for this meeting, we will be gone for a few days. Tell the crew to pack enough things to get by.” He leaned further down and gave more of a passionate kiss, his tongue invading my open mouth, and I felt like my legs were going to melt with the passion I felt thought it. He broke away, “Have you... pleasured yourself since we’ve been back?”  
I was trying to catch my breath, “No. Haven’t had the time.”  
“Good. Don’t. I want to be the the one to make you cum,” A heat began to pool in my crotch, ”I’ll make sure we meet again before we leave.” Placing a light kiss on my hand, he turned around and walked through the hidden door, shutting it behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

We left the Finalizer and descended to the bluish gold planet below. Both sides decided to land on a neutral planet to have the first meetings and to discuss the ending and future marriage. Hux and Ren were both standing on the bridge making idle chit chat when I carefully touched down in front of a small building. General Organa, Rey and a few other of the rebels higher officers were waiting at the entrance. After the ship settled, I lowered the ramp to allow Ren and Hux to leave and the other First Order officers joined them before going inside.   
“Can you believe we are face to face with these people and not blowing them up into extinction?” my copilot remarked taking off his straps and pulling out a data pad.  
Looking over at him as I powered down the ship, “We may not like it, but orders are orders.” I was watching some of the rebel pilot's milling around, “Want to go socialize?”  
Looking up from his pad, “No.”  
“Me either,” and I grabbed my pad, settling in for a long sit.  
After a while, a storm trooper came onto the bridge, “Kylo Ren requests your presence, Captain Kardell.”  
The same butterflies started to flutter again but I had to hide it under a mask. My copilot looked over at me, trying to read anything from my face, “Very well. Lead the way,” I put my pad down and grabbed my hat. Following the trooper outside and toward the building, a group of rebel pilot's were sitting by the door talking but stopped when we walked up. I could still feel their eyes as we made our way into the building.  
Turning a corner, he stopped at a door and stood at attention next to it. Pushing it open, I walked inside. A few First Order officers were there, speaking with some of the the rebel officers. General Organa was absent but Rey and Hux were speaking off in a corner. Then I saw Ren. He was standing in front of a window, facing the forest, his hands behind his back. Walking up, “You wanted to see me, Sir?” I said, standing at attention just behind him.  
“Yes,” he began, not looking at me, “I want you to inform the others that there are rooms assigned to you in the next building. I’ve already informed the troopers Captain and they will escort you to the rooms. Tonight, there will be an informal dinner and you and the other pilot Captains are to attend. Understand?” he looked over his shoulder at me.  
“Yes, Sir. I’ll make sure your things are sent to your rooms.” I could feel more eyes on our exchange.  
“Then you are dismissed.” he waved me away.  
Clicking my heels together, I walked back out of the room and out of the building. I was a few feet away when I heard a whisper behind me, “I thought all imperial officers were ugly as banthas. I’m glad I was wrong.” Did they really really just say that? Was that a complement? Confused, I continued to the ship and informed the trooper where to send Ren’s baggage. Walking to each shuttle, I passed along the message before going back to our ship. Telling my copilot, I left, letting the troopers gather the rest of the baggage and walked over to the building. Another trooper escorted me down a hallway and showed me to a door. After he walked away, I went to open before a velvety voice spoke behind me.  
“Captain, I saw to it that your room would be next to mine. I need my pilot close in case I need anything,” I turned and saw Ren leaning against the wall behind me. I forced down a smile.  
“Yes, Sir.”  
“You better get settled in and prepare for dinner,” He looked up and down the hallway. Seeing no one, he leaned down to my eye level and whispered, “You are going to sit across from me. I had something made just for you. It’s on your bed. I want you to wear it tonight since it’s a formal dinner. Can you do that?” We heard heard footsteps and he quickly stood straight and crossed his arms. A few of our pilot's turned the corner and he changed his voice to one of anger, “Do you understand?” nearly shouting at me  
I pretended to look a bit scared, “Yes, Sir.” and stood straight at attention. He turned on his heel and stormed away. I didn’t move until he was well out of sight.  
“What was that all about?” It was a pilot from another ship. Captain Martnack.  
Letting out a breath, “Getting yelled at. I didn’t settle the ship down faster and softer. The landing made him fall off balance for a moment.” I then disappeared into the room.  
There was a simple box sitting at the edge of the bed. Cautiously, I approached it and lifted the lid. A dark blue cloth was there and touching, it felt like velvet. Grabbing a corner, I hauled the clothing out and most of it spilled to the floor. It was a long dress that fell to the floor and long sleeved. The collar was also high enough that I knew it would reach my chin. I smiled and hugged it close to my chest. Ren remembered that I hated to show off unnecessary skin.  
A note fell to the ground. Picking it up, I read the elegant handwriting, ‘I’ll leave my room promptly at 1825. Leave then. It won’t be a surprise to everyone if they see us both walk out at the same time. You are going to look so beautiful in that dress,’  
I smiled as I read the last part over and over again.  
I was pacing at my door a minute before I was to leave. The dress felt magnificent against my skin. Never would I had been caught in one but since Ren took the time to give me something so exquisite, it made me want to wear it, for him. Not knowing what to do with my hair, I put it in a simple braid and left it hanging down. The clock turned 1825. Taking a deep breath, I opened my door and stepped out. Just as Ren said, he did the same. Standing straight, “Sir,” I remarked. There were people in the hallway and some looked at us.  
“Captain. You look, acceptable.” He had on his usual black leather pants and boots, but a different shirt. It was still long sleeved and black, tucked at the waist, but the texture looked to be of silk and the collar was shorter, with a button opened at the front, showing the top of his clavicle. It was also more form fitted. I didn’t think it was possible, but it made him look even sexier.  
I swallowed deeply, thanking the high collar hiding it, “Thank you, Sir,”  
He made a motion with his arm, “After you,” and we walked down the hallway, past some guards and others who were not invited to the impromptu dinner.  
Getting to the door, I expected a trooper to open it, but Ren stepped forward and opened it, holding it for me. Problem was that he was also halfway blocking the door. I walked past and brushed by his body, shivering as I felt his hard muscles under the cloth.  
The sun had already set we walked along a path that was lit by lighted stones. No one else was out there, “Thank you for the dress,” I said in a low voice.  
“You look gorgeous in it, like I knew you would,” he replied bumping his elbow into me.   
I looked down and started to blush, “I’m glad you think that,” my voice went down to an almost whisper, “Even though it’s not true,”  
“Stop,” he said and grabbed my arm. I looked around to see if anyone was watching, “I don’t care if people are watching. Look at me,” he demanded. I bit my lip and looked into his eyes, “You are beautiful. All of your, so called imperfections, makes you even more stunning. And I will say it to you every chance I get to make you believe it yourself. Do you understand?”  
“Yes.” I whispered.  
“Say it. Say that you are beautiful.” he looked harder at me.  
“I’m.. I’m beautiful,” I whispered.  
“Louder,” he squeezed my arm a bit harder.  
Gulping, “I’m beautiful,”  
“Good,” and he let his arm drop, “Don’t forget it.” and we continued to walk.  
We got to the room where we would be eating and there were several long tables with cream colored tablecloths, and plate settings already setup. Ren disappeared soon after we entered. I didn't expect him to stick by my side, so I went over to where one of the pilot Captains were standing, “Captain Kardell, You are looking quite well tonight. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you without your uniform.” he toasted his drink in my direction.  
Clutching my hands in front of me, I nervously spoke, “Thank you. Captain Martnak. It’s different seeing you in your uniform as well.” The male officers had special uniforms that they are required to wear when any formal event. It was a classier way to show off their ranks and awards.  
“I saw that you walked in with Kylo Ren.” Another pilot said. His name was Portoon.  
A server came by and I grabbed a drink from his tray, “Yeah, we just happened to leave at the same time.”  
“Glad it was you and not me. That man is terrifying,” he took a sip of his drink.  
Yeah, terrifying. If they only knew, “It wasn’t fun if that is what you are getting at,” I tried to steer the conversation away, “How are you taking the news?”  
They shrugged and Martnak spoke first, “It is weird standing in the same room as rebels and will soon be eating dinner together. I am glad that this war is going to be over though. It’s annoying to finally come back from a mission and then get sent right back out. The troopers never get a chance to shower and they start to smell like a dead bantha sometimes.”  
“Yeah, it is a peculiar way that it’s ending though. I figured the Supreme Leader would marry that girl, not Hux,” Portoon remarked, “I guess something like that is below him and sent Hux to be tortured,”  
I looked around and saw that Rey and Hux were near a window, talking, and I saw a smile and a laugh come from her at whatever the General was saying. Ren was nowhere to be seen and I was confused. He walked in with me but I know he didn’t leave.  
General Organa finally made her appearance and we were then instructed to sit. I approached the table and saw Hux pull out a chair for the girl, both with smiles on their faces.Taking a chair a few down from them, I was surprised then Ren popped out of nowhere and took the chair directly across from me.   
After everyone had been seated, Organa stayed standing and started to give a speech. My vision was fixed upon what the older lady was speaking but my mind began to wander. After our little talk outside, Ren never spoke to me again after. I knew he must have been mad at me. But then my eyes went wide as I felt a leather boot come up, and gently touched my calf, before rubbing up and down in short lengths. I guess he wasn’t mad at me after all.  
The General was going over how special this meeting was and I decided to be bold. Slipping off my shoes from my right foot, I brought mine up to mimic what had previously been done to me. Heat began to flare up on the side of my face as I felt him stare at me, so I pressed on. Moving the foot further up, I rubbed it against his knee. I felt his legs slightly part, and I traveled further up, stopping half way up his inner thigh. Organa had finally finished her speech and sat, giving me the opportunity to get settled and snaked my foot the rest of the way to the top of his crotch, barely touching the cloth. I looked back across the table and he was giving me a heated look. Smiling a bit, I decided to turn and talk to Captain Martnak, about nothing really just some upcoming events that he was scheduled to complete.  
The food was brought out and as my plate was being set down, I rocked my foot forward, meeting something very hard. Then a firm grip was placed around my ankle and I looked up to see Ren was already eating. I tried to pull away slightly but the grip increased and instead, brought my foot closer and pressed it up against his hardness. This dinner is going to kill me.  
We never moved from our spots that night. Every once in a while, I would wiggle my toes to massage his hard member. He, in turn, would squeeze and press himself further into my sole. After mostly every had left was when he decided to free my imprisoned ankle allowing me to put on my shoe, and stand. I thanked Organa for the wonderful dinner and looked forward to seeing her again and I could feel a presence behind me as I made my way to the door and back outside into the cool of the night. It was then that I was harshly grabbed and brought around to the dark side of the building, my wrists being held beside my face before very hungry lips met mine. When we finally broke apart, “Little tease,” Kylo said before kissing down my jaw line and rocking his hips into mine, “Do you like tormenting me?” he whispered into my ear then lightly biting the lobe.  
“I like poking at the monster,” I panted.  
“Little girls shouldn’t be playing around like that,” and he came back to claim my lips. Feeling my wrists being let go, he wrapped his arms around my back, and I hugged mine around his neck as I deepened the kiss. Breaking away, “I just want to tear that dress off and take you right here,” he said, breathing heavy, “But I’ll wait till you are ready.” he leaned back to look at me but kept his hands around my back.  
“We need to get back to our rooms,” I placed my head on his chest.  
“I know,” he pulled me close, “Give me a moment. I just want to hold you for a while longer.”

The next few days were pretty much uneventful. The higher officers had meetings after meetings and the pilot's were getting bored. I spent my time either going out into the nearby woods to either walk or run, or I was in my room looking through my data pad. I caught glimpses of Ren through out the days but not enough for us to be together again. Looking through my pad one afternoon, when a message box popped up, ‘What are you doing?’  
I knew it was him, ‘Laying down, You?’  
‘They are talking about where to have the wedding. It’s been nothing but that for almost the entire day,’  
Smiling, ‘Sounds like fun. Have they decided on what color the wedding is going to be?’ I snickered.  
‘No. That’s going to be the discussion after dinner,’  
‘You should suggest an all black wedding,’  
‘I tried.’  
Not getting another message after about a minute, I went about looking through my pad, not really searching for anything. I was getting into an interesting read when, ‘They finally set a date and place,’  
‘That’s good,’  
‘I hope they get done soon,’  
I rolled onto my stomach, ‘Why are you even there if it’s all about a wedding?’   
‘Purely diplomatic. It shows great face if I am in every. Single. Meeting.’ His time to punctuate the words made me giggle a bit.  
‘Poor baby,’ I frowned a bit for him, ‘We could switch. I can be in the meetings and you could be here laying down in my bed,’  
‘I would rather by laying in that bed with you... naked’  
The butterflies were fluttering around inside as we had this small talk back and forth, ‘How much longer do you have?’  
‘That is a very good question, I have no idea. Why?’  
‘It’s getting pretty boring while everyone is in meetings. I was going to go for a walk in the nearby woods. I just didn’t know if there was anything that I need to be aware of.’  
‘I don’t know if I want to give you permission to do so,’  
Permission? Since when did I need to get permission to workout a bit? ‘What?’  
‘That stunt you pulled at the dinner needs to be accounted for. So no. You may not go out for a walk. Consider yourself grounded, to your room, until I say so.’  
‘You’re joking, right?’ I gave out an audible laugh.  
There was a pause, ‘I will tell you this. I have been keeping a mental note of all your indiscretions and when the time comes, you will pay for each and every one of them,’  
He has got to be joking, ‘You’re not my father,’ I felt a familiar heat starting up.   
‘I told you, I’m not a nice man. And if I have to take on a fatherly role to make you understand, I will. I am giving you fair warning, Septa.’  
Thinking for a moment, was I really ready for what he has the potential to give? After I had poured out everything that happened to me and Ren still wanted to have me, could it be possible that someone was here, wanting to help me? Smiling, I responded, ‘I accept that warning. Problem is that you are stuck at a meeting.’  
‘You’re not leaving.’  
‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Like I said. You. Are. Stuck. At. A. Meeting.’ Letting the pad drop onto the bedI, went over to the closet to change. I could hear a few dings coming from the pad, but I didn’t care. I was bored.  
Lacing up the shoes, I shut the door, a series of dings still coming from the pad. I smiled as I walked down the hall and out the door. How much trouble can I get into? He was only playing.  
The woods surrounding the buildings were beautiful. Multiple streams were flowing and the trees seemed to stretch up and touched the sun. A warm breeze was flowing through the forest and I decided to pick up the pace and go into a nice jog.   
I leapt over boulders and fallen logs, feeling great that I didn’t have to use the training rooms treadmill. There was nothing like being outside, my own body pushing my forward than a piece of machinery.   
I ended up at a small pond with an equally small waterfall. The setting sun was shooting rays through the woods and was making the area have a golden color. Sitting on a large boulder, the waterfall also brought back memories of when Ren caught me trying to soak in the water. I was at most most vulnerable, naked in the water. But he just sat next to me and wasn’t repulsed when I showed him my shameful scars. Then when I told him everything that had happened in my life, he wasn’t sickened. I felt, in that moment, a calm wash over me. Being in Ren’s arms, I felt, at moment, I would do anything for this man. They way he talked and the care in his voice, I believed that someone finally cared. Finally wanted to see the real me, and accepted my faults.  
Then my thoughts switched to our conversation earlier. Was he really serious about grounding me? About being a father figure if needed? I’m not a child, I told myself. But there was some excitement behind the threat. I began to contemplate what type of relationship I wanted or was willing to get myself into.  
He had said that he wasn't a nice man and I had a feeling that his interests did run into the more unconventional area. Shivers ran up my spine as I thought back to the small innuendos he gave off. From my first time in the medical bay and being caught escaping, to the times he said good girl or called me little girl. They stirred deep feelings inside. Then, there was when he attached a collar around my neck so he could get the device he needed. Even though it was all for show, it was the most safe I had felt in a really long time. I knew he was going to be hard but there was also a softer side. He had personally carried me off of the shuttle when the explosion finally took its toll on me and I collapsed. Ren also didn't shun or embarrassed me when my mind relapsed into my past. He had made sure I got back safely. Then the trip to the tie academy. Even though he did cheat, it was one of the best things that I had ever done. When we landed at that small planet and I had fallen asleep, Ren put his cape over me. The night of my nightmare, he didn't laugh, or harshly wake me up, or even moved away. He had wrapped me in his arms and held me through the episode and through out the night. After I told him about what happened in my past and what I had to do, he hugged me tighter. But the way he made me feel was that I could share anything, and he would accept that with open arms. Was I ready for a real relationship? Could I enjoy what he could potentially do to me? With what my past was like, I shouldn't like it. I shouldn't want it. But there was something about Kylo Ren that screamed for me to submit.   
What was perplexing was the thought of Ren threatening to ground me and I would be sorry if I disobeyed. I mean, what could he do to me? Then the thought of the time I had found him with the woman across his lap and him spanking her as she was tied up. Was that what he meant? Then my eyes got real wide. Was he really meaning, that he would spank me? Immediately, I took off running in the direction of the buildings.  
It didn't take me long to reach them and I never broke speed when I blasted through the front door and skidded to a halt in front of my door. Throwing it open, I panted trying to catch my breath and stumbled over to the bed, grabbing the pad. There were over a hundred messages. Some asked where I was and others just threatening me over and over again if he found out I left. I was about to respond when, ‘Turn around,’ beeped into the message box. Gulping, I put the pad down on my bed and turned. Just as I looked, I saw that Ren was standing behind the door, and closed it with one hand.  
“I... I'm sorry. I thought you were jok...”I tried to explain but he held up his hand.  
“At attention,’ he said coldly. Not wanting to suffer his wrath anymore, I did what he asked, “You directly disobeyed me.” He walked toward me with a very angry expression on his face. Did I truly messed this up already? I must have. Doubt began to sprout into my mind, “I said you were grounded to your room yet here you are,” he stopped and pointed to the door, “Just walking in.” He started to walk around the room. I could feel his anger and I started to shake a little. This was it. He didn't want me anymore. This relationship is going to be over even before it had the chance to become something, “You can not fathom the disappointment I have right now,” I had begun to shake even more, my eyes watering with unshead tears, and breathing that I just could not control, “I shouldn't even...,” he stopped in front of me and I had a stream of tears coming from my left eye as I tried desperately to calm myself, “Septa, are you alright?” He asked looking at me dead in the eyes.  
“Ye.. yes, Sir,” I hiccuped while my body started to shake.   
“No. It's not alright,” he tilted my head up with both hands, “Please, tell me,”  
“I..I'm sorry, Sir,” I started to stammer, “I'm sorry to.. to disappoint you,” I said between sobs, “I didn’t mean to anger you and I don’t deserve,’” I was stopped when he wrapped up in his arms. That only made me cry even worse as this was foreign to me.   
Ren placed his head on top of mine and was petting the back of my head, “Calm down,” he whispered. I wrapped my arms around his torso and tired to get my breathing back in order. Eventually he pulled away to look at me. His thumbs gently wiped the tears away from my cheeks, “Okay now?” I nodded, sniffling a bit, “Did you think I was going to leave you?” I nodded again, “OK, I think we need to talk before we take this relationship further.”  
He turned around and grabbed a chair, “Won’t someone come looking for you?” I said, hugging my chest.  
Pushing me down to sit on the bed, he sat in the chair and took my hands, “I don’t care, what matters is you right now,” I blushed a little, “What are you looking for?”  
I gave him a quizzical look, “What do you mean?”  
“What do you want out of what we are doing? Out of our relationship?”  
I was silent for a while, trying to gather my thoughts, “I.. I can’t say,” I whispered.  
“You can’t because you don’t know or can’t because you are trying to protect something?”  
Taking a deep breath, “Protecting,” I looked down.  
Dropping my hand, he gently tilted my head up with a finger under my chin to look into his eyes, “What?”  
I bit my lip, “My heart.”  
There I said it. Time for the rejection, “You’ve been through this before, haven’t you?”  
I nodded. He was still quiet, “It was with someone from the academy. I thought he liked. Almost said he loved me, until he saw my scars and wanted to know where I got them. He revolted when I told him said that I was a freak and not normal. Then it was all over the academy and the mockery came the next morning”  
“He was a fool and an idiot, look at me,” I did, “I know this is all new to you. To tell you the truth, it’s new to me as well. I’ve only have had one offs and paid prostitutes, never with someone that I cared deeply for,” he brushed my cheek, “I do care about you. We have a long road ahead of us. Like I said before, I’m not a nice man. Some might say, a monster. There are certain things that I like, and crave deeply. Certain aspects of bedroom life and out. But in time, we both can learn together.”  
I thought back to what I was contemplating before in the forest, “I don’t know what you need,”  
“Like, I don’t know what you need either, but we will find out,” he paused, scooted a little further in his seat toward me and squeezed my hand and sighed, “I like having someone, subservient to me. To do everything that I say, without question.”   
“Uhm..” I began but he cut me off with a hand up.  
“But, there is something about you. If you told me that you wanted no part of that type of lifestyle, I would throw it all away just to see you happy.” I looked deep into his eyes and I only saw caring. No hidden agenda or malice, “Now, what is it that you need, from me?”  
I started at him for a few seconds before sniffling and taking a deep breath, “I can’t explain what I want. The words won’t form,” I looked down, “And I’m afraid,” I whispered.  
“Septa, look at me,” he tilted my head up, “You are the most strongest woman that I have ever met. Going through what you did, would make any sane person die in fright. There is nothing that you will say, that will change my mind or change the way I feel about you. Please, tell me.”  
“It’s wrong. It’s all wrong,” I began to let it out, “I’ve been beaten, tied down, forced to do things against my will,” I yanked my hands away and pulled up my sleeves, “I’ve bled from shackles being too tight or pulled around by them,” I peeled back the high collar on my shirt, “I’ve been made to pleasure different men, been brainwashed to never want anything but what my captures gave me. I shouldn’t want to be tied down again,” I was breathing hard at this moment, “I shouldn’t want that again,” I said in a whisper. “But, when you put that collar on me, I didn’t feel repulsed. I didn’t feel the cold of metal. It was warm and soft. It felt... I felt safe. Any time you gave me a bit of praise, it felt good. There is something about you that I want to be submissive to you,” my hands started to shake again and I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. “I want someone to take away the pain,” Fresh tears started down my cheeks again. “I shouldn’t feel this way,” I kept repeating. Everything was quiet in my room save for the sounds of my nose sniffling. He didn’t say anything for a while. The fear of presenting myself out to another person began to creep up. Was he disgusted? He was. I was brought out of my mindset when his arms came out, grabbed me and I was settled sideways on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and buried my face into his neck, hands clutching his chest.  
He was talking softly above me, “And that is what I intend to do, keep you safe. Take care of your every need. There was a time, where I would demand a woman to kneel at my feet, to be a slave. But you,” he reached down and tilted my head up to meet his gaze, “I want you by my side. Any decisions to be made, I want you to be there.”   
I sniffled a little, “And... and if I want to kneel?”   
He smiled down at me, “Then you will. When the time is right, you will. And I will be there to help you, and we will both learn.” He brushed a piece of hair away from my face, “You are a jewel, a treasure. My treasure. And no one takes away my treasure,” and he leaned down and kissed me, his hand venturing down and cupped the side of my face. I had completely melted into Ren’s kiss and embraced. Perhaps this could be it. Someone that could see past my physical and mental scars and wanted to deal with the mess that I am.  
I was the first to break away, “Will you be able to deal with me if I have a relapse?”  
“Only if you can deal with me losing my temper,”  
I smiled, “Then, I look forward to what the future may hold for us,” He smiled again and we once again kissed. Breaking away, I had to ask, “What... what did you mean that I would pay for my indiscretions?” as I scratched my finger on his shirt.  
Hooking a finger under my chin, he tilted it up even more, “What do you think it is?”  
“I have an idea,” I wiggled a little. He raised his eyebrow, wanting me to speak more, “I had a thought, out when I was walking. It was the first time we were attacked and I had to find you. And I saw you in a room with a woman and you were...” I couldn’t speak anymore.  
“Ah yes. But that will be saved for when we are ready. But I so look forward to seeing your rear turn a lovely shade of pink then red by my own hand. And you squirming under every hit.” A familiar burn started to grow between my legs and I unconsciously squeezed them together for a second, “You like that idea?” his hand rubbing the outside of my thigh. I just bit my bottom lip, and looked down at my lap, “Want me to give you a sample of what is to come?”  
I quickly looked up, “Won’t people hear?”  
He raised his hand and made a slight movement. I heard my door being locked and a tingling sensation flowing through the room, “That is another thing we will have to talk about,” I looked up in question, “Your force sensitivity. When you froze that blaster bolt, which was extraordinary for someone with no training, you used the force. I want to explore that further. And don’t worry about the noise, the room is now silenced.” In one quick movement, I was facing the floor, my middle laying across his lap. His one hand held firmly onto my hip while the other, rubbed my rear, “This isn't going to be a small tap. It will be painful and will be a reflection of what is and will become. Are you ready?” I nodded, “You will have to speak up. My ear isn't on the floor.”  
“Yes,” My voice was wavering a little. What did I get myself into.   
“Good. I will only give you five and I want you to count them.”   
I braced myself and I felt his hand leave. I heard the sound before feeling a sting flare on my left cheek where his hand landed. It was painful but not what I was expecting. “One” I said, almost forgetting.  
Another blow and this time the right side flared up in pain, “Two,” A hit came right after I counted, “Three!” My voice went up slightly. I've had my back beaten and bruised while being strapped to a pole to the point where I was bleeding. Those felt like white hot pokers were piercing my skin. This, this wasn't as harmful but the fact that I was laying across Ren’s lap, added to the humiliation I was feeling.   
“May I pull down your pants? Just enough for me to uncover your rear.” He was rubbing again. I twisted my head round and looked at him at an awkward angle.   
“Why... why are you asking? Don’t you just, do it anyways?” I thought this is what he did. Just take over.  
He patted my rear, “I don't want to do anything you are uncomfortable with.”  
I thought for a moment, “Okay,” and I turned back to face the floor.  
His fingers hooked the top of my pants and slowly brought them down to just below my bottom. His hand resumed on my hip and a resounding smack of flesh on flesh filled the room. I stiffened. Without clothing to pad the blow, I hissed through my teeth at the pain, “I was beginning to wonder if you are going to make any noise,”  
“Four,” was my response.  
The fifth came down at the same spot as the previous and I stiffened before slightly shouting out five. I was clutching his pants leg and taking in deep breaths as he palmed my rear, “Good. That was good. I can see my hand print,” he placed his palm over a spot. Ren then gently coaxed me to stand and he pulled my pants back up as I stood next to him. He stood as well and pulled me into a hug, “It's going to take a lot on both of our parts. You and I have a lot to learn about each other.”  
I snuggled into his chest and hugged him back, “I think I can manage.”  
We stayed that way for a while, just enjoying each other before he pulled back, “There will be an official dinner in two weeks to announce the end to the war. A lot is going to be happening during that time. I will try to see you as much as I can. You will also be my guest for this formal event and there, we can be officially together. The wedding date is already set and plans to merge the two sides will commence afterwards.” Ren let go and began to walk to the door, “In your world, what is the label they call themselves when two people are together, intimately?”  
I had to think for a second. “Boyfriend and girlfriend, I believe.”  
He smiled again, “Till next time, girlfriend.”  
“Next time,... boyfriend,” I smiled back and he left. I rubbed my rear and thought, it's going to be long two weeks.


	10. Chapter 10

When he said that the next two weeks would be busy, he was right. I was deployed several times a day to shuttle around Hux and other officers around to different star systems. They were officially inviting dignitaries from all over the galaxy and I was there to retrieve them. The hanger in the Finalizer was large, but not large enough to house ships that would be there if everyone took their own transport, so it was decided that Ren’s personal shuttle would go and get them.   
One particular night, we came back late, long after dinner and troopers were there to escort the dinner guests to their rooms. I dragged my butt to my room, and as we were set to leave again in eight hours, I was determined to get as many hours of sleep so that I could be fresh in the morning.  
Going through my door, I kicked my shoes off next to it and began to walk toward my bed room. I had the jacket off and and was half way through my shirt when I stopped dead in my tracks. Ren was sitting up on my bed, his shoes off and reading through a data pad, “Oh,” I gasped, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”   
Without looking up, “It has been a few days and I wanted to see how my jewel is fairing. You have been flying a lot recently” he flicked at the pad.  
Walking over to my closet to change into my night clothes, “It's been nonstop. I'm lucky to even be able to eat in between shuttling people around and refueling.” Walking out in my usual long sleeved pants and shirt, I sat at the edge of my bed, taking out my hair and hand combing through some tangles, “I haven't had a decent shower in days.”  
I felt a foot touch the lower part of my spine and rub it, “Sounds like I need to make sure you get the proper nutrition and hygiene,” I blushed a little at the thought of him feeding me.  
“I should be alright tomorrow,” I began to braid my hair for the night, “We have one more stop scheduled in the morning, then I am going to take a long, hot shower when we get back.”  
“Hmmm. Be sure that you do. Also,” he held up his hand and a black leather hoop was dangling from his finger, “Where did you get this?”  
Staring at the collar, “Oh. Uh, I saw that and the bundle in a corner when we got back and so before the troopers came in to take care of the packages, I kind of took it and put it in my duffel,”  
“And you've kept it sitting perfectly on your desk?” he looked up at me.   
Tucking my leg under, I sat sideways, “Where else was I supposed to put it? Thrown in a pile in my closet?”  
“Come here,” he requested, putting his pad aside and spreading his legs. I crawled up and placed my head against his chest. He began to pat the top of my head, “I could tell you where I would like to see it.”  
I hugged his torso, my eyes closing and inhaling his scent, “Mmm. Where?”  
“Around your pretty neck,” I heard the latch open. I turned my head to face him and rested my chin on his sternum. The opened collar was now hanging delicately between his fingers.  
I regarded the statement and watched the leather swing slightly, almost mesmerized at the movement, “Being that the collar is yours, I wouldn't feel right putting it on myself.” I saw his eyes darken with arousal and felt something starting to grow beneath my chest.  
He responded softly, “Will you wear my collar?”  
His question hung in the air as I stared at the leather and thought about it for a second. Doing this would solidify our relationship and start our dependence on each other. Giving out a sigh, “It would be an honor to do so..., Sir,” I added with a huskier voice.  
Ren leaned forward quickly, hooked his arms under mine and dragged me up, his lips crashing into me with passion. His tongue was carefully exploring my mouth and I tried to meet it with the same fury. I moaned in protest a bit when he pulled away, but settled on pressing my forehead against his, “Do you think you could kneel on the floor?” Kneel on the floor? Couldn’t he just put it on? I gave him a confusing look, “Work with me here, please?”   
Giving a small sigh, I slid off of him and knelt next to my bed. Kylo sat up and situated himself to where I was kneeling between his legs, “You have no idea how beautiful you look kneeling there,” He held the strip of leather up, “I want you to wear this not because I asked you to but that you want to. It's your decision. Do you know what this will mean?” I shook my head, “That I will make sure every one of your needs are met. There is no one in this galaxy that will take you away from me. You're mine. My jewel. But...” he trailed off, “You will have to submit to me, obey any orders I give you, without question. I’m very strict when it comes to following rules,” I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off, “Like I said before, we will learn together, our unique relationship, of what can and can't happen. Rules can change, but you will have to trust what I say.” I was biting my bottom lip, concerned on what is about to happen and anything else in the future, “Also, only I can take this off of you. Can you commit to that?”  
I looked up at him, “I thought you said you wanted me by your side,”  
“I do. You will. I will not make any life changing decisions without your input. I want to take care of you. Fulfill any request that you may have. Remember what I said a few weeks ago? About the need to care for you?,” I nodded, “I still have a deep craving to do that. You will just have to trust me.”  
Could I accept what he is offering? I've taken care of myself for so long, could I really relinquish all of that and place my well being in his hands? I looked back up and saw anticipation in his eyes and a bit of worry. I took a deep breath, “What will I have to call you?”  
He smiled, “Kylo. We'll come across other names when we get more, into it.”  
I smiled, “Then I accept, Kylo,”  
He gave me a big smile before reaching out and pulling my hair out of the way. I leaned my head up and felt his fingers ghost around my neck and then the smooth leather following. It felt good. It was warm and the meaning behind it made my insides tingle. The clasp snapped shut and the collar self adjusting mechanism compressed just to the point where there was no gaps and a left a slight pressure behind. He pulled back and I looked into his eyes. Pride was what I saw and felt. We didn't talk but he did lean back over and grabbed the matching leash. He clipped it to the front and loosely held the strip in his hands, “Perfect,” he whispered before tugging slightly, causing me to come forward. I followed the tugging up onto the bed and back down on his chest.   
I wanted to smile but tears started to form in my eyes. I choked back a sob but it still came out. Every emotion was trying to find its way out and I was trying to fight them all, “Septa? What's wrong?” I vaguely heard him say above me but I was too engrossed into crying and clutching to his chest for dear life. He sat up and maneuvered me sideways on his lap, as usual, before tilting my head up, “Please. What is wrong?” Concern evident in his voice.  
Between sobs I voiced out, “I... I don’t know... I’ve never felt... this way. No one... no one ever wanted me.”  
He hugged me closer, “It’s okay.” he rocked me, “You are safe here, with me. No one will ever hurt you. You are safe,” I still kept crying clutching his chest.   
“Everyone who was supposed to take care of me, left me,” I sobbed more.  
“Shhh,” he cooed, petting my hair, “I’m here. I’ll take care of you,” I let out everything that had been held back. All of the pain through my life. All that I was made to do to survive came crashing out in waves and Kylo just held me close, whispering reassuring words into my ear.  
Eventually, I fell asleep, being held tightly in Kylo’s arms  
I awoke to someone shaking my shoulder, “Wake up, come on,” I peeked an eye open and saw that he was standing next to my bed. I tried to bury further under the covers but they were pulled away, “Get up.” he gently said, “You need to get ready.” Groaning, I hauled my legs over and rubbed my eyes. He was busy gathering my clothes and placing it on the bed, “Go wash your face and come back.” Doing as I was told, I padded over to the refresher and splashed water on my face, yawning, trying to wake up. Looking back up at the mirror, I still had on the collar and a leash was dangling down in front. I smiled and played with the strip until, “Now, Septa,” Kylo commanded. Quickly I walked back out and he had seated himself at my desk. There was a small pile of food, “Come here,” he said and patted his lap. Going over, he positioned me to sit on his lap and he picked up a piece of fruit, and brought it to my lips.  
I looked at him, “I am perfectly capable of feeding myself,”  
“Well, by the way you talked yesterday, you haven’t had the time. Like I said, I will be taking care of you from now on. Now, open.” I huffed but complied. He popped the food in and I leaned into him, happily chewing on it. He hand fed me the rest of the food before tapping my rear, telling me to stand. Kylo began to pull my shirt above my head when I pulled the hem down, “What are you doing?” I kind of chuckled.  
He cocked an eyebrow at me, “Did you just stop me?”   
“Yes I did because I wanted to know what you are doing.” I crossed my arms.  
Kylo reached out and took hold of the leash curling it around his hand and coaxed me forward, “I should turn you over my knee for that, but we have no time. As I told you before, I will care for you. So right now, I am doing just that,” he kissed my forehead, “Now, stop thinking about it so much,” and he let go. I looked down and blushed, “Arms up,” he commanded.   
Complying, he took my shirt off and I said, “I don’t want to be punished,” whispering.  
After stepping out of my pants he came back up and kissed me, “No one wants to be, it’s just a necessity, but we will talk about that at another time,” he cupped my face, “But for right now, you need to be dressed so you can go about your duties.” He began to dress me in silence but in a hurried fashion.   
After checking to see if there were any imperfections in my uniform, he came around to my back and started to work on my hair. I felt like a child as he was dressing me, like a father would for their daughter. It was a warm and comforting feeling something that I could definitely get used to. He was soon done with putting my hair up, “What about the collar and leash,” I asked, the items being hidden by my clothes.  
He turned me around and kissed my lips, “Only I can remove them, so they will be under your clothes as a reminder of who you belong to,”  
I scrunch my brow, “What about you?”  
“Meaning?” a puzzled look on his face.  
“Well, where is your reminder that you belong to me? It doesn’t seem fair that I wear something of yours but you don’t wear something from me. Unless that’s how it goes,”   
He thought for a moment before reaching into my uniform collar and bringing out the leash, “Then I will keep this,” he unclipped it and was about to put it away but stopped and looked at it. Putting his right arm out, he rolled up his sleeve and held his wrist out, “Will you be so kind as to wrap it around my wrist?” he smiled at me, “I want a constant reminder of who I belong to,”  
I smiled and began to coil the thin leather strap on his arm, clipping the end to the loop at the beginning. He was about to shoo me out of the door when I got a most devilish thought. The thought of his dressing and feeding me like a child created this idea, so as I was about to leave, I leaned up, kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear, “Thank you,... daddy,” before rushing out of the room. I didn’t want to see his expression or wait around to see what will happen.

It was a week from hell. The runs we had to go on, had us refuel on the landing pads of certain planets. My co pilot and myself barely got any sleep during this time and eating was during the same time we had our small bathroom breaks as the people we were picking up had their luggage loaded. I hadn't seen Kylo during this time and he made no move to contact me even through the data pad. Worry began to creep into my mind about what I said the last time we were together and if that was something that he didn’t like to hear.  
It was the final day that we were scheduled to pick anyone up and thankfully, it was only one. I was taken by surprise when Kylo decided to join us. He had no expression on his face and I didn’t expect him to. We were supposed to keep us secret for now, “Lord Ren,” my copilot said as we stood by our chairs, “To what do we owe this honor of you joining us to pick up passengers?” Yes, why.  
“It seems that I am an errand boy for the happy couple. General Hux asked me to retrieve and item and since you are on the way to the planet I am bound for, I might as well get a ride,” and he sat at his seat.  
We took ours and shortly, lifted off from the hanger and out into space. “Who is it that we will be picking up?” I always asked my copilot because he always had the information but Kylo spoke up first.   
“It will be Lady Minversa and her daughter, Tev.” I heard a slight shudder in his voice, “I expect you two, after we land, to be outside and at attention. We must show our military perfection,” we both said yes sir after his statement.  
Why was this required now and not before when we were picking up the other guests? I kept that in the back of my head for the next time I was able to speak with him alone. Straining my neck a little, I had to hide a smile when I felt the collar constricting.  
After we landed, and lowered the ramp, my copilot and myself went out first and stood on both sides of the ramp as directed. Kylo then swept past us and toward a building. After I knew he was far enough away and could not hear us, I sideways spoke to my copilot, “What is this all about,” I whispered but loud enough for him to hear.  
“This place is big on everything being perfect. Not a single thing can be out of place. Any imperfections is considered an offence and they pride in their people being the perfect entity. Also, we are picking up one of the most, biggest pain in the ass girl you will ever know. She’s had a crush on the Supreme Leader ever since he became Master of the Knights of Ren,” I swallowed, my breathing picking up a bit, “But as far as I know, he has had no interest in her. But he doesn’t have interest in anyone, does he?” I could tell he was trying to read my face and body language. He has always had his suspicions and deep down, I knew that he knew Kylo and I were a couple and would tell me constantly that he doesn’t believe that we are not an item.  
We stayed silent after that. Not five minutes later, I saw Kylo walking back out with an elderly woman on his arm and a younger woman on his other side, trying to get his attention. I had to repeat to myself over and over again that he was mine and strained my neck muscles to feel the collar. He had not taken off the leather strip that I had placed on him as I caught a glimpse of it peeking out from under his sleeve. As they got closer, I could see a few of the guards following, carrying bits of luggage and I got a better look at the girl Tev. She was perfect. Long blond hair that not a curl was out of place. White porcelain skin adorned with various jewelry as smooth as glass. Perfect white teeth could be seen as she smiled up at Kylo. Even her walk was elegant.  
Kylo stopped at the base and handed the elderly woman off to my copilot with the instructions that she was to be made comfortable before following them both in.  
“Handmaiden! Handmaiden!” I heard the girl exclaim. I glanced my eyes over to where she was, “Yes you. Have you no ears? Come and get my luggage! Why do they even have you here?” Her voice could break glass.  
“Mamme,” I replied, “I am the pilot. Let me get a trooper out here to retrieve your bags,” I went to yell into the craft but she cut me off.  
“You? The pilot?” she laughed, “You’re no pilot. Kylo wouldn’t let a female pilot his ship, let alone be near him. He has me. Now, come and get my things or I will tell Kylo that you are being insubordinate and he will deal with you, as I say you should be dealt with,” and she put her hands on her hips. Go ahead and tell him, I thought to myself. Sucking up my pride I walked over and grabbed a few of her things and began to bring them into the shuttle, “I will just have to tell Kylo to just get rid of you. You obviously do not know your place.” I held my breath and kept walking. That’s when he appeared at the top of the ramp and I stopped.  
“What’s going on?” his voice booming.  
She rushed up to him and grabbed his arm, “Oh, you have to get rid of her. She can not even follow a simple command and she is a lier. I will not have a lier be around us.”  
He gently took her hand and peeled it off of him, “And what lie would that be?”  
“She claimed that she was the pilot. We both know she isn’t. Then she wanted to get a trooper to get my things. Tell her it’s her job!” her whining was starting to grate on my nerves.  
He looked right at me, “I’ll say this once,” and he turned to her, “Do not harass my pilot. This is Captain Septa Kardell. Not a servant for you to boss around,” Yeah, that’s his job, I thought. With a wave of his hand, her luggage started to float, along with the ones in my hand and made their way inside, “Now please, we need to leave,” and he disappeared back inside, Tev following on his heels trying to get his attention to talk to him again.   
Taking a deep breath, I went inside and into the bridge. My copilot was looking at me when I sat, “What happened?”  
“She thought I was her slave and didn’t believe that I was a pilot. I so wanted to..” but was cut off when Kylo came up and shut the door behind him.  
“Save me from insufferable brats,” I heard him mutter, “Lets go.” and he sat.  
It was the day before the dinner and I still had not heard from him. At this point, I was almost certain that he was angry at what I had said. So here I was, up in the training rooms, running at my top speed on the treadmill trying to figure out what I was going to say. It was around dinner time that I returned to my rooms and went straight to the showers, not noticing something on my bed.  
I had just stepped out and was drying off while walking back into my bedroom when suddenly, the towel was ripped away and I was left standing, dripping with water and naked. My towel ended up in the right hand of Kylo that had taken a seat on the chair at my desk, staring at me. My eyes went wide as I saw him and, “Uhm, hi” I said, not moving.  
“Hi,” he remarked, no emotion behind it.  
I had to let it out first, “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if what I said upset you. I was how I was feeling and I wanted to try something...” he held a hand up and I shut up.  
“Come here,” he ordered and patted his lap. Walking over he guided me to sit on his thigh and he put one hand around my back and on my hip while the other rested on my knee, “I’m not upset at what you said. Surprised but not upset. I’m just trying to figure out if you were joking or being serious.”  
Shifting a little on his lap, “Well, when you were dressing me, I felt like a child. You were dressing and feeding me. Not all the time, just sometimes,” he nodded.  
“Hmmm, I think I can play with that idea. Now, I don’t want you calling me that when we are out in public,” he rubbed my knee, “Now, give daddy a kiss,” I smiled and leaned forward, pressing my lips to his, a heat spreading from my core, “My little girl,” he brushed a hair away from my face, “We can definitely explore this more when we get more time. But now,” he waved his hand to the main sitting area, “Dinner is here and I don’t know about you, I am starving.” he patted my naked butt and I stood.  
“Can I get dressed first?” I inquired  
He turned back to me and looked at me up and down, “I would prefer you to be naked at all times when we are together, but tonight, yes you may get dressed. Don’t take too long.” and he walked out. I almost let out a squeal and I raced to my closet, grabbing the first pants and shirt I could see. Unfortunately for me, they were my old short running shorts I used to wear before being ashamed of my scars and a tank top. I couldn’t change now and I rushed out to the sitting room. He was already seated at my small dining table, “You know how to drive me crazy, don’t you,?” I smiled and sat across from him  
We talked about what had happened over the past two weeks, what his role in the upcoming marriage was. My adventures of picking up guests and other items necessary items for the upcoming union. We talked about normal things. Talked about stuff couples would normally talk about over dinner and even though I was now his, for a lack of a better term, servant, it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. It was, nice.  
After dinner, we sat on the couch and let the food digest, “This was the best dinner I’ve had since our missions were done.” He hummed in agreement.  
My legs propped on top of his lap and his hand was slowly making circles on my ankle. We didn’t have to talk. Just being together did all the talking. But he did break that silence, “The dinner is at 1700 hours. I will come get you at 1645. Now do you trust me?” I nodded, “No, really trust me.”  
I smiled with affirmation, “I do,”  
“I am going to send you a dress that I want you to wear, with shoes..,”  
I interrupted, “No heels please. I can’t walk in them”  
Kylo looked at me, down his nose a bit, “First rule, don’t interrupt me,” I looked down at my lap, “I will take care of the shoes. Now, no matter what the dress looks like, I want you to wear it.” I bit my lip and agreed.  
“What about,” and I lifted my head and pointed at the collar.  
He raised an eyebrow, “Do you not want to wear my collar proudly out in public?”   
“That’s not at all what I meant” I perked up, “I do. I really do. I just don’t...,”  
“I know what you mean. I’ll bring something in its place. Tomorrow, everyone will know that we are as you say, boyfriend and girlfriend. It won’t be a secret anymore. We won’t be a secret anymore” I retracted my feet and climbed forward to straddle his lap.  
His hands came up and cupped my bottom, squeezing it a little, “I will wear anything that you want me to. Your decision,” and I leaned down to kiss him.  
The next day, I took a shower about an hour before he was to come and get me. When I exited the bathroom, a metal box was on my bed that wasn’t there before. Opening the top revealed a beautiful royal blue cloth. I pulled it out and it flowed to the floor. It was beautiful, but what I had noticed was that it had no sleeves. Panic started to rise as I realized that it would only cover my breasts and ended just shy of the shoes. There was a slit that ran up the right side of the entire dress, and was being held together with a matching blue string that criss crossed the entire way up. There would be a lot of skin that would be shown. I was tempted to contact him to explain my concern that with this dress, everyone would be able to see my scars and disfigurement, but our discussion last night came back. He told me to trust him.  
I laid the dress carefully across the bed and picked up the shoes. They were simple flats but little sparkles were dancing across them as the light hit the tops of them. Swallowing the panic, I set about trying and trying to figure out what to do with my hair.  
It was a few minutes before he would be at my door. The dress was beautiful, I had to admit, but the exposure made me want to try to find a jacket to cover up. I had been pacing, unsure about the clothing and about how to wear my hair but finally had decided to let it down and just pin the sides back so I would be able to see. The pad buzzed by my door and I looked at the clock. Always punctual. Getting the to door, I took a deep breath and opened it.  
Kylo stood there, in a form fitted black suit with a blood red undershirt. It was almost buttoned to the neck but left that one undone. His hair was softer that I had ever seen it and he held a genuine smile. He also had both hands behind his back. Before I could say anything, he pulled his arm out, and it was holding a single blue flower, the same as what was on the planet we visited. It was attached to a simple barrett and I took it in my hand, “Thank you,” I said putting the clip over my right ear. The left came out and it was holding a simple, blue velvet choker. Reaching forward, he touched the clasp and it fell away, landing on the floor. He then placed the choker wound my neck.  
“You look stunning, just like I know you would” he said looking at me. Kylo stepped back and held out his arm, “Shall we?”  
I stepped forward into the hallway and heard several gasps behind us before taking his arm and walking away. Before we departed the pilot's area, I heard Ardak exclaim, “I knew it! Pascow! Pay up!” I grinned as he escorted me to the elevator pods.   
After getting in, he turned to me, “That dress looks perfect on you,”  
I looked down at it, smoothing down the side, “I was tempted to contact you to see if we could change the design, but I trust you. I think I’m ready.” I smiled back at him.  
He took my hand and kissed the top of the knuckles, “You are more than ready. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here by your side.”   
We approached the open door where the dinner was being held, and I started to slow down. The thoughts of people looking at me and seeing my imperfections started to crawl into my brain. Kylo patted my hand and propelled me forward. Reaching the door, a man at the entrance looked up at us and turned to the room. There was an audible ding, and the talking inside quieted down. Then he announced us, “Kylo Ren and Captain Septa Kardell,” I just wanted to stay in the hallway but Kylo had already stepped forward and brought me into the room. There were murmurer and hushed talking as we walked down the center of the room toward a long table set up at the front. I kept my gaze on that table and tried to block out everyone staring at me. That was until we passed by where Tev was sitting. I heard her tell her mother, “Look at all the scars! How could Kylo even walk with that, that thing, on his arm. It should be me!” she whined. Her mother turned to her and told her to hush as we walked by.  
We went around the backside of the table and to the last two chairs that were empty. It was between General Hux and General Organa. Kylo stepped forward and slid my chair out, waiting for me to sit. As soon as I was settled, he sat down. Conversations began again in the room and I knew what everyone was talking about. But I became distracted by Organa patting my hand, “That is a beautiful dress,” she complimented.  
“Thank you,” and I gave her a smile.  
“How do you feel about what is going to happen?” I knew she was just trying to make conversation.  
“I think it’s long overdue. Too many people have died, plus I think General Hux and Rey mare a good match for each other.” I looked over and they were holding hands.  
Organa looked past me to the couple of the night, “They are taking the news rather well.”  
General Hux stood and the room went quiet. He began with the normal welcoming speech, thanking everyone who was in attendance for being there and the usual formal greetings. I tried to keep my eyes up toward where Hux was speaking but I kept getting getting a feeling that everyone was looking at me. Panic started to arise and I could feel my hands starting to shake a bit. Then Kylo placed his large hand over mine and I could feel the panic ebb away as he gently squeezed.  
Hux then went on about the upcoming nuptials and in two months there will be a wedding. I could see that he looked down at Rey and she smiled up at him. The speech seemed to go on forever and I could feel that Kylo was getting impatient. I squeezed his hand back. Soon, Hux sat and the conversation in the room came back up. While the food was being severed, Kylo turned toward me, “How are you feeling?” he asked.  
I shrugged, “A little apprehensive, but fine,”  
“Good. If you feel like you are losing control, tell me.” and he turned to talk to Hux.  
“I don’t know what you did to my son,” Organa said, “But thank you.”  
I blushed, “I don’t know what you mean. He’s still the same,”  
“You may not know it, but you are the reason why we all are here tonight.” I looked at her quizzically, and she leaned further in, “It’s because of you that he wanted to end this war. You touched something inside of him. You are special,”  
The food was placed in front of us before we could talk about it more. There was meat and some vegetables with a soup of some sorts. A reddish liquid was poured into a glass next to the plate and I just sat staring at the food, thinking back to that morning where he hand fed me on his lap. Kylo must have noticed something and he leaned over, “Is there something wrong?” concern in his voice.  
I shook my head “It’s just that...” I huffed a little and whispered into his ear, “I would rather have you feed it to me,”  
He sideways up at me and responded, “It would be my pleasure to feed my little girl all the food she needs.” I blushed a little as he sat back. I picked up my fork and began to eat.   
The rest of the night was pretty boring. More speeches and desert came through. Soon, various guests started to leave to head back to their rooms and eventually there was only a handful of people left and most were sitting at a table talking. Kylo and myself stayed seated during the entire event and I was leaning back into the chair, eyes getting heavy with sleep. General Organa had already departed so all I was left with was watching the crowd and holding onto Kylos hand. He didn’t seem to mind as various people would come over and talk to him. It wasn’t until I felt my head drop that I knew that it was time to go. Giving his hand a squeeze, I straightened further in my seat.  
He quickly ended his conversation with one of the officers before turning to me. Just looking at my face, he knew, “Tired?” I just nodded, “Alright, let's get you to bed,” and he stood.   
As we walked back to my room, I leaned against his side and he put his arms around my shoulder, holding me close. When we got to my door, I asked, “Can you stay?”  
“For you, yes,” and we entered. He stopped just inside of the door and picked up the collar that had fallen earlier, “Is this anyway for you to treat my collar this way?”  
I protested, “Hey, you were the one that took it off and let it drop,”  
He rounded on me, “You should have picked it up, and placed it somewhere safe,” I could hear a bit of anger in his voice.  
“I’m still learning,” I said, trying to stand my ground.  
Kylo cupped the side of my face, “I know you are. That’s why you’ll only receive ten tonight.”  
“Ten. Ten what?” I had an idea.  
“Smacks against your rear. First, let’s get you ready for bed,” and he clasped my hand, pulling me toward the direction of my bedroom. Was he really going to spank me? It wasn’t my fault. He stopped me in the middle of the room and turned to face me, “You are so beautiful,” and leaned down to kiss me. Kylo then hooked his thumbs on the dress right below my armpits and slowly dragged them down, my breasts coming out, all the way to the floor. Indicating for me to step out, I obeyed and stood there, naked. The way the dress was made, it was impossible to wear any type on underwear without it showing. He went into my closet to put the dress away and came back out. He passed by me and sat at the edge of my bed, crooking a finger at me, “Come here,” and patted his leg. Reluctantly, I walked over and he grabbed my waist, “Are you ready?” I shook my head, “It’s okay. I will try to make it quick.” and he guided me over his lap. I braced my hands on the floor and he held my waist. His hand was rubbing my rear before it lifted away and came down hard as his hand landed right where my thigh and butt met. I hissed and clenched my fists. Kylo then gripped my hip and one after another, he hit each cheek. By the fifth hit, I was crying out, begging him to stop but he kept going. I had tears threatening to come out when he finished. His hand rubbed my backside as I clenched my eyes from the pain, “It’s over now,” he reassured me and helped me stand back up between his legs. He held out his hand that held the leash, “Do you want this back on?” I nodded, “When you receive this from me, I want you to kneel, think you can do that?” I dropped to my knees and looked up at him, “Good girl,” Taking off the blue choker, he once again fastened the collar back on. Leaning forward, I hugged him around his waist, still on my knees. He rubbed my back as I sat there, not wanting to say anything. “Come on up.” he said in a sifter voice and I stood. He turned me around so I was facing away. He cupped my butt, “My hand prints looks very lovely on you.” He guided me a couple feet away and I heard rustling behind me. I looked over my shoulder and he was in the process of taking off his clothes. When Kylo was done, he was just standing in front of me in his underwear and the leash still coiled around his wrist. Holding out his hand, I took it and we both settled down in bed, me facing away and he pressed against my back. With a wave of his hand, my blanket came up to cover us both and the lights turned off. I was asleep in minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

I was the first to wake the next morning and I had to peel Kylo’s limbs from around me. He was holding on as if I would have floated away. But I had to use the restroom, so finally freeing myself from the cage of flesh, I sat up but scrunched my face from a slight stinging coming from my bottom. It was humiliating that he spanked me but I didn’t want to protest. Besides, I felt kind of good. The vibrations from his hits reverberated through my core and I had to squeeze my legs together as a familiar heat came back.  
Coming back from the refresher, Kylo had woken up and had his head propped up on his hand, “I don’t recall giving you permission to leave this bed.”  
I crossed my arms and looked at him, “Well, my bladder says otherwise.”  
He just smiled at my and held out his arms. Walking over, I climbed in and straddled his waist, resting my head on his chest. I could hear a heartbeat and I could also feel something poking my belly. His hands slowly rubbed my shoulders and he placed a kiss at the top of my head. “I have to get up soon,” I said, “We have to start taking the visitors home,”  
Kylo held out his hand and my data pad flew into it. He typed in a few things then placed it on my desk. Bringing the covers back up so it covered my shoulders, “I just sent a message to your copilot that you are indisposed of for the day,” and he hugged me closer.  
I looked up at him, “I may be dating the most powerful and,” I ran my finger across his bicep, “strongest man in the galaxy, but I do still have a job to do,”  
He flexed a little at the sound of strongest, “You can miss one day. He’ll be fine” he petted my hair, “How’s your bottom?”  
Wiggling to get in a more comfortable position, “It stings just a little, but I like it.”  
Smiling, “I can make it so that you can feel it for days after,” he bucked his hips causing me to scoot further up his chest, his hands squeezing my rear, “I wonder how it would look like, with stripes going across it,”  
I smiled back, “It would be very hard to fly for a long period of time.”  
“That’s the point.”   
“We can try that out at a later time, please,” I climbed up a bit further so my face was level to his and kissed him. His hands cupped my ass again and he thrusted up, his hardness, pushing against my core. I moaned a bit at the interaction.  
“Just say the word, and I’ll give it to you,” he thrusted again, this time the cloth brushed up against my clit.   
I gasped and opened my eyes wide. It felt good. More than good. But I couldn’t bring myself to go there, not just yet, “I’m... I’m not ready,” I whispered and looking back into his eyes.  
He hugged me closer, “That’s fine. Just tell me when you are,” and he kissed my forehead.

Over the next couple weeks, I would come back from running missions and I would find Kylo in my rooms, either sitting on my couch reading his data pad or on my bed, listening to my music. I was starting to wonder if he was going to start bringing his stuff to my room and just live there. One afternoon before dinner, we were on the couch, he was sitting upright, and I was laying down, my head on his lap. We had just finished a sparring session and had taken a shower together. He was in a pair of black boxers and I had on a simple, pair of white underwear with a white tank top. My hair was still wet and he was playing with a strand of it. I broke the silence first, “How come we are always in my rooms?”  
There was no immediate answer but he did stop playing with my hair, “That is a very good question. Maybe it’s because my rooms are cold and dark. And it doesn’t smell of you,” He looked down at me, “Would you like to have dinner there tonight?”  
Looking up, I thought about it, “That would be nice. Then I can see what type of dungeon you live in,”  
He brought his hand down and traced his finger along my collar that I still wore, “It would be a proper place for me. Living in a dungeon. You chained to a wall to never leave,”  
“It’s not nice to tease,” I smirked.  
“I might just have to chain you to my bed until I can get something mounted on my wall.” he leaned down and kissed me, “It’s almost dinner. Let's get dressed,” he smiled.  
As we entered the elevator that would send us up to his room, the doors stopped and General Hux came in, “Ah. Just the person I wanted to talk to,” I could tell he was taking to Kylo for he didn’t look at me, “I need to borrow your shuttle and crew in a few days.”  
“And for what reason?” he replied back, a deadpan look on his face. Much different than I was used to anymore.  
“I would like to take Rey to Courrasaunt for a couple of days. We haven’t had the time to get to know each other.” I could tell he was hiding a smile.  
He looked down at me and I just stared at the wall, “It’s none of my concern what you two will be doing. That should be fine.”  
“Good,” the elevator stopped on a floor and Hux walked out. The door closed again and we were heading further up.  
“I’ll be gone for a few days. Whatever will you do?” I joked.  
But he rounded and pressed his body against mine against the wall. I looked into his eyes, “I will be missing you laying next to me at night,” and swooped down for a kiss.  
We exited the elevator and stepped into a dim hallway. The black walls were polished to a reflective surface and in between the panels, thin strips of lights emitting just enough so you can see your way. We got halfway down the hallway and he turned to a door. After entering the pass code, he swept his arm forward and I walked inside.  
There wasn’t much in the decor. The inside was just about the same as was in the hallway. Two black couches were in the middle, a few feet apart and facing each other. Off to the right, a six person table with a light hanging over it. To the left, another door which I assumed was his bed room, “Yup, a dungeon,” I remarked as he stepped by me. He smiled again and held out his hand. Giving him mine, he led me over to the table and pulled out a chair for me. Then going over to a nearby console, he punched a few things that I couldn't see then sat next to me.  
“Dinner will be served soon,” he turned his chair toward me, “So, these are my rooms,” he waved around.  
“Nice. It suits you,” I smirked.  
He looked at me up and down, “You mentioned a few weeks ago that the food would taste better if I had fed it to you,” I nodded, “Stand,” he commanded. I did as he asked, “Strip, and hand me your clothes.”  
I looked at like he had two heads, “What?”  
“Are you questioning me? Do it or you won’t like what happens if you disobey” his expression darkened. Not wanting to get my butt smacked, I set out taking off my uniform. Every piece I gave him, he folded and placed it on the seat of my chair. I had just given him my bra and hooked my thumbs into my underwear, “Stop. Turn around,” I did as he asked, “Now remove them,” Pulling the cloth down, I bent down to remove them from my feet, giving him a full view, “Beautiful,” I heard him say behind me. I turned and gave him the clothing and stayed standing in front. Just then, there was a buzz at the door and I turned my head quickly, starting to cover myself to block anything someone could see. He quickly stood and grabbed my wrists, pinning them to my side, “No,” he whispered, “Never cover up besides, I wouldn’t let anyone see what is mine. It’s just the droid bringing the food,” My breathing began to calm down as the droid puttered in. He let go and sat down, letting the robot take a food tray from it’s chest area and place it in front of him.   
After the droid left and the door closed and locked, “Kneel,” he pointed to a spot between his legs. Biting my lip, I did as he asked, the cold floor seeping through my knees, “Hands behind your back and keep them there,” I clutched my left wrist and did what he asked me to. Kylo reached over plucked what looked like a grape and held it out in front of my face, “Eyes on me while you eat,” Keeping my eyes fixed on his, I leaned forward and and took the fruit with my mouth, sucking on his fingers for a second. I heard him groan in approval.  
Sitting on my knees, letting Kylo feed me by hand was one of the most peaceful and calming experiences I’ve had in a very long time. I didn’t have to think about what was on the plate. The knowledge of him knowing what was good and giving it to me was fine enough. My whole body was tingling at the end and after mulling about my decision during the last couple of weeks, I spoke up after swallowing the last of the food, “I want... I need...” I tried to speak.  
He caressed my face, “What is it that you need?” he said gently.  
“Please, can you please touch me?”  
I saw his eyes darken, “Oh, like this?” and he traced his finger along my jawline. I gave out a whimper, clenched my legs together, and shook my head, “I think I know what you mean,” He stood, bent down to help me on my feet then scooped me up, and carried me over to the couch, settling me sideways on his lap. He kept his right arm around my shoulders to support me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “You look so delectable, sitting on my lap, naked,” I shivered a little as his left hand lightly came up my naked thigh and up my abdomen to cup my left breast, tweaking the nipple just a bit. I gasped at the feel and I turned my head into his chest. Kylo’s hand then ventured over to the right and did the same, giving out a chuckle as I gave out a small moan.   
He then splayed his hand out down my abdomen, then up my thigh, pulling my legs apart. I let them fall away giving him access to where I needed to be tough the most. Taking his pointer finger, he traced the crease where the top of my inner thigh meets the top, teasing me, “Please,” I whimpered.  
“Please what? Do you want me to touch your little cunt?” he breathed into my ear.  
“Yes,” I gasped.  
“Yes what?” he continued to tease the same spot.  
“Yes please,” I moaned.  
He continued to tease, “Yes what?”  
I didn’t know what he wanted, but then it came to me, “Yes, Sir,”  
“Good girl,” and he dragged that finger lightly from the bottom of my entrance to just above my clit. I was in ecstasy. Even when I brought myself to completion, it never felt like this before. I spread my legs out even more, wanting him to keep going. He didn’t disappoint. Kylo dragged that finger up the same route but this time, a bit harder, his finger sepperading my folds and up through the wetness I already knew was there. I squealed when it came up from under the hood of my clit, flicking it a little, “Look at you, writing on my lap, wanting more of my touch.” he continued to follow that path over and over again. I began to arch into his finger, wanting more pressure, “Do you want more, baby?”   
I nodded then remembered what type of answer he wanted, “Yes, Sir. Please, more” I breathed heavier.  
He began to rub just my clit, a bit harder, and I moaned, “Only I can give you this,” he began to rub faster, “Only I am able to touch you here,”. I was crying out at this point but whined when he stopped, “May I put my finger inside?” I knew he could have just done that, but he took my feeling into account. I thought about it for a second, knowing that nothing had been in there for a very long time. Biting my lip, I let go of the past and what I was afraid of and answering him with a yes. He kissed my temple and began to slowly insert the digit into my cunt. I was so wet and turned on that there was no pain, only pleasure. Especially when he began to slowly began to push it in and pull out, all the while his thumb slowly circling the nub.  
I cried out and threw my head back. He leaned his head down and caught my mouth with his, swallowing my loud moan, “You’re not going to last long, are you?” he whispered.  
“No, Sir,” I responded in a higher pitch voice.  
He picked up the pace. Soon I was moaning louder than I knew I ever could. I was bucking into his hand as he went faster and faster and I could hear the squelching my cunt made as he pumped his finger in and out, “You are so tight,” he said into my ear, “I can’t wait to drive my cock into it,”  
The coil that had been spooling up suddenly broke. I screamed, his hand that was around my shoulder came around and covered my mouth, muffling my noise as my whole body convulsed and I saw stars. It was more pleasure than what I could ever had imagined. His hand was still moving during the orgasm, my juices spilling onto his hand.  
As the pleasure wave subsided, he slowed his hand till it stilled. His finger was still inside and I shivered from the pleasure as he withdrew. I then saw him bring his hand up to his face and sucked on the finger that was inside of me. He hummed in pleasure before turning to me and I looked at him with hooded eyes, “I can’t wait to taste you from the source,” I closed my eyes again and clung onto his chest, basking in the afterglow. I then felt a blanket being wrapped around me and tucked in.  
Again he stood with me in his arms and walked over to his bedroom door. Hearing it whoosh open, he stepped inside and walked a few feet before laying me down gently on his bed. I didn’t get a chance to look around because the lights were off. But I did hear rustling of clothes and felt the bed dip behind me before a blanket was pulled up, and Kylo nestled in behind me, holding me tight. In a matter of seconds, I was asleep.

My copilot and myself were standing at the bottom of the ramp, awaiting the arrival of General Hux. Kylo Ren was also there but he wanted to talk with me, but in a hushed tone. We had already spent the morning together, “I’ll miss you,” I told him.  
He smiled a little, “And I will miss you too. If you need me, just call on the com. Be careful,” I knew I could handle any situation that may arise but it was nice to know that someone cared.  
“I will,” I reassured him, “I’ll contact you when we get there. I’ve been informed that we going to pick Rey up before going to our destination,”  
He just gave an approved hum. The General finally came out into the hanger, a trooper carrying a box behind him. Kylo turned to him as he approached the ramp, “Be careful with my ship and crew. They are a valuable asset to me,” I hid a smile.  
“Don’t worry, Ren,” he regarded him, “I’ll bring her back in one piece,” I didn’t know if he was referring to me or the ship. After he went past, my copilot and myself ascended the ramp and went to our respective seats. From my chair, I could see Kylo standing off to the side, looking up. I knew his gaze was on me. Smiling, we did the necessary start up procedure and made our way out of the hanger and into space.  
“It’s nice to see that your relationship with our Supreme Leader hasn’t distracted you from your duties, Captain,” Hux remarked from the seat where Kylo would have taken.  
“Yes, Sir. I have not forgotten that I have a job to complete.” and I guided the shuttle down to the planet below.  
We touched down at a small pad just outside of a jungle base. Hux informed us to stay on board and he would retrieve his future wife. I saw him smile at the remark before disembarking.  
My copilot turned to me, “So when are you going to get married to Kylo Ren?”  
“Excuse me?” startled at the question.  
“General Hux is going to get married, thus making the end of the war official. When are you going to marry?” Ardak prodded.  
Marriage? I just found someone that accepted me for who I was, marriage was not even in the picture right now, “When are you going to marry that mechanic?” I threw it back into his face.  
He smiled, “When we get back, I plan to ask.”  
“Wow. Well congratulations if she says yes,” expressing my feelings, watching Hux walk back with Rey, her arm on his. A golden droid was following along with a wookie who was carrying a large box. “That was fast,” I remarked and turned a few things on that were shut off. Soon, Hux and Rey were on the bridge and the wookie walked out from the shuttle and back to the buildings. The droid was not with him.   
“Let us leave, then,” and he had Rey sit in Kylos chair.  
“This is exciting. I’ve never been to a city that lived in clouds,” I could hear the excitement in her voice as I pulled us away from the pad and out into space.  
“I will show you everything that the galaxy has to offer you. It’s not all desert planets,” Hux said.  
As soon as we were out of the atmosphere, I took one last look at the Finalizer, knowing that Kylo was there, and we took off into hyperspace.  
The trip took about and a half an hour. In the meantime, I had to listen to Rey and Hux talk about the upcoming wedding that was going to be held in a few weeks but soon, my thoughts came back to Kylo. Just the thought of him brought a smile to my face and I sat back, looking through my data pad.  
I brought the shuttle down on a platform that was just above the clouds cover of the city, and there were several troopers standing at the edge, waiting for the ramp to descend so they could board and retrieve the luggage of the happy couple. We waited until they were off the ship and into the building before gathering our things and followed a single trooper to where we would be housed until we left again. But that would be for a few days so we were on leave until then.  
My room sat directly across from my copilot's and a few doors down from where the couple would be staying. Ardak asked if I wanted to go to the cantina for lunch but I politely declined. I just wanted to stay in my room for the rest of the day, but I would join him for lunch tomorrow.  
Going inside, I immediately pulled out my data pad and brought up a window, 'We just arrived,’ I typed.  
It was a few minutes later that I got a response, 'Good. What are your plans?’  
'I was going to have lunch then find out if they have a training room. You?’ kicking off my shoes.  
'I'm on the bridge at the moment.’  
'Ah. So you're not in private are you.’ I smirked, sitting on the bed, ‘So I shouldn't tell you things like, me wanting to be kneeling at your feet right now, your leashed attached to my collar,’  
There was a moment before he responded, 'Be careful, little girl,’  
I was grinning now, 'Or how about if I was laying across your lap, you spanking me and my ass turning a bright red,’  
'If you don't stop now, you will experience that when you return,’  
'Would you throw me over you lap or would you make me crawl to you, and place myself over it?’ I was beginning to get turned on at the thought of either scenarios.  
'Last warning. Stop or I will use a belt and bruise that rear, making it impossible to sit for a week,’  
Deciding to quit while I was ahead, 'Yes, Sir.’  
'Good girl. Now go eat lunch. I will message you tonight,’  
The communication line cut out and I felt like a love struck teenager messaging him naughty things. But it was fun.  
I returned to my rooms later that evening. Finding the training rooms, I had quickly changed and got in a good two hour workout. Dinner was sitting at the only desk in the room, so after a shower, I dug into the food. The city had decent enough food. Steak and potatoes were on the menu tonight with a side of fruit.  
I had been sitting back on my bed, listening to music as I read something on my pad, when I got a weird feeling. That feeling made me drop my pad and stare at the wall. It wasn’t a feeling like I got when I would anticipate Kylo wanting to leave or if he was in trouble. It was a foreboding feeling, like something bad was about to happen. My heart started to beat faster and stronger. A beep from the pad brought my attention back.  
‘Hello,’ Kylo messaged me.  
Calming my breathing I responded, ‘Hi. Are you okay?’ I had to make sure that he was alright.  
‘Yes. I’m sitting at my desk, Why?’  
‘I just got a weird feeling. Like something bad is about to happen.’  
‘Do you need me to come to you? I can leave right now and be there in thirty minutes.’ I could almost hear the worry in his messages.  
‘No. I don’t think that’s necessary. It’s just a feeling.’  
‘Feeling can be premonitions. Remind me to start teaching you when you get back.’  
‘Alright.’  
‘How was your training?’  
‘It was fine. They didn’t have the usual equipment but I made do.’  
We chatted for a while talking about what happened during the day and what types of plans there were for the wedding. After a while, I was beginning to get tired, ‘I wish you were here. It doesn’t feel right going to sleep without you.’  
‘Me too. I’ll talk to you in the morning. If you need me, let me know. I will get you. Stay safe.’  
‘Good night.’ and I laid my pad to the side and fell asleep.  
I dreamed of a large, metal box that night. The box began to spin around and a panel opened where there was no indication of one. Deep breathing could be heard and I pursued forward, looking in. Ropes were hanging from the ceiling, taught from something being hung from them. Vomit and excrement were on the floor beneath a darkened figure. I couldn't make out what or who it was, but then, blood started to flow from it. The figure convulsed then disappeared. As soon as it did, I woke, out of breath, sweating and sat up. My room was dark save for a little orange light that was peeking from below my windows shade. I clutched the blanket closer and started to calm my breathing and racing heart.  
A peep came from my pad, ‘Septa? Are you alright?’  
How did he know I would be up, I thought, ‘I just had a very strange dream,’  
‘Are you alright?’  
‘I’m fine now.’  
‘Say the word and I’ll leave here,’  
‘I’ll be fine. It was just a dream,’  
‘Tell me about it,’ It took me a while but I typed out everything that I had seen and how I woke up. ‘If you sense anything strange, contact me immediately. I don’t want you to ignore those feelings. I will teach you how to control them and how to use them.’  
We talked for a little while longer until a knock came at my door. I told him that breakfast was here so he signed off.  
After eating, I dressed and decided to take a walk inside the city. There were many merchants tucked neatly in their respective cubbyholes. People and creatures were coming and going. They had imports from other planets where hopefully they would be bought. I looked at little trinkets, and as I walked around, I stopped at one of the small shops. A matching jewelry set that had caught my eye. As I stopped to look at it more, an old woman came forward, “Having an eye on that I see. It’s a very peculiar piece. It’s made for a Master,” then she paused and looked at me, “Or a Mistress. The choker is made from dursteel but polished to a high luster. The matching chain is the same and neither can be broken. The ring is set up so that only the person wearing it can take the choker or chain off. The black and dark blue jewels go together nicely and the ring is adjustable,” The jewel on the collar were situated that a large black one was at the front and the two smaller blue ones were on it’s side. A small black jewel was at the back where the chain met. The ring was the same. A black jewel and two small blue ones on either side. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it and all I could think of was giving Kylo them when the timing was right.  
“I’ll take them,” I told the lady. After giving her the credits, she handed me a simple black velvet box and I went off, heading back to my room to place it in my luggage. On the way there, I bumped into my copilot, “There you are. Ready for lunch?”  
“Get us a table. I got a gift for Kylo when we return and I want to put it away first,” Unbenounced to me, someone was watching me at a distance. I had just closed the door to my room, ready to go to lunch, when a heavy arm rammed into my back and shoved me against the wall. Then a voice that I thought I would never hear again, “Look at you, thirteen. A proper officer, and seeing the galaxy,”  
“Deni, release me. You won’t like what will happen if you don’t,” I tried to hide my terror but I knew it wasn’t working.  
“Release you?” he chuckled in my ear, “I just found you. I’ve missed you, ya know. You screamed so prettily around my cock. You want that again, don’t you?” I shook my head frantically, “Yeah you do. You miss it. Guess what, you won’t have to miss it anymore. Just like no one is going to miss you,” Before I could scream, my mouth was covered and a sack was placed over my head. My hands were forcefully bound behind my back and I tried to kick when I felt the same going around my ankles. A blow to the back of my head, then everything went dark.


	12. Chapter 12

When I came around, I could feel things around my ankles and wrists, and my limbs being pulled in opposite directions. My knees ached from the cold floor, and my vision was still blurry. I tried to speak out but couldn’t form sentences. That’s when I felt a familiar piece of metal in my mouth. It pried my mouth wide, metal circle holding it open, and covering my teeth at the same time. Groaning, the the room started to come into focus. With eyes opening wide, I recognized it as the room in my dreams, and tried to looked around as best as I could. A single light was above me but I could tell the they were the plain walls of a ship and the hum of the engines told me that we were traveling, and not docked. Looking over, I saw that my wrists were being pulled to either side, stretching me wide and my knees were bruised and far apart. Trying to shift my feet, I found that they were locked in shackles as well and that were bolted to the floor. I tugged and tugged on my restraints, willing myself to get out. The thought of being in this position again made bile grow in my throat and I began to thrash in my bounds. I needed to get out.   
I must have alerted someone that I was awake, when when the door slid open, I gave out a scream as Deni walked in, smirking, “Number thirteen. I have missed you,” he walked around me, “Did you know that you were my favorite? Your mouth was so soft and inviting. Remember when you used to beg to suck my cock?” he came around the front and squatted down to my level.   
He was just as ugly as I had remembered him. A burn scar covered half his body and the top of his head had spattering of hair. His rotten, crooked grin, smiled at me and his one good, orange eye, traveled down my body and to my neck, “I’m going to eventually take this,” he tugged on the collar I still had on, “And if it’s from chopping your head off to get it, I won’t think twice,” Tears started to run down my cheeks and he wiped them away with his long, grimy fingers. I tried to move my head, but he just grasped my chin, “Do you remember how my cock tasted and felt?” I tried to shake my head away from his grasp, but he held firm, “Let’s see if I can help you remember how it felt,” Standing, he dropped his pants and I could see that he was already hard. I tried to turn away but he grabbed my hair and shoved his penis it all the way to the hilt. My gag reflexes started to try and reject the foreign object but it couldn’t. His hand held the back of my head, “Yes. It feels like home. You’ll learn to love it again. Just like you’ll learn to love everyone's cock on this ship, like you used to,” he slowly pulled out and thrust it back in, “Oh, I’m sorry. We took you away right before lunch time. You must be so hungry. You’ll feed on my cum,” and he began to pick up the pace. Tears flowed freely down my face as I tried to pull back but with his hand at the back of my head, it was impossible. All I could do is just pray that he would be done soon.  
It didn’t take long and he held his cock in, fully inserted in my mouth and I could feel his load, sliding down my throat, “Yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to be. You just living off of my cum.” and he pulled out. I gasped and gagged as he stepped away and I thrashed about, hoping that one of my restraints would give way. I had to get out. I’ve lived this nightmare once before, I didn’t want to live it again for the rest of my life. I needed to get back to Kylo. I needed him. Only he would keep me safe.   
I began to whimper as he brought out from behind his back, a single tailed whip, “You remember this,” he held it to my face, “You have the scars all over your back. Those ugly, ugly scars. They are hideous aren't they? What did those silly, little brats at the academy say about them when you finally let them to see?,” I cried out, trying to shake those words out of my head. They aren't ugly. Kylo told me so. Deni stood ,”I want to see you how you usually are. Bleeding from your back and cum dripping from your mouth, but since you already swallowed my seed,” He stepped out of my view, “I’m going to have to beat the shit out of you, until I get hard again. Now, don’t forget to scream, really, really loudly,” then I heard a whooshing sound, and a strip of what could only be described as fire, went across my back. Screaming, I tried to get away but the restraints held me in place. I had no place to hide as the blows came one by one, up and down my back, and eventually, I passed out from the pain.  
Drifting in and out of consciousness, time was lost to me. My arms and legs were shackled for so long that, when I tried to move them, they wouldn’t respond. The only way I knew my limbs were still there is when I looked over. They were still there and with wrists bleeding from the metal cutting deeply into the skin. I would come around sometimes as I was being face fucked by one of the crew. Most of them pulled out before completion, letting it land on my face and just inside of my mouth. Deni though, he would always hold himself in as he came, calling me his cum whore. If he held in for too long, I would pass out from the lack of oxygen and slip into blissful darkness, unable to feel anything else he was doing to me. Other times, I would still be awake as he whipped me relentlessly, and it wasn’t centralized on my back. The marks were all over my arms, legs, and chest. Many time I had prayed for death. The constant abuse was getting to be too much.   
My one eye was shut because Deni thought it would be fun to use my body as his personal punching bag. The screams I used to make grew silent from the abuse of my throat and voice. My excrement were on the floor as I couldn’t hold in my bowels or bladder. I would be beaten because of that. The entire room smelled awful. He would often kick me in my side, reminding me on how filthy I was and who I belonged to. But in my mind, I knew who I truly belonged to and I hung onto Kylo’s memory as that was the only thing that kept me alive and going. I just knew I would be found one day. Even if it would just be my remains.  
It was one day when Deni was taking his sweet time and telling me that he would use my other holes soon, when the entire ship shook and the engines were powered down. “What the hell was that?” he said into the empty room, pulling out some till the tip of his dick was just inside of my mouth. There, he spilled his cum. Most of it leaked out around his cock and pooled onto the floor, “Stupid bitch,” he kicked my side and this time I swore I felt something break inside, “You were supposed to swallow,” he screamed at me as he pulled out a knife.  
Just then, one of the crew men ran in, “Sir, it’s the Finalizer,” my ears perked up. I was so close to home, “They are doing a mandatory check of every ship,” he looked at me, “They are searching for someone,”  
Deni quickly stab me in my side, “Hopefully I can be back in time to be able to stop the blood. If not, just know that you are going to die with a belly full of my seed,” he stood and stormed out, ”Bar the door,” he shouted at the crew, “Make sure there isn’t any sign of a hidden panel,” and the door shut. I looked down and saw a slow moving river of blood going down my right thigh. I closed my eyes and a few more tears I didn’t know I had, rolled down my face. I was so close to being found, but they wouldn’t even know there was a hidden door. So close to home and to Kylo.  
The ship jolted as I felt it settle on the hanger floor. Gathering what energy I could, I tried to picture Kylo, and mentally sent him a message that I was here, that I needed to be saved. That I needed him. Muffled footsteps of troopers marching past the panel were heard and shouts of protests as the crew were escorted off the ship. It was quiet after that and more tears started to flow. They were never going to find me. I knew Deni. He would have made sure that any trace of my presence would be eradicated. Then I heard voices. They were muffled but I could hear what they were saying as they were right outside of the panel, “General, there are no other signs and we checked all the possible containers that she may be hiding in.”  
There was a pause, “Ren is getting desperate but he swore that he could feel her on this ship. Are you sure you checked everything? A hidden panel?”  
“Yes, Sir,” Kylo was going mad looking for me and tried to struggle, to make any noise that would tell them I was in here. My vision was starting to darken from the blood loss and somehow, I mustered up all strength as I could and tried with all of my might, to push something, a heartbeat, in every direction.  
It wasn’t a few seconds later that I heard footsteps that sounded like running, “Ren,” Hux exclaimed, “We looked everywhere. There’s no sign of her,”  
“Move,” Even though it was muffled, I could tell it was Kylo. It sounded desperate and pained. A rumble echoed inside of the room and a started to crumple along the edges. It was ripped away from the wall and slowly pulled back. The onslaught of light was painful to my eyes and I heard Hux gasp. Then, Kylo let out a most guttural scream before flinging the door away and out into the hanger. I could hear Hux yelling for the medical crew and Kylo scrambled in and dropped to his knees in front of me, grasping my face and forcing it up. I could see pain and worry on his face, “No, no no. What did they do to you?” he whispered and tears swelled in his eyes . I felt him remove the metal device from my mouth and my jaw stayed in it’s position, tongue flopping out of my mouth. Darkness started to creep further in and I could feel myself fading. If I died, then I was able to see his face one last time. “Come on, stay with me,” I heard him say, “I’ve got you,” . It sounded so far away. He shouted for a trooper to come in and cut the bonds as he draped his cloak over my body As soon as my bonds were cut, Kylo hauled me into his arms, and carried me out, my head covered by the hood.  
The last thing I remembered was being carried out into the hanger, and the feeling Kylo running to the elevator.

A rhythmic beeping was the first thing I heard when I finally woke. It was melodic and calming. Concentrating more, I made out that it was a heartbeat. My heartbeat. So I didn’t die, I thought to myself. I was quite content with just hearing that until another sound joined in. A constant whooshing sound of air being sucked in then out that had a constant flow. Pressure started to build in my chest and for a second, I thought it was going to burst, until it went away. Something was doing the breathing for me as I had no control. Gaining some feeling in my face, I felt a pressure being applied around my mouth and nose, especially one going down my throat. Groggily, I made the attempt to open at least one eyelid to look around, but when I did, I groaned at how bright the lights were. There was a hurried movement next to my chair and a hand was placed on my shoulder, “Septa?” I heard a female's voice say. My memory brought forth a picture that matched the voice I was hearing. It was Rey. I moved my head to the side and whimpered a bit, trying to get away from the light. The hand left and I heard more shuffling before hearing a door open|, “Someone get Ren” I heard her scream down a hallway. The sound reverberated through the room and I groaned again, trying in vain to bring my hand up. I was weak and something was sticking into my hand. She had come back and grabbed my other hand. Thankfully there wasn't anything sticking in there, “Septa!” She said loudly and I turned my head away groaning, “Sorry,” she said in a whisper, “Thank goodness you are alive,” squeezing my hand. I tried to vocalize something but there was pain in my throat and the obstruction. “It's okay. You're okay. You're in the medical ward.” I moaned again, still not wanting to open my eyes, “Ren should be here soon,” she patted my hand, I guess trying to be comforting, “He had not left your side since he brought you in here. After six days, I had to send him away to at least shower,”  
Six days? I've been here for six days. A single tear escaped my eye and I tried again to move my hand. She must have left the door open because I heard heavy footsteps running down the corridor before hearing it skid to a halt, then running inside of the room. My other hand was gently grasped, “I thought I was going to lose you,” hearing Kylos voice, I wanted to smile and open my eyes, but I couldn't. Whatever was in my mouth and the bright lights just made me groan again and squint my eyes, “Rey, dim the lights please,” Not a moment later, the harsh white lights were dimmed to a comfortable level, and I opened one eye just a sliver. Somehow, my other did not want to respond. The familiar ceiling of the medical ward came into view and I slowly turned my head in his direction. Kylo looked like shit. His eyes looked more of a sunken in look, and I could tell he hadn't been eating. His skin had taken on a whitefish look and his eyes were bloodshot. His hair was wet from what Rey told me, a shower. Tears were roll down his face squeezed his hand the best I could, and he reciprocated, “You're safe now. I'm here and that will never change again,” he placed his hand gently on the top of my head, “I've moved your things to my room. I won’t have you so far away me. I'm... I'm so sorry...” his voice started to crack as more tears streamed down his face, “I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you,” he finally blurted out, “I promised to never let anything happen to you again but it did,”  
“I'll get the doctor,” I heard Rey say and she left.  
“I failed you. I don't deserve you,” and he laid his head on my hand, crying. I somehow got the strength to move my other hand and snake it across to the top of his head, massaging the scalp as much as I could. “Please, forgive me,” he choked out in a whisper. I couldn't see him like this anymore. It wasn't his fault. I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. Giving his hair a little tug, I wanted to get him to raise his head. He did and the only response I could give him was a slight nod of head. He smiled again and kissed my hand, “Thank you.”   
Just then, the door opened and an actual doctor stepped in. Kylo did his best to compose himself and quickly started to wipe away the tears. The doctor walked around to the other side of the bed and looked down at me, “Captain Kardell, it's so good to see you awake at last,” he took placed his hand over top of the eye that I couldn't open, “The bone is healing quite nicely. The swelling should go down in a few days.” He sat down in the chair Rey had previously occupied, “You're going to be here for a while. There is a lot of healing that needs to be done. Now, there is existential bruising of..,”  
Kylo cut him off, “I'll tell her later. She needs her rest,” It felt nice having him take care of me again, “When can the tube come out? “  
The doctor looked at me, then to him, “At the least, tomorrow. I want to make sure her lungs are healed before she can breath on her own again,” he sighed, “There was a lot of damage. I'm hoping that it will heal and the Captain can speak again. She won't be able to talk until that time. And Sir?” Kylo looked up at him, “Might I suggest that you get something to eat? She is awake and you need nourishment,” Kylo nodded and the doctor left.  
I looked back over at him and squeezed his hand as best as I could. He smiled at me and placed a gentle hand on my forehead, “I'm glad that you are awake, but you need to rest again. Sleep. I'll be here when you wake,” and he kissed my head. I let my eye close and was in slumber.  
The sound of people talking woke me and I recognized the voices of Kylo and Hux. I kept my eyes closed as to not interrupt and just listened, “We can't not feed them any more. If you want to personally extract revenge, they need to be fed at the very least. They will die before you even get a chance,”  
Kylo spoke up to my right, “Starving to death is the least of their worries.”  
“I know that,” hearing Hux pace, ”But they still have to eat. With the end of the war, we can not treat prisoners like we used to.”  
There was a pause. Then Kylo spoke up, “The bare minimum then. Only enough to keep them alive.”  
Hux sighed, “Fine. What exactly are your plans, may I ask?”  
“I don't know yet. But they will suffer. They took Septa from me and held her for five days. I am pretty sure I will think of something.”  
Five days on that ship, getting abused, and six in a coma? That was too long. I groaned, partly because I didn't want to hear any more, and I really wanted this breathing tube out.  
“I will talk to you then,” Hux said and quietly left the room.  
Kylo held my hand and squeezed it, “You're awake,” I opened my good eye again, this time a bit wider than yesterday, and looked at him, “I will call the doctor,” and he stood, going over to a com link at the door.  
I wanted to move, but my strength wasn't there yet, so I settled on just making loose fists and wiggling my toes. The doctor came and and walked to the side of my bed, poking at the spot above my still closed eye, “She should be able to open it in the next few days. Now, let's see about getting that tube out,” Kylo picked up my hand again and held it firm. The doctor began to remove the tape holding the tube in and I whimpered slightly as the tape pulled my skin. Kylo just squeezed my hand more. When the tape was free, the doctor placed his hand on my forehead and carefully removed the tube. I could feel every bit of it, sliding up and out until it was free, moaning again as it slipped past a particular spot at the back if my throat. The doctor pulled out a small light, opened my mouth and peered in, “I don't want you speaking for a while. There is a lot of scar tissue that need to heal.” I gave a slow nod, “Just give it some time, and you'll be back to normal,” he patted my shoulder then turned to Kylo, “I'm going to send a nurse bot in. They will bathe her...”  
Kylo cut him off, “No they will not,” he commanded, “Just bring me the supplies. I will do it myself,”  
“But, Sir?”  
“No. I don't want anyone else touching her. Bring me the necessary supplies,” he demanded.   
“As you wish,” and he left.  
Kylo then stood and took off his over shirt, revealing his normal black tank top underneath. Slowly he peeled back my covers, showing the simple medical gown. The doctor came in with a few things in his hands, “The bandages will need to be changed. If you need help or anything else, please call,” and he left.  
Kylo turned back to me and began to lift my gown. Carefully, he pulled the cloth up, and gently, turned me from side to side to remove the clothing completely. I hissed in pain as it traveled up my back, still sensitive from the beatings I had endured. He fretfully apologize and went slower, until I was completely naked. He sighed and looked at my body up and down. I started to feel shame as I remembered what happened on the ship. More scars were going to form, and I turned my head to hide my tears. Kylo touched my cheek to look at him, “You are no less beautiful to me,” his voice, a little more than a whisper, as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.  
He dipped a washcloth into a the small vat of warm water and began to rub the cloth gently on the bottom of my foot, carefully taking the bandages off from them before washing away the dried blood. I turned away again. I couldn’t look at him washing me, helplessly laying here. I was stronger than that. I could wash my own damn self! A hand cupped my face again he turned it to face him again, looking into my eyes, “Don’t be ashamed. I promised to take care of you. Let me take care of you.” I sighed and nodded.  
Replacing the old cloth with new ones around my ankle, his gentle hands rubbed my legs and paused for a moment at the apex of my thighs. His eyes met mine and continued. He brought the cloth down between my legs but only to wash, not for pleasure. Kylo rinse the cloth in the water and began up my torso, pausing at a spot on my side. It was where Deni had stabbed me. I saw his face scrunch in anger for a second before removing the bandage. The tape holding it pulled at the wound and I hissed again in pain. He swiped away the clotted blood and gently touched the wound, “It doesn’t look as bad as it did before,” Kylo commented before dressing the injury again. Bringing the cloth back, he draped it across my breasts, wiping away dirt that had been collected there. He paused again at my neck, “Do you want me to take it off?” he tapped at his collar. I thought for a moment about that. I had been shackled and used, tied and abused, again, and that collar should have revolted me. But it was a gift from Kylo and the only thing I had on through my ordeal. Shaking my head, he smiled, “I’m going to turn you on your side so I can get the back. It might hurt,” and he gently pushed me to my side. He sighed again while looking at my back, “They will pay,” I heard him mutter under his breath.  
Removing the bandages didn’t hurt as much as my side did. But there were a lot of them. It took Kylo awhile to remove then, but when they were all gone, he carefully ran the cloth up and down, dislodging the blood that had dried. Then I felt a slimy substance being applied with fresh bandages covering them. I stayed like this for a while but then gasped as I felt the wash cloth touch the top of my rear, “I have to clean here. Don’t worry about anything,” and he pushed it down my crack and graze against the hole. He made a sawing motion and I felt a familiar heat starting to build deep inside. I never knew that place there would be feel good touched and he stopped when I let out a moan, “Maybe,” I heard him whisper. He patted my rear and pulled the cloth away, before washing it and continuing with my arms. I hissed when he ran the cloth over spots where the whip had contacted and Kylo muttered another apology before changing the bandages on my wrists. Finishing, “I’m not going to put the gown back on until you can move more. I will make sure that the blankets will cover you completely,” and pulled them up to my chin.  
The whole ordeal made me sleepy again so I closed my eyes.  
I awoke again but this time to the smell of food and something pulling something from my hand. Peeking an eye open, it was the doctor pulling the needle from it then turning to Kylo, “She should be able to eat. Nothing solid yet, just soup and water,” and he left again. The bed started to move up and I opened my eye further as he propped me up. After the bed stopped, he reached over, grabbed the bowl and spoon before sitting at the edge, “Open,” he said an placed the spoon filled soup into my mouth. I closed my lips around it and he withdrew the utensil. It tasted heavenly. Warm with hints of poultry and herbs. Just then, the door opened and Hux walked in. Kylo didn’t make any move to acknowledge him and continued to spoon feed me.  
“I’m glad to see our Captain is getting better,” he commented.  
“Septa,” Kylo corrected him, “Her name is Septa,” and he fed me another spoonful of soup.  
Hux took the seat next to my bed, “Yes, I know her name. But she still is Captain.”   
“Not if I have a say in it,” What did that mean? “After she is fully healed, she won’t be Captain or flying anymore,” he brought the spoon up to my mouth but I held it shut and looked into his eyes, “Open,” he tried to command but I couldn’t. No more flying? I loved to fly. He can’t just take that away from me, “I can’t have you away from me,” I turned my head away and a tear went down my cheek.  
“It looked like she isn’t finished being Captain or flying,” Hux remarked, smiling from the chair.  
He looked at me, “We will talk about this later,” he set the bowl aside, “And what is it that you want, General?”  
“Nothing really. I just figured that you may wanted to take a break.”  
“I will not leave until Septa can walk out of here,”  
“Ren, you need to get out. Stretch your legs for a while.” he waved his hand toward the door, “Go to sleep in a bed for once.”  
Kylo reiterated, “I will leave when she can.”  
“And if you can’t walk when that happens? You are going to exhaust yourself to death. She’ll be safe. There will always be one of us with her,”  
Kylo clenched his fists, “Just like she was safe when you decided to go on a weekend getaway,” the anger was rising in his voice.  
Hux leaned forward, “That was not my fault. How was I supposed to know that she had a stalker?”  
Kylo’s voiced raised even further, “I told you that she was to be returned safe. But no, she was kidnapped! While under your very nose,” he was yelling now. I cringed at the increase of volume and at the sound of the chair scraping backwards as Hux stood.  
Kylo did the same, “Like I said, how was I supposed to know? It’s not my fault!”  
They began to bicker back and forth, voices raised and vibrating around the room. Squeezing my eyes shut from the pain, I wished that I could tell them to stop. With my throat in the situation as it was and how weak I was, I could only cry. Tears ran down my face again. It wasn’t until the door opened and an angry Rey stormed in, breaking up the now shoving match,“Why are you two yelling?” She looked at my scrunched face and tears, “Stop. Both of you,” She rushed over to me. The room grew quiet and the two men looked at her, “She needs to rest and you two are getting her upset by yelling at each other,”  
Kylo and Hux looked down and me and I looked away, not wanting to be seen. Kylo sat back down and grabbed my hand, “I’m so sorry.” he looked at me.   
“Okay. Hux, out,” Rey ordered, “Kylo, go take a walk, relax, get some sleep or something,” he tried to protest, “You need to take care of yourself. You need sleep and something other than medical food. I will sit here. For her sake, leave.” and she pointed to the door.  
I could tell he was thinking. Wanting him to go, I squeezed his hand. When he looked up, I smiled and nodded, eyes still red from crying, “You’ll be okay?” I nodded again. He looked up at Rey, “If there is any change..”  
“I will contact you first. Go,” Kylo leaned down and touched his lips to mine in a gently kiss before getting his shirt and leaving. I watched the door for a bit, already missing his company.  
“I have a feeling that their argument would have ended in a fist fight,” Rey said, sitting down in the chair Hux vacated. I looked over at her and nodded, my eyes growing heave again, “You should sleep more. I’ll wake you when he gets back,” I smiled and fell back to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

It was a few days later when I could open both eyes and sit up on my own. Kylo had put a fresh gown on me after bathing and changing my bandages. He had been taking time away from the medical ward to take a nap in his room or to get real food. Rey and Hux had taken turns keeping me company when Kylo couldn’t be there, Hux would talk about the logistic of ships and military things, Rey would talk about their upcoming wedding and where she used to live. I still wasn’t allowed to talk but I was able to use a data pad with no problems. But to tell you the truth, I was bored and a little bit tired of having, what I felt, was a babysitter. I tried to act interested in what the two were saying but, a lot of it was just them drabbling on. It was when Kylo was in the room, and held my hand, that we didn’t talk much. I liked our silence together. Every once in a while, I would type out a question on the pad, show it to him, and he would give me the answer. When the food came, Kylo would take the tray and insist that he fed me, even though I was now capable of doing so.  
One afternoon, I was flicking through the pad and Kylo had just come out of the refresher when I asked the question he had been trying to avoid, ‘Why won't you let me fly or do my job again?’ And showed it to him.  
After reading, he just went back to his pad, “It's not safe for you anymore,”  
Squinting my eyes at him, ‘That's not a good answer.’  
He looked at me, “It doesn't matter. That is my answer.”  
I huffed, ‘Are you afraid that I might get taken again?’  
It took him a minute before answering, “Yes,” he replied, quietly.  
‘But they are locked up. I won't get kidnapped again,’  
“It's too risky. I would feel much better if you were always with me,”  
‘What about how I feel?’ he looked at me, puzzled, ‘I can't just stay with you wherever you go. I want to fly. I'm not a piece of glass that will break if you touch me,’  
He fully turned to me and I could see his irritation in his face, “If I can find a way, I would put you,” he pointed at me, “On a pedestal in my room,” he pointed to himself and his voice got louder, “And only I would be able to look at you. End of discussion” he turned back to his pad. Anger started to rise in me, and I typed away furiously, then I threw it in his lap while crossing my arms and glaring at him, “Hey!” he exclaimed.  
I didn't care how mad he was. It wasn't fair. Even though I voluntarily relinquished everything, I hated not having a say. Displeasure evident across his face, we stared at each other for a minute until I glanced my eyes down to the pad, then to him, indicating that he needed to read it.  
Kylo picked it up, ‘So I would trade one prison for another? It would just be like being on that ship again. Not seeing anyone until you came back. That’s no way to live. I’m not going far away from you ever again. I don’t want to be caged again.’  
He placed the pad back down, and ran his hand across his face. Looking up, Kylo picked my hand up, squeezed it, then placed a kiss on my knuckles, “I would never do that to you,” and his facial features softened, “You're right. As much as I hate to admit it, you are right. It’s just,” he looked away for a moment, “When you went missing, I didn’t know what to do. I was lost,” he looked back into my eyes, “I felt hollow. I don’t think I could stand having that feeling again. I need you. If you were gone, I would have died,” he raised up and kissed me, and we sat like that for a while. He did truly care for me, I thought. I knew, right then and there, that I loved him.  
After a while, he sat back and touched my cheek, “How do you feel?” and Kylo reached over to give me back my pad.  
‘Better. I want to be able to walk soon. Being bed ridden sucks,’ I wanted to walk again.  
“You will soon. You need to heal more,” he patted my hand and sat back in his seat.  
Speaking of healing, ‘What exactly happened to me?’ I knew what happened, I didn’t know the extent.  
Kylo swallowed, and grabbed my hand, “Are you sure you want to know?” I nodded, “When I... found you, your arms were completely stretched out, and you were shackled to the floor,” I knew that part, “There was a deep wound in your side that was bleeding, and you had a cracked rib. Half of your face was bruised and the swelling covered your eye” I could hear the shaking in his voice, “The thing in your mouth, that scum had his fluids dripping out of your mouth.” his anger evident in his voice, “There were cuts at the back of your throat from where they,” he couldn't finish, and I squeezed his hand, “You were in that stretched out position for so long that you were starting to lose nerve endings by them dying off. The wounds on your back were festering with infection. You were beginning to bleed out in my arms as I got you here. I don’t think you would have survived much longer if I hadn't found you,” He had tears in his eyes at this and so did I.   
A few days later, I woke and saw that Kylo had fallen asleep in the other bed. The pale, cream blankets in stark contrast to his hair and black uniform. I watching him for a while as he slept. All the worry lines and sorrowful expression on his face were completely gone. In peaceful slumber, he was relaxed. With his mouth slightly open and on his back, he made small snoring sounds. I smiled before thinking about what to do next. In the past few days, I had been lifting and lowering my legs, getting feeling back and trying to strengthen my muscles. One of the nurse bots had been helping me with my recovery when Kylo had disappeared for a while. I didn’t want him knowing that someone or something else had been aiding in my recovery. He would have had a fit.  
Carefully, I pulled back my covers and slowly sat up. It was painful but not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I did struggle with pulling my legs out and I letting them dangle over the edge for a few. It felt good to actually be in a sitting position, under my own power, for once. The floor was only a foot away, but it looked a lot farther away. Taking a deep breath, I used as much strength that I had in my arms, and lowered my feet to touch the floor. It was cold, but having my feet actually standing on a floor, and not lust laying down, was great. I was still clutching the bed as I gained my balance, steadying myself as I rocked a little on the balls of my feet. It felt like I was learning how to walk all over again. My intention was to walk the few steps to his bed and crawl in, cuddle close to his body. His cot was much lower to the ground so I knew that I wouldn't have to do much climbing. But that was before my bladder made itself known. I looked around and saw that the refresher was on the other side of the room. Looking at the sleeping Kylo and back to the bathroom, he was much closer but I really had to pee.  
Slowly, I began to stumble toward the bathroom, one foot in front of the other while my hands were helping my balance. That was until I reached the end of the bed. About ten feet away was the door to the bathroom. So taking a deep breath, I took my first step away from the bed, and it was a wobbly one. I was afraid that I would just crumble to the floor but I forced myself to take another step. Cautiously, I stepped forward, biting my lip and keeping my eyes trained on the door. Closer and closer I got, and with each step, I could feel myself getting stronger. I reached for the handle and leaned my whole body against it, breathing kind of heavily for just the short trip. I reminded myself that soon, I’ll be able to do what I was doing before the incident.  
Sitting on the toilet, letting my bladder empty, I smiled at the small victory I had just accomplished. The doctor said it would be about another week before I could even attempt to walk, but I showed him. I made it to the bathroom all by myself.  
I was just finishing up washing my hands, and reaching for the door, when I heard a commotion from behind the door. Listening, I heard movement and things being thrown around before hearing a familiar voice shouting my name. When I opened the door, Kylo whirled around at the noise, and froze for a second, before rushing over, “I thought you were taken,” and he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing tightly, “I had a dream that you were gone forever.” he whispered in my ear. All I could do was pat his back.   
Kylo pulled away a few moments later and gripped my upper arms, “What are you doing out of bed?” his face getting serious. I wanted to tell him that I saw him sleeping and wanted to lay with him, but since I was forbidden to talk, I could only shrug, “Let’s get you back into bed then,” and he made a move to carry my, but I weakly slapped at his hands and shook my head no, “You need to get back into bed,” I did agree, but I didn’t want to be carried. Taking a step forward, I made it known that I was going to walk back. He got the hint and walked backwards, holding both of my hands, and I smiled up at him as he guided me back.   
Just then, the door opened and the doctor walked in, being followed by Rey and Hux for some reason. He stopped and looked at the both of us, “You should not be walking,” he pointed at me then looked at Kylo, “Why did you make her get out of bed?”  
“I didn’t. She decided to do this while I was sleeping,” He snapped, staring at the doctor menacingly.  
The doctor just stood there a moment before shaking his head. Hux and Rey stood off to the side and Kylo guided me toward the bed until I pointed to the chair. Finally collapsing on the seat I took several deep breaths, smiling at what I had accomplished, “Well, this is progressing faster than what was expected.” he scratched his head and came over to me. Taking out a pen light, he instructed me to open my mouth, and he peered inside, “Not a whole lot of scarring tissue left,” stepping away, “Do you think you can say something?”  
Kylo stood to the side and looked at me as well. A flood of sentences and emotions ran through my mind on what I had wanted to say.   
I raised my hand toward Kylo and he took it. There was only one thing that was always at the forefront, and I didn’t care who heard it for once. Looking up into his eyes, “I love you,” came out in a very scratchy voice. My jaw started to shake a little as I waited for what he would say. I saw out of the corner of my eye Rey covering her mouth and everyone looking at Kylo. He just stood there, still holding my hand but not saying anything with no expression on his face. Time seemed to stop completely and my heart began to pound harder and harder as I waited for his response. Tears formed in my eyes as he still hadn't said a thing. That was the most stupidest thing I had ever said, I thought to myself. Why would I have said that? He didn’t love me. No one loved me. I looked away, not wanting to see rejection strewn across his face.   
Rey must have sensed my distress and whispered, “Ren,”  
That must have snapped him out of his thoughts. Brushing the doctor aside he took my other hand and kneeled in front of my, pulling me closer, “I love you too,” he breathed, and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my back, and we held onto each other, exploring each others mouths like it was the first time. I don’t think I will ever get tired of his taste and smell. It was heaven. We eventually pulled away and he rested his forehead against mine, “Always,” he whispered and we closed our eyes, enjoying the bliss those three simple words give to one another.  
The doctor clearing his throat brought us out of our enjoyment, “If I may interject,” Kylo turned his head to look at him, “The Captain is progressing quite well. She still would need to stay for a while and will be assigned some physical therapy to get stronger.”  
“How much longer?” Kylo asked.  
“Depends on how strong she will get. By the rate of her healing, I would say no more than a week.”  
He turned back to me, “Good,”

The next week was filled with walking longer and speaking more. At one point, I had taken to trying to physically lift a chair in the room, over and over again. It didn’t take long and I was fully upright and began to do squats. Kylo was always in the room watching and helping if I needed it. Eventually, I had taken to walking the halls of the medical ward. Pacing the room was going to drive me insane.   
We had talked more after that morning. Both of us admitting that we guarded our hearts from our past, but there was something between us that we dropped that guard. I don’t know exactly what it was about me that he admired, but for me, I was the feeling that someone else cared, cherished, and had patience. I couldn’t remember the last time someone else did that. Ever since I joined that cult, I was on my own and had to survive. So, giving someone else the reigns, was quite relaxing.  
We also started to talk about the force and what it was. Kylo would hold my hand and started to teach me how it feels. He also told me that the force flowed through me with my emotions, that’s why I stopped the blaster bolt like I did with no formal training. Soon, he would start training me on how to handle my newly found power.  
It was the night before I was to be released and the doctor was confident enough that I wouldn’t need to be there anymore, but had wanted to keep me one more night before I was allowed to go. I had asked Kylo many times about his lightsaber, so he left and retrieved it from his rooms. Sitting on the edge of my bed, he began to explain the different parts, the different types of fighting techniques, and the importance of a force user to be able to make their own. Also, about the crystal that powered the weapon and the places where someone would find them.  
He was about to return the weapon back to his room but I stopped him. I convinced him that he didn’t need to and I needed him the last I was here, keeping secret the plans I that saber, after he fell asleep. Kylo would certainly disapprove of the idea and forbid me from even thinking about it.   
I was lying quietly on my bed, trying my best to pretend sleep, my eye open just a sliver as I watched Kylo. He had his eyes closed but hand resting on his stomach. It wasn’t until one hand draped to the bed and his lips part slightly that told me he had fallen into slumber. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of bed, and softly padded to my clothes that Kylo had brought up for me to change into the next morning. Changing, I laid my gown where my clothes were and gathered the saber and Kylos cloak that he had left. After clasping the front, I turned to his sleeping form. I had to smile before pulling the hood up. There was something I had to do so I could finally be free and completely give myself to him. It was something that he wanted, and something I needed.  
The door opened quietly than before. Must be that it was after hours and they were programmed not to be so loud as not to wake the patients. I quietly walked down the hall, Kylos cape dragging a bit behind me and slipped into the open elevator. In the few times I had pretended to sleep, I had heard a conversation between Hux and Kylo, about where the prisoners were being held and where Kylo ordered them to be moved. It was in the lower level of the brig where only one trooper stood guard. Pressing the level on the elevator, it took off downward to the lower depths of the Finalizer.  
Nervousness and doubt began to creep in me as the pod took it’s sweet time to get to my destiny. Being face to face with my captors again was causing a small panic attack inside. Deni had ground it into my head that he was to be feared and obeyed. I remembered the few times I had tried to defy him and shivered at the memory of my punishments. The smell of burning flesh filling my senses again and a bit of sickness crept into my stomach. I was about to face him again. Could I really do this? Could I push past my fear and anguish and finally get rid of the one thing that held me back? Yes. This time, he would be the one behind bars. This time, I would come out the victor.   
The elevator stopped, I stepped into a dark hallway. The only lights were the tubes that ran along the ceiling and they were dim. Polished panels lined the halls and there were no doors to interrupt their reflections. My footsteps were so light that they didn’t echo through the hall. Turning right, I began to walk up to plain blaster door but a trooper stepped out, “Halt!”  
I stopped, “Move trooper.” I demanded,  
“No one is authorized to enter,”  
I sighed and pulled out the saber and ignited it. Seeing him visibly jump, “I don’t want to hurt you. My business is in that room,”  
“I have strict orders from Kylo Ren that no one is to enter,” he held the blaster a bit firmer and toward me.  
I sighed again, “Then go tell him that Septa is here,” and I lowered my hood to prove who I was, “And I do have permission. I don’t want to kill you,” and I brought it up pointing it at his chest, “Please, just step aside. When that door closes, call up to the medical ward and have them wake Kylo. Please,” I could tell that he was musing over what the current situation was. It didn’t take long before he took a step sideways and pushed a few buttons, the door whooshing open to reveal a darker room, “Thank you,” I said, deactivating the weapon and bringing it around to my back.   
After the door closed behind me, I pulled up my hood. I knew I had to make my visit quickly. Once Kylo finds out that I am not in the room, it will take him no time to get to me. As I stepped forward, lights began to flicker on and the cells on either side of me became more visible, the glowing red laser bars becoming more prominent. Groans and complaints came from the rooms as I slowly walked forward, my body concealed by the cloak. It wasn’t until I was about to pass a cell when a familiar voice came from my right, “First we don’t get no real food and now you won’t let us sleep. Fuck off already,” Deni. I smirked and slowly turned to face the laser door, “So what are you here for? You don’t look like a stormtrooper. You here to bust us out of here?” He looked like shit if that was even possible. The time they have been down here with little to no light showed. His skin was paler than normal and I could tell he had lost weight. Having just the basic sustenance to live on really showed. His clothes were filthy and I saw that there was some blood on it. His legs were chained together and attached to the flat metal cot. He wouldn’t be getting away, “Look, I didn’t know that bitch was on the ship. I told you I bought it off of someone,” Fucking lair.  
Reaching out, I pressed the panel to the right. The lasers powered down as I punched in the code I saw the trooper did when he opened the cell block door, and I stayed in the hallway. Deni began to spout orders, kept insisting on his innocence, and demanded he be let free. I reached up to the clasp of the cloak and it fell away. The crew members that had gathered at their door gasped as I stood there, facing my greatest nightmare. “Oh shit,” I heard Deni mutter, “So you lived. Good. Now come here, like a good little girl, and release me.” he smiled. Anger rose in me as he called me that. No one gets to call me that except Kylo.  
I leisurely stepped forward into the cell, one foot in front of the other. My fear started to rise, “Why yes, I did survive. But you will not.”  
He gave a struggled laugh, “What are you going to do? Nothing. Because you are nothing. Just a play toy, my play toy, and nothing more.” he began to sit upright, “Now, be a good girl and take these off,” he pointed at his legs, “Then we can leave and I can finish the job,” he smiled.  
“Now why would I want to do that?” I said in a low voice, my hands gripping the saber behind my back as I stopped a few few in front of him.  
He barked out in laughter, “Because I told you so,” I heard the cell block door open and nothing else. Kylo must have ordered it so there wouldn’t be any obstruction between me and him.  
Steadying my breath, “And what makes you think you have any authority over me?”  
I saw anger flash across his face, “I have the only authority. You belong to me and only me, and after we leave, I’ll make sure that you will never have an independent thought, or movement, Thirteen,” he sneered. I tilted my head at that name, “Now, Take. These. Off!” he said louder and I now could hear footsteps running in the distance.  
Lifting my head to look down at him, “You want me to take them off?”  
“Yes, you stupid bitch!”  
The steppes were getting louder with every second, “Okay,” I ignited the saber behind my back and his eyes went wide, “I’ll take them off,” The footsteps screech to a harsh stop at the door behind me before I brought the weapon up and around, slashing his legs off below the knee caps. He screamed and fell to his side, trying to grasp at his legs, “There, they are off,”  
“You fucking cunt!” he screamed.  
“Septa!” Kylo shouted behind me but I was too engrossed in the writhing Deni in front of me.  
His screams died off into laughter, “Septa. Your name is thirteen.” He spit out a bit of blood, “At least that is what you remember. We did a good job making you forget,”  
“Septa,” Kylo cautiously stepped further into the room, but there was something that was beginning to stir in my brain.  
“Septa?” I questioned, looking over my shoulder, more to myself than anything else, “No, not Septa,”  
“You are not thirteen,” Kylo demanded behind me.  
“Not thirteen. Not Septa either. I remember.” the blade was still crackling in my hand as I looked into Deni’s eyes, “My name was Sapphire. Sapphire Kardell.”  
Deni laughed, still struggling to sit up, “The bitch knows her name. Aren’t you special?”   
I felt Kylo’s hand on my shoulder as he stepped up to my back. “Everything is okay now. Give me the lightsaber and let's go back,” he whispered in my ear.  
Shaking my head, “I can’t. I have to finish this. That is the only way I can finally be free and I can give you my everything,” I felt him squeeze a bit.  
“Oh, so you think you found a new Master? Ha! You know that every time you suck his cock, you’ll be thinking about me. You’re dirt and such a stupid cunt...” he was cut off when I thrust the saber forward and buried it in his forehead. Deni's eyes rolled backwards as his mouth fell open. The only sound was his body hitting the floor and the crackle of the sword. Free. I was finally free. No longer would I hear his voice.  
Turning around, I deactivated the weapon and held it out, “It’s done,” He looked at the weapon and back at me before taking it and securing it to his belt, “No more nightmares or fears.” He stepped out, retrieved his cloak, and brought it around my shoulders, securing the latch.   
Kylo reached out and tilted my head upwards, looking into my eyes, “It’s over,” and he leaned down, capturing me lips. I melted into his touch and felt his hand snake up my back and into my hair. Gripping the strands in his fist, he pulled back, my hands grasping his chest, “What do we do with the rest of them, my pet?” he whispered.  
Breathing heavily, not knowing if it was from the effort of coming down here or what I was feeling toward him, “Cut their dicks off and toss them into the slave trade,” Shouts of protest began to rise up around us, but they were ignored.  
He brought his other hand and placed it on my neck, putting slight pressure there, “Your wish is my command,” and he kissed me again. I moaned in his mouth at the contact and restraint, and I wanted more, “Let’s go.” It was more of a command than a suggestion. Kylo pulled up the hood and stepped away. Immediately I fell into step behind him, my body tingling.  
He stopped for a moment, relating the command to the awaiting trooper before marching off again. It wasn’t until we got into the elevator and the door shut before he turned to me, “Do you want this?”  
I looked up, “What do you mean?”  
“Do you remember what I said about what I wanted at the beginning of our relationship?” I nodded, “Given everything that you have gone through, and just went through, do you still want this?” and he pointed at the leash still wrapped around his wrist, “I don’t want to hurt you, see you hurt more than you already have been,” he reached out and gently grasped my arms, “I will give all of that up, just to see you happy and safe,”  
Looking down at the ground, I thought about what he said. He told me at the beginning, what he wanted in a relationship, what was expected. Was I comfortable with giving up everything and handing over myself to him? Kylo has never given me a reason to doubt what he felt, and had never put me in harms way. But, I knew that we had to talk about somethings. Biting my lip, I looked back up at him, and sank to my knees, my eyes never leaving his, “There are a few things I want to talk about first, but yes. I want to give myself to you.” I was shaking under the cloak but not from being cold. It was from the excitement of what the future might hold for us.  
Kylo stood still, looking directly at me. I could tell he was thinking and I hated that he took forever doing it. The longer the silence, the longer doubt begins to creep in, and looked at the floor, hands wringing in my lap. That ended when he squatted down and tilted my head toward his, ”I love you,” and he kissed me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and he did around my back. The elevator came to a halt and he released me as he stood.  
“Uhm, do you mind helping me up? I can't do that yet,” He just smiled and stooped down again, picking me up from under my armpits. Kylo then, helped me walk down the hall of the medical ward as I got feelings back into my legs.  
We reached my room, and he helped me on to the bed before reaching down and taking off my shoes. Standing back up, “Am I going to have to you tie you to the bed tonight?”   
I flushed a little and ducked my head down a bit, “No, Sir, not tonight anyways,” and smiled.  
He did the same, “Good girl,” he patted my head, “Now get some sleep. You get to come home tomorrow morning,”  
I layed down and he pulled the covers up, and kissed me again as I yawned, “Good night, Kylo,”  
He cupped my cheek and my eyes began to get heavy, “Good night, Sapphire,” and turned away. I fell asleep, a smile on my face and the happiness I felt, hearing my real name again, coming from someone who loved me.


	14. Chapter 14

My hand was resting on the crook of Kylos arm as we walked toward his rooms. I was excited to finally be out of the medical ward and free to move around but the doctor told me that I couldn’t get back to my normal workout schedule just yet and had to take things slow. That would be the most excruciating part of my recovery.  
He waited till the doors closed behind us to spin around, bend at the waist, and fling me over his shoulder, “What are you doing!” I squealed out, laughing.  
“I’m trying to find a place to put my prisoner,” and he strode to the door of his bedroom.  
“Prisoner?!” I began to squirm, “Put me down,” I was still laughing.  
He gave me a sharp swap to my back side as he entered his bedroom, “You need to settle down, little girl. I think I found where I will keep you,” and he threw me onto the bed. I bounced a few times before Kylo grabbed my ankle, and slid me to the bottom of the bed, “I think this is exactly where I am going to keep you,” he lifted my ankle higher and pulled up the pants bottom, his hand circling around the bone, “With a leather cuff around your ankle and a chain tied here and attached to the side of my bed.”  
I bit my bottom lip at the thought and a heat began to build inside, “Well, if you think you are capable of doing such a thing, where is your chain?” I could see his eyes dilate at my defiance.  
“I will get one made. Just for you. Now since I have decided to keep you here, you are going to have to strip. No pet of mine will be allowed to be clothed on the bed,” he dropped my foot.  
I scooted further up on the bed, “And if I don’t?”  
He crossed his arms, and straightened, “If I have to do it for you, you will not like the punishment,”  
Sighing, I began to slowly take off my shirt. He didn’t give a time limit, so I was going to draw it out as long as I could. I had the feeling that he didn’t want to get too rough before we talked, and that was a relief. Kicking off my shoes, I on purposely flung them in his direction, one barely hitting his thigh. He took his eyes off of mine and looked down at the offending object. Stopping all movement when that happened, I didn’t mean to hit him with it. Shivers ran down my spine as he had his head still tilted downward, but his eyes looked back up to me, giving me a most menacing look, “I’m sorry,” I whispered and quickly removed the rest of my clothes, not knowing what he was going to do to me.  
Kylo placed one hand on the bed, then the other, an angry look on his face, and I began to scoot further up. He crawled his way to me, grabbing my ankle to stop my movement, and continued his trek the rest of the way up my body until his clothed body covered mine. Pressing his whole weight against me, Kylo rested his elbows on either side of my head and he was inches away from my face, “Before I punish you for throwing something at me,” I opened my mouth to try to speak and the hand that was petting the top of my head came down and covered it, “You don't get to speak right now,” I nodded, “So, before I punish you, there are a few things we need to talk about, don't we?” I nodded again, eyes still wide and unable to move my body. Even though I was scared, I felt that what I was getting myself into was right. He removed his hand, “I feel that you have some reservations about our relationship and what some of it entails. Now is your time to voice them. We need to come to an understanding about both of our roles.” He kissed my forehead.  
Biting my lip, I looked away for a second to gather my thoughts, “I want to give my whole self to you. But it frightens me. I don't want to feel like I have no say in anything. Most decisions I feel that I am okay with. I don't want to be a mindless slave.” I felt myself blushing a bit.  
Kylo smiled, “You may not realize it but are always in control. You, being such a submissive, there is nothing that we do that you didn't make a decision about. But don't worry. We are together. We both have equal say in this relationship.”  
Smiling, “I'm also afraid that I don't know much about the lifestyle you like. I don't want to screw it up,”  
Kylo leaned down and kissed my lips gently, “Everything will be learned in time. It will be my honor to teach you everything that I want and need. And you need to teach me what you want and need. Do you know what a safe word is?” I shook my head, “It's a word that you would not even say in normal conversations or intimates, that would tell me that something is going to far for you to handle. I've always been partial to a color system. Green, yellow, and red. We both know what green is. Just say yellow if it's something that you are unsure about and red if it's a definite no. Then we will talk about it and see where we need to make adjustments. The only time that does not come into play is when a I am punishing you. There will always be a reason for that. Do you agree? Remember, if you feel that you no longer want to be in this type of relationship, we can stop and just be together. Normally.”  
Biting my lip, I let go all of the fear and doubt that I had been holding back, “I think I can handle all of that. I just have a couple of, demands?” He nodded and petted the top of my head, “Please don't do anything that will cause blood. Also, as much as I don't mind calling you whatever you want me to, I don't feel comfortable being called anything derogatory. I've been called whore, bitch, slut, and cunt. I'm your and only yours.”  
His other hand began to stroke the side of my neck, “Then those words will never leave mouth and if they do, it will never be directed to you. You are my precious jewel. I would never do anything that would cause you undue stress or heart ache. Anything else?”  
“Just one more. I... I don't want to be called a slave.” I looked away worry tattooed across my face.  
Kylo cupped my chin and turned it toward his face again, “You are so much more than a slave. A slave is an object. You are my equal, my lover, and especially mine,” he kissed me, “Anything else?”  
I thought for a moment about what we had just discussed, “If there is, you will be the first to know,” I smiled, “Then I do want this. Please, teach me,”  
He smiled, “I accept and will teach you,” the hand that had been brushing my neck, fully enveloped it and he squeezed, “First lesson, you don't throw anything at me. So when I get up, you will get off the bed, follow me, then you will place yourself across my knees. Understood?”  
Gulping heavily, “Yes,”   
He immediately wound his hand into my hair and pulled, exposing more of my neck to him, “It is yes, Sir when you answer me,” he said in a whispered voice.  
“Yes, Sir,” I whined. He let go and slid off the bed. I crawled off and followed him over to a desk chair where he had pulled out, and sat, looking at me. Swallowing, I laid across his lap and he positioned me to where my hands were braced on the floor and my rear was pointing up.  
Kylo gripped my hips with his left hand and his right slowly rubbed my behind, “There are times where I will make you count or thank me for every hit. Or that I will use something other than my hand for punishment. Most though will be you in this position. But after, anything that you did to cause you to be in this position, will be forgiven, and we can move on. Sometimes, it will end with you receiving a reward for taking a spanking so well” The heat was coming back as he spoke. I was afraid of what the punishment will feel like but learning this new chapter in my life was exciting, “Are you ready?”  
Swallowing and staring at the metal floor, clutching his pants leg, “Yes, Sir.” A sharp smack to my ass was his response. I hissed at the sudden pain and clenched my fist. Another one joined it and I shut my eyes. Then, he began to reign down blows and I started to cry out with every hit. I could take being hit by various things when I trained, but something about being over Kylos knee, and being spanked like a small child, made tears fall from my eyes.   
His hand felt like it weighed a ton as it continued to assault my rear. I was in full on sobbing mode as he spanked me. There was no sound coming from him but I was shouting and begging for Kylo to stop. I kept repeating on how sorry I was about throwing my shoe at him, and at one point I tried to stop him by bringing my hand around to block his blows, but he only paused for a second before grabbing my wrist and pinning it to my back before spanking me again. I eventually just gave up and laid still as he hit me, tears and snot now coming out of my face, wishing and praying that he would be done. I just knew my ass was now a bright shade of red if not a little bruised. But just as my spanking had begun, it stopped, the only sound was my crying and heavy breathing between sobs, “I'm so sorry!” I kept repeating as he rubbed my rear. He then grabbed my shoulders and started to lift me up and positioned me to where I was straddling his legs and I flung my arms around his neck, crying into it and babbling on and on. Kylo wrapped his arms around my back and squeezed, “Shhhh. It's okay. It's all over now,” he repeated as he rubbed my back over and over again. My crying began to die down, “Everything is alright. I forgive you.” Kylo brought his hand down to cup my bottom and I groaned at the touch. He held tightly around my back and supported me as he stood, and I wrapped my legs around him, clutching tighter he walked. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to stay right where I was, in the arms of the man I loved. Even if it was after a brutal spanking I just received.   
Kylo walked out of the bed room, over to one of the couches, and sat down. I wiped my tears away with my hands as he coaxed me to sit back a bit, “You did well, Sapphire. It's going to be hard on you to sit for the next few days,” he rubbed my ass as he sat back more, “Are you calm now?” I nodded, still sniffling, “Good. Like I said, sometimes you will get a reward. You you like a reward?” I nodded, wiping the last of my tears away, “Then I need you to stand then sit on my lap so that your back is resting on my chest,” he patted my thigh.  
Doing as I was told, I settled on his lap, hissing at the soreness I felt when my rear rub against him, my head resting just to the side of his chin. Kylo guided my legs so that they were dropped on the outside of his and he separated them, causing mine to spread wider, “Hands behind your back my dear and keep them there,” he whispered in my ear. I slid them backwards and I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of complete exposure. One of his hands came up and rubbed my chest and neck, while the other played with my breast, kneeling them before slightly pinching the nipples. I gasped and arched into his touch, enjoying the sparks that I felt as he pinched and rolled them between his fingers harder. His right hand began to travel more south and his left came up and gently wrapped his fingers around my throat. His hand was slowly going further and further down until it stopped just above where the hood of my clit was, “Are you going to be a good girl and moan for Daddy?”  
I moaned just as he asked and replied, “Yes Daddy.”  
He finally slid one finger down, the skin dragging down and rubbing my clit, “Such a good girl. You're a good girl, right?”  
I moaned at the sound of his voice and of the way he was ghosting over my most sensitive areas. It was getting me more heated when he would call me a little girl, “Yes, Sir. I'm your good girl. Please,” I began to attempt to hump his finger.  
He dipped a finger lower, his other hand pinching my nipple more, “You are so wet down there. It’s almost like you liked getting a spanking. Do you?” he rubbed his finger against the nub.  
Tilting my head back I moaned, “I love it, Sir,” He leaned down more and sucked on the top of my right ear. Tingles ran down that side as he dipped his finger down more and slowly inserted the digit inside me. The pads on his finger roughly scraped against my walls and I clenched down in pleasure. His thumb came up and began to rub me as he pulled his finger out and plunged it back in. I started to wriggle around more on his lap and my hands felt a hardness there. I flexed out my hands and grasped the cloth covered form. Then I heard a groan in my right ear. Squeezing a but, he thrust his hips upwards as his hand picked up the pace. The action of his thumb was getting faster and faster and I knew it wouldn't be too long before I came. I could only grasped his crotch as I felt the wave come and he whispered into my ear, “I want you to cum all over my fingers,” and I did. The wave crashed and I screamed out, waves of pleasure washing over me. I shook and my toes curled as I rode it out, more wetness flooding out, over his hand, and he slowed as I came back down.  
He pulled away and held up his hand, a creamy substance coating his fingers and he rubbed them together, “I can't wait till I am able to plunge my cock deep into your cunt, pet,” he brought his hand around me and I could hear him sucking on his own fingers, his cock pulsing in my hands, “So tasty,” and he thrust upwards.  
It took me a moment before I could form sentences again, “Is... is there anything... you need me to do for you, Sir?” I shivered a little as the coolness of the room seeped into me.  
Kylo wrapped his arms around me and squeezed a little before talking into my ear, “I don't want you to be reminded of what happened, but I would like nothing more than to have your lips wrapped around my cock right now,” he moaned as I squeezed my hands again.  
“I am here with you. Nothing will remind me of those days again. I love you, Sir,” and I started lift myself off his lap and stood straight up.   
I felt his hand on my ass and traced something on it, “There are a few places that are bruising, but it looks lovely on you.”  
Turning around, I smiled, looking down at the bulge in his pants. Putting my hands on his knees, I started to lower my self before I remembered something, “Can you get something for my knees? They aren't fully healed yet, please.”  
His eyes darkened a bit before he stuck out a hand a pillow flew from the bedroom into his palm. I stuck my hand out to take it but he gently placed it on the ground for me, “I'm going to get a special pillow, just for you,” I smiled as I sank to my knees between his legs. Bringing my hands up and palming him through his clothes, he gave out a small moan before I pulled the zipper down and reaching in. My hand touched something soft and velvety that was also hard as steel. I pulled him out and my eyes went wide looking at it. It was long and thick. Wrapping both of my hands around it, stacked on each other, the head still poked through the top. My fingers couldn’t touch themselves as I gently twisted both of my hands up and down, and he relaxed further into the couch. I saw a drop of precum form at the tip and I leaned forward and lapped it with my tongue. It was a bit salty but not at all hateful. Nothing about him was hateful. The urgency of pleasing him ran through my head and his hands came down, grasping my shoulder. After flicking my tongue across the head a few time, I opened my mouth and wrapped my lips around it, creating a bit of suction on my mouth, “Fuck,” I heard him breath out as I started to bob my head up and down, my tongue putting pressure to the underside of his dick. I took it out of my mouth, my hand moving up and down, the saliva creating ample amount of lube. My other hand caressed his sack and another moan escaped his mouth. I looked at it again and calculated the size. It was large. Larger than what I was forced to suck but I wanted to try, wanting to give Kylo all the pleasure I could give him. I licked my lips before shifting to a better position.   
Grasping his member, I went back down. Going as far as the back of my throat, I looked up and Kylo’s eyes were fixed on mine. Taking a deep breath, I began to swallow, the head of his cock going past the back of my throat and continuing its path. His eyes went wide and he grabbed to to my hands as I fully seated myself at the base, my face resting in the soft curls, “Oh shit,” he whispered. If I could smile I would. Pulling backwards, I let his cock slip out and continued to move my hand up and down, all the while catching my breath.  
“I had doubts that I would be able to do that with your size,” and I went back down to do it again but he placed his hand on my head, stopping me.  
He was panting, “You... don't have to do this. It feel wonderful but...”  
I cut him off, “You are not what I was subjected to. I want to. I want please you and need everything you have to offer.” Quickly leaning forward, I again swallowed his length, taking pleasure in the feel of it in my throat and making the most powerful man in the galaxy whimper.   
Taking it slow, I moved, the whole thing moving almost completely out of my mouth then back down again, my eyes never leaving him, “I'm not going to last long if you doing that, baby,” he started to thread his fingers in my hair. I picked up the pace and cupped his balls, my fingers rubbing against the skin. Truly, it didn't take long. It took a moan from me when I felt him stiffen. Quickly, I took a deep breath and took the entire length in, my lips sitting at the base as his cock throbbed in my mouth, the warmth of his seed going down my esophagus. I had to breath, but waited until his shaft stopped pulsating, and let it slip out of my mouth as I gasped for breath. I looked up and Kylo had his hands covering his face, also gasping g for breath.  
“Did I please you, Sir?” I smiled and began to tuck him back into his pants and zipped him up.  
“No one... has been... able to take me whole,” he said between pants. Rubbing his face and looking down at me, “That was wonderful,” and he cupped my cheek.   
“It's my pleasure to please you. Now, could you please help me up? I think I may have lost feeling in my legs,”  
He laughed for a second before hooking his arms under mine and standing, holding me up as I shook my legs, trying to get feelings back.  
As we stood there, I leaned my head on his chest and closed my eyes. Then a picture flashed into my mind. It was the box I bought before everything happened, “I have a gift for you. I bought it when we were on Corrasaunt,”  
He pulled me back a bit, “You being here is the greatest gift you could ever give me,”   
I blushed a bit, “Where are the things from my room?” I asked, stepping away.  
Kylo took my hand and guided me back into the bedroom, he went over to another door, opened it, and my things were neatly piled there, “You can put some clothes on if you wish” he said behind me as I started to go through my things.  
I looked back over my shoulder, “What would you prefer?”  
He smiled as he leaned against the door frame, “I would prefer you to never wear clothes while we are alone. I want to be able to look at your body anytime I please. You are too beautiful to be covered,” I smiled as I continued my journey. Finally pulling out the box, I walked out of the closet and grabbed his hand, leading him back to the bed. He sat first and I situated myself next to him.  
“The colors reminded me of you,” and I handed him the box.  
Smiling, Kylo gently took the container from me and slowly opened the lid. His eyes went wide as he peered inside. Quickly closing it, he looked at me, “I know that you are not from this galaxy, but do you know of any of the traditions?”  
I looked at him with a bit of a fright, “What's wrong?”   
“While I appreciate the gift, I don't think we are quite ready for this step, yet” he placed the box to the side and held my hands, “What do you know about it?”  
“The old lady told me that t was something that a Master gives their most prized servant,” I was starting to wonder if giving him this was a not so great idea.  
Kylo sighed, “While that part is true, there is more. The set symbolizes a certain commitment between two people,” I look at him quizzically and he continued, “It's a symbol of marriage. A couple gives one another a symbol of being officially one. Just like when Hux and Rey are married, they will give each other a symbol of their unity. I don't think we are at that point in our relationship.”  
“I'm sorry,” I said, feeling quite foolish, “I’ll return it,” and reached across him to grab the box but Kylo grasped my wrist, “Don't be so hastey. I'm not rejecting it. We will just keep it somewhere safe.” he let go and stood with the box in his hand and walked over to a set of shelves across from the bed. I watched him carefully place the box on one of the top shelf before turning to me, “I need to get you dressed. There is a wedding in two weeks, and we are a part of those plans so we have to be in a meeting in less than fifteen minutes,” and he disappeared into the closet.  
I stood and followed, “I can dress myself.” There wasn't a strong argument behind that statement.  
“No,” he pulled out some underwear from my bag of clothes and came over. Kylo stooped down and held out the bottoms, “It's my job to make sure you are taken care of and getting dressed is one of those things,” Smiling, I placed my hand on his shoulder and stepped in. After be pulled them up, he held out the bra and I placed my arms through.  
After he thoroughly dressed me, Kylo grabbed my hand and led me back out into the main room and back out into the hallway, and on our way to this meeting, a bit smile on my face as we walked together. All I knew was I was going to have a tough time sitting for an extended period of time.

Two weeks later, I was standing in our rooms on Naboo, the planet that they decided to have their wedding on. It was a beautiful planet. Just outside of our window, I could see a massive river flowing out of the city and into the forest that wasn’t that far away. Everything was so lush and colorful. But I wasn’t seeing any of that at this moment. I was standing naked, facing a corner crying, as my rear felt like it was on fire.   
Kylo left our rooms early and I started to get bored. Figuring that he went off on his own for a while, I would do the same. I had decided to go off on my own to explore and I found a few small training rooms in the building we were at. So I came back, changed and began to work out.   
It had been about thirty minutes and I was walking on one of the treadmills, engrossed in the music in my ears, that I never saw Kylo entering the room. I screeched a little as his hand slammed against the control panel, forcing the machine to stop. He pointed at the door and I knew he was angry. We walked in silence down the hall, Kylo walking behind me all the way back to our rooms, and when we entered, I had wanted to talk but was instead, ordered to strip and he threw me over his knee. I wanted to talk first but he wasn’t having it. So I struggled and fought a bit to get him to stop but it wasn’t working. Eventually I just relaxed and let it happen. Every blow felt like he was hitting harder and harder and there was a pool of tears that started to form under my face. After everything was said and done, Kylo grabbed my upper arm and marched me over to a corner, where he planted my nose in it, telling me in a very angry voice not to move from that spot.  
And I haven’t. My crying had now settled into a few sniffles and I could hear him moving around behind me. I was starting to get angry. He never told me what I did to deserve a spanking and he wouldn’t let speak. My face started to frown more at the thought. Is it always going to be this way? No reasoning or explanations?  
I was still thinking about it when I felt his hands gently touching my shoulders, “The dinner is in two hours. Let’s go get ready,” he breathed on my ear.  
I rounded quickly, still angry, “What was that all about?” I demanded.  
He stepped back a foot, puzzled by my outburst, “What do you mean?”  
“No explanation on why I was being punished and not even letting me talk? Also, just brushing it aside like it was a normalcy. I want to know why?” my hands clenching by my side.  
He crossed his arms, trying to look more menacing, “I don’t need to explain anything,”  
“Yes, you do! I don’t know what I did that was so wrong that you had to...” There was something about the word spanking that I couldn't say.  
“That I had to punish you?”  
“Yes. I mean, are you always going to just do it just to do it? I don’t think that I can handle something like that.” Fresh tears threatened to fall as my anger and confusion grew and grew, “I’ve had enough of just getting beaten for the pure fuck of it!” I was yelling at this point. Crossing my one arm around my chest, I pressed the palm of the other into my eyes, trying not to cry.   
Then I felt his hands on my shoulder again, squeezing and thumbs rubbing, “Look at me,” he softly said. I really didn’t want to show mad I was, but I gritted my teeth and looked up. Kylo removed his hands from my shoulder and placed them on either side of my face, “You weren't here when I got back and I thought the worst. I will admit that I let my anger get away from me,” he brushed away a tear that fell from my eyes with his thumb, “Not knowing where you are is my most greatest fear. Next time, just leave a note or something to let me know where you are. Forgive me?”  
My bottom jaw was trembling a bit before nodding, “Yes,” whispering, “Just please, next time can we talk about it first?”  
“Of course. I will never spank you again without telling you. You do deserve to be told when you are being punished for. Okay now?”  
“Yeah, thank you,” and I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his torso, my face burying into his chest.   
We stood there for a few minutes before he pulled away, “Now, let’s get ready for the dinner tonight, okay?”  
Smiling, I nodded and followed him into the bathroom.

I sat gingerly at the edge of our bed, in only in white underwear and collar around my neck, as I waited for Kylo to get back from the other room. He had already dressed and left me to get the dress he chose for me to wear tonight. When he walked back in, I couldn’t help but smile at how handsome he looked. He was wearing a blood red dress shirt with a black tie and a very well tailored black suit that fit him perfectly. High polished black shoes covered his feet, and as he walked toward me with a black box in his hands, I suddenly felt really small. Kylo stopped in front of me and I looked up, biting my bottom lip at the sight of him, “You look so... innocent,” he remarked looking at me up and down.   
“You and I both know there there is nothing innocent about me,” I looked down.  
“To me you are,” and he leaned down to kiss me, “My innocent, little girl,” Breaking away, he placed the box next to me and opened the top. There was a dark red cloth inside and he pulled it out. It was a knee length, blood red dress and as he folded it out more, I could see shoulder straps. I released the breath I had been keeping, praying that it had at least something covering my top, “Up,” he commanded and as I stood, I reached up as he slid the clothing down. The feel of it was silk like and felt cool to the skin. Kylo walked around, pulling the dress in certain places before zipping up the back. His fingers ghosted around the collar around my neck before it fell away. I caught it before it hit the ground, remembering what happened last time, “Good girl,” he purred in my ear and kissed a spot where the collar was. Shivers went down my spine and I felt something else being placed there, “I never want to see your neck not covered by my collar,” It was lighter than the leather one and softer. It felt exactly like the one that was I wore the last time we went to dinner.  
He sat me back down and grabbed a pair of matching shoes with a modest heel. Kylo dropped to both of his knees and picked up one of my feet. It was a weird feeling seeing him in that position as he placed the shoe on my foot and kissed the inside of my ankle before setting it down and repeating the same with the other. When he was done, he stood, took my hand and we walked out, my hand resting on the inside of his arm.   
We got to the main dining hall and just like before, we were the last ones. Even though it was the dinner before the wedding and the attention was supposed to be with the the celebrated couple, as soon as we entered, the whole room got quiet and all eyes were on us. I wanted to shrink back and go to our rooms, but he patted my hand, and we walked forward, past the whispers and up to one of the front round tables. Kylo pulled out a chair and I sat, hiding the pain from my earlier spanking, before he did the same. Conversation started up again.

 

The dinner must have lasted at least four hours and were once again one of the last few people left in the dining hall. Kylo was rubbing the back of my neck with one hand and was making me very sleepy. I had just closed my eyes for a second when I felt a strong squeeze on my neck. Inhaling sharply, I looked over and he was staring at me with a smirk on his face, “Ready to go?” he asked softly. I nodded.  
As soon as we left, Kylo belt down and scooped my into his arms, carrying me bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his neck, “What are you doing?”  
“My little girl is tired so I am carrying her to tuck her into bed,” he smiled down at me before touching his forehead against mine. I giggled a little and placed my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his body and inhaling his scent.  
I must have fallen asleep because the next time I opened my eyes, slivers of sunlight were peeking through the large curtain covering the window. A thick blanket covered me and I curled more into it, relishing in the softness, and enjoying the post sleep relaxation. A small sore came from somewhere behind me and I decided to roll over. Kylo was there, laying face down but with his head pointed in the other direction, the blanket only covering his lower half giving me a nice view of his muscular upper back. His arms were up and hugging the pillow and I smiled. His black hair splayed on the pillow made me want to run my fingers through the strands.  
As I shifted to be able to see him better, I had noticed that I was naked again and something heavy around my neck. Reaching up, I realized that he had placed the normal collar back on. I reached out and placed my hand on his back. He stopped breathing for a second before resuming. I knew he was awake. Scooting closer, I decided to climb onto his back and press myself against his skin, and smiled as I heard him give out a pleasant groan. Placing a kiss on his shoulder blade, “Morning,” I whispered in his ear as I rubbed his arms up and down.  
He groaned again but twisted his body so that I fell over and in one movement, he slung his arm around me and pulled me on top, my face squished into his chest. Settling in, I felt his hardness poking into my stomach and I snaked my hand down to gently grip the base. Kylo thrusted a bit into my hand while hugging me closer, “Mine,” he growled as he thrusted into my hand, squeezing me closer. He then twisted his body so that he was now settled between my legs, his cock rubbing against my clit. I gasped as he thrusted, rubbing the nub up and down.   
Kylo continued to thrust against me and I could feel my orgasm starting to build. He started to thrust faster and faster, his breathing becoming more ragged. Hands threaded into my hair and he pulled, forcing my head to tilt back, my mouth hanging open gasping in pleasure. My orgasm crashed over me when he sucked onto my ear and I let out a small scream as I shivered from the waves of pleasure. A moment later, Kylo stilled and wetness spread across my lower stomach as I felt his cock pulse a few times and his breathing became staggered.  
Letting go of my hair, he kissed me then rolled off, one arm thrown across his eyes, “Hungry,” he stated, his breathing going back to normal. I laughed a bit, getting off the bed and softly padding over to the data pad.  
“What time do we need to be there again?” I asked while sending a notice for breakfast to be sent up.  
I heard Kylo moving around behind me, “The ceremony starts at 1300. That will go on for about an hour then we come back, change, and head to the dinner slash celebrations at 1600,” He had moved to the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on. Putting the pad down, I walked into the bathroom where Kylo was waiting with a smile.

There wasn’t a whole lot of people that were invited to the actual wedding. I must have counted about fifty attendees or so and we all situated in a circle around Hux and Ray, who were standing in the center, a priest of some sorts walking around them, talking and reciting official documents to declare them officially married. What took the longest was the declaration of the war being officially over. Looking around I noticed that all the women and men were wearing the same outfit that Kylo and I were wearing. The men wore simple grey suits with white undershirts, while the women had all white dressed, long, lace sleeves and lace that ended just below the jaw line. It hid Kylo’s collar well.  
It ended with the priest declaring the couple man and wife and the circle of us clapping and standing. One by one, everyone approached the pair and giving them their congratulations. I've gotten so used to Kylo being the last one to arrive anywhere, so approaching them after everyone else was no surprise, “I guess congratulations are in order,” Kylo said, shaking Hux hand.  
“Thank you, Ren. The war is over and now we can rebuild. You will be at the celebrations tonight?” Hux had Rey's hand in his.  
“Yes we will. See you tonight, Mr and Mrs Hux.” he said with a smirk. Placing a hand on my lower back, he guided me out of the area and back toward our rooms. When we were clear, he took my hand in his, “You look stunning in that dress.”  
I smiled, “Thank you. I'm glad it's finally over. What will happen to the fleets now?”  
“I don't know. There will have to be some sort of governing entity to figure that out. I suppose that the naval forces on both sides will police the galaxy and the ground forces would also have to merge.”  
We arrived to our door and he punched the code in for the door to open, “What will happen to you since they are going to essentially govern the galaxy now?” I walked forward and began to take my hair down, relieved that the main event was over.  
The door closed, “Don’t worry about what will happen to me, my dear. Your concern will be what is going to happen to you.” I paused and slowly turned around. He was leaning against the door with his arms crossed, “Strip,” he ordered with a predatory look in his eyes. At least I didn’t have to question what we will be doing for the next two hours.

 

We had about ten minutes before we had to be at the party but were no where near of being prepared. Kylo had me tied down on my back, with my head hanging over the side of the dining room table, and my legs splayed open. I was moaning and writhing around as his fingers slowly rubbed up and down my slit, his fingers dipping in the bringing them up to rub against my clit. His cock was sliding slowly all the way in till my lips touched the base, cutting off the air, and pulling out till only the head was in. That was the time where I would inhale air and my moans were louder until he pushed in again. The feeling of his cock moving inside of my mouth was a most euphoric feeling. He pulled back and let it leave my mouth and I whined in protest, “Does my good girl want to cum?” he asked grasping my neck with his free hand.  
I had slobber dripping down my face, “Yes, Sir! Please let me cum.” I begged.  
“You can’t until I do,” he rubbed a bit harder, “Do you want me to?”  
“Yes, please yes,” I wanted to cry.  
“Do you want me to cum down your throat?”  
Whimpering with excitement, “Please. Fuck my mouth. I want your cum please,” my voice was starting to crack.  
“Since you begged me so nicely,” he grabbed his cock and guided back into my mouth. I hummed in relief and pleasure as I sucked on his head, “Such a good girl, sucking on my cock. Your mouth feels so good, like it was made just for me,” he plunged forward so I was resting at the base, “My good girl. You love sucking my dick, don’t you?” I made a feeble attempt to nod, “Let’s finish this, shall we?” He then picked up the pace. His cock was sliding in and out of my throat and mouth at a much faster speed but his hand was still going at a slow pace on my clit. It didn’t take long until I felt the familiar pulse from his cock and his seed being spilled down my throat. I was quickly running out of air but if I passed out from choking on his dick, I would do so with a smile on my face.   
He did pull out and I gasped for breath a few times as he stepped away, a line of my spit, attached until it broke free. He too was also trying to catch his breath, “Fuck,” he gasped as he made it away around the table and stopped between my spread legs, “I will never get tired of that. Now, your turn,” My head was still hanging off the end, eyes closed, trying to calm down. But that was short lived when I felt his wide tongue lick a path from my entrance up to the nub at the top. I let out a loan moan as he sucked it into his mouth and inserted a finger. I could feel my orgasm starting to crash over and one final scream, I threw my head back and let the wave of pleasure take over as Kylo sped up the pace with his finger and tongue assaulting my clit.  
As the feeling began to go away, I started to shake from the over stimulation my body was being subjected to. He gave one last flick with his tongue and reached over to untie my legs. My body felt like jelly as Kylo began to rub the places where the rope was, “Good?” he asked with a smirk. I could only give a moan as a reply, “If we had time, I would have you cum again. I could feast on your juices all day,” chuckling as he came around to untie my wrists as help me get into a sitting position on the table, “We need to get ready to go,” he tugged me off the table and steadied me as I got feelings back into my legs.  
“We’re going to be late,” my voice coming out broken as I followed him to the bathroom, staggering along the way.  
“Am I ever on time?” he said over his shoulder. I smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

It had only been about two hours into the celebration, and already people were getting drunk from the alcohol being passed around. Others were on the dance floor while music played as they moved with the beat. The happy couple were in the middle dancing together and smiling at each other. I sat toward the back, nursing my drink Kylo had gotten for me, watching as he spoke with his mother on the other side of the room.   
Fiddling with the wide black belt, that I swore he wanted me to dress like him, I admired that dress he picked out for me. The whole thing was black and a thin line of red lace ran along the top of the sleeveless dress and a matching one along the hem. The hem stopped halfway between my knee and ass and even though it showed off even more of my disfigurements, I was quite comfortable with it. Maybe it was because it pleased Kylo to see me in it, or I had finally come to terms with my flaws. A smile came across my lips as I thought about it and observed everyone talking and having a great time. Never would I have thought that this war would be over and everyone talking again like nothing even happened. I also through back to what Organa said about me being the reason the war had ended.   
I would have never thought my life would turn out this way. Being endocrine into a cult at an early age, taken off the only planet that I knew, and forced into slavery. Joining a naval fleet in another galaxy. Piloting around the most dangerous man I have ever known then ending up being in a relationship with said man. It was also a strange relationship. I would have thought that after going through everything I had been, I would want to stay far away from submitting to someone else's whim. But with Kylo, I felt relaxed. I knew in my mind that he would never let anything bad happen or do anything to me. Having someone else make decisions for me began to grow more and more on me.  
Feeling a little over heated from the energy flowing through the room, I took my drink and headed toward one of the many open french doors living the area and into the coolness of the late afternoon. The sky was lit up in different shades of pinks and purples as the sun set over the mountains. Small dots of stars started to appear as the light slowly disappeared, and I walked up to the railing that overlooked the waterfall that flowed under the buildings.   
Leaning on the rail, swirling the liquid in the glass, just enjoying the many smells the area had to offer, when a voice came out from behind me, bringing me out of my musings “It’s dangerous for a little girl like you to be out here all alone,” I smiled and turned to face the voice.  
“Then I should be grateful that I have such a strong and powerful Master to keep me safe,”  
Kylo stalked out of the shadows, his hands clasped behind his back, “Yes, you do.” He came and stopped at the rail looking out at the horizon. I turned again and faced the same way he was, “Too much inside?” he asked, looking down at me.  
“Little too hot and loud. I needed to get some air and think some more,” I sipped from the glass.  
Kylo turned and leaned against the railing, his hands bracing himself against it, “And may I ask what you were thinking about?”  
“About how my life has turned out so far. Everything that I have been through. Us.” I mumbled.  
There was a pause, “Us?”  
“Yeah. I’ve... I was reflecting back on how our relationship started and everything up till this point,” Looking up at him, he had a softer look, and a slight apprehension behind his expression.  
“Hopefully it has been for the good,” he reached out and took one of my hands in his.  
“All good. That’ why... why I wanted...” I knew I was stumbling over my words, I didn’t know how to say what I had wanted.  
He leaned down a bit, “What is it? Whatever you want or need, tell me and I will make it happen,” He kissed my knuckles.  
“I... want you. I want you to... to..”  
“To what?” he coaxed.   
Taking a deep breath, “I want you to, in your own words mind you, deflower me. I think I’m ready.” I said, looking up. His eyes had a more intense look and even though they were dark in color, I could tell they were dilated.  
There was a long pause until he spoke up again, “You sure?” he pulled me closer and wrapped his other arm around my waist.  
I put my glass on the rail and palmed his cloth covered chest, “I am.” He pulled me closer and leaned down to gently capture my lips. The hand that was on his chest, made its way up and grabbed onto the back of his neck, deepening the embrace. Every time we kissed, I could feel nothing but love in that touch. His lips were always soft and his tongue always so came after to explore and play with mine.  
We broke away and I was panting a bit before laying my head on his chest, “I think it’s time to go,” he whispered in my ear.  
Smiling, “But we are never the first to leave. Didn’t you want to stay till the end?”  
“Sometimes, traditions need to be broken. Let's go back to our rooms.” Kylo turned to leave and tugged my hand. I laughed as he led me back to the doors, his pace quickening a bit.  
He led me through the crowd, only pausing twice. Once to congratulate Hux and Rey on their wedding and the other to his mother, wishing her a good night.  
He kept up his fast pace so I almost had to jog to keep up, “Kylo! I am going to slip if you don’t slow down. These shoes have no grip.” I laughed, my other hand holding up the front of my dress so I wouldn’t trip. He slowed down just a tad but we were still walking at a pretty brisk pace.  
As soon as we got into our room and the door closed, he pulled me back to him, held me close, and kissed me again. Kylo was the first to break away and he began to take off his clothes. I began to do the same but he stopped me, “No. I’ll do that,” Kylo said as he dropped his shirt to the floor, exposing his bare chest. He took my hand again and guided me to the foot of the bed, “Just stand there.” and he kicked off his shoes. My eyes wandered down to where he was taking off his belt. After loosening, he dropped his trousers and kicked them off to the side. He was there, standing in front of me, naked and his hard cock was standing fully erect upright.  
He snaked his hands to the back of my neck, finding the zipper and slowly pulled it down, his fingers trailing behind. It stopped at the top of my rear and the front would have fallen away if it weren't for his body pressed against mine. Kylo brought his hands back around and held the top of my dress in place as he stepped back. He dragged the top down exposing my breasts and leaned forward to capture my harden nipple in his mouth. Sucking on it, I let out a moan and threaded my hands in his hair. “Please, Sir,” I said closing my eyes.  
He stopped and stood up. Kylo placed both hands on my face, my eyes now open, “No. No Sir. No Master, or pet, or little girl. Not tonight. Tonight is just about you. Let me worship you, like the beautiful Goddess you are.” he kissed me again before dropping to his knees all the while looking into my eyes. I bit my lip as he slowly dragged the dress over my hips and letting it fall to the ground. Stepping out of the dress when he began to pull the clothing away, I stood there in only my underwear and shoes as he continued to kneel and caressed my hips while putting open mouth kisses across my stomach, and his hands came around to grab my rear. I hissed as he squeezed as the spanking I had endured yesterday was still sore and red, but it felt great. He hooked a thumb on the elastic waistband and slid them down and off before coming back up and kissing the top of my core. I heard a moan come from him before I felt his tongue poking through to flick the top of the hood that hid my clit as he held my thighs together “Kylo,” I breathed out as I watch him enjoy himself as he buried his face into my crotch. He tightened his grip around me, forcing my legs to stay together, and periodically squeezed my ass, the soreness sending shocks of pleasure to my core. His tongue began to move faster between my tight folds and I knew that I wasn’t going to last much longer. I grabbed his hair and held out as my climax grew closer and closer, “I... I’m going... to cum,” I breathed heavier as be continued his assault on the little nub. A moment later, my orgasm crashed over me and I moaned out his name over and over again as he held on tight and held me up. My hands clutched his hair as wave after wave came through me as he kept me balanced on my feet. If not, I knew I would have fallen backward. He slowed down as I was coming down from the high I was feeling before pulling away, my juices shining on his chin.  
“Sit,” he said and I complied. Kylo rubbed my calves for a moment then picking up one foot, he gently slid off the shoe and kissed all around the top of my foot and my ankle before setting it back down and repeating the motion with the other leg. Kylo then rubbed his hands up my thighs and parted my legs. I was resting on my elbows, watching him kiss his way up my inner thigh and giving my now very sensitive bundle of nerves a long lick. I shuddered, “Scoot back, baby,” he breathed, gently tapping my outer thigh. Still in post orgasmic bliss, I moved until my head hit the pillow and I watched with hooded eyes as he crawled up from the floor to come and lay over my body.  
He captured my lips again and his tongue plunged into my mouth and I moaned at his intrusion and the hint of myself as he explored again.  
Kylo moved his legs and he coaxed my legs apart with his knees and settled between them, his hard manhood resting against my core. I moved my hips a little and the friction of his cock against my labia gave me shivers again, “Are you ready?” he whispered as he looked into my eyes.  
“Yes. Please. I want to feel you inside of me,” and I bucked up. Kylo leaned up and rubbed his thumbs along the spot where my inner thigh met my core before grabbing his cock and rubbed the head up and down my slit, making sure it hit the spot at the top. He looked down as he lined himself at my entrance, and at an agonizingly slow pace, he began to push in. I gasped and grabbed the bed sheets as his member entered. The girth was much wider than his fingers, but it felt wonderful.  
“Fuck,” he moaned as he kept his attention downwards, watching his dick slowly disappear between my folds, “Your cunt is so fucking tight and feels wonderful,” he breathed. I moaned louder as he buried himself to the hilt. I have never felt so full in all my life. The feeling of his cock inside was the most greatest feeling I had ever known and I drew my knees up and let them fall apart as wide as they would go as it pulsed inside and the pleasure of it was getting almost too much. “Are you, ok?” he breathed, still looking down at our joined bodies.  
I moaned louder, “Yes,”  
Kylo placed both hands on the underside of my knees, holding my legs, opening them a bit wider and he pulled his hips back. I moaned louder as I felt it move inside and just before the head emerged, he thrust it back in, a bit faster this time, “Fuck yes,” I groaned as it hit bottom again. He repeated the action several times, just watching his flesh disappear into me, before laying down and kissing me again. He began to thrust faster and faster as I moaned into his mouth, the pleasure building more and more in my core.   
I wasn’t the only one being effected. His moans became louder and at a higher pitch as he thrust. Before long, the sounds of skin slapping together and muffled moans filled the room. Breaking away, I clenched my hands against his back, digging my finger nails in as I screamed out in pleasure. Dragging them down, I knew I left some red marks but I didn’t care  
He was hitting every possible pleasure point inside of me, and with the friction of his pubic bone rubbing against me, I held on tighter and screamed as another orgasm racked through my body. I was seeing stars as I rode it out, clinging onto Kylo for dear life.  
Kylos breathing became more rapid against my neck as I convulsed in pleasure. His moans became more strained. I tilted my head just a bit and suckled on the skin just behind his ear and that is what set his off. Giving off a loud groan, his thrusting stopped and I felt his cock pulsate as he spilled his seed inside. I could feel the liquid filling me up and trickling out as he continued to shake, riding out his own orgasm.  
We stayed locked together in each others arms, his cock still inside. The warmth of his body, the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, and the fullness of his member inside, was the most wonderful feeling I had ever experienced. Eventually, his dick grew soft enough and it slid out and rested against my core, his breathing evened out and our shaking stopped. I felt more of his fluids leaking out and I smiled at the feeling. Kylo got up on his elbows and looked down at me before capturing my lips. “Was that how it’s supposed to feel like?” I asked in a whisper.  
He brought his arm around and smoothed down the hair at the top of my head, “I think so,” he breathed, resting his forehead against mine.  
“Think so?” I asked.  
“Yeah. I’ve been with other women before, but none of them felt, made me feel, like you do. I usually can last much longer but,” he looked into my eyes, “Getting to finally take you as mine was too much for me. I don’t think I have ever had that powerful of an orgasm.” He squeezed me one more time before lifting off and settling for a moment on his knees between my legs. Looking down he smiled, “You look good with my cum dribbling out of you.”  
I laid there with my legs still splayed open as he disappeared into the bathroom. The cool air hit my skin and I shivered, wishing that Kylo would come back. The heat his body radiated was enough to keep me warm. He returned and held a damp washcloth in his hand. Leaning over the bed, he gently wiped my crotch, gathering the mess that was made before it could dry and stick to my skin. “You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant,” he said, wiping the cloth between my folds, “When I first started to train under Snoke, I was sterilized.” I made a sad face but then thought back to one of the scars on my body.  
“It’s OK,” I replied, as he threw the cloth to the side and climbed into bed, pulling me to spoon with him, his arm circling my waist, “I wouldn’t be able to have any if I wanted to. My tubes were tied when I turned 18. The cult I was in didn’t want me to have kids. That would take away from my ability to fight,”  
Kylo pulled me tighter to his chest, “That is horrible,” he murmured into my ear, “To take away a woman's ability to reproduce, should be punishable by death,”  
“There’s nothing that can be done now,” I snuggled down into his biceps, “No need to get upset about something that can not be changed,” my eyelids began to get heavy.   
He extended a hand out and the covers came up. He tucked them around us before waving the hand again, and the room was doused in darkness. Sleep came quickly.

I awoke when I felt Kylo stirring and leave my back. Turning, he was sitting at the edge of the bed, his arms stretched out then up, trying to awaken the muscles. It was then that I saw deep red mars going down his back. I reached up and traced one of the lines, my face scratched when I heard him hiss in pain, “Sorry,” I remarked, “I didn’t mean to claw your back,” He looked behind at me then tried to see his back.  
“I think I can give you a pass this one time for marking me,” he said with a smile and he stood, walking the short distance away to the bathroom, his ass shaking a bit as he stepped. Hearing him relieve himself, I began to unwind myself from the sheets before putting my feet on the ground. Mimicking his stretch, I stood but then immediately doubled over. “Are you OK?” he said returning and rushing to my side.  
“I think so,” as I straightened up, “Just sore.” I made my way to the refresher as he walked over to the table and picked up the data pad.  
“What do you want for breakfast?” I heard him should while I washed my hands.  
“Anything.” I walked out and he was sitting in one of the chairs, naked as he tapped a few things in before sitting it down.  
“Come,” he said holding out his hand. Obeying, I walked over, grabbing his hand as he pulled me between his legs, “Kneel?” he said in a question. I knew he was asking if I was up for it so I did. “Good girl,” he smiled as he patted my head. Reaching back to the table, Kylo picked up my collar and held it out. I smiled as well and tilted my head up, giving him better access as he attached the familiar leather around my neck, “You look so beautiful,” he said with a smile on his face as he cupped my cheek, “What did I ever do to deserve such a gorgeous creature as yourself?” I closed my eyes and laid my head against his left knee, letting the complements soak in and erase more of the bad that had happened in my life.  
He continued to stroke my hair as a beep came from the console next to the door. A moment later, a droid came buzzing in, put the food on the table, and left as quickly as it arrived. I was still basking in the position when he spoke up again, “Hands behind your back, baby,” he patted my head and I complied, sitting up straighter. He held out a piece of egg on a fork and fed it to me. The warmth of the food and the texture made me moan and he held out another piece that I greedily took. We sat in silence as he eat and fed me from his hand. The act of feeding me must have been an arousing sight as I saw his cock began to inflate again. It twitched a few times as I watched it. How that large tool fit so comfortable inside of me I will never know, but what I did know is that I wanted to feel it again.  
Kylo pushed the plate of food away, gave me a few more sips of water, “Stand,” he instructed. Doing so, he guided me to where I was now straddling and he held the base of his cock, “I want you to ride me. Keep your hands where they are. I want to see your tits bouncing,” With a deep breath, I hovered my entrance over him and slowly slid down, his hands resting on my shaking thighs. The pressure he was putting on my insides was mixed with pleasure and pain. The pain was from the night before, having this pounding into me, stretching my walls to it’s limit and the pleasure from having his tool inside me again.  
I finally let out the breath I was holding when I was fully seated on his lap, “Fuck,” I whispered out.  
“OK?” he asked, “Are you in pain?” he tilted my head up so I could look at him.  
“Yeah,” I gasped but before he could respond, “It hurts so good, Sir,” and I moaned as I clenched the walls of my cunt.  
He groaned again and clenches my thighs, and lightly smacked one, “Get moving,” he growled. Lifting up I only made it halfway before I sat back down, the head poking at my cervix. I repeated the motion, moaning and groaning as Kylo just sat there, watching me squirm. His hands came up and grabbed on my nipples before squeezing. Little bolts of pain came from the pressure and they went straight to my core and as I fully seated myself. I bucked my hips, grinding myself onto him, “You like that?” he breathed, flicking his thumb across my hardened nipple. I could only moan and nod my head. “Stand up,” I gave out a disappointing whine as I did but he turned me around so I was straddling him again with my legs on either side of his knees and sat fully as he leaned me against his chest. Kylo’s right hand came up and lightly grasped my neck, his fingers just barely cutting the blood flow while his left came up and played with my nipple again. I ground my hips, his cock moving around inside as he twisted the nub, “You are just dripping wet.” he huffed into my ear, “Look at you, splayed out on my lap, my cock filling you. That is where it belongs. My cock buried deep in my pussy. It’s mine, isn’t it?” he asked, squeezing my throat and cupping my cunt.  
“Yes, Sir. Yours. It belongs to you. I belong to you,” I gasped. Kylos dirty talk and hand around my throat was beginning to be too much.   
“That’s right. You belong to me and only me. Only I can see you as you are. Only my cock will enter you.” he began to rock his hips, “I can’t wait to have you tied, bent over, ready for me to split you open. You want that, don’t you?  
I moaned out louder, “Yes, Sir. Please...” I was begging as he squeezed tighter. My heartbeat was now pounding in my ears.  
“Please what?” he nibbled on my earlobe, his left hand went past the most sensitive clit and down to where his dick was firmly planted, “My goodness, you are stretched out so much over me. I don’t think I could even fit a finger along side my cock,” He began to wiggle a digit beside him member, trying to gain entrance. He was able to get it up to the first knuckle, “Such a good girl. Being to accommodate my size and then some. I think a good girl like you deserve a reward,” he pulled the finger out and dragged it across my clit. I arched my back as much as I could as he had me firmly planted against his chest by my neck.  
He rocked his hips faster as he circled my clit faster and faster. I was crying out, moaning at the amount of pleasure that was coursing through my veins. Then he began to attack the sensitive nub, quickly moving his fingers from side to side, the juices from my cunt making a squelching noise as he moved. It didn’t take much. I felt my orgasm approach like a runaway freight train and all at once, I stiffened and cried out toward the ceiling. I was shaking so much that I feared that I would have fallen off of his lap if it weren't for the hand around my neck.   
He was still moving his hands a furious pace as I began to come down from my high. I began to buck and wiggle trying to get away from the assault on my nub. “You are going to cum one more time before I stop.” he demanded in my ear. I didn’t know how that was going to be possible with his fingering moving like they were. The sensitivity was becoming too much, but I did feel that familiar coil winding inside.  
“Please,” I cried out, “I can’t take it anymore!”  
I tried to close my legs but Kylo spread his apart, keeping mine wide, “Don’t you dare close up on me. If I say you will give me one more, you will give it to me!” He growled. The stimulation of his fingers on my clit, his thick cock sliding in and out of my cunt, and the pressure of his hand around my neck was just enough to send me crashing once more over the edge. I bucked wildly in his lap, a white hot heat behind my eyelids as I screamed out my completion. In one movement, Kylo stood and dropped me face down, bent over the table.  
He began to pump his hips hard and fast into mine. One hand grabbed my entwined hands as he leaned back, “Fuck that looks so good,” he smacked one of my ass checks. The redness of the day before fading into a light pink. His thumb rubbed my anus and I stiffened, “In time, I’ll claim this one,” and he picked up the pace. I was just babbling nonsense as he fucked me over the table. Being made to cum twice and having such seductive words whispered into my ear was enough to make my brain turn to mush, “You ready for my cum?” he asked, watching his cock disappear into my folder, “You want it?” he smacked my ass again, wanting an answer.  
“Please, give me your cum, Master,” were the only words I could muster anymore.  
“Fuck,” he cried out before steadying his hips, his fluids finally flowing into me as his cock pulsed.  
I was still shaking as he pulled out and sat back into the chair breathing heavily. He hadn’t told me I could move so I laid where I was, hands still clutching together, trying to catch my own breath. I could feel his cum sliding down the inside of my thighs. “Such a good girl you are,” he panted, rubbing my rear. I felt him place both hands on either side of my cheeks and pull them apart, watching as his essence oozed out of my hole, “I’m so lucky to have you,” and he ran a finger up my slit, spreading his cum over it and the back of my thighs.  
I groaned as this position was starting to be uncomfortable. Sensing this, Kylo stood and placed both hands on my shoulder, slowly bringing me up to a standing position. He held me as I found my bearings, “You feel wonderful my dear,” he kissed my temple and maneuvered me back around to where I was facing the chair, “Think you can kneel down again?” I just nodded, my brain in a fog and he helped me down then circling to sit in the chair. I was still grabbing my wrists when he brought a cup of water to my lips. Greedily I sucked down all the liquid in the glass, some trickling down around my jaw and down my body to drip on the floor, joining the other juices that leaked out of me.  
“Thank you,” I whispered, taking a large gulp of air before looking up.  
Smiling, he leaned down and kissed me, patting the right side of my face, “I do have something important I want to talk to you about. All I ask is that you let me speak first and not blurt out, interrupting me. Can you do that?”  
“Yes, Sir,” and I settled back on my heels, waiting for what he wanted to say.  
Kylo leaned back and I took a quick glance at his waist where his still large but soft cock was laying off to the side, “With the war finally ended, everyone is going to assigned to new roles and jobs. Some will be eliminated and some created. Pilot's are going to be reassigned and a new training facility will be created after plans to modify ships and weapons are completed. Your job as a pilot is no more,” I snapped my head up but kept my mouth shut just as he ordered. He looked into my eyes, “My shuttle will be piloted by only two people and will be remodeled to accommodate them. Your new job, is going to be my apprentice,” I gave him a quizzical look, “I will begin to teach you how to understand your ability and how to use it. The shuttle will be used by only us and flown by us. It will bring us to different worlds so we can train or, just to be alone. I will never ask you to never fly again. I know how much you love it and it brings me pleasure to see the joy on your face. When we were flying at the tie school, and you emerged from the ship smiling they way that you did, I felt proud that I could make you feel that way. Now, you may speak what is on your mind,” he sat back and smiled at me.  
I stayed kneeling for a while, letting what he just said sink in. When he first mentioned that I was no longer going to be a pilot, I could feel anger starting to build, but I kept my tongue. Hearing out the rest calmed my anger and acceptance came flooding in. He was going to teach me and I still would be able to fly. Looking up into his eyes, I could feel tears prickling the sides of my eyes and excitement flowed through me. Without thinking, I leapt up, jumping onto his lap, and wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my back, “Thank you,” I said, hugging tighter, “Thank you for wanting to teach me,” I leaned back and looked him in the eyes “Thank you for everything that you have done for me. No one has ever been so considerate and kind to me before I met you,” tears flowed from my eyes and I tried to wipe them away with the back of my hand while biting back sobs, “This is everything that I could have ever hoped for and more. Having someone take care of what you need is such a great feeling. Especially knowing that someone loves you as much as you do them.” he brought his hands up to wipe away the tears that my hand was missing, “Yes, I do want you to teach me.”  
“I would do anything that you tell me to do,” he said, bringing me back down to his chest, “You will never want for anything. I would make the entire universe bow to your feel if you ask it of me.” his voice was wavering a bit and I knew that he was going to cry as well, “Your submission to me is the greatest gift you could ever give me and I promise that I will do my best to keep you safe from harm. You are my treasure, Sapphire,” he rubbed my back.  
“It’s fitting, isn’t it?” I laughed a bit, my tears finally stopping.  
“What is?”  
I leaned back up, rested my hand on his chest while wiping away the last on my face, “That my name is Sapphire and you call me your treasure.” he gave me a puzzling look, “Do you know what a sapphire is?” he shook his head, “On my planet, sapphires were a type of gem. It came in different colors but the the one everything knows is blue. Many pieces of jewelry has sapphires on them.”  
He smiled, “It is fitting then. I have a giant sapphire that is with me at all times and that fits around my cock. You are truly a treasure,” and he pulled me closer to capture my lips.


	16. Chapter 16

It’s been a year since the end of the war. Hux and Rey finally had a new government sorted and they celebrated their anniversary by spending it opening a new training facility for the naval forces. It was agreed that the design of the naval ships would be that of the former First Orders and the ground vessels would mimic those of the resistance. New training facilities have been made and surprisingly, an onslaught of people wanting to join, almost crashed the system and some had to be turned away as there were no more rooms at the schools. They would have to wait until the current students graduated for rooms to be open. Peace came back to the galaxy and everyone soon had jobs, no one would be hungry or homeless again. But not me. My job as a pilot was finished, but it was for a very, good reason.   
Kylo began to teach me many things about the force after we left. The feeling of it flowing through my body as I concentrated on certain tasks was like channeling the wind. It flowed freely when I was moving objects or meditating. He was a great teacher and very patient as I asked a lot of questions. Outside of teaching me, he was a very powerful Master.  
There would be times that my data pad would light up, if I was somewhere, where he wasn’t, that told me to go back to our rooms and to be showered and kneeling naked on the floor at the foot of our bed. We would play for hours when he came in. There were other times where we would just laze about in bed and just make love over and over again with gentle touches and kisses. I would get instantly aroused at any thought of him and those would sometimes get me distracted in my training. He would swiftly discipline me the way any Master of the force would with their apprentice, but I knew later that night, I would be over his lap, getting spanked and lectured to.   
But today, I was loading up the shuttle with supplies because he had said that we would be on a long voyage. Mostly in hyperspace travel so I knew we were going to be going quite a ways away. I tried to question on where we were going but he kept telling me that it was a surprise, for me to wear my old First Order uniform, and when he returned, to be standing at attention like I used to. My questions were halted by his hand and said to get back to work. When he stepped away, I grumbled a bit but continued to make sure we had the necessary supplies to be able to survive that long.  
We had moved from the Finalizer a few month ago to a planet that was just inside the outer rim. It was a world where there were few outcroppings of civilizations and seeing anyone was almost unheard of outside of those city limits. We settled into a cave system that was large enough for us to live and train. It was really fitting that we lived in a cave. Neither one of us had any intentions to have contact, or contact anyone from where we were. It also was because of the comment I made when I first say his rooms on the Finalizer. It was a perfect place for us to not be disturbed while training.  
I was just finishing and coming down from the landing, when he came back, his cloak swirling around him and wearing a helmet. I froze in place. It was the same on that I had seen in videos at the training facilities and I had heard, before working for Kylo, that he had destroyed the infamous helmet and refused to wear it again. Recalling a conversation we had a few weeks ago, I had made mention that his former mask made him look even more foreboding. He must have taken that as a hint and made a new one in the meantime. The cloak I hadn’t seen him wear in a while with the matching black leather gloves. As he moved, the front of the cloak opened and I saw that he was wearing his old all black outfit with the large belt and leather boots. The hood was also pulled up making him look even larger than he was if that was possible. My insides grew tight and my core began to tingle at the sight of his approach and with the purposeful steps he was taking.  
Standing at attention like he instructed me to, he stopped about a foot in front of me. I was staring at his chest, watching it rise and fall with each breath. Then he spoke one word, through his voice modifier, making him sound even more intimidating “Color,”  
We had taken to Kylo asking what color I was at before we started anything new and he would ask periodically through whatever we were doing just to make sure I was OK with it, or if I'm doing alright during. I gulped, nervousness and excitement flowed through me as I thought about it. This was definitely something new. “Green, Sir,” I replied with a little waver to my voice.  
Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smiling, “Are all the necessary provisions loaded properly?” he asked, slowly circling me.  
“Yes, Sir. I have checked and rechecked, loaded the crates, and are all secured,” he stopped behind me and from the warmth feeling that crept up my back told me that he was just barely touching me.  
“Good.” I then heard his breathing next to my ear, “Then you won’t mind that I do a quick inspection. Follow,” he ordered and walked up the ramp. Giving a nervous exhale, I turned and followed him up and was startled when he flicked his hand and the ramp closed.  
The lower level was renovated. No longer did bench seats lining the walls with straps hanging down. In its place, on one side, there was a bed with simple linens and a door at the back where we had a refresher installed along with a large fresh water reservoir. The other side had space for various equipment that we may want to take with us when we did fly. That is where six large, and vaguely familiar crates were sitting, all latched to the wall. Kylo walked to one side and began to give all the containers tugs, making sure they they wouldn't break free. I smiled inside when he could not make one move.  
“Good job, Captain. Now, if you do not mind, I would like to depart,” and he went up the small stairs to the bridge. Following, I reached the room as Kylo was sitting at his customary center seat. We made it so that this chair could be removed if we needed room. Besides he would always sit at the copilots chair as we flew.   
I sat and the instrumentation illuminated to life as it recognized me as soon as I sat, “Where to, Sir?” hoping that he would tell me what we might be doing, “Coordinates, Sir?” I asked over my shoulder, when he didn’t answer. He was sitting, one ankle resting on his knee and his hands steepled in front of himself.  
“The first set will do,” he replied. Touching a few illuminated buttons, I tapped the first set of numbers before taking a hold of the controls and lifting off. We sat in silence as I flew us over our home and up into the atmosphere. On the outside, I was still and only moving to adjust a few things on the console in front but on the inside, I was shaking in anticipation of what he was planning. Never having seen him wear his mask in person, the sight of it sent jolts of electricity straight to my core. It wasn’t like Kylo not to tell me where our journeys were taking us. He would always tell me in detail about where we were traveling, what we would be doing there, and what to expect. This secret he was hiding was new, but I trusted that he knew what he was doing.  
After clearing the atmosphere, I tapped the green touch button and the stars, through the window, went from their normal small dots to being stretched out and we were off into hyperspace. I didn’t know what else to do, so I sat there, waiting.  
It didn’t take long before he spoke again, the sound of his voice going through the distorter in the mask, “How long have you been a pilot for the First Order, Captain Kardell?”  
I began to get confused with the question, but picked up on the hints of what he was looking for. “Only a month, Sir” replying with a small smile and hiding a smirk.  
“I have personally inspected all crew that are assigned to my personal ship, but I don’t recall seeing you.” A shiver went through me, “Since we have a few hours before we reach our destiny, I do believe that now would be an adequate time to do so,”   
I turned my head, “Sir?”  
“Stand,” he ordered. Taking a calming breath, I unbuckled the straps and stood next to my chair, facing him at attention. “Do you have, a, companion?” he asked, waving his right hand.  
“Companion, Sir?” I knew what he was asking. I just wanted to prod him a little.  
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “Do you have a sexual partner?”   
Way to be blunt about it, “No, Sir. I gave all of that up when I pledged myself to the First Order. Mind and body,” I added with a little emphasis.  
“Then you won’t have any reservations if I told you to strip, will you?” his voice going a little darker.  
“Sir? That is highly inappropriate.” I placed my hand on my chest, feigning offence.   
“You said yourself, you gave yourself over to the First Order, mind and body. So you will do as your Supreme Leader asks and show him your body. You mind will be close behind.” he leaned back, “Now, do as you are told and remove your clothing. Neatly fold them and place them on your chair,”  
I kept my eyes trained on the visor where behind it, knowing where his eyes were as I unbuttoned my coat. Taking my time, I slowly pulled my arms out of each of the sleeves and hung it over my chair. Taking the hem of my white undershirt, I pulled it up and off, folding it and sitting it on the chair. I looked up at him as I unbuttoned my waist band while slipping off my shoes. He had not moved from his position. I was starting to drag the waistband down, nice and slowly, when his voice startled me, “I am growing impatient.” he growled, the leather of his gloves creaking as both of his hands balled into fists. Quickly placing the pants on top of my shirt, I stood back up to face him, clasping both hands in front of me, in only in my white bra, panties, and socks, “Do you think you’re finished?” he slowly stood and I instantly took a step back, “Take off the bra,” he said in a deeper voice.  
“Sir, I must protest! This is really inappropriate. The First Order has strict rules against about this.”  
“The First Order?” he stood, his height making me cringe a bit, “I am the First Order,” he bellowed, pointing to his chest, “And as being an officer of the First Order, you will do as you are told. Bra. Off!” Kylo pointed at me, his voice getting louder.  
Biting my lip, I reached around to undo the clips. Before the the cups could drop free, I placed my hand over my breasts, covering my now hard nipples, before letting the clothing fall away. After dropping the bra over the pants, I stood upright, looking back up and onto his mask, “There is something so fragile and innocent about a woman just wearing underwear and socks,” he stepped toward me, “Arms up and out, please.” Whimpering I did as he asked, exposing myself to him, as he paced around me. I felt his body almost resting against my back, “Do you have any major injuries that I need to know?” gloved covered hands were gently placed on my shoulders. I shivered at the feeling of the cool leather against my skin and my breath hitched when he slid those hands down my arms and lightly circling my wrists.  
“N..no,Sir,” I replied.  
He then grabbed my wrists, “What would you do for the First Order?” he asked.  
“Anything, Sir. That’s why I took the oath,” I tugged my arms but found that he just gripped them tighter.  
He traced his hands back up my arms and then down my back before coming to end at my rear. He squeezed both globes and I let out a mixture of a moan and a gasp. He came back around to my front and those hands came back to palm each of my breasts. Pinching the nipples, I let out another moan and that was met with a snicker from the mask. Reaching into a hidden pocket, he brought out a couple of what looked like ball bearings and held them up, “Wha.. what are those?” I eyed them still having my arms out to the sides. It was something that I had never seen nor had he shown to me.  
“These are magnetic balls. I will put one on each side of your nipples. Since you moaned so nicely when I squeeze them, this should feel wonderful. Plus, I want to see them on you.” He pulled two of the balls apart and brought them up on either side of one of my nipples. Gently letting go, I felt the pressure they were giving and indeed I did moan. It was a sharp pinch but nothing on the major pain scale. I looked down and saw the two balls on either side. He did the same to the other and I hissed at the feeling.  
“Do you.. Require this of all your crew?” I said, trying to sound angry.  
His hand shot up and seized my throat. Instinctively, my hands came up and grabbed his wrist. The pressure was not that of cutting off air flow, it was of dominance and control, just enough to make me feel it, “I don’t appreciate an officer questioning what I do. You are to follow orders, and that is it,” his voice increasing with every word,” Color!”  
He has choked me before so this wasn’t anything new, but he had not introduced toys into our play. Ropes were the only thing we used. With the knowledge that he knew what he was doing I responded, “Green,” in a choked whisper.  
Kylo let go and stepped back, until he sat again, “Come forward,” and he pointed at a spot about two feet away from him, “Turn around,” He nudged my ankles apart until they were shoulder width, “Bend and grab your ankles,”  
“Sir?” I asked looking back but it was met with a sharp slap against my rear.  
“I won’t ask again,” So now I was bent, my backside facing with with only the cloth of my underwear covering me. I then felt his hands lightly touch the back of my thighs, squeezing slightly when they reached to top, just below my buttocks. He then slipped his fingers under the hem and pulled them down, “Does the uniform of the female officers require them to be void of hair?” he asked, tracing one finger down the crease where the thigh met the crotch. After I was taken off Earth and placed into slavery, my captors sent me for permanent hair removal. They said that none of their clients wanted to see such a mess from a slave so all of us had the procedure done. It was humiliating at the time but being with Kylo, it gave him unrestricted access to my core.  
“Yes, Sir,” replying with a shaky breath, “The medical droids required it,”  
He placed his hands on either side of my labia, and with his thumbs, pulled them apart, exposing me to his gaze, “Are you getting aroused by this, Captain?” and he ran one of his fingers down the length of my slit, and I moaned, feeling the cool leather touch me, “You are.” and he moved his finger to the opening of my cunt.  
“I don’t think this is part of any inspection,” I tried to protest.  
“You’re so right,” and he slid the leather covered digit inside, “You see, I don’t do this to my crew,” he pumped his finger in and out and I closed my eyes at the sensation, “I wanted to see what you would do for your Supreme Leader,” his other hand grabbed one of my ass cheeks, “And It pleases me to find that you very welcoming to my instructions,” he moved faster, “You are so tight. Have you never had a intercourse?”  
I almost laughed at what he was saying. It sounded weird and foreign when he spoke through the mask, but I responded, trying to stay in character, “No, Sir,” I moaned. The leather scraped wonderfully against my insides.  
He pulled his fingers out, “Turn around and kneel,” Kylo sat back. Standing slowly, I did as he said and kneeled between his open legs. Looking down, my underwear was half way down my thighs and the magnetic balls were shining against my skin. Kylo cupped my chin with his gloved hand and tilted my head up to look up into his visor, “What are you willing to do for the First Order, for me?” he rubbed his thumb against my cheek.  
“I would do anything to see it succeed,” I leaned into his touch.  
A distorted chuckle came from him, “What about me?”  
I shuddered and closed my eyes, “Whatever my Supreme Leader needs me to do,”  
His thumb came down and brushed against my lips. I opened my mouth and eyes as he slid the finger in. Closing my lips, I took in the taste and the warmth of leather as he pulled the digit out and in, repeating the movement as I sucked on it, “You do that so well,” he took his other hand, parted his robes and undid the clasps in the front. Kylo pulled out his hard cock and fisted the base, “Let’s see if you do the same with this,” Pulling his thumb out of my mouth, he placed his hand at the back of my head, pushing me toward his flesh. I made a faint struggle against his hand before he grasped my hair, causing me to gasp and his cock entering my mouth, “There is no use struggling. You will do as you are ordered or suffer the consequences. Now be a good girl, and start sucking,”  
It never failed to get me aroused when he regarded me as a good girl and I clenched my thighs together, trying to find any friction. Bobbing my head, I took in as much as I wanted to, trying to make it look like I didn’t know what I was doing, until the fingers on the back of my head threaded into my hair and started to push, “You will take all of me,” I groaned as the head began to push down my throat and I slightly struggled, “You will not be permitted to breath until your nose touches the base,” and with one more thrust, I was fully seated. He pulled back and I withdrew, catching my breath as saliva dripped from my mouth. He then pushed my head back down as he thrust up. We kept a slow pace and I looked up, staring into his mask, knowing that my core was getting wetter and wetter. “Such a good look for you. My cock buried deep in your throat, sucking it like the slut you are,”  
I stilled all movements and began to violently choke on his dick. The word he said instantly killed whatever sexual desire I had running through me and I pushed hard against his thighs until he let go and I fell backwards, heaving for breath, shouting, “Red! Red..” scooting away on my rear.  
“What? What's wrong?” instantly his tone changed and he reached around to the side of his mask, hitting a button, while standing. After removing the headpiece, he dropped it and kneeled next to me, “What happened?” he held onto my shoulders, looking worried.  
“That... that word. I asked... never to use that word,” I had my hand on my chest, holding my body up with the other as he hovered over me.  
“What word? I don...” and he stopped, the realization hitting him, “Oh I am so sorry. I got caught up with the moment and I completely forgot. Please,” I looked up and into the worried face, “I am sorry,” he pulled me close and enveloped me into his arms.  
I patted his back, “It’s OK. I’m sorry for stopping,”  
“No,” he sharply responded, “Don’t be sorry. Never be sorry for saying that safe word,” he pulled back and took my head between his hands, “Remember what I told you. You are and always will be in charge of what we do.” I looked into his eyes and nodded, “Are you alright now? Do you want to stop?”  
“No. I liked it. The helmet is a plus,” I said smiling up at him.  
He smiled back, “ Do you want me to put the helmet back on?”  
I answered by crawling over to few feet away where the mask rested and picked it up. Kylo turned and I held it out, “Yes,”   
He brushed his hand against mine as he smiled and took back the mask, “Well then,” hoisting it over his head and pulling it on, the front of the mask coming down and locking into place. He stood and sat back into his chair, “You will crawl back over here and continue what you were doing,” he flopped his robes back and I eyed the now half hard cock. Licking my lips, I did what he asked, taking each step and hand slowly and swaying my hips back and forth. My underwear was still hanging half way down my thighs as I settled between his legs. Reaching up, I grabbed onto the flesh and gave the tip a soft lick. It twitch a bit in my hand and I took the head into my mouth. I heard him sigh a bit above me and I began to use my tongue in the way I knew he liked.  
I pumped my hand up and down his shaft as I bobbed my head, my other hand reaching in and cupping the soft balls of flesh under there. Kylo’s hand fell onto my head and clutched my hair, pushing me further down, “You have such a soft mouth. I can’t wait to cum and watch you swallow it all,” he said, his tone reaching deep inside of me. I moaned in excitement and he began to push more, the head reaching past the back of my mouth and making it’s way down my throat. He took control of the situation and raised and lowered my head onto him at a faster pace. He would gratefully pause at the top, making sure I could breath and pushing back down again. I could feel my wetness creeping down my thighs as he set the pace. Having his dick sliding in and out of my mouth was a glorious feeling. Having him use my mouth as he wanted to, I didn’t have to think. My pleasure was all dependent on him and what he could do. Squeezing his sack, I heard him moan a bit louder and the pace quickening. I knew he didn’t have much longer to go so I just let everything go and crept my hand further down, pushing on the spot right behind his balls and I felt him stiffen and he began to pulse, “Yes, swallow it all like a good girl,” he said as I worked my throat muscles to do what he asked.   
After a few more pulses he pulled me back and off his cock, and I was gasping for a bit of air, “I hope that was to your satisfaction, Sir,” I sat back and wiped my spit from the side of my mouth.  
Kylo tucked himself back in and sat back, eyeing me on my knees, as I head his fast paced breath through the mask, “Congratulations, Captain. You are now the Supreme Leader's pet,”   
“But wouldn’t that interfere with my regular assignment?” I placed my hands on his knees.  
“You’re a smart girl. I know that you wouldn’t let it interfere. Now, since you have been so good as to give me pleasure, I will ensure you will get the same. But, you are never permitted to touch yourself,”  
I sighed, “But then how will I get the pleasure you are stating?”  
His answer was to stick his boot in between my underwear and crotch, and tilted the toe upwards, nudging against my clit, “Like I said, you’re a smart girl. Figure it out,”  
My breath hitched at the cool feeling of his leather boot touching my cunt. Thrusting my hips upward, my nub rubbed delightfully against the leather and closing my eyes, I placed both of my hands on either side of his calf and began to grind myself against him. I felt Kylos hand rest at the top of my head as I picked up the pace. My slickness was coating his boot and it was getting easier for my to hump against him, “Look at you, rutting against my boot like an animal. It’s almost like you were meant for this job.” he ran his fingers through my hair and I let out a long moan, “Tell me, are you close to climaxing?”  
“Oooo, yes, Sir,” I breathed.”  
“Of course you are. You have always dreamed about doing this to your Supreme leader, haven’t you? I can hear your dirty little thoughts about me when you are working.” I shuddered in pleasure as he spoke, the familiar coil being wound up inside, “This is what you wanted?”  
He tugged at my hair, forcing me to look up and I was panting at this point, “Yes, Sir.”  
“Tell me what you want then,” his fist tighten.  
I had taken to hugging his leg as I rubbed myself against him, “I... I want to serve you and only you,” he kept my head up as I felt my orgasm coming.  
“Go on,” in a deeper voice.  
“Ungh, I want... want a strong man to take me, make me his. Teach me how to please him,”  
Kylo tilted my head further back, “Be grateful that you have found that man. Now, cum for me.” In just a few more thrusts, I clenched his leg and let my climax wash over me. His foot began to move back and forth as I rode it out, feeling my juices flow over the leather and pool to the floor. I shouted, staring up at the ceiling as wave upon wave of overwhelming pleasure coursed through me, “Good girl,” I could barely hear his praise as I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.   
I was shuddering against his leg in my post orgasm bliss when I felt his hand drop away but returned, and the next thing I knew, he had both under my armpits and he lifted me. Kylo maneuvered me to where I was straddling his waist and I laid my head on his shoulder, hugging his neck. His arms came around and held me close.  
Eventually, I pulled back, and looked at his mask. Smiling, I leaned forward and placed a kiss against the leather portion where I knew his mouth would be. His arms squeezed me closer and he stood, taking me with him, pressed against his chest as my feet were dangling. He held me there for just a moment before setting me back down. Leaning over, Kylo pulled my underwear, that had hitched themselves back up, down and off, “I’ll let you keep the socks on. The floor can get cold,” and he reached up and pressed a button on the bottom of the mask. The front once again slid forward and he pulled it off, “Hungry?”  
Smiling, “I’ll go find us something,” and I walked back to the cargo area, enjoying the feeling of floating on air.


	17. Chapter 17

Kylo was below, napping on the bed, and I sat in my chair, naked save for the socks, listening to my music while passively looking through my data pad. I was left with instruction to come and get him when the light started to blink indicating that we were near to our destination. So when the light started to blink, I put down my devices and made my way to our bed. He was stretched out, on his back, with one arm behind his head and the other resting on his stomach. His ankles were crossed and he was still wearing his shoes. Smiling at the thought of what I did to that boot, I sat at his side and placed my hand on his shoulder, “Sir,” I shook him gently, “The light is blinking.” Nothing, “Kylo,” I sung out, “Time to wake up,” I shook a bit harder. A groan was my answer and he wiggled a bit in the bed, “Come on lazy bones,” I poked fun. He popped open one eye, “The light is blinking,”  
He pulled his hand out from behind his head and reached up to pinch my nipple as he yawned. I gritted my teeth at the added pressure as he had yet taken off the silver balls, “Then I guess we should come out of hyper drive and land,” I stood and made my way back up, sitting at the console. Kylo joined me a moment later, taking the copilot's seat and I brought us out and was met by a most familiar planet. It was the planet where he had reached out to his mother to end the war, and where we first began our relationship.  
“Uhm,”   
He cut me off with a wave of his hand, “I figured, since we are on, what some say is a vacation, we would stop here for a day,” he took over the controls and guided the ship down, through a few clouds and sailed over the treetops. I let go and sat back, watching him dodge some of the taller trees for a while. We just made it over a section of very tall trees and into a clearing when I recognized where we were. It was where I landed us. The place was still cleared, and the small lake was just as how I remembered it.  
He sat the ship down and powered the systems down before standing, “Will you ever tell me where we are going?” I asked, following him down and stopped when he lowered the ramp, “Uh, could I get some clothes? We are going outside,”  
Kylo took off his clock and was in the middle of removing his shirt when he looked at me, “I am going to say no for right now. I have have this planet scanned and there are no civilization located here nor will they ever will be,” he threw his shirt on the bed. Now he just stood there, pants, boots and gloves, “Come,” he beckoned me over with an outstretched hand, “We need to get some firewood,” I took his hand and he led me outside.  
About an hour later, we had a stack out next to the fire pit and I was laying on the soft moss, naked, and enjoying the afternoons sun and breeze on my skin. My arms were above my head, pillowing my skull and eyes closed, drinking in the warmth. What ever Kylo was planning, he was keeping everything a surprise. A shadow fell across my face and I opened my eyes, looking up at Kylo wearing just a pair of shorts, “Enjoying yourself, my dear?” he smiled.  
When we first made this arrangement, I had always that that being owned by someone that I was never to leave their sight and I couldn’t do anything for myself. But being with Kylo, I was able to still do what I liked. I told him of what I had thought and he reassured me that if there was something that I had wanted to to, and if I had the time, I was free to do so. He held authority over me and had the final say in everything, but I still had my freedom. So I had taken that time to myself today to enjoy the sun, “Yes. The sun feels wonderful.”  
He crossed his arms and smiled down to me, “It makes me happy that you are enjoying yourself. Now, the last time we were here, I was unable to gaze upon your beautiful body as you bathed. Since dinner is still a couple hours away, I feel that I should rectify that situation.” He leaned down and I took his hand.  
The water from the fall was still as warm as I remembered it and it felt great as we were embracing each other, our lips locked on. My arms were up, circling his neck as he hands rubbed up and down my back as the water cascaded down, washing the remaining soap suds away. My chest was pressed tightly to his torso and I could feel his cock pressing against me as he embraced. It was heavenly, being enveloped in his arms. Every time, it felt like I was lighter than a feather. Anytime I heard his name being said, his voice, or even just him, my heart was always fluttering. I had fallen, and fallen hard for this man, an it felt even better that he felt the same way to me as well.  
I was brought out of my musings as he wove a hand through my hair, gripped it tightly, and tilted my head back. Moaning, I relished in the pleasure and pain this small gesture did, “We need to get out of here, pet,” he said, kissing down my neck and sucking at a spot just below my throat. I placed my hands out to rest on his chest, “It looks like that there is a storm coming. We need to light the fire and have dinner,”  
“Yes, Sir,” I breathed out and he gently let go before walking to the end and diving headfirst into the small area that was deep. Gathering the few bottles I had brought over, I followed suit and met him on the shore where he was waiting with an open towel.  
After dinner, we sat by the fire, listening to the rain fall and the fire crackling in front of us. I was sitting with my back against the rock a towel behind my to protect my back against the roughness of the stone, and Kylo was laying between my legs, his head laying on my lap as I combed my fingers through his hair. He had dressed in a blank tank top, black, loose fitting pants and his normal boots. I was still naked, except for the collar around my neck.   
Kylo’s face was completely relaxed as he slept. All the worry lines and stress faded away and it was nice that he could let his guard down now the war had been over. There were a few times, after the initial shock that there were attempts to end his life. I remembered when we visited an outpost on one of the outer planets. I was just learning about the special crystals inside of light sabers and we were there searching for one of them. Practicing with Kylo’s was fine for stances and maneuvers, but we had decided that full combat was the way to really learn. The handle was already built and was waiting inside of the shuttle for the crystal when we ventured out into the vast forest. We were walking past a large boulder when Kylo let out a scream and fell beside me. Rushing over, I noticed a knife sticking out of his lower back. Quickly looking around, I just barely dodged another one that was aimed at my head. I took his arms and half dragged him away and behind another large rock.   
I didn’t get a chance to look at his wound before shouting voices filled the air. By the sound of it it was two of them. They were shouting to each other that the other wanted to be the one to kill him and the other wanted his head to mount over his fireplace. Panicked, I looked at him. With a strain on his face, he unclipped his saber and shoved it toward me, all the while trying to stay in one position, his hand bracing himself off the ground as to not let the knife dig any deeper than it was. Nodding, I stood and climbed up on the rock, igniting the weapon and looking toward where the pair of men were running down the hill. They stopped when they spotted me.   
Warning them to not go any farther, they laughed and began to taunt me as they walked forward. Wishing that I had Kylos ability to just lift people off of the ground, I dropped into a defensive stance, the weapon raised up, waiting for anything else that they may try to throw at me. The one on my right produced a blaster and fired a few shots at me. I deflected them easily but I lost my footing and nearly fell off the rock. Kylo shouted at me to calm down and breathe. Trying to do as he said, I deflected a few more shots that the man on the left shot at me, but my confidence was fading as the other brought his weapon out and began to fire as well. It was hard trying to concentrate on one enemy, but the addition of the other was proving to be more difficult than I had expected. I could feel myself losing confidence again, but a hand on my ankle instantly calmed everything down. Looking back, Kylo had grabbed onto my leg and was looking back up at me. We had found my coping mechanism a while ago when I was battling inner demons at the beginning of our relationship. I first realized it when I yelled at the three when the proposition of a union was revealed. Kylo placed his hands on my shoulder and gave them a firm squeeze before steering me back to my seat. All it took was one strong grip from him, and inner peace came quickly. My thoughts melted away, and all that was left was him. Kylo. He had become my rock.  
Taking a few deep breaths, I looked at the man on my right that was closing in. He shot a few more bolts toward me. Deflecting the first two, I hit the third perfectly and it shot right back, hitting the man in the chest. Doing the same to the left, we were left alone once again.  
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a hand rubbing my calf. Looking down, Kylo was staring at me, “What are you thinking?” he asked.  
“Nothing,” was my quick response.  
He squeezed my ankle tightly, making my face cringe in pain, “Sapphire,” he said with a warning in his voice. There was to be no secrets between us. He hated it if I kept anything from him or not answered his questions truthfully.  
Sighing, “It was the time where someone tried to kill you with a knife in your back,”  
He let go and rubbed my ankle, “I remember that. You did well with dispatching them.”  
I smiled at his praise, “Anything else?”  
There was something tugging at the back of my mind and I bit my lip, “Are you feeling alright?”  
He gave me a questionable look, “I feel fine, Why do you ask?”  
Running my hands on his chest and laying my head on top of his, “You’ve been sleeping a lot recently,”  
“No I haven’t,”  
Snickering, “Yes, you have. Before we landed here you were sleeping and after dinner you fell asleep on my lap. For the past few weeks, I’ve seen you napping. On the couch after breakfast, in bed after lunch and the times I thought you were meditating, until I heard you snore,”  
He sat up and looked over his shoulder, “I do not snore,” he stood and stretched his hands over his head, his back making an audible pop.  
“Yes you do,” I crossed my legs over my ankles, “I’m just worried.” I looked down at my hands.  
His feet came into view on either side of my knees. Kylo reached down and tipped my head up with his fingers under my chin, “Don’t be worried. It might be that I can finally let my guard down and catch up on some much needed rest. Now come on,” he held out his hand I took it. He hauled me to my feet, “I have some pent up energy that I need to release,” and he led me back to the ship. Climbing the ramp with a smile, I knew I was going to be sore tomorrow

Indeed I was tender the next morning. With a groan, I rolled to my back only to be met with a sting from my backside. As I was on all fours, Kylo would repeatedly spank me over and over again and he slammed his cock into my cunt. The feeling of him bottoming out and repeating the process made my orgasm come quickly. But he would always demand another one from as he plowed into me. I think he was trying to prove that he still had a lot of energy despite what I said about him sleeping.   
I tried to bring my hands down to pull up the covers but I found that they would not move. Looking up, I found that my wrists were tied together and attached to a fitting in the wall. I pulled a few time but they would not budge, “Kylo?”   
“I’m here,” His voice came from a dark corner of the cargo hold. Even though the ramp was down and the light of the morning sun reflected inside, where he sat, no light touched it. He must have been wearing his usual black outfit.   
Taking a calming breath, “Uhm, why the restraints?”  
“I like the idea of having you naked in my at all times,” he chuckled.  
Rolling my eyes, “But I’m always naked,”  
“That you are,” he sighed, “I am going to quiz you. For every right answer, you will get a piece of clothing back for the day,”  
I crinkle my face, “Why clothes?”  
“I want you to show me the cliff you hiked to the last time we were here. You had taken me on a few of those walks, but never to the cliff you talked about. I would rather have some protection on you as we walk,”  
Tugging again, “Fine. And the wrong answers?”  
“While we are walking, I’m going to find a decent branch. When we get back, you will receive two hits for every wrong answer. I want to make sure that you are learning everything I am teaching you and the importance of channeling the force and how it affects everything around you.”  
“A switch? Really?” I tugged a bit harder, “Can we use something else, please?” I just knew that using a switch will definitely draw blood and I thought we agreed long ago that there would be no broken skin.  
His corner was silent for a bit, “Then what do you suggest?”  
“Anything. A belt, rope, anything but a switch. That will cut.”  
“Hmm. You’re right. No switch. A belt then. But, for every wrong, you get three. I’ve always wondered what kinds of sounds you would make. Ready?”  
Defeated, I sighed, “Alright,”  
There were ten question in all. They ranged from what he taught me about the sith and the jedi, the dark side and the light, and parts of the lightsaber. In all, I got eight out of the ten correct. After untying my wrists, he began to dress me. Every time he did this, I felt like a child and so small, but he made it a point that he was in charge of me and it was his responsibility to see me properly dressed.  
After he was done tying my shoes, I led the way out of the ship and off into the woods. I took a path that I had taken when we were there last that I knew it would land us at the cliff. Along the way I stopped and looked at various plants and flowers. On the sections where it was wide enough, I held his hand as we walked side by side and talked about improvements that we had wanted to do at home. He commented that we had to find a way to include an outdoor shower complete with waterfall.  
A couple hours later, we reached the cliff. It was as beautiful as I remembered it. It overlooked a grand valley that had a large river winding through it, various birds were soaring in the distance. Sitting with our legs hanging over the edge, Kylo put his arm around my shoulder and I snuggled into his side. We sat in silence for a long time, just enjoying each other and the view. A part of me wished that this was our home.   
“Have you ever thought about us moving?” I asked.  
“Hmmm. No. Why?” he squeezed my shoulder.  
Leaning into his side further, “I was just thinking about how beautiful this place is and secluded.”  
“Would you like to move here?” he asked, resting his cheek on the top of my head.  
“It’s a thought. Far away from other people. The outdoor shower is already installed.” My hand that was resting on his thigh, slowly crept upwards, “We would never have to worry about anyone stumbling on out little homestead,”  
“And no one can hear you scream,” he added. I bit my bottom lip and continued up his thigh till I ended at the top, and palmed his half hard erection as I squeezed my thighs together, “We may have to consider relocating,” he tipped my head up and captured my lips.

I was laying on Kylo bare chest, trying to catch my breath, and enjoying post orgasm bliss. After we made out along the cliffs edge, stripped off our clothes, he pulled me on top indicating that he wanted me to ride him. The sounds we made made any living creatures immediately leave the area. His heartbeat was starting to calm down as was mine and his hands went from my hips to my back, hugging me close and I felt his softening cock flop out of my cunt and his cum following it.  
He patted my back, “We need to go back.”  
Dreading what awaits for me, “Do we have to?” I hugged him closer.  
“The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can have lunch. I know you’re not looking forward to it.” he rubbed my back and gave the top of my head a kiss.  
We walked back in relative silence but hand in hand. I was thinking about how much this was going to hurt. Being spanked was rough but that was flesh on flesh. This was going to entail leather on flesh.  
After getting back to the ship, he stripped me of my clothes, like always, and placed them over the rock that we used as a back rest, “Bend over the rock please,” he pointed to where he laid my clothes. With tears already starting to form, I walked over and drape myself over the clothes. I shivered a little when I heard the clinking of a belt buckle, “I want you to count, out loud. As we discussed earlier, you will get three lashings for every wrong answer. You got two wrong so you will get a total of six with the belt. Are you ready?” he said as he rubbed my lower back in comfort.  
“Ye.. yes, Sir,” responding with a shake.  
“It will be over soon,” he said, patting my rear before stepping back.  
I was trying to calm my breathing when the first strike hit. It felt like fire. I brought my hands up and screamed into them, tears finally breaking loose. “One!” I shouted out my body shaking.  
“One, what?” he said above me.  
Staring at the ground, “One, Sir,”  
“Good girl,”  
Another crack of the belt against my rear, a few inches lower than the last, and I screamed again, my legs now bouncing from the pain. “T.. two, Sir,” I finally spat out, my hands covering my face and I bit down on my fist.  
The next strike was where the ass meets the thigh, his favorite spot to hit and instinctively, I brought my hand up to try to protect my rear, but stopped and braced it against the rock. He once told me that if I tried to interfere with the punishments, he would start again and double the number, “Three, Sir!” I screamed, not knowing how I am going to survive one more.  
At this point, I was heaving, trying to inhale oxygen and crying at the same time. A hand rubbed my lower back, “You’re doing good,” Kylo reassured me and stepped back.  
The next hit was directly below the other, “Four, Sir,” I cried out and shoving my fist into my mouth.  
A strike landed at the top of my thighs and I arched my back upwards, straining from the blow, “Five, Sir!” I screamed.  
A hand was placed between my shoulder blades and I was forcefully shoved back down, “Stay in position!” he shouted and he landed the last blow right on top of the previous.  
“Six, Sir!” I yelled and I was repeating over and over again that I was sorry and promised that I would remember more next time. Hands grasped my shoulders and I was helped to stand. He turned me to face him and Kylo wrapped his arms around me, “It's ok. It's all over now. Calm down,” But I couldn't. I clutched his shirt, like it was the last thing on earth, and cried deeply into it. He rubbed his hands up and down my back as I began to calm my breathing. As my sniffling began to subside, he pulled me back a bit and looked at me, “Are you ok now?” I just nodded, “Hungry?” and I nodded again. He smiled and went back into the ship.  
After he fed me lunch we decided that a nap was in order. The walk that morning and the beating I received, I was tired. Leading me inside, he began to undress, leaving just his underwear on and climbed in. Pulling my hand, Kylo settled me between his legs, my head resting on his lower stomach, his legs on either side. He began to run his fingers against my scalp and before I knew it, I was asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Sitting gingerly at the console, I began to power up the ship as Kylo was making sure the cargo was secure. I shifted a little as not to put too much pressure on one spot as I changed the coordinates to our next destination. My hair was still damp from the shower we had earlier under the waterfall. I was waiting for the red light to go out, indicating the ramp door closing as I tilted to one side, slightly rubbing a spot where the belt had landed yesterday, “I think this is the first time I have given you bruises,” Kylo said behind me, walking over to the copilots seat.  
“No, you have before,” I tapped a few places as the light I had been waiting for turned green.  
“When?” he said, not believing me.  
Lifting off, I guided us through the trees and up into the sky, “Remember when we were attacked and you went after the rebels with your tie?” He nodded yes, “Well, when you were trying to prove a point with the wooden rods, you hit me several times. Once on my back, another across my ass, twice across my chest, and the last on my hand. They stayed bruised for over a week.”  
“That is something that I wished I had seen,” he remarked, sitting back with a data pad.  
Smiling, I set us straight and we jumped to hyperspace and settled in for a very longs ride.

Five days later, I was awoken by Kylo shaking my shoulder. I had fallen asleep in the bed, listening to my music and looking at my data pad, “Wha?” goggling sitting up, wiping the sleep from my eyes.  
“I need you to come with me,” he flipped back the covers, the cool air hitting my naked skin had me curling up, wishing for that blanket.  
Groaning, I swung my legs off the bed and stood, my back popping at the movement. Walking with him to the small stairs, he turned to me, “Close your eyes and no peeking,” he grabbed both of my hands.  
“Why?”  
“Just, please. I want it to be a surprise.” he begged. Closing my eyes, I smiled as he led me onto the bridge and stopped me halfway in, “Keep them closed,” he said as he let go. I heard him tap a few of the controls and the familiar sound of the engines powering down as they came out of hyperspace. The next feeling was his hands on my shoulder and his lips next to my ear, “Open your eyes,” he whispered.  
I shivered as usual at his voice in that husky tone as I opened. My jaw dropped at the sight and I was rendered both speechless and breathless. Sitting before me was a very familiar blue and green planet. Cupping my hands, I brought them up, coving my mouth in astonishment and tears started to stream down my face. Earth. I was looking at Earth, my home planet. I openly cried and sobbed as I took in it’s marvel beauty. Turning around, I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arms around as far as thought go, hugging him tightly, “Thank you,” I sobbed.  
Kylo rubbed his hands up and down my back, “Anything for you.” he held me tighter.  
I pulled away and rubbed some of the tears away, “How did you know where this was?”  
“My mother. She got in touch with a few people and they knew what planet I was seeking,” he smiled at me, “There are a few places that are safe for us to land.”  
“Land? Won’t they see us coming. Almost every country down there monitors the planet and anything that is flying,”  
“My dear,” he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, “Your people have such primitive technology. No one down there will be able to see us,” he let go and went to the pilot's seat, “Plus, there are a few people down there that know of our existence and are very willing to cooperate,” He tilted the ship down and the planet began to enlarge as we got closer. I stumbled over to the co pilot's and had my eyes glued to the planet below. Before long, we were skimming over top trees and farmland. It was true. No one could see this ship flying through the sky. The animals either. Before long, he slowed and landed next to a very large, red barn, “Let's get you dressed. I have been told that it’s quite cold in this region this time of year and I can’t have you freeze to death,”  
After I was dressed in long pants, shirt, coat and boots, he lowered the ramp and we stepped out. I stopped at the bottom of the ramp and stared at the ground that was a foot away. After all these years, I would never had guessed I would see this planet again, let alone stand on it. Kylo turned around when he didn’t see me walking with him and came back. Holding out his hand, I smiled at him and took it, all the while stepping down onto the ground.   
“Hello!” someone from the barn.  
We turned and an elderly gentleman was coming out of the barn, waving and smiling at us. I felt Kylo stiffen at the sight, “Hi!” I responded back.  
“I was told to look out for you two,” he smiled and approached us, “Names Earl,” he stuck out his hand. Kylo just looked down at it and back at me.  
Rolling my eyes, I took his hand and shook it, “Sapphire. This is Kylo,” I looked back up at him and he was still stiff.  
“And what brings you two lovebirds here to our lovely world?”  
I shifted, “It seems to be that this was a surprise for me. I was taken from here years ago and he decided to try to find my home and brought me back,”  
He blinked at me a few times, “Oh my. That must have been terrifying. Well, welcome back. I guess that you know how to drive then?” he began to walk back into the barn. Tugging on Kylos hand, we followed. Inside, there was a brand new truck with several pieces of luggage beside it.  
“I remember.” I responded.  
“Good. Did you bring what was asked for?” he turned to me.  
“Bring?” I questioned and looked back up to Kylos still motionless face.  
Pulling out a bag, he handed it to the old man without saying a word. Earl opened it up and his eyes widen at what was inside, “I take it that this is more than enough?” Kylo finally spoke, dryly.  
“Oh yes in deed. Thank you.” He walked over to the truck and opened the passenger door. Pulling out a box, “You ID’s are inside. There are several credit cards and cash. You’ll find that there is no spending limit. Are you staying for the two weeks that was transmitted?”  
My jaw dropped at what I saw in the shoe box. I didn’t expect there to be that much money inside, “Yes, we are,” Kylo responded, taking the box out of hands and placing it back inside of the truck.  
“Then welcome to Montana, USA. I do sure hope your stay will be wonderful. There is a cell phone in the glove box. Call me if you need anything,” He gave Kylo the keys and left the barn, still looking in the bag.  
“Hey,” I touched Kylos arm, “Are you ok?”  
“I’m fine,” he stiffly said, looking at the keys, “How does this work?”  
I grabbed the keys and headed to the drivers door, “You have to stick the metal part into the ignition and start it,” climbing up, I turned the key and the truck shuddered to life.  
“What is that sound?” he asked as he put the luggage in the rear seat.  
“This is an internal combustion engine. It’s not like a speeder or any other smaller ships. This one you have to stop every so often to fuel up. Now come on. I want to drive somewhere,” I was practically bouncing. This time, he rolled his eyes and climbed in, “Be sure to buckle your seat belt,” and I put the truck in dive and started down the driveway.  
“Do they not have anything that hovers?” Kylo asked, holding onto the seat and bouncing with each bump.  
“Nope. Everything has wheels. Except if it’s a plane or helicopter.” I followed the long drive out onto a paved state road, “It feels great to be back home,” I said to myself as I pulled off, “Since you seem to know the logistics of being here, I feel you have an itinerary set up. Where are we going first?” I looked over. Kylo was looking out of the window and watching the small rain drops hitting the glass.  
“Uh, I don’t have one,” he touched the cool glass.  
I looked at him with a questionable look, “What? You always have a plan.”  
“Yeah, well I don’t know anything about this planet. How am I supposed to know where we are going to go?” he snapped back at me, clearly annoyed at what he called primitive technology.  
Sighing, I sat back and looked at the fuel gauge, “Well since we are on a full tank of gas, how about we just drive and enjoy the ride, and stop when ever we feel like stopping?”  
He nodded and continued to look outside.  
Over the next few days, we visited several states and small towns, stopping at some of the most extravagant hotels I had ever seen or heard of. We would take hikes on local trails and dined in fine hotels. He was treating me like I was some sort of princess and I was loving every minute of it.  
One night at a hotel that overlooked the mountains, we had just came back from dinner and I was on the balcony, leaning against the rail. Kylo came out and stood next to me. We stood in silence for a while taking in the view. “This planet is very, unique,” he finally said out loud.  
“It is. The scenery is beautiful though,” I leaned against him.  
He held me close to his side, “I’ve been doing a bit of research on this Internet of yours. You all have a lot of different traditions,”   
“There are a lot of cultures,”  
“Yes. But there is one that piqued my interest,” he stepped away, and I kept looking out at the view, “There is a tradition here,” and he pulled out a small black box, “That the male of the species gets down on one knee in front the the female,” I quickly looked over and he was what he described, “And hold out a box, with a ring before saying, ‘Sapphire, will you do me the honor of being my wife?’” he held out the now opened box that held a ring silver with a sapphire marquise cut center, surrounded by two small diamonds.  
I stood, shocked at what I had just heard, not really believe in at what I had just heard. He just proposed to me. Kylo Ren, master of the force and the most powerful man I had ever known, on one knee asking for me to be his wife. With tears welling up in my eyes, “Yes. Yes,” I said over and over again. He took the ring from the box as I held out my hand, and he slipped the ring onto my finger. Kissing my hand, Kylo stood and wrapped me in a hug.  
We leaned back from each other and I could see matching tears in his eyes. He leaned down and we kissed. His tongue ran across the seam of my lips and I sighed as I let him in, deepening the kiss feeling the muscle poke and prod, rubbing against the roof of my mouth until he sucked and bit on my bottom lip. He pulled away again “I have one more thing for you,” and he took my hand and led me back inside. Closing the door to the balcony he led me to the center of the room and began to take my clothes off. Every inch of skin he exposed he placed open mouth kisses to and each time sent small shock waves through to my core.  
Before long, I was standing naked in the center of the room, “Kneel,” he whispered in my ear and stepped away. Happily dropping to my knees, I watched as Kylo stepped around me and also fell to his knees in front of me. Looking up, I gave him a questionable look, “A while ago, you gave me a gift that I said at the time, we were not ready for,” he pulled out another box from his pocket. My eyes widen as I recognized it, “ I believe that now we are,” he opened it and the familiar gem covered collar, matching leash, and ring sat on the black cloth. He pulled out the collar part and placed the rest in my hands, “Do you accept me as your Master, lover, and husband?,” he held up the collar.  
I looked deep into his eyes and nodded, “I do. I want and need this. I need your ownership and everything else that you have to offer.”  
He reached around my neck and unlatched the leather collar, “I just hope that I can be a good husband,” and he put the new one around my neck.   
I placed my hands on his as they came back from my neck, “You’re a great Master. You’re going to be an even greater husband.” I took out the leash and ring, “Do you accept me as your servant, lover, and wife?” I repeated his words  
He smiled, “I both want and need your servitude. Everything about what you do makes me extremely happy,” He held out his arm that still had the leather leash around it, “Will... will I still be able to wear the leather one?” I unwound the leash from his wrist.  
“I don’t see why not. Do you not like this one?” he asked, touching the jewels on my neck as I wrapped the new one.  
“I love it. I really do. I just think that, well I like the feel of the other one. The leather is smooth and when you yank on it, it feels good. I don’t know how it would feel if you did that with this one. It’s pretty thin,” and I held up the ring.  
Kylo held his hand out, “Well, what do you think about wearing this for special occasions?”  
Sliding the ring on his finger, “I’d like that.”  
He smiled, captured my face between his hands and leaned in. The kiss was light before he pulled away, but still kept my head captured, “My treasure, my wife,” and he kissed my lips again, this time deeper.

We had two more days before going back and I had driven us to a familiar town as we made our way back to the ship. “I know this place,” I whispered to myself as I turned down the small street.  
Kylo turned to me, “What?”  
“This town. I remember this town,” Then it clicked, “It’s where I used to live,” Pulling up to a small diner on main street, I turned to Kylo, “Remember the cult I told you I was in?” he nodded, “I used to make runs for supplies here. Over there,” I pointed at his window, “Was Mr Markins hardware store,” He looked and saw an old sign that said Hardware above a large window. Several people were inside indicating that they were still open, “Over there,” I pointed behind us, “Is the pharmacy, and here is the diner I always went to for lunch when I was waiting for the supplies to be gathered,” I looked up at the faded pink building, “They had the best burgers and gravy fries I had ever tasted,” I sat back in the seat and smiled.  
“Burger?” he asked looking at me with a puzzled look.  
“It’s ground meat formed into a patty and grilled. It’s been so long since I’ve had one,”   
He looked up at the building and back at me, “It is about lunch time. Would you like to eat one of these burgers to seem to really like?”   
I groaned in satisfaction as I sank my teeth into the burger. Closing my eyes, I drank in the taste of the many ingredients I had piled onto the sandwich, smiling as I chewed, “I can smell the grease,” Kylo muttered, picking up the top bun and looking at the tomato and lettuce that sat atop the ground beef.  
Swallowing, “Eat it.” I pointed and took another bite.   
“With your hands?”  
“You have no problems feeding me with your hands,” I smirked and grabbed a gravy covered fry.  
“That’s different,” he replied, putting the burger in his hands and eyeing the food.  
“Just try it, please?” He looked at me once more before taking a bite. He gave a weird face as he chewed before looking at the burger again, “Good?” He gave a small nod and took another bite, “I knew you'd like it,” and took a sip from the soda next to me.  
“Sapphire?” a voice said next to me.  
I remember that voice. Kylo looked at me possessively. Looking to where someone had called my name, I saw an older man with graying brown hair standing there. “Jack?” I exclaimed.  
“Yeah. You’re back!” he said with astonishment and pulled out the empty seat next to me, “How did you get back?” he looked into my eyes. Kylo had put his food down and eyed the man wearily, crossing his arms in front of him.  
“We flew.” I said matter of factly. Looking around I tried to see if there were others I remembered.  
“No one else is here. After you, well, we all began to ask questions. I found out that Peter contacted someone and made the whole ruse up. There wasn’t anyone or anything that was about to blow up the planet. He just wanted to see you gone,” he looked nervously at Kylo.  
The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was taken because someone wanted me gone. He couldn’t do it himself, “So it was all a trick?” I whispered out loud.  
Jack looked down at his hands, “All of it. The cause, reasons for certain, rituals,” he paused. I knew what he was referring too, “I’m sorry,” he took my hand and looked at me with sad eyes, “I didn’t want to see you hurt so that’s why I volunteered to,” he couldn’t finish the sentence but did look down. Kylo shifted and stared at the man angrily, “We all left after you did. The lies that were fed to us got too much and we all disbanded. Especially after Peter died. It was like a chain had lifted from us and we were free,” I could feel Kylo getting angrier the longer Jack held my hand, “I am so happy to see that you are still alive.”  
I smiled back at him, “How did he die?”  
Jake looked up at me, “I slit his throat in his sleep,” he whispered, “When I found out the truth, I knew he had to die.” Nodding, I looked down at my lap. Jake let go of my hand and sat back, “So, who is he?” he glanced over at Kylo.  
“Oh. Kylo?” his eyes switched to mine, “This is Jake. He was with the group I was in before I left earth. Jake, This is Kylo Ren.”  
Jake stuck his hand out to shake it and Kylo looked down at it before remembering what I had done with Earl. Grasping the other man's hand, Jake shook it a moment before scrunching his face, “Quite a grip you go there,” and his hand was dropped, “Not from here?” he looked at me.  
“No. I ended up in a galaxy far away from here and in the middle of a war. I was a pilot for the side that I felt was wining and that’s where I met the leader. They called him Supreme Leader and now we are here together,” I smiled at Kylo. He took his eyes away from Jake to look at me. His eyes softened a bit, “But we are only here for a visit. We’re leaving in a couple of days.” Jakes eyebrows lifted quite a bit as he looked at Kylo.  
“Wow. Congratulations,” he looked back to me and took one of my hands in his again, “It’s nice knowing that you are alright and what looks to be in great hands. I wish you the best in your life,” he kissed my hand and stood, “You have a nice life okay?” and I nodded. He patted my shoulder, “Good bye,” and he left. I watched him walk out of the diner door before looking back at Kylo.  
He just gave me a blank stare, “That was unexpected,” and I picked up my food and we ate the rest of our meal in silence.  
It was the same way as we kept driving. I kept looking over at him as I drove but his attention was drawn to whatever was outside his window, his arms crossed. He broke the silence about an hour into our trip, “I don’t like when someone touches what is mine,” he said, not looking over at me. I gave him a small smile, “Was he the one that took your virginity?”  
“Yes.”  
“We need to find a place to stay for the night,”  
“So soon? It’s only,” I looked at the clock on the dash, “One thirty,” I said, turning off the main road to a small gas station.   
“Don’t question me. Get one with a big bathtub as well,” he replied with a stern face.  
“Yes, Sir,” and I pulled out the cell phone and began looking. Five minutes later, “The hotel is about thirty minutes away but we can’t check in till three. What would you like to do till then?” The tension in the cab was growing more and more.  
“Take me to one of those, wall things,”   
“Wall? Walmart?” We had seen many on our travels and I had stopped in a couple of them for some supplies, “Why Walmart?”  
He glared at me and I quickly looked out of the windshield, “What did I just say?” he snapped at me, slapping his hand against the door panel.  
Biting my lip, I looked down at my lap. Not knowing what has caused the change in his demeanor made me a bit nervous and I wanted to question why, but I knew better, “Sorry, Sir. There is one just over the ridge there.” and I put the truck back into drive and we headed down the small highway.  
Pulling into the parking lot, I found a spot close to the entrance and as I was beginning to get out, my shoulder was caught by his hand, “No. You stay here. I’ll be back shortly,” and he slid out of the cab. Watching him walk away left me thinking what had happened. Before lunch, we were talking and laughing about things. Now, it seemed that he had shut me out. I fingered the gem collar, trying to think of what had set him off like that. Was it the food? I knew he wasn’t used to eating something like a burger, but I knew I saw him enjoying it. Was it Jake? Kylo was getting uncomfortable with the older man sitting there, talking to me. It was nice to see him again and to hear that the cult disbanded. Too bad it took me leaving to make that happen.  
I was leaning against the cool class of the window when the passenger side opened up. Kylo placed a bag behind his seat and climbed it. I wiped a few tears that fell from my eyes and sat straighter in my seat, not wanting to look at him. He must have noticed and he held his hand out toward me, “Come here,” he softly said and I scooted over, grabbing his hand. He maneuvered me as so I was sitting sideways on his lap. Settling in, he placed his head on top of mine, “It’s not your fault,” he wrapped his arms around me and I took in a deep breath, inhaling his scent, “I’m not mad at you, just at the whole situation.” he kissed my head, “Is there room service at this hotel?”  
Nodding, “Yes,”  
“Good. Let’s go, ok?” I looked up and he kissed me gently.  
When we arrived at the hotel, I watched as he took out one of luggage bag and the Walmart one. Holding his hand out, I took it and he led me through the front door and to the receptionist desk. Letting go to get the money out for the room, he whispered into my ear, “Stay next to me. Don’t wander off,” and he turned away. I was starting to get a bit confused. Don’t wander off? Where was I going to wander to?  
Thanking the lady behind the desk, he ushered me over to where the elevators were and stepped inside, “Wander off? Where was I going to wander to?” I asked.  
“I just wanted to make sure my little girl stays by my side. Who knows what trouble you would be getting into,” he smirked as he pulled me closer. I looked down an blushed a little. I think I knew what he had planned for.  
Getting to our floor, he placed a hand on my lower back and pushed me gently out and toward the room I had reserved. I had booked us one of the whirlpool king suites. A large window overlooked the nearby city and the living room laid before us. To the right, a large bedroom, with a king bed in the center and a large tub just inside. Kylo placed the bags next to the couch and sat down. He held out his hand and I walked over, not knowing what he wanted me to do. Usually he would undress me and I would kneel at his feet. This time, he left me standing at the door.  
As I reached him, he pulled me sideways on his lap again rubbed his hand up and down the outside of my thigh, “Tonight is special,” he said, “I think it's about time that I claim you fully. Something about what Jake was saying, and looking at you, and what he did to you made me realize that you are very much a treasure to me than you know. So we are going to take the rest of the night and rectify the situation. But first,” he leaned in and nibbled on my ear a bit before whispering, “I want you to suck on daddy's cock. Think you can do that?”  
Waves of pleasure went through me from my ear to my core. Wigging a bit, “Yes.”  
He pinched my rear, “Yes what?” he breathed.  
“Yes daddy,” I gasped.  
He smiled, “Good girl,” I slid off his lap and settled between his legs, “You look so good between my legs.” I reached up and rubbed the inside of his legs before reaching up and unbuckling his belt. Sliding the zipper down, I reached in and gently grasped his cock, pulling it out. I licked my lips before flicking my tongue at the underside of the head, lapping at the salty precum. His hand came up and patted my head.  
“Daddy, you’re so big. I can't fit all of it my mouth,” I smiled and stroked my hand up and down.  
“It’s ok baby, just do your best,” I wrapped my lips around the head and gently sucked as my hand moved up and down his shaft.   
I concentrated on the head quite a bit, swirling my tongue around and dipping it in the slit every once in a while while my other hand stroked him. My other hand reached into his clothes and cupped the soft sack inside. A moan escaped from Kylos lips. No matter if we were playing or just making love, the feel of his cock in my mouth was one of the best. The softness of the skin, the way it felt when it was hard as steel, the taste of his cum, everything about it made me weak in the knees. I also liked the fact that I could make him cum quickly, “You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth. It’s almost like you were meant to be sucking it,” he threaded his fingers in my hair.  
I pulled back, “I love sucking your cock, daddy. It tastes so wonderful,” and I went back down, this time inching his member deeper into my throat.  
“You keep this up, you’re going to get a surprise,”   
“I love surprises. What type of surprise is it, daddy,” I knew he wouldn’t last long if I kept calling him that.  
“You’ll get my cum. Would you like that?”  
“Oh yes, daddy,” and with that, I swallowed the entire length, my nose touching the cloth of his pants. I swallowed a few times, I heard him moan louder.  
“Oh fuck,” he whispered. Bobbing my head, I backed away until just his head was in my mouth then lunged forward till my face was once again buried in his lap. I repeated the motion over and over again, going as fast as I could while taking a breath each time, “I’m going to cum. Daddy is going to cum down your throat, baby,” he whispered. I looked up and we locked eyes. His balls pulsed and instead going all the way down, I just left the head in my mouth. Hot juices flowed out of him and I kept my mouth locked around his head, letting his cum pool in my mouth. After I knew he was finished, I leaned back, keeping a tight seal of my lips as his head popped out. Kylo was sitting back against the couch, breathing heavy. With a smile, I opened my mouth to show his cum sitting there before closing again and swallowing a few times, “Fuck, Sapphire,” he gasped, “I can never last long when you do that,”  
“Then did I do good daddy?” I said, still on my knees and rubbing his legs.  
“Always baby. Now let's get you in the bath. Daddy is going to clean you good,” we both smiled.


	19. Chapter 19

I giggled a little as I watched Kylo fill the whirlpool tub and dump a solution that came from a bottle that had a Disney princess label on the front. Kylo Ren, master of the force, went and bought a child's bubble bath. He was sitting on the edge, feeling the water, still fully clothed but with his sleeves rolled up. After our little time in the living room, he undressed me and brought me over to the tub. Reaching out, I gave him my hand and he helped me into the water. Sitting, I laughed a little as I knew he put in way too much of the liquid. The water was just around my chest but the bubbles reached my ears. He then took a wash cloth that was filled with soap and began to wash me, starting from my neck and working down. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the roughness of the cloth scrub against my body.   
Kylo took his time, dipping the cloth into the water before continuing further. I opened my eyes and watch him as he worked. I giggled again at the sight of him. His sleeves were rolled up but the edges were wet, a bit of the bubbles clung to his hair, and the concentration on his face. He was taking this so very seriously. My laughing stopped when he grabbed my ankle and pulled, sending me under just for a moment.  
Surfacing, I sputtered and wiped furiously at my face, trying to clear the soap and water away, “It’s not nice to laugh at daddy,” he said said but I could tell he was smiling.  
“I wasn’t laughing,” I pouted, but with a smile on my face. That’s why he bought the bubble bath. He smiled back and continued on. After finishing with my limbs and torso, he went about dragging the rough cloth against my core. I hitched my breath and grabbed his arm. Rubbing against me, Kylo made a point of bringing the washcloth up from my entrance and fully dragging it up and under the hood of my clit, ever so slowly. I arched my back and clung to him as he did the same motion over and over again. Spreading my legs to give him more room, I was disappointed when he pulled away, but gasped as he came back down, but further back. The cloth rubbed between my cheeks and rubbed against the tight pucker. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, with questions in my eyes, “I’m making sure that you are thoroughly clean.” He let go of the cloth and rubbed his fingers against it. Mixed feelings ran through me as his fingers played with the hold, “I have to make sure that you are ready for me when I finally take you,” and he wagged a finger inside, aided by the soapiness of the water. I gasped again at the intrusion, the muscles instinctively clamping down trying to deny the digit entrance, “Relax,” he whispered. I felt another finger, but this time at my entrance as he plunged that one in. I moaned at the feeling of being filled. He moved his fingers in and out and I leaned back, mouth open in an empty moan. He took this time to capture my mouth and his tongue dove deep into my mouth. His thumb came out and rubbed my clit slowly and I moaned loudly. I was filled in all three of my hold by him and kept the steady pace as I let my legs just fall away. Thrusting my hips, I tried to get him to go faster but he wasn’t having it. I was silently begging for him to go faster, for me to reach my climax. Kylo broke away and pulled my hair with his free hand, “I’m going to let you cum. Only because I want to feel you clench on my fingers as you do. After, you have a choice. I am going take this hole,” and he wiggled that finger a bit, “but have a choice of how. We can be gentle and I can take my time to make sure that you are thoroughly stretched, or,” he removed his hand from my hair but wrapped it around my neck and squeezed. Even though I was under the water, I knew I was dripping with wetness, “Or we can do this my way,”  
“What... is your way?” I choked out, squirming under his hands.  
He gave me a devilish smile, “That is for me know and you to endure. Think about it,” and he started to move his hand faster and faster under the water. The bubbles had long popped and his had was moving at a very fast pace, making the water ripple with every move. His thumb dug harder into the nub and I could feel myself edging closer and closer to my climax, “Cum, now,” he demanded and put more pressure on my neck. I fell over the edge, screaming out and clutching his arms, my body convulsing with the waves of pleasure that ran through me. The pressure on my neck released and his fingers pulled out of me as I laid limply in the tub.   
He crossed his arms on the edge of the tub as he knelt next to it, staring down at me as I came down from my high, “Well?” he asked, “Have you decided?”  
I looked up at him and thought. When we finally had sex, it was soft and gentle. He treated me like I was the most expensive piece of glass and was afraid to break me. Admittedly, I had a bit of fear of what was coming. I’ve never had anal sex before and I already knew how huge he was, but I couldn’t help but get a bit excited on what he was thinking about doing. So through a whispered voice, “Your way,” The small smile he gave me at my answer quickly disappeared and the look that was replaced almost made me question the decision I had just made. Without warning, his hands shot out and grabbed me by arms. Barely lifting me out of the tub, he threw me to the ground, skidding a few feet away with the help of my soap slick skin. I landed roughly, but not something I was never used to. He would often manhandle me before sex and I craved every minute of it. Leaning on my side, I looked up and he was standing at his full height.   
I tried to scramble away, but he stalked forward and grabbed my hair. Giving out a little shriek, Kylo began to drag me to the door. Hanging onto his wrist, I slid on my rear to the threshold where he stopped for a second, letting me get my footing. We agreed long ago that rug burns were definitely not sexy nor was the pain. Getting to my knees, he continued on through the bedroom and back into the living room, going a bit slowly so I could keep up. There, he pressed my face against his black dress shoe, “Kiss it,” he demanded, giving my hair a little shake. Picking my lips, I touched the top of his shoe with my lips, “Stay right there,” he said through his teeth. Obeying, I watched as he dragged out the long coffee table away from the couch and closer to me. Pulling off the couch cushions, he stacked two on the table before turning to me, “Come here,” he pointed to the ground in front of him. Crawling, I made my way to where he indicated and he once again grabbed my hair and twisted forcing me to look up, “What is your fucking color,” he asked through clenched teeth.  
I swallowed a few times while clutching his leg. “Green,” I finally whispered.  
“Good,” and he forced my head down to the carpet, “I wonder how loud you would scream if I just took you right now, raw.” All I could do was groan. I knew he wouldn’t do it but they way he was talking, I was getting more and more turned on. Letting go, he placed his foot on my upper back, keeping me in position, “That’s where you belong, isn’t it? Under my foot with your ass in the air. I want to hear you beg me to take you.”  
I wiggled a little, arms reaching out to grab onto something. Thinking about a response, I was not going to let him take it that easily, “No. Let me up, now,” I tried to demand.  
All I heard was Kylo laughing above me, “Let you up? Who do think you are to demand anything from me?”  
I tried to push upwards but he kept steady pressure on my back, “Let me go now,” I tried to wiggle more.  
“Tell you what, I will let you go, IF you can tell me the correct color,” I could feel the pressure on my back being lifted just a little  
It was always endearing when, if he was being particularly rough, that he would make sure that I felt ok with it. “Fuck you,” I spat out and continued my struggles. Even though I was scared about what was to come, I wanted to see what was next.  
“Wrong answer,” he sneered. His hands found their way into my hair as his foot fell away. I was again, dragged over to where he had placed the coffee table. Facing it long ways, Kylo then pushed me till my head was just hanging over the edge and my legs were stretched out behind me. I felt a tingle in the air before I hear the jingling of a buckle.  
Taking my hands, Kylo brought them around to my back and tied them together, “Stop it right now,” I tried to demand again. His hand in my hair prevented me from moving my head but I tried to roll off the table.  
“Let me go!” I tried to protest, but it fell on deaf ears.  
I gave out a shout as he smack my rear a few times, “Stay still,” he commanded and this time I saw him raise his hand and the Walmart bag floated through the air and smacked into his hand. Placing a knee on my neck, he proceeded to pull out a neatly wrapped rope. In no time, I was fully tied to the table, my legs on either side bent and secured. I was now in full display, legs spread and everything in view. He stepped back, “There we go,” he placed a hand on one of my cheeks, “This is going to be so much easier,” and he trailed a finger down the crack and lightly rubbed the hole there.  
“No!” I cried out, struggling against my bindings, “You will not touch me,”  
He placed both hands on either side and pulled them apart, my ass spread more than I had imagined they would, “I think we are past the point of demands, my dear. In this position, I can take whatever I want,” I gasped as I felt his tongue flick the swollen nub of my clit, “And by the looks of it, you are wanting it,” and he rubbed his finger at the opening of my cunt, “I’m going to have you begging me to take your ass by the time I am done,”  
“Never,” I breathed out.  
He inserted a finger, “We’ll see,” and he slowly began to move the digit, in and out. I tried to clamp down, playfully trying to keep him out but I knew I was too wet to prevent it. He was going agonizingly slow, crooking his finger every time he passed my the sweet spot. Then I froze. Kylo had softly licked my anus, sending tiny sparks through me. The finger kept up it’s slow pace as his tongue explored the puckered muscle. I began to moan softly at the feeling. It was weird but not uncomfortable, “Are you going to beg?” he inserted another finger.  
“No way,” I moaned out.  
“I can’t wait till your a blubbering mess,” and he continued on with my torture. His tongue began to circle the tight hole as his fingers twisted inside my cunt and I was straining against against my bonds, the pleasure building and building inside. I knew right then and there that I was going to die of pleasure tonight. Then I felt myself being stretched more as he added a third, “You can not tell me you are not enjoying this. You’re pussy is just soaking my fingers,” he picked up the pace a bit and I bit my lower lip, trying to stifle some of the noises that were coming out of me. Then I felt something cold dripping on my anus before a finger scratched at the muscle. Then it dipped in. I held my breath for a second before he started to fuck me with the digit. His other hand stilled with all three fingers still inside as he concentrated on the other. I clenched at the intrusion, “You need to relax or when I shove my cock inside, it’s going to hurt,” he said.  
“I don’t want it inside,” I gasped out as he twisted his finger.  
“Fuck, you are so tight,” he pumped his finger in and out a few times more before I felt another rubbing against the muscle.  
“No! Don’t you dare,” my resolve was starting to come undone.   
He then added the second finger and my breath hitched as he eased it in. He began to spread them apart little by little stretching the tight ring, “This is going to feel wonderful.” he said pumping his fingers in and out. It did feel wonderful. I didn’t know that area could be so responsive to touch like that. With my eyes rolling into the back of my head, I let my mouth drop in a silent moan, “I wonder if I could shove my whole fist in either holes,” he remarked and I didn’t know how much longer I could take this. With his fingers working their magic on both holes, I whined at how my clit was never touched, “Are you ready to beg?” he continued to scissor the two fingers in my ass.  
I finally broke, “Please,” I whispered.  
Kylo stopped, “What was that?”  
“Please,” I gasped a bit louder.  
“Oh, I know you can do better than that,” he resumed.  
“Please, just do it,”   
“Beg me to fuck your ass,” his pace sped up.  
“Please! Fuck me please,” I whined out. I wanted to feel it, every ridge of his cock moving past that tight ring.  
“Say it!” he said louder.  
“Please, fuck my ass, please!” I continued to whine.  
Both hands fell away from me and I was left, gaping under his gaze, “Of course, all you had to do was ask,” he chuckled. He moved away and I felt the coolness of the room hitting my backside. That was until I felt a hand on my cheek, spreading it apart before I felt something blunt against my hole, “Relax,” he said and he began to push. The breath was instantly knocked out of me as he pushed the head of his cock against the ring. It expanded to allow more entrance and in an instant, it popped though, “Oh fuck,” I heard him whisper. I would have said the same but I was speechless. Inch by inch, he pushed further until his groin was flushed with my ass, his balls resting against my cunt, the roughness of his pants rubbing against me as he never undressed, “This hole is now mine,” he breathed out before pulling out just until the head was left, “Fuck, you are so fucking tight. I might just had to get you something so you will stay open for me all the time,” and he picked up the pace. My moans were getting louder and louder as began to pound faster and faster, almost abusing the tight hole. His balls were slapping against my core, sometimes hitting my clit, sending even more waves of pleasure through me. The table was moving forward, a little at a time, at each thrust and at this point, I was a blubbering mess. Please and yes’s were coming out of me as he took me. Drool came out of my mouth as I just surrendered to the feeling of his cock drilling my tight hole. His hands came down and braced themselves next to my head as he leaned forward, his member rubbing new places in my insides. I could feel my climax building. “I’m not going to last much longer. So tight,” he said above me. A few more thrusts later, he stilled and I felt his seed filling me.  
Pulling out, I heard him pant and I whined at being left empty. I wanted more. “Please!” I cried out, trying to move to get any friction against my clit. Blood was starting to pound in my ears at how badly I had wanted to cum.  
His fingers returned and spread my cheeks apart, “That looks beautiful, my cum dripping from your ass. You want to cum?”  
“Yes! Please,” I drifted off, almost in tears from frustration.  
Kylos fingers came back, but started to rub furiously at my clit, my mouth open in a silent scream, “Cum baby,” he said and he increase pressure. Not two seconds later, the coil inside of me snapped. Screaming, I convulsed, my orgasam ripping through me. I rode out the wave, his fingers still moving lightning fast on my clit, the feeling of his cum leaking out of me, and I began to get tunnel vision until everything went dark.  
I awoke to the sound of water running and being held tightly against a bare chest. With drooping eyelids, I opened them and saw my self being carried and lowered back into the tub, this time with Kylo holding me against his chest as the water surrounded us. Groaning, I snuggled further into his flesh and closed my eyes again. Feeling him sigh, Kylo placed a kiss atop of my head and nuzzled my hair. We stayed in the bath until the water grew cold.

A few months later, we were standing back on Naboo, holding hands as we went through the same ritual as Hux and Rey did when they got married. But where they had a large crowd, we opted for a select dozen. We didn’t want the attention a large crowd would give us, just close family and friends. I had tears in my eyes as Kylo held my hands in his. The warmth and caring in those eyes were only for me and mine toward his. I grew stronger with the force and I had committed fully on being his. I always called him Master or Sir and the very few occasions I would call him by his name. We felt the love between us more now than ever. Our promises and love would run strong between us and nothing would ever tear us apart again.  
About two months later, as we were making plans to move to that secluded planet, I began to feel a pain in my lower stomach. I tried to hide it as we looked through proposed plans but the more I ignored it, the stronger it came. Before long, I cringed, grabbed Kylos arms and doubled over, clutching my stomach.  
“What is it?” he threw down the data pad and held my hand.  
Grunting, I fell to my knees in pain, “I... I don’t know. It hurts,” I cried out and fell sideways on the floor. The pain was getting greater and greater. I barely remembered, Kylo kneeling next to me shouting my name before I passed out, a cry escaping my lips.  
I woke up in what I recognized was a medical room. I was covered with a thin blanket and was changed into a medical dressing gown. Kylo was sitting next to me, clutching my hand and his forehead rested against it, “Kylo?” I whispered, confused on why I was here.  
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed and he pushed the button, calling the doctor.  
“Where am I?” I croaked out.  
He grabbed my hand in both of his, “The Finalizer. After you passed out, I contacted Hux. The ship was already in our system and the medical facilities on our planet were nonexistent. How are you feeling?” he placed a hand on my forehead.  
“Fine. There’s no pain anymore. What happened to me?” I looked up.  
“I don’t know. I just called for the doctor. He should know. They ran a bunch of tests and then disappeared,” just then, the door opened and the doctor walked in.  
“You’re awake! Good,” the medical professional said, walking over and sitting on my other side, “Everything seems to be normal. I can’t find anything that indicated any trauma, but may I be the first to say, congratulations!” he smiled.  
Confused, I looked at Kylo then back at him, “Congratulations? For what?” I asked.  
“You’re with child!” he smiled more.  
I was speechless. I couldn’t be pregnant. My abilities to do so were long since severed and as far as I knew, so was Kylos. Looking at his also confused features, he was the first to talk, “That’s impossible. I’ve been sterilized,” Kylo replied, “And so has she. You must have the wrong data,”  
The doctor got a weird look on his face, “No, this is correct. But, let me see something,” and he pulled out a black box with a screen and stood. Grabbing the top of the blanket, he turned to me, “May I?” indicating that he wanted to remove the cloth. Nodding, he pulled it down and hovered the box over my lower stomach and pressed a button. I held onto Kylos hand a bit tighter as I wanted a thin red line scanned back and forth. Looking up at him, his gaze was concentrated on the little box. Eventually he did look down and his features softened. Placing a kiss at the top of my head, the doctor pulled away and looked back at me, “Well, I just did a deeper scan and I did notice old scar tissue. But, it looks like, somehow, the tubes did reopen, lengthen, and reattached to your ovaries. That explains the reason for the pain,” he continued to look at his device.  
“What about Kylo?” I said, worry in my voice.  
The doctor looked at me then back at him, “If you wouldn’t mind, Sir, may I run a scan on you?”  
Kylo sat back, “Yes.” he flatly said, still holding my hand. The doctor made his way around the bed, stood before Kylo and stooped down, holding the box inches away from his crotch. He looked over at me and rubbed his thumb across the top of my hand.  
“Well, this is interesting,” the doctor said, standing, “Have you had any pain recently?” looking at Kylo.  
He shifted in his seat a bit, “Uhm,” he looked at me, “Yes, last night,” he gave out a sigh, “I was in the bathroom when it hit. Felt like a kick. I didn’t want to wake you,” he squeezed my hand, “I knew pain and how to handle it, so I rode it out, then it was gone,”  
“Well, the same thing happened to you. Something happened to mend the both of you.” he backed up a few paces, “I will speak to General, I mean, Emperor Hux, to make sure that the Finalizer stays in this system particularly near this planet. I want to see you every two weeks, just to make sure that the newly formed connection is healing and that there will be no complications. In the meantime, you are free to go and go about your daily routine. Like I said before, congratulations,” and he was gone.  
We were left to our own thoughts. It was confusing. How is it possible that I was with child now, “The force,” Kylo whispered.  
“What?” I asked.  
“It had to have been the force. Somehow, I think it wants us to reproduce,” he explained, “This the only thing I can think of,” looking at me.  
“I’m scared,” I whispered, looking down at our hands.  
He leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine, “So am I,” and he reached with his free hand and placed it on my lower stomach, “But we’ll figure this out,” I placed my hand on top of his.  
The months rolled by and my stomach started to grow. Kylo would constantly ask if I was alright or if I needed to rest almost the entire day. Not being able to take it anymore, I blew up at him. I screamed that I wasn’t a delicate little flower that would wither and die and that I could still do my normal work. The only difference was that I was carrying a baby. I payed for that outburst by not being able to sit comfortably that evening but it was worth it. He had backed off. Still being very concerned for mine and the babies health, he went back to being normal.  
There was one morning that we had decided to just lay together, naked in bed. Laying on my side, since that was the most comfortable position, Kylo was spooned against my back, one hand resting on my breast, the other arm, I was using as a pillow. It was then I felt something move in my stomach. Reaching down, I felt a hard bump and felt as it moved up a few inches. Quickly I grabbed Kylos hand and brought it down, placing it over the bump. He gave a satisfied sigh as he held me closer, “Mine,” he whispered in my ear as he thrusted his hips against my rear.  
Groaning, I pushed back, “Mine,” I responded. He chuckled and reached down. Lifting my leg, I felt his cock prodding my already slick entrance before entering, and after fully seating himself, he lowered my leg and nuzzled my neck, not moving. I smiled at the feeling of being filled. We spent the rest of the morning that way.


	20. Chapter 20

Kylo had spent the last month of my pregnancy traveling to and from the Finalizer, getting his old rooms ready and to make arrangements with the medical ward. Deciding to spend the last few weeks closer to when I was to give birth, he had made the decision for this move. I was sitting on a rock in the sun next to the shuttle as he placed some last minutes items on board. Rubbing my very enlarged stomach, I smiled as I watched him work. Never had I thought my life would have ended up this way. Married to the man I love and carrying his child would have been laughed at a few years ago, but now, I had to have been the most happiest woman alive.   
“That’s the last of it,” he said, walking down the ramp and toward me and stopped.  
Looking around, I tried to see what he was looking at, “What?”  
Smiling he stepped toward me and held out his hands. Taking them, he helped me to my feet and began to walk to the ramp, “Just looking at you. You’re so beautiful. Especially with my child in your belly,” He settled me in the copilots seat since he didn’t want me flying.   
In no time, we were off and heading toward the Finalizer. On our way, we decided to talk about what we would name the child. Being told it was going to be a boy made that decision a bit easier.   
After about two weeks, I began to get a small pain in my belly. The doctor told us that this would happen so I just went about my business. It wasn’t until I was in the bathroom before a more urgent pain shot through me that took my breath away, “Kylo!” I shouted as I braced myself against the wall, the feeling of water dribbling down my legs. In a second, he was in the doorway, “I.. I think my water broke,” I said nervously, scrunching my face in pain.  
Rushing to my side, he helped me over to the toilet and sat me on the lid before heading to the door. Hitting the com he yelled for medical staff to come to his room and came back, clutching my hand, “It’s going to be ok. The are coming, just breathe.” he squatted next to me.  
“It’s so messy,” I said, looking at the puddles of clear fluid mixed with a little blood, as I rubbed my stomach and breathed deeply.  
In no time, a set of medical drones equipped with a floating bed entered, and Kylo helped me onto the table. Holding my hand the entire time, I was rushed to the medical ward and placed in a much different room than what I was used to. But the doctor I had always seen was there and getting the necessary tools he would need together. Pulling out what looked like stirrups, he placed each of my heels on then and raised the dress I had been forced to wear since my belly was getting bigger. Hitting a button, I began to slide forward until my rear was hanging off a bit. I looked nervously up at Kylo as the doctor inserted a finger and felt around, “Everything seems to be normal. You should start feeling the contractions becoming closer and closer together. I’m going to have you settle into one of the near by rooms. It’s only a matter of hours until that baby is born,” he stood.  
“Hours?” Kylo asked.  
“Yes, Sir. She is almost fully dilated. You’ll know when it’s about time, but if you feel anything different, call.” and he left.  
Kylo had cleaned and redressed me when we got to the room before helping me to the bed. Hux and Rey had decided to make their appearance soon after, her showing signs of an early pregnancy, “So, we are going to have another Ren in this world,” Hux remarked but with a smile. Kylo had seated himself to my left, holding my hand.  
“So it seems. I guess we are also going to have another ginger hair child running around?” he looked at Rey.  
“That we are.” I stayed silent, trying to time the contractions and feeling the child move around more inside, “Doctor says we should be expecting in about five more months.”  
“Yes, well, we are just waiting. Doctor said in a few hours.” he looked at me.  
I smiled, “Let’s leave them alone. We don’t know exactly when the baby is coming,” Rey said touching Hux’s arm, “We’ll come back after the baby is born,” she gave me a small smile and they left.  
“How you feeling?” Kylo asked, touching my forehead again.  
“Tired, sore, wanting this to be over.” I leaned into his touch.  
“It will be, soon. You’re going to do great,” He kissed me then rested his head on my chest. Running my fingers through his hair, we stayed that way.  
About two hours later, I began to feel a different pain. It was more of a stinging than a pressure I had been feeling build. Each time I felt a contraction hit, the stinging pain came behind it. I told Kylo about this and he quickly summoned the doctor. For the second time, I was scooted to the end of the bed and feet in stirrups. “Oh my,” I heard him whisper and I quickly looked up at Kylo.  
“What is it?” he demanded, clutching my hand.  
He waved a medical droid over, “How long have you been feeling the new pain?” he asked as I felt him wiping a cloth along the inside of my leg.  
“Uhm,” my face scratched as another contraction hit, “I don’t know, five minutes?” I breathed.  
“What is wrong?” Kylo said a bit louder.  
“Well,” he placed the now red soaked rag on the waiting tray while picking up another, “Blood loss is expected from a pregnancy. This seems a little excessive so I need to find where it is coming from,”  
“Kylo?” I asked, the fear evident in my voice.  
“It will be ok. We’ll get through this.” he reassured me, patting the top of my head.  
“Doctor,” the droid said beside him, “Blood loss is at ten percent,”  
“Thank you,” he replied, obviously not wanting to know, “Okay. We need to get the baby out. You are far enough so when you feel another one of the contractions, I want you to push and push hard, ok?” he looked at me.  
“Ok,” At this point I had tears in my eyes. Something didn’t feel right. Even when I was stabbed and left for dead on the traders ship, I didn’t feel like I was about to die. This time was different. Then a contraction hit.  
I screamed out at the pain my body was putting me through, “That’s it, push, I can feel the head,”  
“Doctor, blood loss is at twenty five percent,” the droid said.  
“I know that,” he snapped, “I need another big push,” Screaming again as a wave hit me, I began to cry. I vaguely heard Kylo giving me encouraging words but the bounding of my heart was what I heard, “Almost there,”  
“Doctor, blood loss is at thirty five percent,” The doctor ignored the droid and concentrated on me.  
“Come one. One more,” he said and I pushed as hard as I could with the last wave. Screaming, I finally felt the pressure leaving me and I laid back gasping.  
I started to hear a baby cry but all I could feel was my energy draining away, “Doctor, blood loss is at fifty percent, critical,” the droid said as I looked up at Kylo.  
“Something’s wrong,” I whispered at him as tears streamed down my face. The doctor was screaming out a few orders but I kept my gaze on Kylos face. He too had tears flowing from his eyes, “I don’t feel good,”  
“Hold on,” he said, “Just hold on. Everything is going to be ok,” he strained.  
“I love you,” I whispered out, trying to keep my focus on him. Faintly I felt fingers prodding my vagina and going inside, putting pressure in several areas, “I love you,” I kept saying, clutching with all my strength. I knew I was fighting a losing battle. Too much blood had been lost and I could feel myself slipping.  
“Come on, hold on. You have to, I can’t do this by myself,” his voice wavering and hand shaking.  
“Kylo,” I whispered out, my vision darkening, “I love you,” I said for the last time. Before the darkness took me, I heard Kylo screaming, then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short! It's at the end and I couldn't stop crying myself.


	21. Epilouge

A figure sat on a hill, overlooking a winding river. The tree above gave the figure shade as it sat, motionless. It was staring at a single gravestone as something wriggled in it’s lap. Dark hair moved with the wind and small cooing could be heard. Kylo Ren sat on the grass, his one year old son, squirming in his lap as he looked at the stone. A few tears escaped his eyes as he stared, his child playing with a glittery bracelet on his wrist, “He’s about one now,” Kylo spoke, his voice wavering a bit, “He’s got my hair and unfortunately my nose but I can see your fierceness in his eyes,” he looked down at his son as the child fidgeting in his lap, “I don’t know how I can do this, I miss you so much,” and tears freely flowed from his eyes as he held his son tighter.   
A warm breeze came through the area, blowing the hair out of his face as he cried. Then a very soft touch was placed on his shoulder, almost spiritual like. The silence of area was broken by the child's cry of excitement, “Mommie!” is shrieked as it held its pudgie arms up. Kylo looked up and into the eyes of his wife.  
“Sapphire,” he whispered as she knelt beside him, “I don’t know what to do,” he leaned against her.  
She held her hand out to their child and it took it and placed it in his mouth, “Like you said before, we’ll figure it out.”  
“I’m afraid. Afraid that I will fail him as a father and as a husband,” he looked at her.  
“Don’t forget Master,” and she kissed his cheek, “You’ll be fine. You’re already doing great. She would be proud of you,” Sapphire said as she watched their son stumble from Kylos lap and take a few staggering steps to the stone that read Leia Organa, “She’s with your father now and I know they both would be proud of you,” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her head in the crook of his neck.  
He took a few steadying breaths, “You’re right,” he gave in, giving her hand a pat.  
“I know,” she replied, watching as the child took a few steps and fumbled, landing on his rear. He looked up at his parents and smiled, before shoving his fist into his mouth, “I think Ben is getting hungry,” she whispered into his ear.  
Kylo stood first, arching his back before looking down at his wife, “I wonder when I’ll be able to see you on your knees against before me,” he smiled, wiping the last tears from his eyes as he helper her up.  
She rubbed her growing belly, “Probably not until after this one is born,” she smiled as she stood. Kylo reached down and scooped his son up and into his arms before taking her hand.  
“I think two children will be enough for us to handle,” he remarked as they walked back to the shuttle.  
“I agree with you,” and they disappeared into the shuttle.  
Back at the grave, a cool wind whipped around, blowing a few leaves around before a misty figure appeared, watching the family walk away. A younger Leia smiled while leaning against the tree, proud on how far her son had come. Another figure appeared and that was of a young Han, joining his wife as he saw his son take his family home. They both gave a look of love to each other before taking each others hand. As they began to walk down the other side of the hill, their spiritual bodies began to dissipate into the air, leaving behind their son, knowing that the family was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story back at the beginning of September 2018. I've gone through 3 drafts to make it where I wanted it. Still not perfect, but I hoped you all enjoyed it. Hopefully now I can get back to my Friday the 13th one and finish that. Freaking 10 years in the making. Why do I wait so long? Oh well. Working on a few more Star Wars one as well, if y'all are interested. Any ways, I hope you enjoyed it!


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